Do you get along with your in-laws???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Yes - love them alot!

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

No...in fact, we had issues last weekend. They really don't want much to do with us. They live 15 min. away and see the kdis every couple of months. It's sad really...

Let's just say that we moved half way across the country to get away from ours. They're both alcoholics and my fil has not left the house in about 10 years (whatever that phobia is, that's what he has). We have three children and shortly before we moved, we were in a car accident on the way to see them for the Holidays. Our car was totaled and when we arrived, they were so drunk, my 3 year old was scared of them and all they wanted to do was hold my baby as they stumbled around. Our decision was made then and there and we have not seen fil since and mil one time in almost 6 years. I am always polite to them and just would rather not deal. If we ever call them, we make sure to by 10am cause anytime later they are loaded.

Needless to say that I voted NO!

My soon to be ex MIL is a very sweet woman but I have only ever talked to her on the phone. She and almost ex DH were estranged for years but I started a relationship with her - and he followed

She is in her late 70's and not in the best of health and almost ex has asked that we not tell her we are seperated as he is worried about her reaction. I don't like lying but I can deal with this one if it makes him and her happy.

M

I put no!!
she is phony and doesn't like her own son(my dh).
just talking about her makes me mad!!!!
haven't seen her in 6 months ,and she lives less than 3 miles away!!!

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By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends

My MIL died a couple years ago and not too sure about the man his mother says is his father, I don't know the whole story there, but anyway, there's no contact. We do talk to his half-sis and her dad though. I guess I have no in-laws.

No. Really too painful to talk about.

My FIL died last Nov. I didn't really like him. He was a very dishonest man but my DH loved him in spite of his downfalls. My MIL I do like. When we are alone we get along good. My DH is one of 7 kids and when they are all together I get overwhelmed. His sisters are a lot to take. I get along with a couple on a one to one basis but they overwhelm me. His 2 brothers are ok. We all live pretty nearby about 15 mile radius. DH is only really intereted in his mom and talks to her daily. He is her baby boy and I am glad he is there for her. All 7 of them are, but they do have a close relationship. As long as I am not forced to bond wtih them a lot, I am ok. He goes down in the evening when I lay down or when i am sleeping during the day and does his thing with his mom when I can't join him. It works out pretty well.

I voted yes. My mother in law was the best! I actually feel she was more motherly then my own mom. She passed away 9 years ago at the age of 46. I didnt want to vote that I dont have any because it would be like saying I never had her.


Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

My MIL & FIL drink way too much and are not very nice people. We haven't talked to them in about 17 1/2 yrs. My DS was 2 months old the last time we spoke and he is now almost 18. I've always told my DH he is more than welcome to see them, they are his parents, but my kids and I will NEVER have anything to do with them. Not a lifestyle I want arounf my kids or myself.

Jen

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Mom to Jake, Zach & Meghan
SJCC STREAKS FOOTBALL!!
CLEVELAND BROWNS FOOTBALL!

I said yes, because of many reasons. They live 1000 miles away and do not visit us often. I think in 14 years, they've been here twice. They are very different than I am-- they lead a simple farm life. But, over the years, I've learned to appreciate our differences. We just got back from visiting them-- it's the first time in 4 or 5 years we have been there, and I had a pretty good time.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

I get a long great with my inlaws.

My hubby is 15yrs older than me. So my in laws are old enough to be my grand parents. My MIL says that I am her best friend. We really get a long great,
we will go shopping out of town and do a lot of other things together.

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I voted yes, but they aren't my favorite people.

Rebecca

I absolutely LOVE my in-laws. My mother in law is wonderful - we spend Thanksgivings w/ her. My father in law and step mil are great - we spend every xmas w/ them.
It did take a while to get into a decent relationship w/ my mil, b/c it was hard for her to realize that she could like me AND his ex. Esp since his ex and I get along great. But now she's like a 2nd mom to me. And they all accepted my 12 yo as theirs from the moment we met.

we're all one big happy family, lol.

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

I voted yes we get along but only because I try to avoid her at all cost. She never really liked me for some reason, still don't know why. DH says it's because of the difference of our economic background. They are very poor and I grew up with most anything I wanted. I'm not so sure that's the reason but I can't figure anything else out. Who knows?! But, she topped the cake when she refused to come to our wedding.

Like someone else said, DH has a big family 17 siblings I simply can't take them all at one time. So I don't go to most holidays. I do go after most of them have left. It's not that we don't get along, we do but we just kinda ignore each other. She did say the nicest thing on this last Mothers Day she could have ever said to me. DH was showing her our new wedding sets and she assumed were we going to renew our vows. She said, "I will be sure to attend this wedding." So I think somewhere in there she does regreat not going. I would do anything in the world for the woman but she isn't someone I would care to be around every day, or every other day or every week... LOL

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Both of my in-laws have passed away, I loved them both, they were great in-laws!

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

I voted NO as my in-laws are really messed up. They have no contact with my children(thank goodness) except for Christmas-- which is not going to happen this this year. They are severely dysfunctional and their morals are non-existent, But yet they think that they can sit in judgment of us. We, who have paid our own way for 23 years. Bought our own house with no help from anyone, Pay our own bills, never ask for anyones help, when(and if)there's a crisis we go through it alone. But their other son is the shining star in that family. The poor thing was in jail for 5 years for felony drug convictions, Got out got married had 2 kids, Got to live in a house rent free with no bills-Then when they ruined the house by not fixing the hole in the shower wall for 3 yrs, The in-laws bought them 20 acres and a trailer, and has to help them with the day to day expenses of life. But never mind that WE are the dirt on their shoes. I never could figure that out So We do not expose ourselves or our children to that kind of atmosphere, It would be like poisoning my children with low-lifeness. Oh,and did I mention that FIL is almost 70 and smokes crack? and frequents crackwhores? EEWWWWW but yet he still thinks he is really someone special. We stay far away from these nuts

I thought of this scenario when I posted the poll, and was going to put other options, too, but, dind't want there to be too many choices, kwim???

Hmmmm, maybe I'll change the wording on the last one

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

OMG, LMAO......are we clones??? Amazing.

BTW, I voted "no" Won't get into it here, but, it has been up, down, up, down, and of course when it's "down", they have no contact with their (young) grandchildren. Heck, even when it's "up" MIL doesn't.....haven't heard from her in about 6 weeks. Way to win the Grandparent of the Year award

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Well, poo, I tried to change the wording on the poll, and I can't seem to do it, sorry

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I would love to be able to say I get along with them.......I guess now we sorta have a truce.


Helps that we live in Texas and they are in Ohio, and they had to drive long distances and hate to fly even more. My In-Laws actually tried to have me committed, and gain custody of the our kids. DH was on a 3rd tour to Korea, we had only been married for a couple years, had 2 babies, expecting 3rd and they already hated me, because I am a 2nd wife (DH was a widower) So MIL's best friend worked at the Local Mental Hospital and they had paperwork and everything ready to go.....I was supposed to go visit for the weekend, and they had people scheduled to come pick me up.....Thankfully someone going through the paperwork noticed some errors and called my doctor, who then called my mother, and then the police.....Let's just since then our relationship has been really really rocky.....We sorta called a truce since DH was seriously injured when in Iraq his last tour. More info then you probably wanted.......

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

I never met my bF's parents yet except to talk to them on the phone but we get along great. The first thing his mom asked me was "is my son still a pain in the --- and if he is I am truly sorry"LOL His dad asked me if his mother (my BF's grandma that lives with him) is getting on my nerves cause she has a habit of getting on people's nerves and when i said no i think shes sweet, he said well if she does to let him know. Then when my BF got back on the phone his dad told him not to plan a wedding with me but to elope now before i get to know his grandma better

My ex-inlaws were ok, I wont say anything bad or good about them. They are very good to my children

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Oh my! Ok for the truce. But, Honey PLEASE watch your back when your dealing with these kind of people, you never know what they will do next

We are civil, smile a lot (it is the most elegant way to show your teeth!!!), but I really don't like them. Esp. MIL - she is ignorant and very racist.

I feel so blessed after reading some the sad stories posted! Both my parents are gone, and the only family I really have left (except a brother who lives hundreds of miles from me), are my in laws. I honestly don't consider them as anything other than my *family*. They all got together last month and gave my dh and I a surprise 25th Anniversary party. They got all our friends together and we all had a wonderful time! We are a very close family and we have shared many family vacations together and also have had to deal with some sad times. I would have to count my three sister in laws as my best friends. Its not that we all haven't had our disagreements, but we always seem to work past our differences. I have such a supportive family, I cannot imagine what it would be like to have it any other way!

You mean you have these kind of fruits in your tree too? I tell hubby all the time I wish his "real" family would show up--to bad he's not adopted though, so we are still waiting Sad thing is my parents are both gone so my children do not have grandparents nor do we have the great advice from the previous generation, So we've been flying solo forever and haven't crashed yet(couple of near misses though)

I do watch my back big time......It was a big wake up call as to what people can do out of desperation....They still say that we have 6 kids because I kept getting pregnant to keep him trapped! 13 years, and they still that....oh well.

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

I voted yes. I get along with mine BUT, my mil can be overbearing at times, with that said they are taking dh and me to Hawaii in Sept...

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

Do I get along with them? To their face(s) or behind their back(s)?

Ha.

My MIL was really quite a lovely person. She was a horrible mother to my husband (she didn't have the mothering "gene") but was a wonderful MIL and grandma. She passed away unexpectedly a few years ago.

My FIL and his wife are wacky. SMIL has never had children but is THE EXPERT on child-rearing. They thrive on manipulation and treat us like we're the red-headed stepchildren of the family. (No offense to redheads OR stepchildren.) Case in point: my FIL's birthday is May 25 so he always has a big crawfish boil Memorial Day weekend. We make a point to attend as does my DH's brother and his family. This year he turned 65 so I offered to make him a cake. Spent all night baking and decorating (it was half a sheet cake) in a farm theme only to have him allow another guest's child to blow out the candles and cut it. Not the grandkids (he didn't even offer!) or himself, but this total and complete stranger's (to us) child to do the honor.

I was f'ing livid.

Anyway. I haven't been back since. And don't care if I do. Though I do hate the strained "relationship" for my children's sake.

My Inlaws are dead---never really knew my FIL as he and my MIL were never married and out of DH life forever. However, before my MIL died, she lived with DH and I for 5 years so we could help her financially. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED HER and was devastated when she died. She had returned to Mississippi from where we lived in California to visit family. Got an aneurism while there and died. I really miss her. Since my own desipicable parents divorced when I was 8 (and have not seen my sperm donor of a father since) and my uber-psycho mother is out of the picture (I left home the day I turned 18 and have never looked back since), my two kiddoes have never known grandparents (MIL died before either were born.) We have "adopted" some older friends so there is some sort of generational balance in their lives...but it is not the same.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

My MIL is a wonderful person. Shes an awesome mom and grandma. She's annoying as he**, but she is generous, kind and loving. She is very old fashioned and hates things today, so the "today bashing" gets on my nerves at times, but I am sure there are things she doesnt like about me either. We dont have a particularly close relationship because she is from Italy, and has never (in over 50 years in this country) mastered the english language. Shes too hard to understand. Shes very good to us and loves her grandchildren very much, so I voted yes.

I also loved my ex-MIL very much, she was so sweet and she loved me like a daughter.

FIL's in both instances died before I met them, but were both good family men.

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Jill
jatalamo@aol.com
Mom to Joey (8) and Gianna (6)

This is me as well...mine live so close but see my kids RARELY. My husband's family is somewhat dysfunctional, at least his immediate fam. I used to think it was just me(we are an interracial couple) but since getting close to some of his extended family, I know it has nothing to do with me. They are just nuts!

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Terri...mom to drama queen and the monkey-boy

Blessed are the parents who make their peace with spilled milk
and mud, for of such is the kingdom of childhood.

I voted no but I suppose I could have went either way my one inlaw that I have lives on the other side of the country & my kids dont even know her when she does come to town once a year she is too busy driving around my drug addicted SIL to come see my kids so they dont even know her. She dont know my kids bdays at all some years she may send one of 3 a card but that is few & far between my dh calls her to remind her & she still dont acknowledge them or on xmas

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mom of 3 greats girls

I voted yes. I get along with them, but only because I REALLY work at it!

In-laws are ok cant take mil for too long she drives oth of us nuts.


my mothers parents on the otherhand... yeah I know their called grandparents but I do not claim them or the rest of their family, they played guilt trips on my mom for years until she passed away a few years ago. Aunt had a fit that the nurses tried to keep her from the room when Mom was in a coma, she was always on mom's nerves and her blood pressure would sky rocket everytime aunt went into the room I've not since that side of the family since the funeral they never liked my dad ever. It really annoys them to no end that i call my paternal grandparents every week to make sure their ok.

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Yes. In fact, I get along better with them than my DH does He harbors a lot of resentment against them because they favored his sister (and still do) . . . They will spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on her for no reason, and all he gets for his birthday is a card and a small gift. It's crazy because he is OBVIOUSLY the better child. His sister is pretty much worthless (works very PT and lives off of her boyfriend), never graduated from HS or even bothered to get her GED, has no goals in life, and smokes *** all day long . . .

Mine was very strained for awhile. Thankfully, things are so much better now. They live right in front of us (like 500 ft) and I actually enjoy it.

My MIL died when my husband was 16, so I didn't know her, but her side of the family is pretty hateful and crazy, and we have no contact with them. My FIL is quiet, has a lovely Southern mother, and likes talking to me about electronics. Relationship with him is fine, but I really like his mum. My step-MIL is apparently some kind of saint, because she took on a widower with five kids, runs their household, and is very sweet to me. She's got a huge Filipino family, who are all friendly and cheek-kissy, and very fun at holidays. I'm from a tiny family, but really like this big one. I have two brothers-in-law, and two sisters-in-law, 13-26, who are all cool. We're trying to get the youngest one to stay with us this summer, to give her step-mum a break.

Sadly, my own mom is the difficult one.

My Dad, MIL, and FIL are all great. Supportive and kind people. I feel blessed to have them in my life.