I donate a lot of food , HBA, clothing each month to various organizations in our town. Lately there has been a lot of publicity about such organizations, looking for donations, etc, so it's really got me to thinking...... do you think things like this help people, or actually hurt them???

I can see someone needing a little help here and there, but,for some of these people, it seems to be a way of life.

I try to donate to organizations that I feel help people who really CAN'T get ahead, or even break even, such as the handicapped or elderly.

How do you feel about this?? Do you think people rely on handouts too much??? Do we give too much??

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I don't think the VAST majority of people rely on hand outs/assistance. I am sure there are those who CHOOSE to rely on hand outs and assistance. I do not think that too much is given--as evidenced by the people still living far, far below the poverty line, people who are homeless and children in foster care.

And this is not directly at you OP, but if a person can't give freely then maybe they shouldn't give. If what you are donating is causing you to feel resentment in your heart then you aren't doing it for the right reasons.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I've seen alot of people abuse 'the system', so we stopped donating to organizations like that. We donate time and money to the American Cancer Soceity, used items to Goodwill, and we also donate money to church.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

good topic aia!

I have mixed feelings about it being helpful or hurtful.

Freecycle is a great example for this line of thought. The concept is GREAT!! (keep junk =aka another man's treasure= from landfills)...however, many have come to RELY on the concept of generosity that Freecycle started...and have now started asking for things that would NEVER be put into the trash!

I do know of one real-life freeloader.

The man is working, single, with 5 dogs (not little ones...Great Danes, and Akitas)....

We needed help moving into our new house, so, with a combination of people, we "paid" them with everything that was in my deep freezer stockpile. (note: my deep freezer is a coffin type and 7 feet long--so really big--and it was TAPED SHUT).

Well I divided it all up evenly--meats, milk, cheese, breakfast stuff, etc---this guy showed up... took his share of food to his van and then came back to move ONE item!!!

I was stunned! Now he is whining that he has no money to feed his dogs and that he is out of food--since I coupon, could I get him things.

I don't think so!!! It has really made me pause a few times thinking about him and his "neediness" where he expects things to be given to him for whatever insane reason is popping through his head at the moment.

I say if you can't afford to feed yourself or your animals---get rid of the animals. Because if you can't feed your animals (basic need), you certainly can't afford proper healthcare for those animals either!

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SPJRNTGADL!

I've seen alot of people abuse 'the system', so we stopped donating to organizations like that. We donate time and money to the American Cancer Soceity, used items to Goodwill, and we also donate money to church.


Not sure what you church does with the money they collect. Most churches in our area will help people with rent, mortgage, food, heating, medicial, etc. Just this week my friend learned that her mil and sil went to a local church to pay half of their rent. The mil just inherted $35,000 in December and already had her hand out. Just makes us sick. So I do agree a lot of people abuse the system just in this case the church was a victim too. All I can do when I donate is hope that the biggest percentage of people need our help. As far as food for myself I have a neighbor that works hard. Holds down two jobs at times. My extra food goes to her because I know it is appreciated and she can use the help. Sad but true some people work harder to figure out how to get items free than it would take to work for them.

I agree with you...I give from the heart and what that person(s) choose to do with it is up to them

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

This probablyisnt a good time for me to answer this question but I will.

Right now I am feeling really jaded. The church that I have been attending lately had taken in a single mom and her 2 kids after Katrina. They put them up in the house that is suppose to be where the pastor lives, but our pastor at the time, did not need the home.

So.. about two years ago... they moved in. Since then they have been given free housing, food, xmas presents for the girls, oil to heat the home and much more. Now, it is time for us to pick a new pastor and the pastor needs a place to live.

It has been brought up to this woman that it is past time that she finds somewhere to live. She informed the church that she needs a 3 bedroom house and cant pay more than 200$ a month for it!! Well, I need that too!!! But, it isnt going to happen.

I believe that it is going to come down to having to evict this woman to get the house back and who knows how long that will take and how much it will cost the church. Sadly, this will make most of the church members think twice before doing anything like this again.

I think that in everything there are users and people who sincerely want a hand "up" not a hand out.

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

I, also, have seen a lot of abuse with handouts. I used to work for WIC and Head Start and was appalled at what people did to beat the system. If they spent half that effort working....

With that said, there are a lot of good, working citizens using those programs, so don't think I'm slamming them.

I agree that we should give with a happy heart. I scrutinize my choices as well as I can. I no longer donate to angel trees, or Toys for Tots. I give a lot to the women's abuse center, and to people I know personally. I also prefer to give anonymously, when possible.

Before I donated, I did extensive research to be sure what I gave provided the most "relief". When I give, I do so freely, but, after getting educated about where my donation is going.

Now, I will say this....shortly after Hurricane Katrina hit, I was made aware of a woman who relocated her family here and had NOTHING. She had 3 or 4 kids, and they had slept in their vehicle. This woman's neighbor was a member of our local FreeCycle group, and someone who a friend of mine knew, and trusted. Well, she asked on FreeCycle for help for this woman. No problem.....my friend, Sandy, and I loaded up grocery bags with what we had, and drove it directly over there. OMG, I was a little shocked when I got there. The street was in the middle of the slums. I'm sorry, but, it's just a fact. But, in the driveway sat a big old new(er) Ford Expedition. One of the kids came out to help with all the food, household items, etc. We brought the rest in ourselves. On the couch sat a very able-looking young man. Hmmm, middle of the day, not working, but, OK, who knows, maybe he's a neighbor, has the day off, whatever, didn't really want to think about it. Clearly these people NEEDED the items we brought. Several weeks later I got an email from Sandy "updating" me on the family we helped. The mother was a scammer, and had been arrested for welfare fraud, and the Father was in the hospital, got shot during a drug deal. I was still glad we brought what we did, since the children were innocent, and clearly were in need of all the things we brought.

Sheeeww, long story. Ok, now, what I want to know is this....for the people who truly need the help, are we actually helping them, or perpetuating their "neediness"???

I have a woman I give food and whatever all else to, each month, to help her stretch her food and grocery budget. She is elderly and on SS and $14 foodstamps. This is thru a local agency here. I also give her coupons, and letters alerting her to the deals, hoping she will take advantage of them and help herself as well.

Do they require people on public aid to go to a budgeting class or anything like that???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

When DH lost his job in Ohio in 2003, we had no choice but to apply for food stamps.

It was required that I get a job or take classes...I offered to teach classes to new moms on food stamps, to stretch their budgets and was told that was NOT something they would even consider.

(I found out later that the state gets kickbacks for welfare recipients, so they really don't want them to learn money management...)

It's a two sided card huh?

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SPJRNTGADL!

"you aren't doing it for the right reasons"

I bet the recipient doesn't care why the person gave, just so they have food/shelter/clothes etc. that they need.

Rebecca

I think that it depends on where you donate to. if you are donating to a local food bank, then normally a person has to go through an agency to be referred there to get items, usually Social Services, Salvation Army, the local Mental Health Center. You do have to prove income requirements and you can only use it once every 90 days (here in our area). My DH is a counselor in the mental health system, most of his clients are on disablity, living on $400-600 a month. Think about it, even if you lived in subsidized housing, say your rent was $50 a month and say you got $20-30 a month in food stamps for a single person. You do still have to pay your full utilities, you still have to buy more groceries, you still have to pay for bus fair or pay gas money to a friend to get to the grocery store, doctors appointments, you most likey will have to buy money orders to pay your bills, requiring another trip to a store or post office, then you still have to pay for all your paper items, HBA items and possibly medication, here in OK you still have to pay a $2.00 co-pay for meds if you have the welfare health insurance. How many of us could live on $600 a month? There maybe agencies that don't ask alot of questions, but take the need for granted when it is asked, I can think of churches right off hand, I see those as being more abused than a public agency. But then again, they also help those who can only going to food back every 90 days, these people supplement with food from churches, it is the only way they live. I have actually sent in food with my DH for his clients, because he couldn't get a referral because of the 90 day limit at the food bank and my DH can write referrals to the food bank, but they don't bend the rules for anyone. Yes, there are those that take advantage, but do you want to risk someone not eating because someone else took advantage of a church at some point? The other position is that someone may look like they don't need help, nice house, nice cars, etc, but this person may have just lost their job, or maybe the mom had to take off work due to an illness with a child, or a car accident that has left someone with long term injuries. There are so many scenarios that we don't know what is really going on in those peoples lives, but there could just be temporary extenuating circumstances, the situation may not be what it looks like. I try not to pass judgement when I don't know the whole story, because just seeing someone paying in the grocery then getting into a nice SUV doesn't mean a thing, they could have borrowed that car to go to the grocery store.

I also have mixed feelings so many people abuse it & those who need it cant get it. I donate to the angel tree every year to the kids. I have donated only a few times to other things. I know thier are alot of people who abuse I just have come to think they are mental so they must need it too.

What really burns me is we were talking today about how much cigs cost now $5 bucks a pack I guess my MIL is here from out of town & smokes I see so many of those people smoking but yet they get angel tree & foodstamps I am sure glad they got thier priorities straight!!! This includes my very own ex he always has cigs but had to take his own kids to get free shoes at the xmas shoe parties they have here it makes me really very sad the priorities are so screwed the poor kids ya know??

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mom of 3 greats girls

Well, here's one. And yes, I am a little (ok a lot!) bitter about this one. We have always donated to our local children's hospital, and there are so many fundraisers throughout the year to support the facility. Ok, so my kid gets sick. And we have HUGE medical bills. And while we have good insurance, we are up to our eyeballs in hospital debt. And because we have worked hard to have assets, we don't qualify for any assistance to pay our bills-even though our insurance company has probably paid at least 250K this year toward his care. So, we have been forced to liquidate all saving accts. that we have, and have even decided to sell our dream home so that if we are ever put in a position like this again, that we won't sink. BUT, for those on welfare, they walk away debt free-their slates are just wiped clean. So, WHERE exactly is all that $$ that is donated to the hospital going? My son has gotten top-rate care, and I am most appreciative, but I will never contribute another dime to the general hospital fund-I don't feel that it is disbursed fairly at all. I have several groups that I will gladly contribute to in the future-if I ever get some $$......