How do you handle people that invite themselves over to your house? I have a dear friend from college that has us over all the time . It's a bit of a drive but it's worth it. His wife asked us what we were doing this weekend and I told her , and she says they will be over on Sunday I don't mind but I couldn't come up with something on the spot. I was caught off guard..

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I dislike pop-ins because you are not prepared when they come over. But I think people that invite themselves over are a bit different because at least you know when they will drop by. Then you get the chance to say you are either busy or free for that particular date.

In your case, since you say they have you over all the time, maybe they felt it was time you play host. Or they just enjoy your company but wanted to do it at your house this time. Is there a reason you don't want them over, or is it that you feel they should have waited for you to ask?

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All I can say is that I don't pop over people's houses and I don't like them popping over my house...I'll call first and I like them to do the same... ~Lisa

You think she just feels close enough to you to invite herself over like that?
I don't do pop ins and unless it's my mom or best friend I'd prefer others not pop in on me. But that's not a pop in either. It's as you said inviting herself over. I would consider it rude under most circumstances but I almost think she feels it's ok because you're good friends. Of course, I don't know this person or the entire situation so I could be way wrong, lol!
If it bothers you enough, you may have to tell her you prefer to do the inviting when you feel up to company or if you don't already, make a point of inviting them over once or twice a month.

I could care less if ppl come over in fact we have a revovling door at are house b/c the neighborhood kids are always over and then their parents end up over here. I have to stop and tell you now that they do at least knock on our door but, its mostly to make sure my DHs police k-9 isn't out and roaming around!!

If it bothers you, don't feel like a b@!#h, tell them NO, I'm busy, Your bothering me, We need our family time, Go Away, Do not disturb hanging on the door(works wonders) Or just answer the door naked and scratching your butt. Or you can take it as a compliment that you must make your home very welcoming and inviting if they want to spend alot of time there. Just pick something soon for you and your family and do it before you start to become resentful.

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Vicki


TLJ Women united in Spirit!

we don't have pop in's but that's probably because I wouldn't allow them. I think it's rude to invite yourself and I probably would have made the comeback: it's nice you want to join us but we are looking forward to spending the day together as a family so maybe I'll give you a call next time

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Well, for me it depends entirely. If it is someone I like and feel comfortable with....and who would not care if my house was not white-glove clean, it doesn't much bother me. If it is someone who I don't have a close relationship with, then pop-ins won't last long as I will have "something" up.

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"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

I come at this from a different perspective (I think!).

We are always having people to our house -- I think we feel like everyone's mom and dad ... comfort zone at our house? We VERY rarely get invited to other people's homes. We have NO idea why! Sometimes I feel like inviting ourselves because it won't happen if we don't. Of course, we don't invite ourselves over and they keep on coming to ours... so things don't change!

If you have not been the host and hostess for awhile (or ever), maybe you can come up with a time when you can do the inviting on your terms and have this family over. A good friend will understand if you bow out for this weekend.

It just seems that in the olden days, folks did more of this and there weren't telephones and cell phones to set it up. We didn't have a telephone growing up and people really did just pop by or we'd never see anyone! Sometimes, I really long for that.

I like to lounge in my pj's for the better part of the day if I don't have a reason to go anywhere and I tell EVERYONE that if they don't call, the lights will go out and we will hide like cowards in our own house. Calling and telling me you are on your way gives me a few minutes to straighten up the perpetually messy house (due to a toddler and a husband with no focus) and it also gives me a chance to throw some clothes on if the situation merits it!
I used to have a high school friend who would just come in my house when my husband and I were first married...now, we keep our doors locked at all times. She thought that since she was a friend she could just walk in!
Oh and for those who are "blaming" it on the olden days, BS! Everyone has a phone these days and if they don't there's one in almost every restaurant or gas station they can use for a 35 cent fee! I think 35 cents is worth it not to be kicked out, waste your gas, or embarrassed...don't you?

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I guess that would be *me*... "blaming" it on the olden days... No, there is no excuse. I was just longing for that day cuz I can. Not because I want people to stop by unannounced!

The OP doesn't make it sound like they are popping by ... It is that they have invited themselves over (on the phone).

I do believe that people should reciprocate was the main point I was trying to make.




People know that if our blinds are closed, we are not taking visitors...

Yes, that was my point as well. You said it much clearer though.
I also wonder if maybe OPs friends wanted to lighten a burden since OP says they make quite a drive to the friend's house? Maybe the friends feel a little bad and wanted to lessen that for OP & family?

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Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

I've invited them before , but all 3 times he got called into work, so it isn't like I haven't offered. The live about 45 minutes away and they have 2 kids so we have to make sure we have enough food and drink and entertainment here. It is a dear friend that I met in college and his wife and kids. I was out at there place on friday and she asked me then if we cared if they came over for a picnic on sunday.(yesterday) Of course I felt obligated since I was at their place , and it actually turned out to be a lot of fun.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

So glad to hear! It usually does.

For me, the stress about them actually coming is always worse than the time that we are together. We love spending time with our friends! Sometimes impromptu is so much easier... Otherwise, I really do fret for days beforehand.

I'm so glad that you had a nice time together. And, yes, I did feel for you. Been there, done that. It's hard.