Little History. I moved my Mother, Stepfather( he just passed away the day before Easter, my 2 nieces in my home for 2 years because I'Thought" they couldn't afford to live on their income ( they were late on rent, bills, never had money ect ect. Welll turns out their"Money Problems" was from my Mother being addicted to Pain Killers she was getting from a number of different Doctors she had ( Yes she was "Doctor Shopping for nearly 18 months " My 2 nieces knew this but didnt tell me and led me and DH to believe they couldn't afford to live on their SS.. any hoot, it took me about 6 months after they moved in to find the truth out, story shorten, My Mother OD'ED in those 2 years 9 TIMES the last one she stayed on life support for 11 days, Was told to call all family members as she wouldn't pull Thur it, I called the Red Cross to contact my 19 year old son that was over seas in the military, Any hoot, I refused to pick her up when she did recover from her YET AGAIN OD. I finally agreed to get her, but told her she had 2 weeks to move out, which they did. They lost their place in less than 6 months and was evicted for not paying rent, Yep she went right back to "Doctor shopping and getting DOZEN of Pain Killer Rx's from 4 different doc .. After they lost their place is when my Stepfather Passed away less than 2 weeks after this. Mom and Baby Niece moved in with Brother and Sister In-Law, by now she was over 3,000 dollars in the hole with the check cashing places and Brother and SIL pulled her out. A fight happen with them and my brothers DD(Baby Niece ) Over her running the roads and refusing to get a job " shes 19 years old BTW"So she was kicked out and Mom followed her soon after this. Well the car broke down and she went to where my EX husband is employed to have them fix it, Now EX I CANT STAND , I DISLIKE HIM WITH EVERYTHING IN ME !!My Mother knows all about how I was treated in the 5 years we were together. She knows his family and him treated me like DIRT !!! From the 1st year till the last 6 months I put up with so much from his family and him.from being called a lier when I thought I was dying and bleeding to death ( I HAD CANCER AND DIDNT KNOW AT THAT TIME ) To calling me HORRIBLE HORRIBLE Names in my face and EX would 'Laugh" about it.. His Father went to Jail from something very stupid he did when drunk and that didnt set with EX at all this is where all the behavior came from his Father going to Jail.Till that happen EX was a very caring, sweet loving husband. My EX was drinking every single night and he would become so mean to me, The last straw to me being treated like this was on Mother's Day when he got drunk and grabbed me, I told him when you let me go we are so DIVORCED, That happen on Sunday and less than 12 hrs later I was sitting in a lawyers office drawing Divorce papers up. I have ONLY spoken to him 1 time in the last 12 years when HE called me to tell me his Mom had died. I have not seen NOR spoken to him since. Well tonight guess who called me ?? YEP EX, My Mom and him were getting "Drunk" ( Did I forget to say my mother has been a DRUNK all my life ??? only time she didnt drink was when she moved in with me for that 2 years.I wouldn't allow her to drink in my home. He called me and my DD a LIER because he "didnt think I was who I said I was" I hung up on him and not even 2 mins later my Mother calls from same Number, SHE GOT HIM TO CALL ME WTF ??? WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS AFTER WHAT THIS MAN DID TO ME ??I'M more than PISSED !!, I cussed her out and told her to NEVER EVER CALL ME DRUNK AGAIN EVER !!,They didnt listen and called back not even 10 mins later,I didnt answer the phone this time. I cannot afford to have my number changed again this time it will cost us over 100.00 My number had to be changed due to Nieces stupid ways and a EX boyfriend of hers, It's UNLISTED and cost us nearly 4.50 a month to keep it that way. I'm going to call him in the AM,Oh did I forget to say, the House my mom is living at I'm not "Allowed" to have their number because ?????( Beats the crap out of me why ) But my-mother will call me I'm sure of it sometime Sunday. I want to just reach Thu the phone and shake the living crap out of her, WHAT NERVE to put him up to call me. What kind of Mother does this >?, He treated me like crap and she KNOWS all about it. But I guess hes her "Drinking Buddy" now and it makes it all go away. If this happen to you, what would you say to them ?? I know what I want to say, But I want to get my message over to them both I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FORM THEM AGAIN EVER... HELP !

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Gosh, I don't know what to say after all of the things you have gone through and then to have to put up that on top of it all !?!? It sounds like she has a lot of nerve and is very selfish to say the least. Do you have an answering machine or caller ID where you could screen her calls to keep from picking up on her calls? If you would happen to answer her call, I would just hang up and not say anything to her. Of course that is easier said than done. Just try to be strong and don't give in to her antics no matter what kind of guilt trip she tries to play on you. (((HUGS)))

I don't know who you have as a phone company, but ours (Verizon) will change your phone number for you at no cost if you tell them that you are recieving harassing phone calls. I don't know if other companies will do this but it might be worth a try. Good Luck (and if they will change your number I wouldnt give it to your mother or if you do you should block restricted calls so if she won't unblock her number she cant call you)

I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but have you thought about writing the Dr. Phil show or some other type of thing like that to see if he's doing an "out of control parent" episode??? Sounds like Mom needs some straight talk and/or an intervention... Or looking into Al-Anon for yourself? Given the magnitude of issues that you seem to deal with from parents to children, etc....I think you could get some help somewhere....

cj/

Sounds like you have invested enough time and effort into your mother's life and problems. Cut bait. Do not answer the phone---today, tommorrow, or any other day. You have to have caller ID, If you do not know the number, don't answer. If you do answer, by mistake, listen to the first three words- enough to know who it is and HANG UP. It won't takevery long before the calls will stop. Turn your attention to those in your life who you love and want to be helped. She is not that person. PS- Why would your mother go drinking with your Ex? DAH! Because she is a drug soused alcoholic. Cut bait.

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Lyn Clarke

I'm sorry but your mom is a druggie and a drunk this crap will go on regardless of what you say. Screen your calls and don't have any contact with her. Like Lyn said shower your love on the people that will appreciate it.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

In regards to her "doctor shopping" to get pain meds, you can call the pharmacies she frequents and let the pharmacists know what she is doing. It is illegal and the pharmacist can call the other pharmacies to verify that she is doing this and when she comes to pick up her script the pharmacist will call the police and she will be arrested. Maybe this would be a little bit of a wake up call since by law pharmacists are required to report this kind of drug abuse.

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I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow.

My heart goes out to you! Other posters have offered some good advice. I try to look at it this way: Wouldd you let a total stranger treat you this way.....then don't let a family member do it either. If the individual respects the idea of family this will not happen, if they don't you, your home, your time, and money will only continue to enable them.

Can you say "Restraining order"?

You hit the nail on the head...she has lost her mind. I am not being unkind. The most profound effect of addiction--alcohol, prescription drugs, whatever--is often the insanity it brings on. The brain is so damaged, and the cumulative effects interspersed with the current effects of whatever they are on cause behaviors so far beyond rational it is unbelievable.

She can recover, but you cannot help her at this point. Protect yourself, cause this insanity likes company!! Don't take the calls, ever, unless you know she is sober and working at amends. There is lots of help available, and AA is free and available daily, so she has choices. It's all about the drugs, and any amount of collateral damage is acceptable. I'm certain she is not thinking about the effect her contact with your ex has on you. She'd buddy up with anyone who will play the game.

If you want some help untangling yourself from this mess, get to an Al-Anon meeting. You can find listings online or call your local chapter through your phonebook.

((Hugs)) and I hope you find some peace.

Thank -You all for understanding, It hurts like hell to have to say things like this about your own Mother, But I really have HAD IT with her and the way she treats me. I didnt call today to my EX, 1 of the poster said something about caller ID, It got me to thinking, He might not remember my number he was PLASTERED last night and if I called and he has caller ID he will have my number.I cannot call my mother because the people they are staying with will not'allow" me to have their number I still don't know why this is.. I know the people and have known them for years and never called their home not 1 time in the 5 years Ive known them. But its all good, I really don't want it to start with. I didnt get to sleep till after 6:30 this morning, between the calls, being upset and my son's new meds they put him on 4 days ago ( he refused to sleep till 6;30 AM this morning ) I was beat.
Me and my oldest DD drove to our new Sam's club today for me to pick up stuff and I told her about the calls she was PO'ED that her granny did this, She also said,Mom wonder if they are staying with him and thats why we cant have the number to where they are 'suppose" to be living. Might be true, I've never thought of that 1 till she said it. I just don't understand why I'm ALWAYS her pick to do this stuff to ? My Brother could give a rats butt about her, as a matter of fact, he told his wife NOT to let her move in with them last month, He told her to let her sleep in the car. THIS IS HIS MOTHER, Not the best in the world, but still his Mother. She took his 2 girls in and raised them from the time 1 was 8 months old and the other was 3 years old.She is the ONLY one that supported the girls, between her, my Aunt and Me we are the only ones that ever brought, paid, did for them. My brother has always lived with our mom till 9 years ago when my SIL and him met and she moved here form MI. till then he lived with mom. He has never ever I swear to ya ll given her 1 dime for rent, food or bills BTW he's 43 years old.And it wasn't because he couldn't afford too he made very good money , he's a class A welder. In MI till they moved here 9 months ago, he was making 24.++ an hr there, now he's making nearly 19.00 here.
But yet I'm always her pick to do this stuff to.Never in a Million years would I ever do this to 1 of my Children, There's noway I could 'Drink""Party" with a EX of my kids esp if they did the stuff to them my EX did to me.It hurts so bad, Well you know what tho. She is the one thats losing out, Ive told her before and will keep telling her, If all you can live for is BOOZE AND DRUGS and not for your Grandchildren or Great Grandchildren then YOU are the one losing out. I guess its the same as it has always been, She stayed drunk after she got off work when I was a child,then into my adulthood, then halfway Thu her grandchildren and now shes back to drinking and doing drugs with her Great Grandchildren. What a shame, I know I can find better things to live for other than the ones that brings a person down and ruins the liefs of the love ones around them. Well, I love her but I sure as hell don't like her much and to me thats a AWFUL way to have to feel about the person that gave live to you.

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