Seems this is the thing to do in his class/grade this year. The boys are taking the girls to a movie. DS promised his girfriend of about a month he would take her to see Pirates. I was hoping the plans would not materialize, but today is the day. The plans were made between the two of them; I am a little suprised the parents didn't want to talk to me. I just sat down with my son to go over the game plan. I told him I will have to go the movie with them but I will sit 'elsewhere'. He agrees to this. I was not sure about the ticket situation, but he says he wants to pay for her ticket.
My son is an extremely young looking 12 yr old, and very short. I have seen the girl, and she is very mature looking,and statuesque! This is his third 'girlfriend' and he falls very hard for the girls. I wish he didn't seem so focused on a relationship at his age, but it seems alot of the kids in his grade are like this. I am so not looking forward to this. I am not even a Pirates fan, and the movie is 3 hours long. Wish I could talk them into Shrek.......

I am all for going against the grain on this one. Yikes! Dating at 12, what are they going to be doing at 14? I have a 10 year old boy and this sounds young to me.

Make sure to keep your eyes open during the entire movie (a friend of mine fell asleep!) and sit behind them so you don't have to crane your neck. Good Luck!

Rebecca

Dating at such an early age might be the "thing to do" now but that doesn't mean you have to do what everyone else is doing. Dating at 12, even if you are chaperoning, is much too young.

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What kind of moron lets her 12 yr old daughter go on a "date" with no phone call or contact whatsoever? How does she know you're not a weirdo?(not that your you are,but gheez) I agree that 12 is way to young to "date" But not to young to go with a group(chaperoned of course) Poor girl though I wonder what she's gonna be like at 15 or 16 with no supervision or caring where she is or who she's with? So sad!

I woulda tried for Shrek too lol, My son been on "dates" too, him and a girl liked each other since 3rd grade and in 5th & 6th grade the girl was a good part of our family as was her parents. they trusted us completely with their little girl we went to movies, went to dinner, caching events and all sorts of things think of more as an outing not a date

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I am 30 now and can remember things like this when I was in 7th & 8th grade. I don't think it is too much to worry about, IMO. I think it is very sweet for the OP's son to want to pay for his friends ticket. Gosh, I can remember in the 5th and 6th grade, kids would wear each others ID bracelets and that meant you were "going together". LOL.

OP have fun at the movie, it is actually one that I would love to see.

OP, have fun chaperoning!
I hear Pirates 3 is really good.

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Well have fun, and be glad not to be going to see Shrek 3 I didnt really like it that much and neither did my husband (it felt like it was 3hrs). I dont really think that going on a chaperoned date at 12 is that big a deal, I went on my first chaperoned date when I was 10 (fifth grade), and believe me I was not doing anything worse by the time that I was 14!

I'm old fashioned here, but I would not let my 13 year old daughter go on a date. I just wonder if they are starting to date at the age of 12, what are they doing at 16? I know that girls today are more worldly and many are probably secretly meeting boys, without their parents knowledge. I understand that they are "boy crazy" at this age, but I'm not sure about alone time with a boy.

Op, it's nice of you to chaperone, but I can't believe the girl's mom didn't even talk to you about this.

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Yikes 12???? I think that is way to young to even think about dating. I would never approve of that at such a young age.

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I'm agreeing with several others here. Twelve is much too young to be going on a date. A chaperoned group activity would be different. You're the adult, you call the shots. Just because he wants to doesn't mean you have to approve.
DD just turned 14 and still does group activities. No desire whatsoever to have a boyfriend. At DD's recent birthday party, she invited 2 girls and 3 boys. Only 1 girl could make it so it was 2 girls and 3 boys. Took them to Cici's for pizza, DH, DS and I sat at a seperate table. Then to the movies to see Shrek the 3rd on their own. Back to the house for ice cream cake and fun. Nothing but good, clean fun and no worries about boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.

Well I see nothing wrong with them going to the movies being chaperoned but by damned if I am going to allow my 12 yr old daughter or son when he gets that age say he is going on a date!! I have let my daughter go skating with the neighbor boy because they are "bestfriends" and think nothing of it. There is a police officer there for security.

I agree going with a group of friends is not that bad either, but there are restrictions. My DD wanted me to take her to the mall and drop her off and let her walk around with her friend that is a year older than her and the girl's boyfriend that was 14 or 15yrs old My response to that was NO WAY!!! I didn't know if they were planning on sneaking around and bringing my daughter a boy to walk with too.


I agree with scananalyst, just because that seems to be the thing to do and everyone else is doing it doesn't mean I have to let my kids do it. Sometimes you have to do what you think is best.

ROFL!! I'm not even going to touch this one.

Holly

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My parents chaperoned me a date when I was 12 years old.....AND trust me, you don't want to know what was done during this "chaperoned" date.....I cringe thinking about it. I will post the details if necessary.

Trust me when I say this.....I have been there, I know and I can tell you that no child of mine is dating at 12 no matter who is supervising.....You just can't imagine what was lost as a result of that date

My heart is breaking with this thread....

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I had boyfriends at 12 yrs old and I'm 40 now so it's not new. That's when it starts-7th and 8th grade. Lots of handholding and talking. Going to movies, dances and fast food restaurants.

Sounds like fun. Hope you enjoy the movie.

I have 3 girls and they were/are not allowed to date until they are 16. I only have an 11 year old at home, the other two are now adults. I always let them go on group outings or to meet a group of other kids somewhere when they were about 14 or so, but nowadays I don't know that I would even consider that. I used to let the older two be dropped off at the mall with their friends (we didn't live here, another area) but the gangs are so bad at the malls these days that I wouldn't do that either. Even if I was chaperoning a "date" I wouldn't allow it because that would mean I approve of it. Maybe this is standard in some areas but no kids in DD's grade or her friends date and they are all in the 11/12 year old range and we know every single kid in 5th and 6th grade at her school and know most of the parents. There is just no way i would let my 12 year old DD go on a date and I can't believe they would even let her go with you without even knowing who you are. I feel sorry for this girl.

Maybe her parents don't need to talk to you because they are not aware of what she's doing? If I were you, I'd make it a point to talk to the girl's parents. No use in putting your butt on the line if something was to happen--only to discover that they were totally unaware of the situation.

I have an 11 YO DS and I canNOT imagine chaperoning him on a date! Thank goodness he's more interested in video games and books than girls at the moment.

I am back- that was torture for me. Not how I wanted to spend my afternoon.
I met the girl's mother . I went to the door with DS. We recognized each other immediately from school functions, church, around town etc. We both acknowledged that this was an ackward situation, and we both had ambivalent feelings about it. She also told me that she found our address when her daughter told her about the movie, then called a good friend of hers who is also my friend, neighbor and co-worker, and gave them the third degree about us. She says that if she didn't get such a glowing report from someone she trusted, she would not have allowed it. I told her I felt better knowing that too, since I was worried she hadn't talked to me first. I am sure she is not a negligent, uncaring mother.
The kids barely spoke to each other at all. I tried breaking the ice a little, asking about school things and summer plans. My poor DS seemed shell shocked sitting next to her. She is a very pretty girl. I let them pick their seats at t the movies- and sat a few rows behind them. Believe me, there was no contact made- I doubt that they talked even.
The ride home was nearly as silent and ackward. I kept quiet as well. She seemed friendly, but nearly as shy as my DS. After dropping her off my DS was smiling ear to ear. He thinks it went great. He is still smiling, happy as a clam.
The experience showed me that they are not ready for this type of activity. It was very strained and weird and just not necessary. Was it harmful or immoral or an error in judgement?- not to me. I will talk to DS over the next few days about relationships at his age, about being happy and fulfilled in himself and all the other things I always talk to him about. It was a learning experience for the both of us. Date was the word I chose and seems to have provoked alot of strong reaction - he told me it was not a date. It was 'going to a good movie with a person that I like that is a girl' It was that simple to him and he feels happy about it.

This doesn't surprise me at all

I mean, come on, young kids are literally having sex in classrooms for heaven's sake, so it's no stretch to realize that they are having sex in darkened movie theaters.

It sounds like it went well and that he has a good attitude. I'm glad that meeting her mother turned out well, too.

I was so afraid to post that, because I thought I would be judged. Although things did happen at that moment in time, I did not grow up and continue to be sexually active....I mean, that although something was lost at that time, A lesson was learned. I was and am still at 20+ years later horrified at that experience. I am always embarassed when the subject of the loss of virginity is brought up. That experience was undescribable at best. BUT I guess I could have grown up to be a sl*t or have gotten pregnant as a result of that one experience, so I guess there is something to be grateful, but still...it is a memory that I will live with my entire life. I know that from my experience, 12 year olds do NOT need to 'date'. I am not judging the original poster, but stating my personal experience and perspective as sickening as it may be.

Thank you for not judging me, by that post.

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thanks for posting what happened and I think the talk you plan on having is perfect. you might actually be helping him "off the hook"!

She probably didnt tell her parents that she was going with a boy. I did it all the time when I was younger. Told my mom that I was meeting my freinds in the show. I did finally get caught.

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Too young for me! What's the hurry???? I wouldn't let my now 22 year old "date" at 12. He had a "girlfriend" in junior high but I wouldn't let them go anywhere together. They could talk on the phone, etc... Luckily her parents were the same way. I think he was at least 14, maybe older, before he went on a date. He dated a girl for almost two years in 10th and 11th grade and her older married sister took them out on their first movie dates. Otherwise he was at her house a lot and I had contact with her parents to make sure they weren't there alone. Sometimes they were at my house. In fact when they were 16 I started to let them watch a movie in his room-don't freak out-and made them keep the door cracked open, etc... and I checked on them ALOT. It was ok. They were so funny. Once they decided to squeak the bed and of course I came running in and they cracked up. They were good kids. I'd rather have them at my house, even in his room with the door cracked open, than out driving around in a car!!! My 16 year old son is busy dating his computer and his guitar which is fine with me!! lol Easier to chaperone!

LOL, sounds like you had a ton of fun. it also sounds like a sweet, innocent thing. Good job mailady.

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