This place has always been the place for the BEST advice in the world and I am really at my wits end with this one...
My son is 16. He has been living at his dads house for 2 years because he was disrespecting and getting physical with me. He wanted to go live with dad because it would be better there so I let him. Hard as it was, I signed custody over to dad and let him go. This past year things have really gotten bad. He has ran away numerous times, LIES like you wouldnt believe. Has been kicked out of vocational school because he pushed a teacher. Sentenced to counseling where he just sat there and refused to talk. Court say there is not much that they can do unless he kills someone because they are so crammed. Got a call from the school today that he is getting an 11% in two of his classes and the other one he has a ZERO!! ZERO!! has not handed in one thing this sememster. The school, god bless them, keeps trying and does not want to give up. He was suspended today for a week because he didnt go to two saturday schools.
When you try to talk to him, every word that come out of his mouth is a lie. He ran away from his dads oaround christmas time, told me his dad threw him out. I took him in, made a nice christmas for him then two days later told him he had to go home and face the music at dads. THEN I get a phone call from dad saying that son told him he had been walking the streets for a week.
I jsut dont know waht to do anymore. He is in the system but there seems to be no help because of over crowding...

WOW sounds like my brother before he was diagnosed and treated for mental diseases.

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Laura
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I'd suggest taking him to a Neurologist and seeing if there is something chemically/physically wrong... With our insurance, you would need a referral from your family doctor in order for them to cover the cost.

There is nothing wrong with a GED (in my opinion) if high school just doesn't work out for him.

You all are surely in my thoughts. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for your family and your son.

I am starting to think that there a re mental issues there too...
Out of curiosity LBeadle what was the diagnosis??

Hi, I am new here my name is Tami. I have a son that is 28 and a step son that is 13 going on 50. I kid you not. He has always been trouble in school even in daycare before school he was trouble. In Second grade he got suspended 11 times from the start of school until February 14 11 times. His Mother has always been #1 in her book nothing comes before her even her son. My husband got full custody of him when he was in the 2nd grade. (BTW she dropped him off 2 blocks away on BUSY streets and took off.) She got remarried got pregnant before hand and is now not working but driving a 2007 mercedes.
Our son (and I will say that because I am the only Mother he has ever known) has ADHD I finally could not take his hitting the teachers kicking students smarting off to anyone has decided that he does not like the rules here and tries to do what ever he wants. My husband is gone through the week and comes home on Friday night and leaves on Monday morning for his job. It is 110 mies away and they pay good but the gas was killing us. He does not listen to me smart off when we give him his medicine he was putting it under his tongue and then spitting it out. and this has been going on for 4 years. He has now decided that his biological Mother is the greatest thing in the world. Makes me SICK! I cannot imagine going through what you are but I do know a little. I hope your son gets on the right path but I wanted to say have you had him Tested for ADHD? There are different forms of it and some are worse than others.
I take my son to the Dr and therapist every month and to group once a week. It has helped some but like this morning he left without taking his medicine. I had Oral Surgery yesterday and made sure he got up and got dressed and laid back down and he left without coming into our room and taking the meds. I did not even know he was gone. My biological son was never like this he was a normal boy who played FB. BB B-Ball and Soccer from the time he was 5 until he grad high school.
I will keep you in my thought but if you have not already get him into the Dr. and get him tested. When they are on there meds they are totally different kids.

I am not a therapist. I do feel you son has issues that may be depression. I can only believe that if someone does not care...apathy, they must be very depressed.
When are children misbehave we are disappointed, when it continues we can become angry that our discipline is not working, and if the behaviour continue we can also feel great frustration. Apathy is beyond frustration...we no longer care. (This, I believe, is the place we need to be with a spouse when we want a divorce.)
I wish I could help you answer the question as to why you child doesn't care.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

I can say all I want taht I dont care, however I do. He goes to court Monday and I am afraid.. I am really afraid that they are going to lock him up. He has not kept ONE term of probation. I just called him to try to talk with him and he hung up on me telling me that he didnt care what hapeened to him...
Dont know what else I can do...

I have a daughter like this. She even phsically attacked us. We had the police involved from the time she was 13 and on. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When she was on her meds she was a pretty good kid, when she didn't WOW! She ran away the month before she turned 18 and ended up pregnant. She is now 20, I have guardianship of her baby, she did that voluntarily. . She is still as wild and I don't even want to think of what she is up to. I know that baby is safe and that is the main thing. There comes a time you have to realize you can do no more. I hate knowing she is not doing as well as she could (she won't even go to a doctor much less take her meds now) But I also have to realize she is now an adult and has to be responsible for her own actions. I know this isn't much help, but thought it might help to know other people have gone through this too.

have you thought about a boot camp type situation.. My kids aren't that old .. just a thought... I wish your family well.. give us an update.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Sue~ Thanks! It does help to know that others have BTDT and it is ok to reach a point where you can do no more. I think I am there. as much as I love him, I am only hurting myself by trying to help him. He manipulates me then slams the door in my face or calls me names.
I have looked into Boot camps. They are 12-25 THOUSAND dollars a month unless they are in the system. I am going to BEG the judge MOnday for that.. I have to...

I looked into boot camps too, with the same problem. Who has $20,000 for tuition? My dd was placed in a special school for kids with behavior disorders. She gave them all kinds of hell and ended up graduating early with a 3.8 grade point average. I was shocked. She never did homework and was always in trouble at school. I feel like the school system almost "cheated" by helping her so much she ended up graduating like that with no effort put forth. So it just enforced her thining she could get away with anything.

Hi God Will Help Your Son

We have a new home for your son it will be free four you

please go to Lighthouse Mission - Serving the needy on Long Island - Patchogue, NY

the men's house is coming soon

my e-mail is rburrows@suffolk.lib.ny.us good luck God love your Son and Iknow you the mom love your son to.