Ok it seems that I now have confirmation that the Grandchild due in November doesnt even exist. Seems the girl is telling my idiot disowned son she is pregnant and due in November, but has yet to show him or anyone the positive pregnancy test or go for any medical care, she as is my son are both mentally ill and need kids like a moose needs a hat rack. Anyhow she confided in one of her friends who is like a daughter to my DH and myself that she isnt pregnant and supposedly cant get pregnant and on her Myspace she says she doesnt want kids. She also ran into my sons former guardian and he asked her how the pregnancy was going and she blurted out what I'm not pregnant who old you that, so she has confirmed it to several people now.

How would you handle this, my son and I dont talk I am still waiting a year later for an apology from him for him assaulting me while high on Meth. But DH talks to him and I dont want him to keep being with this girl who he is not good for and she is not good for him because he feels he has to kwim?

Would you have your DH tell said son that the GF is lying and pray that son doesnt get violent with her as he has done in the past with all woma in his life including her? Or would you let it ride until no baby shows up in November? Son has serious problems and if he were to get away from her who as DH refers to her as not the brightest bulb in the box who keeps telling son that 3 doctors and the Military which dishonrably discharged him with a diagnosis of bi-polar and schitzo affective tendencies are wrong and he doesnt need to be on meds because she feels they are just doing it to appeas all the adults in his life. Yeah right.

So advice please or just let it go?

I wasnt looking forward to this Grandchild as I knew that we more than likely would have to raise it and I cant so it was going to be taken away at birth.

My other two GRandchildren are from Girls I have mentored sicne they were 13 yrs old and I am their only mother and I am proud to be considered their Mom and Grammie to their kids.

TIA Guys

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

Sweetie--let it go.

I can only imagine how hard it is for you regarding your son, but you aren't going to change him. Telling him that it's all a lie will more likely than not do one of two things: 1) make him angry at you and apparently, he's already been abusive to you physically 2) make him angry at her and he may assault her. If I honestly thought telling him would make a difference I would recommend it. If you tell him that she's not pregnant, what's to stop her from saying she was but had a miscarriage? Just one more thing for him to be angry at you about. (((HUGS)))

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I know this is a tough call for you...my oldest son is mildly autistic and I know you feel responsible for him even though he is grown and is violent with you.I know you know his bipolar schizophrenia is what determines his behavior towards you and you of course still love him. I think its best that his father tell him this news since he reacts better with him. I will pray for you and your family.

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Hug Your Child Today!

Won't he know soon enough that she is not pregnant without either one of you telling him?

I am sorry for what you have gone through. I hope that things get easier as he matures (and gets back on those meds).

I agree with marilynk. You need to step back and let this run its course.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

I am sorry for the lame advice here. but seems like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Just find the path that will lead to YOU hurting the least. Sometimes, we gotta' take care of #1.

Hey everyone I love all the advice I am getting and I appreciate all points of view. DH is going to talk to the Pastor down the street about this and we will decide what is best. I dont want the GF to get beat up again and I dont want son in jail again although thats where he is supposed to be here in VA rather than running around Topeka/Auburn KS on the loose without taking his meds, but it was his choice he made as a 18 yr old adult not ours.

I gotta take care of Number 1 like linnybop says, I have so much on my plate trying to decide what to do with our lives now that Daddy is gone and Mom is all alone in FL.

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

No advice, just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the situation.