Do you think that being overly picky and refusing to eat "normal" every day foods is self-centered? I know one woman that will refuse white cake, will only eat chocolate. Another will not eat anything creamy. My FIL eats the middles of stuffed green peppers, leaves the peppers. This kind of thing I think is self-centered at times and wonder...is this part of their identity or do they truly not like said item? (I am excluding diets and allergies / medical reasons.)

Rebecca

Yes, I think that it can be self-centered -- bordering on rudeness.

My yoga teacher said that she used to be like this but finally came to the point where she realized that a lot of LOVE and hard work went into the preparation of the food. She now looks at it as though she is ingesting the 'love'. Hee hee! Gotta love her!

My own father has been a very strict vegetarian for years. He has to come to the point where he has relaxed his veg ways for family/friend get togethers. He started to notice the looks of disappointment on peoples' faces when he refused the food (I personally think that he also got tired of explaining being a veg!). He is a very kindhearted and polite man and it bothered him to think that he was hurting peoples' feelings.

My brother has not yet learned the art (if that is what it is called!). It is very difficult when he comes to visit as I try to be a good hostess and there is always something that I prepare that he 'can't eat'. I usually try to tell him the menu in advance and then ask him to bring a dish to supplement the meal if he'd like. That has seemed to help -- and to tell you the truth, he still doesn't bring a dish so yes, I think it is an attention getter for him to have all of these food problems.

My healthy 87 year old grandma always says, "Moderation is key."

Sorry so long... I had a lot of stories to share on this, eh?!

If they are quiet and don't make a fuss I am ok with them not eating some items. Why would anyone want to draw attention to their self to go on and on??
Very childish in MHO.

rebeccarr- I had a couple kids who didn't like green peppers so i always stuck in several of the meat balls with no peppers for them!

I only concider it rude if they make a big deal out of it. I so do not like chocolate cake or chocolate icecream. Whenever I am at a birthday party that has it I will have a very small piece or none at all. I never announce why though.

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I laugh at you because you are all the same.

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It's not rude unless you announce it to people. We all have our preferences, likes and dislikes. I happen to hate white cake/vanilla frosting too. At a large gathering I will simply say no thank you. At a small one I will take a piece and kind of push it around and pick at it.

If you have noticed the dislike or they have mentioned it while the food is not being served, then I think it's simply personal preference. If someone has served X food and they announced ewwww I dont eat X food, then I think it would be rude.

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rhapsody112@gmail.com

I'd say it's more of their identity and they truly don't like said item.
So yes it may be considered self centered, in that they are thinking about themself and what they ingest.

I am picky. For example, I prefer white cake. I'm not a fan of chocolate or marble. I won't eat it if that's what is being served. I don't make a big deal about it though.

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Well I can be picky about foods my dh thinks I am an extremly picky eater but I have gotten way better over the years. If I am at a gathering anymore I will usually try anything at least I try it unless its something I really really know I dont like & I cant think of anything I really dislike but ya know someone will have some exotic dish or desert or something & I wanna go EWW but I never do I either try it or dont & move on.

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mom of 3 greats girls

I think it's the intent. Do they not eat these items for a good reason? I refuse to eat a lot of things because I have done the research and know what the effects, long and short term, are to my body, my mental health, etc.
On the contrary I think people who don't take the time to understand what they are putting into their bodies and the bodies of other people they are feeding could be considered selfish.
Half the people I know do not care what is in their food. They don't care about what HFCS or hydrogenated fats or poisoned anitbiotic and growth hormone laced milk is doing to them.
That is selfish if you ask me. A person should care enough about their loved ones to want to be around and be healthy for them and to teach them proper eating habits.
Sorry if you think I am selfish. If I don't know what's in it I am not eating it. One bite of this at your house, one piece of cake at Auntie's house, one bowl of this at the neighbor's cousin's daughter's first holy communion, some pie after dinner before you know it I am bloated, have heartburn, my back hearts, I am having trouble breathing, and my skin and hair look really bad. Not to mention what it's doing to my insides.
No thank you.

And I don't make a big deal out of it but often it ends up that way because people won't take no for an answer. A polite "no thank you" gets rewarded with "why not? just a bite/piece/slice/bowl" and you must eventually say "I don't eat meat/sugar/white flour/aritificial preservatives/fat/whatever" then the host/hostess takes it as insult when in the first place you tried so hard to just say "no thank you". It's worse with relatives because they know and are often trying to start something.

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Recently we were invited to a dinner party and I saw that she was going to serve some beautiful "looking" shrimp cocktails.
But I hate shrimp!!
I was not sure what to do and a friend suggested I tell the hostess. I did so quietly and she was very nice and she started my salad earlier.

I WAS embarressed, but I would have been more so to sit there not touching it.

I only find it self-centered when the person in question draws major attention to it. For example, I don't eat cake, at all. I don't like it, I don't like how it makes me feel and I just don't like it, lol. When at a birthday party or gathering that involves cake, I always politely decline a serving of cake. I never elaborate and I never make up reasons why I am not having cake. I simply say, "No thank you."

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Proud mama to Emily and wife to Dan!

My MIL drives me crazy with this. I offer her a drink.....she asks what we have....I say I have water, orange juice, coke, or coffee....she says "I'll have an iced tea.". I'm like WTF....I didn't offer you an iced tea?@#(*@ It's just part of her personality.

cj/

Ok, I hate cooked green peppers so I can relate to that one! I will eat peppers or almost any veggie raw but not cooked.

I always ate the middles only growing up since that was dinner, take it or leave it. I don't make them now of course.
If I dont like something I just avoid it if possible. I only think it's selfish if the person not eating goes on and on about how gross it is. But I do do that to my mom about certain things (" Lobsters eat fish poop, oh yummy"....NOT)...lol

I have had people over for dinner....Lasagne ....only to find out he doesn't eat pasta! That was hard to work around but he pulled out the noodles and ate salad and bread. Life goes on!

I think it would be more annoying to just waste the food if you knew you weren't going to eat it why play with it? EX: the shrimp cocktail mentioned, someone else probably would love the extra shrimp so why would I mess with it to be thrown out later?

Personally, I don't think it's anybody's busness what I do or don't eat. It's my choice. Why would it be self centered of me not to eat something, and not self centered of you trying to push it on me? I am a vegetarian, and that makes a lot of people uncomfortable. I only tell people when absolutely necessary, and never make a big deal about it. Your food choices should be personal....and discreet.

this quite funny!!!
things I do not eat:
hershey chocolate or any non european chocolate(do not like the taste of it),one story : during a field trip with my son.a mom offered me some hershey kisses,and I said no ,thank you.she then proceeded to ask me : you don't like chocolate? I said I do like chocolate but do not eat hershey.she then kept asking me to taste it, and telling me that wa steh best chocolate in the world,and I didn;t want to eat it (i thought THAT was rude!!!!).
I do not like cake and frosting.just do not like it.if offered I just decline.no big deal.around me ,everyone knows it.and never push it.
I do not eat chips or dip,ice cream ,milk,root beer,peanut butter,spicy or fried food.I love crab ,but if it is spicy ,I won;t eat it.is it rude ? I do not know.
1 rude thing from my mil: she know I am allergic to coconuts.and she would purposely put some in her dish and not tell me.sometimes I could smell it ,and would refuse to eat.one time I was not that lucky ,and ended at the ER!!!!she thought I was joking ,that i was not really allergic to coconut!!!!

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I don't think it's self centered. I hate peppers so I'll eat the stuffing and leave the pepper too. Why should I eat something I don't like? If I expected everyone to plan every meal around me than yes, it would be self centered but I don't. I don't care for chocolate cake but that means I simply say "no thank you" if it's passed around. Problem is, at some places, they think you are rude if you say no thank you. They want you to have it. so, is it ruder to take it and then not eat it or not to take it at all? It doesn't happen so much anymore but for awhile in the past it did, especially with business dinners. Working from home has helped remedy that one

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I don't think it's self-centered to not like a certain food. Everyone has different tastes. I certainly wouldn't expect someone to eat something they didn't like. I don't expect them to make a big deal out of it if they don't like something -- but just mention that they don't like it would be fine. Especially as one poster mentioned the shrimp. If I were the hostess, I certainly wouldn't want to waste shrimp cocktail on a person only to have it sit there when someone else could be enjoying the extra!!

I agree with the others... especially the post that said:

"I only find it self-centered when the person in question draws major attention to it."

I don't think it's self centered at all. I don't drink soda (maybe once a month or so), I can't eat food grilled with mesquite charcoal (I can eat food cooked on regular charcoal or gas grill), I am allergic to mesquite, I am allergic to strawberries, I cannot eat seafood I am allergic to iodine. I don't like foods with sauce on them, I don't like oriental, Thai, India or any of that type food, I only like 2 or 3 differnet types of vegetables. I don't eat alot of desserts. I don't care what people think I am NOT going to eat something I don't like or something I could possibly have an allergic reaction to. It used to be better when I was younger (under 27) I could pretty much eat anything, after that it got really bad I also became allergic to yellow food dye (as I got older that went away after about 14-15 years). A few years later I became allergic to Iodine and had to stop eating seafood. At least now it is much more manageable. If I go somewhere I will just say no thank you or I just ate or I'm not really hungry. Family and friends usually accomodate me and just chalk it up to she's picky. My DD's boyfriend totally accomodates me, LOL, because he's the one that cooks and he doesn't like pork and is allergic to eggs, so I totally accomodate him when we eat at each others houses.

I don't think it's rude, disrespectful or self-centered to not eat foods you do not like.

We had 19 people over yesterday for Memorial Day picnic... about 1/2 the people refused to eat ribs that I had placed on the grill at 8 am--they were fall-off-the-bone by 3 pm.

I knew that people would be picky, so I made Kielbasa on the grill and natural casing hot dogs too. In the end, everyone had the foods that they liked, and there were no leftovers.

To me, though, it's no big deal. I will NOT eat foods that I don't like, I am picky too.

to each their own.

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SPJRNTGADL!

It is the grand announcement that some people make that makes them sound proud of themselves that they don't like a certain food that bugs me. I would never try to pressure someone to eat something that they didn't want, though.

Rebecca

Rebecca, for what it's worth... I agree with you 100%.