This has been such a terrible day and I really need you guys to help me with this one.

My Dad has not been well for a while now, but he has never been one to go to the doctor. We finally talked him into it, actually I made the appointment without asking him and he went. He has gone through lots of tests, MRI's, CAT scans, etc and it turns out he has lung cancer. Not really a big surprise, he has smoked for probably 50 years and was an alcoholic for about 35., but I am still in shock.

To make things worse, he has no insurance and at this time no income. He is a self employed land surveyor and things have been so slow he can't pay his bills. His credit card company is calling me, he just got the foreclosure notice on his house.

A good friend is taking him to Social Security tomorrow to sign him up so he at least gets something every month. He has signed up for assistance through the hospital, but we haven't heard anything from them yet?

I just don't know what to do? Will his morgage company be a little more lenient if they know what's going on? Would they even talk to me? SHould I help him refinance and get caught up? What about any medical bills he gets? I just don't know what to do, I want the rest of his life to be comfortable and worry free but I don't know how to do that. He is so miserable, it really just makes me cry.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

He is only 62, does he qualify for Medicare? Medicade maybe? I really don't know anything about these things. I don't think he has disability insurance, but will ask.

I just want to straighten these things out so he doesn't have to worry about being out on the street. He could always come here, but he wouldn't want to, he likes his own house.

DOes anyone know anything about hospice? He can't afford a nurse or anything, but would they come anyway?

Things are such a mess. I am going to go to bed now, I can't think about it any more.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

sorry, I really can't offer much advice, but I can offer my support

I am very sorry to hear this. You and your family will be in my prayers....

I am sorry to hear this is as well. You are all in my thoughts as well. I wish I had some ideas to offer. Hopefully Carrie and others will come through for you with some ideas. That's hard.

My mom used hospice when she was dying, she made the decision that she did not want to be kept alive and wanted to leave the hospital after a lengthy stay to go home to die. Myself and my 2 older DD's one adult, I think the other was 18 or 19 at the time, so both adults (all took off work), we stayed with her 24/7 in shifts until she passed away. Hospice was very good, they came any time we called them, and visited everyday, either a nurse or aide. I think (not positive) that you do have to be dying for the doctor to recommend hospice. My mom had medicare and private insurance at the time. Social security was her income. She was much older than you dad though, 92 when she passed away. Please feel free to ask any questions I will help you if I can.

If you Dad lives alone, so keeping the house is not an issue after he dies, you might consider a reverse mortgage on the house. I'm not sure of all the ins and outs of a reverse mortgage, so you'd have to look into it to see if it is appropriate for him.

I just wanted to offer my support . I'm so sorry. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts.

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l/ l/ l/
Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

Flipper, I'm so sorry and will keep your family in my thoughts.

You can try to contact the mortgage company and explain the situation to see if they'll work with you. Since your dad has already received foreclosure papers, I don't know what they'll do. But it may be worth a shot.
As for doctors and hospitals....they will work with you, if you have no insurance or if you have bills left to pay that the insurance will not cover. They'll set it up on monthly payment plans. I realize however with your dad not working, even that may sound like a stretch but it's better than nothing, perhaps.

Above all, enjoy as much time as possible with your dad right now. Keep yourself mentally healthy so you can be there for him!

HUGS!

I am so sorry. My dad had lung cancer, it is a very difficult disease. Do you know what kind of lung cancer and what stage it's at? Lung cancer is not always a death sentence.

Your dad's qualification for medicaid is based on his income and assets. The house won't count against him, but cars and other assets can. You can find out more here Overview

If it is terminal and end stage, hospice should not cost you anything (it didn't for us either time we needed it). It is not full time care in the home, but there are hospices that are kind of a cross between home and the hospital that are available if there isn't someone available to stay with him full-time.

On the finances, if it is a terminal diagnosis with a short-term life expectancy, then perhaps just let it go until he passes if he will not be with you when the foreclosure is finalized. If not, he could file for bankruptcy to get rid of the creditor's calls and protect the house. While I know this isn't the ideal solution, it will make things easier for both of you in the current situation.

I don't know what kind of plans he's made, but you will probably need to see that someone has both medical and financial power of attorney for your dad in case it is needed.

You and your family will be in my prayers.

Renee

I was going to recommend bankruptcy. That will stop him from worrying about losing his house. The rest of the creditors - who cares? Obviously your dad has bigger worries right now, he shouldn'e be worried about his home.

Good luck.

My sister called the morgage company and they were no help. They said he could call and give them permission to talk to her and then they could send her all of the information about catching him up and all of the attorney fees, etc.

I was actually thinking about getting a home equity loan to pay everything for him and then taking money from him every month to pay it back, but that's a $60000 chance we would be taking.

I will let him call tonight and tell me and then ask about SS and if he wants me to take over his finances (he should give me power of attorney so my hands aren't tied when he needs me.

I am a little more calm today, but the arguement with my Mom yesterday about MOther's day and then this, just topped it all off. Then my FIL was in the hospital, whew, what a day, glad that one's over. I still haven't alkted to my Mom, but that's the other thread.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I would recommend talking with an attorney and working on Power of Attorney for Finances and Medical decisions. I went through this with both my parents but it's never easy. He may qualify for medicaid, it depends upon the stste you live in. He needs to start signing over his property and possessions, sounds harsh but if he doesn't "own" anything it may make things easier. The hospital should have financial aid available. I'm sorry for what you are going through and remember that you are not alone.

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Mom to Miss C & Mr. E
Former SAHM now working full time
feboll@neo.rr.com

Most mortgage companies will not work with you once foreclosure has been initiated. Catching up doesn't sound like an option for your dad. Bankruptcy is the only way to stop it.

It looks like you have a lot to do while still stunned by the news. I'm so sorry for you and your family.

My heart goes out to you and your family. What is the resale value of the house versus the balance owed? Is a quick sale possible with the proceeds used to clear the debts? The creditors call yell and scream all they want, let them, you've got bigger issues. Let them know the house is in foreclosure, he has no income so there is nothing for them to collect on, he's broke. They can be so intimidating but please, they're just pond scum. At 62 you can collect Medicare, usually for SSI you have to be disabled 2 years, but I don't know if that is still the rule. He has to qualify for Medicaid. Hospice used to be for only terminally ill with 6 months to live but that has changed, more lenient guidelines now. I would see an attorney and discuss everything with him and also with hospice, they are such a big help. We'll say prayers for you. Please keep us posted.

Laurie

Here's the latest:

He goes for a test in 5 days to see what stage his cancer is in. Then once we know that, his doctor can write a note and he can file for disability, so he'll get a little more in his monthy check instead of just retirement income. He was in much better spirits after hearing all of this, he expected they would say only 6 weeks to live, you know all the worst case senerios.

Apparently the "mass" isn't even in his lungs, it's BETWEEN his lungs? And they are doing one of those whole body scans to see if it's anywhere else.

I have been talking with a friend of his who is taking him to his appointments and is just awesome, she finds out everything and calls me to fill me in (Dad has not been able to call or even talk about it with me yet) The next step is to refinance and his friend is going to have him call the morgage company tomorrow and see how much it'll take to catch him up. Them I am going to take him to get the home equity loan and get everything paid and down to a managable amount. We do have to wait to see if he's going to get disability or SS since the checks would be higher with the disability and that might make a difference.

He is so depressed and overwhelmed, he doesn't know where to start so hopefully us women can straighten him out.

Thank you everyone for the support and prayers, they are definiatly helping.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

not much advice here but have him try for medicare or medicaid hes gonna need it

We are all here for you though I lost my own dad to drinking when he was 51 & my FIL to lung cancer at 50 so I know its not easy to go threw this. I know maybe have him move in with you if he needs to my dad & my FIL both did that too & its just something to maybe make him feel better to be with his grandkids.

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mom of 3 greats girls

(HUGS) I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I'll call my sister who might be able to help you .. her 30 year old husband was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor, and he had no insurance either. hang in there.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you!

God bless you, dear, and may He give you the Strength, the Grace, and the Peace to deal effectively with this heartbreaking situation. Cry when you must (kick an empty box for anger) but keep your chin up.
Dee

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"Old age ain't no place for sissies."
-Bette Davis -

I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you!

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Jenn
"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
Winston Churchill

wow, that's a tough one-will keep him in my prayers for a good prognosis. It sounds like he has some equity in his house-I would definitely look into a reverse mortgage. There are good companies and bad companies, and I don't have one to recommend, but I have heard really good things about them-and they are quick, and this would help you guys get rid of some of your stress while your dad is going through this battle.

I saw a commercial on TV last night for Countrywide Home Loans

They are offering a 'NO COST REFI' (no cost refinance) right now. That might be something to look into?

I've been thinking of you, your dad and your family.