This has been a rough year for him, he is not doing well in Kindergarten and the teacher is recommending that he repeat it. I don't totally agree, but am going with her suggestion. It is not because of the acedemics, he's in the top of the class as far as that goes, it's because of the not paying attention, goofing off, not doing his work unless she's right on him about it, and not being independent enough.

My problem is a common one really, DS is picking up bad habits from other kids. I think some of the problems he is having in Kindergarten are coming from the influence of kids in his class. A lot of them have older siblings (I know a few of them because we all are at baseball together) and they are just way out of control with the language, the attitude, etc. He never had a problem in his preschool, but I can see a big change in his attitude and the further into the school year, the worse it's getting.

I know he's always going to have people that aren't going to be the best influence, but how to I battle the attitude at home? How can I stop it from effecting his school year? He's a smart kid, but with all of these distractions, he doesn't have much of a chance? I'm not saying he's innocent, believe me, but he has changed so much this year.

He is really sad that he doesn't get to go to the 1st grade, he was almost crying about it.

What's your experience? Any advice?

Please be gentle on me.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

To me, the reasons for keeping him back just don't add up to enough for me to be that concerned. It could be the teacher that isn't keeping control of the classroom. Not trying to put it all the teacher but you did say this was not an issue in preschool. Since he is doing so well academically despite the not paying attention etc. then I would send him off to 1st grade. Check with the Principal and see what he/she has to say about the st grade teachers. Explain how your son learns and see if the Principal can find the right fit for his 1st grade teacher. Holding a child back is not always the right answer. Some children mature so much in the summer between kinder and 1st.

My own situation: My son did horrible in Kinder-partly because of switching schools halfway through the year and partially due to him being stubborn. His teacher came close to saying he was stupid. I could see that was what she wanted to say she just didn't come right out and say it. His speech teacher raved about him. What a bright kid he is, have I tested him to see if he is gifted etc. She was shocked at our teacher meeting at the comments made by his Kinder twacher. She told me straight out. Don't listen to her. They must not be a good fit and to see the Principal. I did. We got a great 1st grade teacher and he is doing excellent.


The thing to remember is that YOU know your kid. The teacher only knows a part of him. Go with what your gut feels and remember that he can be held back in 1st if it is really necessary. I would think your son would be more trouble if he had to repeat kinder since he learned everything the 1st time round.

Good Luck!

I had a whole post about the keeping him back and I still am not convinced, but have sort of made peace with the fact that it would be easier on him. I am still really afraid it;s the wrong decision though, very scared about that.

He does have problems with the new computer teacher though (she was removed from her 4th grade class because of all of the complaints from the parents, so I don't really take what she says with too much worth), the same as with the homeroom teacher, the not paying attention, being disruptive, etc. so it's not only her.

SHe says that he does well because she helps him all of the time. Now when he has homework I DO NOT help him one bit, he is done before I know he even started. I am afraid he'll be bored, but was told he can go to other classes if he is more advance in reading or math.

It is such a mess and I feel like I am blaming everyone, it's the other kids influence, it's the bad computer teacher, or the homerook teacher (my other post was more about her, which I won't get into). If he wasn't doing well, it would be easy to make the decision. ANd if he didn't almost cry at me the other day for making him to Kindergarten again, it broke my heart, truely I feel horrible.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I was sort of hoping he would get better kids next year!

I was fine with it, everyone is really supporting it, but when he was so upset, I felt awful. I don't know why he's so upset, he loves the teacher we're going to try to get and I can almost pick who I DON'T want him with since I know a few of the kids, so we do already have an upper hand. I think he thinks he won't see his friends? I;m not sure, it's hard for him to get his feelings out and to have the words to explain things. Which just gave me a great idea! He loves to tell stories, so maybe I'll ask him to tell me a story about a boy who goes to Kindergarten again!

He does love being a big helper and would really thrive on knowing everything already (and hopefully not get into trouble being bored). I do want him to have it a little easy, he was starting to not like school because "it's hard" and we're only in Kindergarten! YIKES!

Maybe he would be more of a leader and less of a follower (not influenced by the other kids so much?) if he was older and more experienced? That could be a big incentive for me too.

SO many questions and no easy answers.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Just my take on being the oldest child in class.......
DS has always been an excellent student academically. Behavior not the best but tolerable. Behavior issues aren't issues anymore since he went to middle school 2 yrs. ago. Sometimes it is the environment a child is in that contributes to their behavior.
When he was in elementary K-4, there was a boy that all the teachers liked. Perfect behavior, you know Stepford child type behavior. Used to chap my hide. That is until I found out the boy was almost a year older than my child. Quite a difference in age. And, no, the boy had never been held back. Mom had purposely held him back.

As far as learning things from older kids, that is one of the hardest things about sending them off to school... They begin disliking foods that they once loved, they get teased about things that they wear, etc. It really is very common.

All that I can suggest is to expose him to some older boys who ARE good role models. My boys have some older cousins who are really mature and very nice teenage boys. We just got home from spending a few days with them and my boys are acting just like them... It makes me proud and happy (I'm always complimenting their mothers on how well they raised their boys!)!

Hopefully, you have some boys like that to be great role models for your son.

It is too bad that not all Mommies are as devoted and concerned as you are! Carrie worded her post above very well and I agree with what she said. Also adding, once he starts his summer break, he'll not think about school as much... the vacation will be good for all of you to come to terms with the decision.

I want to also respond to the 'boredom' issue...

Kindergarten and First Grade are NOT boring!!! Those are the funnest grades in school. My kids both wish that they were back in Kinder or First.

By the way, my youngest also repeated Kindergarten.

You guys really made me feel a lot better! Thank you so much!

We only have about 15 more days of school left and I can't wait for summer. I will deprogram him from all of the bad habits he's picked up and we can all relax. I think once he gets to know his new class he will be fine too, it'll be the initial first week of school that'll be hard and the anxiety of getting there.

A lot of moms hold their sons back around here too, my son was only 4 when he started school, he turned 5 in September. The preschool teacher said he was doing so well and there was nothing else for him to learn at preschool so I sent him to the big school.

I have a lot of teachers in the family too and they pretty much support the teacher, if that's what she thinks is best, then usually it is. I am going to ask her opinion about the couple of bad influences, maybe she sees that too and just can't tell me?

Thanks for all of the encouraging words.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I'm having a hard time understanding.
They recommend holding a child back because of behavior issues? This is not because of academics?

If it's the other children that you feel may be affecting his behavior, can you change schools? Maybe find a school with smaller class size(if possible) . He may be getting lost in the shuffle.

Could he be acting out to fit in with the other kids? How is his confidence level?

Well that is odd. He does not require help at home but gets help with his work at school. Maybe he's distracted at school but not at home?

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This is how we found out my DD was Attention Deficit. She was exhibiting all these things at school but not at home. It's early to start diagnosing ADD/ADHD but keep it in the back of your mind as he gets older. Sometimes those little signs throughout the years will point to something directly later on.

Here is some more info:
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - WebMD

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This space for rent

He only has 12 kids in his class, but I know of 2 in particular who are just wild and joke around constantly. He loves it when she puts particians up at their desk, I think it helps him concentrate and then there are no distractions. At home i have him sit at the counter when I am making dinner and do his work, but before I can turn around to offer help usually he's done, unless it's math and then sometimes he needs a little encouragement.

The boys in his preschool class were not like these boys, and that's why I think he did so much better there. I don't have a choice of schools, unless I pay to send him somewhere and we can't afford that.

I do think he has the teacher right where he wants her, he's good at that. In the beginning of the year he wouldn't get his own backpack ready, so she did it for him every day, then she complained that he didn't do it. I told her to just stop doing it, he'd do it if she didn't do it for him and he did. Maybe she babies him too much?

And yes it's the maturity level that he's being held back for, not acedemics. My thought was, what if he's exactly the same next year, then holding him back did nothing except waste a year.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Honestly, I can't see holding back for maturity. There should be a checklist of skills that a student is expected to know before moving on to 1st grade. If he's mastered those skills, then move him on. I wouldn't see it as wasting a year. I'd see it as 'I tried, it didn't work' and you can still hold him back in 1st grade. Holding back is commonly done in K-2nd.

If it is for behavioral isssues then i really don't see why he should have to repeat kindergarten again. Boys mature so much slower then girls do and i think over the summer he will probably mature and be ready for first grade. If it was for academic reasons then yes i could see him repeating, but simply for behavior i don't think its necessary. I wouldn't be so quick to judge that this child has adhd i really don't like tossing those labels on children as it will effect them getting jobs later in life. Just because a child acts a certain way does not mean the child has adhd or add.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

Ahhh, okay. 12 is a really good size for a class, especially for children at that age.

Yes, I totally understand on that.

I can relate. My son's teacher would complain how he would just get up from his desk and walk around the class. We told her to tell him to sit down! We also talked to him and let him know it was not acceptable behavior. Problem solved.

It is possible that he relishes the attention his teacher gave him.

That would be my concern as well.

This was my thought too. I was hesitant to suggest it because sometimes it's a quick diagnosis to bad behavior. I know that's what his teacher attempted to do to my son.
OP, have you had him tested in order to rule that out?

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I didnt read all the replys, but I do have one comment: In my state, WI the cut off for kindergarten is Sept.1, so he wouldn't have even been able to start kind. here, down the road it might be easier on him if you did hold him back...he would be older and not the youngest in the class....What is the cut off in your state???

Just something to think about. Holding a child back because of behavior or maturity is more common than you might think. I know logically that if they know everything, then why should they be held back? While they know the material academically, they will not be able to handle the next grade behaviorwise and will be able to learn the new material. It is better to hold a child back at a younger grade than it is later on. A younger child is able to adapt better to the "stigma" and there is less social pressure on them. Just giving you something to think about from maybe a different point of view.

As a teacher and former sp. ed teacher I would have your son tested. As far as retention, if you son is 5 and in kindergarten going on to grade 1 as you would like, he will be 17 as a senior in h.s. If he is retained and starts grade 12 as an 18 yr. old he can legally quit without your permission. If your son is older and you retin him do you logically think you can get a 19 yr. old young man to go back to high school? I highly doubt it. Many peo0ple do not look at the age a child will be in h.s. when they talk about retaining. I would look at testing and envoking a discipline plan with his teacher to change his behavior. If to boys are "wild" then 10 others behave. Shame on the teacher! Develop a reward system to change his behavior. If need be...email me for suggestions. I am against retention unless a child was not ready for K to begin with.

Ok, first things first...stop blaming your son's behavior on other kids. Unless you intend to home school him, he is going to run into a lot of "demons" during his school years. Trust me, I am a first grade teacher and I have seen my share.

I would not hold him back in kindergarten for behavior/maturity issues alone. Repeating kindergarten (especially if he is academically proficient in the necessary areas) will only further increase his distraction, time off task, etc. He will get bored. Having said that, I think it is extremely unfortunate that a couple of kids make learning more difficult for others. Some kids don't have any trouble dealing with the circumstances around them, while others really struggle with it.

I'd rather see a child held back in first grade. That's when the deficits become much clearer both academically and behaviorally. The transition from kindergarten to first grade is a huge one.

I'm not blaming them, it's a fact of life, you get influenced by the people around you.


What I was asking, how do I battle what he learns from the kids at school, in Kindergarten where he has no idea of how to deal with these things yet? How can I teach him to concentrate on his work and ignore the other kids in the class? What can I do to help him be more successful?

The cut off date here is October 31 I think. He turned 5 on September 17, so he was 4 for the first 3 weeks of school.


We did the story thing today and it worked great, he was talking about it and he wasn't upset. He told me about a boy in first grade and I said I thought it was supposed to be about a boy who was in Kindergarten again and he said , yes he already did that, now he's in 1st grade.

I think I will give it a rest for a while and let him enjoy the rest of the year.

They do hold a lot of kids back, even another school in the next town over where my Aunt works, so it's not as uncommon as it was when I was in school and yes he is young, but bright I think.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

My son started school when he was 4 also(he turned 5 in October). Our cut off is the first day of school(Aug 8th this coming year). He did super. All year his teacher bragged on him. She had all the younger kids in her class(the ones that turned 5 after school started but be Dec 31st). Luckily she had an experienced teachers aid with her. She was a new teacher with 23 students(3 of which didn't even speak English). Anyway, all year she had 4 kids that worked with the TA because they were so far ahead of the other students. My son was one of the 4. Imagine my surprise when at the end of the year she wants to hold my son back. She passed only 1 student on to 1st grade(a girl). She gave me so many different excuses: he is young, needs to mature(he had NEVER been in trouble for anything), didn't think he could handle going all day, he is tops in his class and right now that is where he needs to be(he used to have to be the BEST at everything-had to win everything, had to be the smartest). That is the one that blew me away. I felt like having him repeat was only going to make him a bigger ego maniac. There was no way he would ever learn it is ok not to be the best and you are not always going to be the best but just do your best. I had him in summer school program that year for Kinder to 1st grade kids but mentioned nothing about him repeating to the teacher. The last day she told me he was going to do great in 1st grade so I told her what was happening. SHe was shocked. She taught 1st grade and said he was more than ready and told me to talk to his principal. The principal said she couldn't go against the teachers recommendation but they could evaluate him for 2 weeks when school starts and move him up if he needed to be. Luckily I had him on the waiting list at one of our local charter schools(excellent school with great references from friends). He did 1 day of Kindergarten and then the charter school called to test him that very same day. He tested into their 1st grade and never returned to public school again. I struggled everyday with that decision until I got his first report card. He just completed 5th grade and has been on the high honor roll all 4qtrs every year since he started at this school(which is 95% and up). He is the youngest in his class but not the smallest so he keeps up in sports also. It is like one of the other posters said "you know your child". DO what you think is best and like has been said already, you can have him held back in 1st grade if he needs to be. I have niece who repeated 1st grade(but they did recommend her being held back in K but my sis said no) and today she is a struggling to graduate(altho this year she has battled thyroid cancer and missed a ton of school). She will eventually graduate but she will be 19 when she does(but as long as she does it I don't care how old she is).

You should have some of the kids that he will have in his class next year over for a play date. This will help in the transition. Maybe he will be the one who influences the other kids now b/c he is older instead of the other way around.

Rebecca

Excellent advice... Mommy knows best.

Just because a child is one of the youngest in class doesn't mean they have to be the follower. They can also be the leader. In fact, the younger ones are sometimes the spunkiest because they don't want to be taken advantage of.

He does know a few of the kids that are starting next year so hopefully he'll get someone in his class that he's already friends with. He does like to be a "big helper" and help others, which I pointed out to him, he already knows things at school none of the new kids will know, so he can help them out next year. Any sort of plus I can find about the whole experience I am going to play up.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I think you are making a big mistake.

He is a boy, and he is only acting like one.

Why does the world expect our boys to be good little zombies now, but leaders of our families, churches and countries, tomorrow? Makes no sense.

He is only being a 5 year old boy, let him be a boy and go on to first grade, don't let them punish your son for being and learning about who he is! ALL little boys are distracted easily-it's a fact of life. Short of you pumping him full of medicine (which I am totally against) you will not probably ever be able to control his level of distractions. I can't even control my husband's at times! haha. But seriously, move on, don't make the same mistake I did and believe that your son is any different from any other young boy out there. He is not. If anything he sounds smarter than most!

While I would have concerns over the school wanting to hold my child back because of behavior, I do feel taking a laissez-faire, 'boys will be boys' attitude is dangerous. We ALL need to learn how to behave in a structured setting. We also have to keep in mind that one boy does not comprise the entire class; in other words his disruption affects the learning of all people in the classroom. You can't excuse that saying 'he is just acting like a boy'.
I don't feel following rules, doing work when he is told, and not goofing off is acting like a zombie. It's IMO acting like a person that knows there is a time and place for everything and realizing there are consequences to troublesome behavior.
You also don't need to pump a child full of medicine to get him to act right. I should know, I have three boys and they have never been given medicine to do what they are expected or supposed to do.

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As far as the bad influences of other children, there's not much you can do about it at school. My DS just finished first grade in public school and it was a real eye-opener for me (he went to a very small, private kindergarten at our church and it was a world of difference from 1st grade).

What you can do is help your son make friends with children who are good influences, well behaved, respectful, disciplined, etc. Make a point to get to know the parents and invite these children to your house, arrange play dates with these families, meet at the park, etc., anything you can to encourage a healthy friendship between the children. It would be great if these children also attended the same school as your DS. While they may not be in the same class next year, they may be on the playground together or ride the same bus and can socialize at that time (as well as outside of school if you can arrange it).

As far as holding back your DS, I would think long and hard about it based on what the teacher is saying, especially since you say your DS is very high academically. Go with your gut instinct. I'm going to guess that your child is one of the youngest in the class -- his behavior sounds typical and I wouldn't necessarily attribute it to picking up bad habits of other children. It may have something to do with the teacher and the way she is with the class. If your child is at the top of the class academically he will probably be bored repeating kindergarten which will likely lead to more behavior problems.

Sarah.....mom to Jason & Devin

We had our conference today and the teacher could not stop saying what a smart boy DS is, so that made me feel better. She did say that he had a meltdown today and wanted to go home though. He is SO ready for summer and so am I, I never thought Kindergarten was so tough.

I found something else out, there are 12 kids in his class and of those 12, 4 are repeating Kindergarten and 2 are repeats from last year. Doesn't that sound like a lot!? Half of the class? SHe said one of the parents was fighting her all of the way about it, I wish I knew who it was, just to see what happens with them if they do send their kid ahead.

We discussed which of the other teachers would be better for him next year and how to deal with the emotions that he's having about it.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

AMulquin,
But what you are forgetting is that he is only 5.. he is 5, is 5 is 5.

I am not sure of flippers background with this boy, but unless he was in a controlled setting for most of his infant life (meaning like always in church, in preschool, etc) I believe it is being overly demanding and controlling to expect a child of that age to just react immediately when the "time to work and sit still" sign gets lit.
To expect a child, even WITH a structured history, of knowing what it means to get to work when they are told and not be possibly distracted for the duration , to me is expecting WAY to much of these small minds.

They are only 5. I don't know what more to say. Honestly, I think the teachers that she is dealing with are too controlling and have too high of expectations for the students in her class. Just the indication that she has so many kids held back should be a red flag right there.

I would fight this teacher all of the way, also. Kids of this age (esp boys) will get off task. It is the ones that are in charge(whether teachers, parents, et al) that are responsible to get them back on track. To expect them to be that way automatically and stay that way, to me is expecting too much. It sounds as if the OP's boy does get on track, but gets distracted in the interim, and the teacher wants to hold him back or make the OP feel as if there is something "wrong" with him because of this.

Send your boy ahead to 1st grade (it sounds as if you might?) and don't let people make you feel bad over dirty hands, muddy clothing or the many butterflies that distract these precious little ones!!! It's all good! If you get a teacher that thinks differently, ask them if they have any boys (or kids for that matter)!

ohhgodd,
No I did not forget that he is 5.
But that was not the premise of your initial point. The implication was ALL boys are distracted and can't be expected to behave unless they are medicated zombies.

OP already said her child was in preschool. That, I am sure, offered him opportunity to learn how to act and to know what was expected while in class.

Overly demanding and controlling is expecting a 5 year old to know Calculus and made to recite the Constitution word for word or else not being allowed to eat. Sitting in class, doing work when you are supposed to and not continuously goofing off is not how I would define the terms.

Do I think there are times kids can and DO get distracted on occasion? Absolutely. Do I think they should be 'punished' by repeating the grade level? No way. But continual misbehavior and not being on task should IMO not be excused on the basis that ALL boys act like this because I don't feel that's a fact nor should it be a consideration.

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The teacher has all the younger kids, right? That's why so many are held back. We have a young 5's program where there is a whole classroom of kids who repeat Kindergarten. I would rather my child be ahead and bored than behind and feel stupid.

Rebecca

[quote=flipper113;2814807]I'm not blaming them, it's a fact of life, you get influenced by the people around you.

It is a challenge at this age, but you must get him to understand that while other children can influence him, he alone is responsible for and will pay the consequences for his behavior.
Maybe I missed it somewhere- this is a big thread and I thought i viewed it all, what is his Dad's take onthis situation?

I think to hold him back is a huge mistake. If he's there w/ academics, how distracted do you think he's going to get when he's doing material he already excels at? First grade is more structured and maybe he just needs that structure. I have 2 that just finished k and 1st grades and can't imagine keeping my son back for that reason.

My DS has always been the youngest or second to youngest in his class. He is now going into 7th grade. He has always made mostly A's with a few B's. Picks up on material very easily. I can't even begin to imagine having held him back because of a maturity issue. Yes, I'll admit, DS is not the most mature in his class. However, he's never been behind or felt stupid. From the OP's description, her DS is doing wonderful in academics. Rest assured, maturity will come.
My biggest concern would be boredom going back over material that the child didn't have trouble learning the first time around. If things don't progress as expected in 1st, then hold him back. I would at least give the child a chance.

I'm curious, the posters that think the boy should be held back. Would you be saying the same thing if the student was a girl??

In our town, and in the region in general, a student - boy or girl - of this age would not have been able to attend kindergarten at age 4 or 1st grade at age 5. There are no exceptions. Some parents choose to hold back those who turned 5 in August to give a little more development time and, yes, especially boys.


cj/ - mom of a boy with a 9/9 birthday who started K at age 5 years 52 weeks old and all is well

Nobody has addressed the notion that perhaps this child is not developmentally ready to "sit still, pay attention, etc. etc." I am a first grade teacher. Tomorrow is my last day of school. I have kids who seem to be born ready for school (boys included). I have other kids (boys and girls) who are not quite there yet. I have one boy who is smart, works very slowly, off task, goofy, etc. His mother and I have worked very closely to better his school behavior and he has made progress. Never have I suggested he be held back. On what grounds? Ok, maybe he is not as serious or conscientious as some other students, but he just isn't ready to be there yet. There are kids in my class that have been riding two wheel bikes since they are 4; there are others who are still terrified of the idea. They are not all the same. That's the hardest thing about teaching kids of this age. I have kids that read at the 3rd grade level and kids that read at the 1st grade level. It makes my job (I have 19 kids--can't imagine how glorious it would be to only have 12), very difficult at times because my job is to meet the needs of all of my students.

I think this kindergarten teacher wants robots--makes her job much easier! I would not hold him back in kindergarten, especially if he is academically doing well. You want to see miserable behavior--have a student who is bored. I would send him on to first grade with a totally open mind. His behavior next year may interfere with his learning. That can be a big problem. On the other hand, he may do just fine. Keep an open mind as next year progresses.

I understand this, rules are rules. We're not talking about going against the rules here.

Hmmm.....my point was not about breaking the rules but that many school districts have taken the choice the OP is wrestling with out of the hands of the parent and teachers. And sort of to say that there are lots of boys and girls at this age that are not going into 1st grade, but starting kindergarten.

cj/

sorry, can't help you. My children did not have any problems adapting in Kindergarten. They excelled, loved it. Had wonderful teachers, and continue to have wonderful teachers for my children.

Do what your head and your heart tell you is best for your child.

Well, I don't feel it's fighting. I know I was expressing my opinion based on what is posted within this thread. I don't think I am typing in an angry or hostile tone and IMO neither has anyone else. I think we all have concerns for OPs situation and what she is going through. If we did not care, I don't think we'd post.

But flipper113, if you see it as fighting on my part, I can definitely say that it is not meant to be. I sincerely hope all works out, whatever you ultimately decide. I also hope your son has a relaxing and joyful summer.

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Dont go through life,
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Real eyes...realize...real lies.

Quoted from flipper's first post...

She started this post by asking for help on a completely different topic. She didn't ask for help on the retention decision (we discussed that one a couple of months ago and it sounds as though a decision was already reached -- as it should be by this time in the schoolyear -- plus, the child has already been told and is learning to accept the decision)

As I read her first post, it seems to me that she asked for help on how to handle it when your child starts to pick up bad habits from other kids.

Maybe I am putting words in her mouth. If so, I apologize. But that is how I read it (and re-read it).

That's not how I read the first post.
Yes the questions were asked about influences and distractions. But it was also noted that he was sad about not going to first grade, to the point of near tears. Were we not supposed to comment on that?

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Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

Yes. I would trust the teacher's opinion since she is the professional and I would adjust accordingly. I was young for my grade and felt behind the other students. I still to this day am a follower. My sister with a November bday is a leader.

The whole "my kid misbehaves b/c he is so ahead of the students that he is bored" defense is overused by people whose kids have behavioral issues. How about..."my child is not disciplined at home so he/she doesn't know how to cope at school".

Rebecca

Is OP concerned with the direction that the thread has taken? Or is this a bystander concern?

Here's on-subject input.

how to I battle the attitude at home? Discipline 101: Set the ground rules for at home behavior and enforce them. Discussion around family's behavior expectations and how they might differ from other family's or classrom.

How can I stop it from effecting his school year? I assume this school year is nearly over and the question is no longer relevant to the current year. For next, year, holding hm back may help to give him ore confidence in himself and ability to just say no to the bad influences. It will also give Mom more time to build skills and a strategy for dealing with these kind of issues. Perhaps look at getting the boy placed in a classroom with an experienced teacher that has a good reputation for being able to handle the classroom. Also, discuss concerns with the teacher early on in the next school year so that he/she can be proactive and the issues are not allowed to reach a concern level.

He is really sad that he doesn't get to go to the 1st grade, he was almost crying about it. What's your experience? Any advice? I thnk there's been a lot of good advice here. The only thing that I would add is that you need to get behind the decision and not wobble in his presense (not saying you are...just saying you shouldn't). He will pick up on this and try to use it to his advantage. My personal experience is that most children will do so.

cj/