I live in a small town, and the rumor mill has been going crazy lately regarding me having a so-called affair. The rumors are not true, but it hurts so much to hear about people talking about you like this. Sometimes I just want to ignore everyone, and then other times I think I should just kill 'em with kindness. I'm a kind person at heart, and it isn't easy for me to be rude to someone...but I can't stand people who are being nice to my face and talking behind my back! I have definitely learned a lot from this experience, however, like not believing everything someone tells me about someone else.

How do you all deal with rumors???

I would also make it a point to be seen with DH often, arm in are, completely in love. If people think you are unfaithful to him they will be puzzled as to why you two are so close.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

There was a rumor going around about me and DH years ago...that we were getting divorced. Funny, I didn't know about it. I finally asked around and found out who started the rumor, and it turned out to be someone I had never even met. I just ignored the whole thing and it eventually blew over. I guess she found someone else to talk about.

I agree with Carrie. You should find out who is spreading the rumor. If you find someone talking about it, confront them and ask them where they got their information. Usually that will shut the person up if they're confronted.

BTW, who is the person you're rumored to be having this wild affair with?

I think in small towns, it's best to let it blow over. (unless you can pinpoint the source.) It always amazes me how it always gets back to the "gossippee". Why must people tell you what others are saying? I am in a similar situation.

Right now, it is that we bought our "big house" with funds from the local sports organization that DH heads. Uh..right. Want to see my mortgage? And this "big house" is the same size as our old one and it barely cost more than DH makes in a year. The organization has more money in its account than ever before. It definetly is the price you pay in a small town and I am wondering if its worth it. Good luck! I feel for you...I know how it hurts.

I don't know if it it was spreading rumors or outright lying, but one of my neighbors told another one that my husband said he was adopted and our youngest is adopted too. Don't know what crevice the neighbor pulled that from or why that was said, none of it was true. No tellin what other lies the neighbor told.
We did not confront the neighbor but we now know who to trust and who not to.

JMO I'd ignore it and hold my head high. If someone asks I'd set the record straight but I would not confront anyone because they would probably just deny saying it. Pretty soon the gossip mongers will find new meat to cook.

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l/ l/ l/
Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

First of all, I would look at my own behavior and make sure that I was not doing anything to give the gossips anything to talk about, make sure that there was no questionable behavior on my part. If you are not participating in behavior that would give them any ideas about this to begin with, then I would try to find out who started the rumor and go directly to them and ask them why they think this is true. I also live in a small town so I know how rumors can be, everybody usually knows everything about everyone. This happened to me once about sleeping with someone, turned out it was the person who I was "supposed" to be sleeping with that started the rumor, LOL, this didn't happen when I lived in a small town, I was living in a large city, so rumors happen everywhere. I think it is just harder in a small town.

we are in a small town, I would let it blow over. People are gonna do what they want to do, but...if you feel the need to be vengeful, and you know so and so are talking behind your back but are nice to your face, simply start your conversations with them with: "I wanted to thank you for making little old ME the central conversation you have with others--my life is interesting enough, maybe you will find something truthful to discuss"...

If you can find the person that started your rumor and tell them that line---especially in the company of others, you will force their hand.

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SPJRNTGADL!

Our solution was to move to a bigger town where no one knew us.

Good advice above. It is hard... Hold your head high. Hopefully, not too much harm has been done.

I agree it in a small town it can be hard when everyone knows everyone. In my own family everyone likes to talk about each other I finally told my grandma because she was constantly telling me what my aunts & other relatives were saying about me & my brother I told her to tell them I pray for those that gossip & it worked never heard another word from that rumor mill again LOL!!! I read somewhere to pray for people who gossip so I just told her that LOL sure wish I had said it about 15yrs prior though

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mom of 3 greats girls

You know what you don't have anything to prove to anyone in that town. YOU know and as long as your hubby knows it isn't true then that is all that matters. Don't let gossip destroy you because that is exactly what it will do.

ITA! Great advice!

Last year I heard a rumor about a friend (#1)of mine from another friend(#2). The friend(#2) had heard it from the persons(#1) best friend(#3) and I totally believed that she said it and it was true and she was spreading it around town. I hadn't talked to friend #1 in a while so I called to make sure everything was ok and to tell her what I had heard AND where it came from. I don't do rumors, I want to know the truth, I will ask.

So I called her (#1) and it bit me back, she was mad at ME. I just called to let her know not to tell her friend (#2)anything she didn't want all over town because it was getting around true or not. Maybe I shouldn't have, but it was a terrible rumor and it needed to be cleared up because like I suspected it wasn't true.

Even if you are not the person it's directed at, it can hurt a lot of people. We were in a touchy situation for a while, but have worked things out and are back to pretty much normal.

Good luck and sorry it's happening to you.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I had a rumor get to a new job before I did, but when everone found out that I DID NOT LIE AND STEAL, it just went away. I knew who started it and I still feel sorry for her because she lied all the time and would even start believing her own lies.
And I always figure when people are talking about me they are leaving someone else alone!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

Well right now I'm working out of a salon (I'm still massaging, I just use a room in the back) and I'm in a small town. I've heard rumors about people when I sit by the hairdresser's station and later in the day the same person that the rumor is supposed to be about will come in to see me! Talk about awkward!

I decided a long time ago to keep my nose out of other people's business as far as saying things like, "Guess what so and so said about you?!" and "I heard you were doing such and such." It's actually one of our state regulation rules of conduct. Pretty much "whats said in the massage room stays in the massage room and everything else stays out". I know I couldn't relax if the person giving me a massage thought that I had been drunk dancing on a table with a lamp shade on my head or something! Sometimes it is best to seem like you're totally oblivious to the outside world.

Actually, I have clients who are ex husbands and wives. They all know that the others come to me. Some will try to hint around for me to drop some information, but that's when I usually find a knot and have to get them to "be really still and breathe deep". And just pretend to be clueless. Works like a charm as far as subject changers go!

When I hear rumors about me (and in my line of work I often do) I just remember that as long as the people who matter to me know the truth, I don't need to worry about lies and rumors. Some clients of mine have called to say that they heard that I was up to "funny" business and when they heard that they walked over and put the person spreading the rumor in their place. I try to keep my chin up and know that as long as I am a professional and present myself as such that's how I will be seen. And if my integrity is ever in question my reputation and character will speak for itself and the rumor won't have much of a leg to stand on.

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Kristee
Kritter0114@aol.com

"Hold on, let me check....YES! I do have a coupon for that!"

The funny part of people who gossip & tell these lies I could usually say tons of things about that are actually true but I choose not to because then I would be just as low as them KWIM

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mom of 3 greats girls

Wow, It sure surprises me how many people could just keep quiet about this; if you can do it you are sure stronger than I am. It would PI$$ me off to no end. What I would do, and although I am basically a shy person, when it comes to my family or my reputation I am definitely a tiger---I would find out who was saying it, down to the earliest person I could trace it to. I would then ask directly that person--making sure it is IN FRONT of someone else--exactly what she/he is saying, why, and what their frame of reference is. Usually a liar will show their true colors when confronted directly--especially when there are witnesses. I live in a Bigger city (over 100,000 people), but with small-minded people. Never have had a physical fight in my life (except for siblings growing up, of course), but I have stood up for myself enough times to know that truth usually wins out in the end.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

just smile and givem the finger while whisteling your favorite tune! grew up in a small town and moved to another small town.. people have nothing better to do.. roll with the punches.. the more you fight it the guiltier you look..

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Pray, ignore them, and act otherwise. Sooner or later people whose opinions REALLY matter will figure out the truth.

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Mommy Cracked

I once told a gossipmonger if you can't say it to my face like a woman then shut up! She did.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

yes, this is when you find out who your true friends are. If there is no one left, then get closer to hubby and kids, spending more quality time with the people that matter most. Good luck, I've been there too.