My Dad is in poor shape, is has cancer and has been sick for a long time. He is so far behind in his bills he's getting foreclosure notices and the never ending calls. He went to the hospital today, he has pneumonia and so he will be in for a while.

I stopped and took his foot high stack of bills to see what exactly we are dealing with:

$25,000 credit cards
$55,000 left on his morgage including fees to catch him up and get out of foreclosure
$18,000 car loan
$8000 IRS which he makes $200 monthly payments on
and a few other little things


He only gets about $1000 in Social Security that we just signed him up for, he hasn't even gotten his first check. He can't work anymore, it's physically impossible.


I wish I could help him out, but we can't afford to pay any of his bills. I tried calling the creditors, but no one will talk to me (understandable, but annoying).

How about bankrupcy? WIll he lose everything? House? Car?

DOes anyone have any suggestions?


PS he also has no health insurance and is under Charity care at the hospital, so no hospital bills piling up.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I would first get him to give you Power of Attorney so you can speak with his creditors. I think he can make it specific for just that, it doesn't have to be a general one, where you can do other things on his behalf.

Now, as far as bankruptcy goes, each state is different. In some states, you can lose your house. I think (not for sure) NJ is one of the states that you keep your house??? I know I was looking some stuff up on line about this, and it is a very interesting subject. Anyway, I would start with an on-line google search of "Bankruptcy Laws in NJ", and go from there.

I know this is a very stressful time, so don't forget to take a minute to relax each day.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Like the above poster stated, you should be able to talk with the creditors with a power of attorney, the hospital can probably draw one up for free and have it notorized for free (when my mom was in the hospital, the social worker did this). I'm sorry I can be of no help with the bankruptcy. I will keep your dad and your family in my thought and prayers.

The bankruptcy laws have changed since we had to go through it. I think they're stricter now on credit card debt. Is there any chance he could refinance the house or sell the house for enough money to clear his debts? $1000 a month isn't going to be enough to live on if that is the only income source in the house. You could also try a debt consolidation service.

Best of luck to you.

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I'm in a constant search for the next great freebie or deal.

I hate to ask this, but it's a rather key thing. Is his cancer considered terminal, or is he expected to pull through with the proper care and treatment?

We really don't know much about the cancer yet, they are still testing. He can't work though and things were slow for him before this all started so he got behind and never was well enough to start working when things picked up (he's a land surveyor so the real estate slow down has pretty much cut his income in half).

We tried a home equity loan to combine everything and the payments went from like $1600 to around $600 or $700, but he was denied. I was told is was because he was under foreclosure already. Which really stinks, because you rae trying to do the right thing and pay these things off and you can't, they won't give him another penny.

I was thinking of getting the loan for him, but if he ends up with leins from Dr's or other creditors I don't know about, or if he lives to a ripe old age and charges $20000 more I could end up with a big loan and nothing to show for it, kwim?

My Dad is NOT a responsible person when it comes to bills and he has a gambling problem. I don't want to pay his bills for him so he can go to Atlantic City. Great combination huh?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Just make sure if the hospital does drawn one up that it specifically includes finances as something you would have POA over. Some places just do healthcare POA and the creditors will send it right back to you with a note saying that it cannot be used for financial matters. I used to work POA's for a bankcard company and this will help speed things up. In the meantime, you can have your father call the credit card companies and add you as an Authorized Non-User, they will not issue you a card, it will not show up on your credit report, and you will not be responsible for the credit card debt, it will allow you to call in and deal with them while you are waiting for your power of attorney to go through.

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I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow.

And neither do the "rest of us"

What a sad situation he has gotten himself into.

Declaring bankruptcy because of catastrophic illnesses, death in the family, divorce, hurricane, etc. is one thing. Bankruptcy because of credit card debt due to irresponsibility and gambling is a whole other story.

Wow! Nothing like kicking the OP's Dad while he is down.

For the IRS you'll need to get him to sign an POA just for them Form 2848? Cant really remember the form number right now. You may be able to get them to put him in what is called Currently not collectible

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I have OCCD
Obsessive-Compulsive Coupon Disorder!!!

Wait a minute -- that's not fair -- how did I kick him while he's down? I said that it was a sad situation.

The OP was the one who said this: My Dad is NOT a responsible person when it comes to bills and he has a gambling problem. I don't want to pay his bills for him so he can go to Atlantic City.

Do YOU want to pay his bills for him so he can go to Atlantic City

She asked if anyone had ever declared bankruptcy. She did not ask for your personal opinion of her Father's situation. You implied that he should not be able to declare bankruptcy because of credit card debt and past gambling habits.

Bankruptcy is a federal program, not a state one, so the laws don't vary state to state. He will NOT lose his home but file soon before he is foreclosed on. Sounds like he has enough to worry about without financial hanging over his head. Do NOT take the debt on as your own. Most bankruptcy lawyers will give a free consult. Take care.

I did a google search and found the following link. It seems to explain a lot of the changes in Bankruptcy Laws, since Oct. 2005

The new bankruptcy law and you - Oct. 17, 2005

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

We found out today that he has inoperable lung cancer as well as a tumor in his abdomin and in his neck (still not sure about this one). Chemo is the plan, and see how he does with that.

He has always been able to pay his bills, even with the gambling problem. The man could have tons of money, but pisses it all away. The debt is not from the gambling, it's from not being able to work over the last couple of months and then over the winter business slowed down to nothing (it's the same for other engineers in the area, some have had to take home equity loans out to pay their employees). SOme of his credit card debt was from him quarterly IRS payments I think too.

He's one of those people who when he gets $20 in his pocket, he'll go buy some Quick picks and some scratch offs and then have nothing for food so he'd charge it, usually he was able to pay for it but he can't keep up on SS alone now (we just signed him up for that he didn't even get his first check yet). If he put money away he would not be in the predicament, but he never saved a penny, his stock portfolio had exactly $1 in it. He has never been a saver.

At this point I am just trying to have a comfortable place for him for as long as he has.

Most of this debt is from this January on, nothing is from when he worked last year, sorry if I was unclear about that. And no I don't want to pay for it either. If i give him money for his bills if he has an extra $20, it'll go to lottery, that would be wasting MY money and I don't do lottery.


PS I have to call the lawyer tomorrow, so hopefully he can give some good advice about this whole mess.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I've heard of something called a reverse mortgage where an elderly person actually withdraws from the equity in their home. I know nothing about them, but it might be something to look into...

cj/