When you post a problem, question, or issue on The Cafe boards, what are you looking for from board members? A solution? Sympathy? Tough Love? Hugs? If you're looking for a specific type of feedback, do you state it in your post? Why or why not?

Just curious...

cj/

I have never posted a serious problem, but I imagine that people do it because they think they've found a bunch of somewhat caring people who probably have the same general background (female - probably with kids - interested in saving money ala "mycoupons") who can be somewhat objective, and - through virtual anonyminity - hopefully honest.

I do see that many posters will state that they need prayers, or hugs, or feedback, etc.

If they don't state what they want, I think it's still usually pretty clear in the word choice, icons, etc.

I think it's a great way to get something off one's chest - and it starts some great conversations for the rest of us, too!

I think when I do a post, it just feels good to vent and put it out there. Sometimes you get feedback, sometimes you don't. It does feel nice when ppl support you, but it also makes you think when ppl disagree as well. I think for the most part, ppl on these boards are kind, and help to uplift you in your time of need.

I will read all advice and opinions with an open mind.
Even if something kinda hurts, it might be a better way to look at the situation.
Usually no one is out to hurt on purpose, just to help in a differnt way maybe.
It's not like all advice has to be taken. Just sort thru it all and use what you feel is best for your situation.

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

I generally try not to post anything a public message board that I wouldn't be comfortable sharing with someone while in line at WalMart. Basically, if it's too personal to share in PUBLIC then I try not to.

I have posted personal problems before and have received harsh and hateful responses. By the same token I have received support from people that I would have never suspected. I have had my feelings hurt by some posts, but when I get over that I can realize that those posters may not have been hurtful intentionally--they just stated their opinion very bluntly and too the point. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, but in essence was actually good or helpful advice.

If it something intensely private/personal and I need to vent I will post on a private board that I'm a member of. The members of that board are relatively of a same mindset and have very similar lifestyles/opinions.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Usually when I post a topic I am looking for more ideas, better ones, ways I haven't thought about things. There are so many diverse people here that there is always someone who has been through a similar problem or knows someone who has, like my Dad's cancer or DS staying back in kindergarten.

When I posted about DS, I was so upset and thought how terrible it was that he was being retained. After reading the responses, I felt like it was really what needed to be done and wasn't a punishment for him, or my fault he didn't do well enough. It gave me some teacher opinions and some from other Moms who's child has been there and I really needed that information to make the best decision (I hope).

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

It is hard to explain but I read all of your opinions and ideas and they are so wise and supportive. It can be so lonely being a stay-at-home mom and I know that many people who have jobs outside of home are lonely and feel unheard as well. It is good to know that we all have a friendly place to come to and visit and hear other people's points of view.

[quote=marilynk;2811611]I generally try not to post anything a public message board that I wouldn't be comfortable sharing with someone while in line at WalMart. Basically, if it's too personal to share in PUBLIC then I try not to.QUOTE]


Yes I totally agree!!!!

honest advice and opinions from different perspectives. i dont mind if someone disagrees with me. initially it can be like "ouch!" but since there are very few people here i find to be genuinely mean or unintelligent there is usually something worthwhile in everyone's post or opinion. i dont always agree with it but i like seeing the range of options and opinions, esp b/c i can be sort of one track minded when i get going and it often helps to step back and look from a wider perspective.

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rhapsody112@gmail.com

I am a very private person,I would never share my business with people I don't know

I accept whatever is tossed my way.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

It is a tad bit different than the line at Walmart -- unless you were visiting a Walmart that is 3 hours away from where you actually live ... especially if you live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, yikes!!! Here at MyCoupons, we are somewhat anonymous especially if we choose to keep our Profile somewhat empty!

What is the difference between very PUBLIC message board and PUBLIC message board (without the very!)?

Things that make me say hmmmmmmm.

I don't share very personal issues or problems in a public forum...a private one maybe but not public unless I'm out of options. I do often try to give advise or help if I can. I fell like most people just want either advise that supports the decision that they have already made in their minds or maybe they are simply at a loss. Some need sympathy while others just need to get it off their chest and share with someone.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

You are right!

a VERY public board is one like MyCoupons or FatWallet--accessed by lots of different people and is pretty well known. A VERY public board also usually caters to a different clientele that just might happen to stumble upon the off-topic or "cafe" forum. It's more a wild-card situation because you don't know who is going to be stumbling in to read or offer their opinion. A "public" message board (w/o the very) is one that while open to the general public is not one that is well known, does not necessarily cater to the deal hunters, thus has a smaller number of participants and rarely has new members--and any new members are usually invited by a current member. Kind of like the difference between posting your want ad in the Local newspaper vs posting in your church bulletin. KWIM?

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Opinions, advice, support and reality checks. and it always helps to have someome come along who has been there done that.

Advice and a different perspective. If someone tells me I'm being stupid, I probably needed to hear it, and if I disagree with what I'm told, at least it helps me know my own mind. I don't start topics often, but when I have I've been pretty impressed with the information I've been given, and the ideas people have brought up that I hadn't ever thought of.

I usually state what I'm looking for in my posts, whether it's feedback on something, or "Can you BELIEVE this story" or whatever. I use a very private forum elsewhere to post more private stuff

I just want your opinion, the good, bad and ugly...I wouldn't post if I didn't.

I don't think I post personal issues, just like to keep that private, I guess.

When I start a thread,I am usually wanting to start a discussion to get people thinking. I like to see what makes people tick, I guess you could say. Where a person is coming from, and to see things in a different light.

When I respond to a post, I try to offer the best advice I can, and sometimes it's just not what a person wants to hear, but, I do try to be tactful and considerate.

I belonged to a message board where everyone was overly friendly, which is not a "bad" thing, but, you never really see the other side of something when everyone posts the same thing. And, if you even tried to "discuss" something, someone would get there panties in a wad, and so forth. It was a VERY small board, kind of like living in a small town. You know how that goes.

I think The Cafe is a good place to discuss things, and I don't think anyone here is out to be deliberately mean.

JMTCW.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.