Well I am back after a couple of weeks and I wanted to say thank you to everyone who PM'ed and wished us well in the last few weeks. Here's a quick rundown of things, I can't remember what I have posted and what I haven't.

June 12th Dad went into the hospital with pneumonia and was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (they had been doing tests and scans for weeks but this was when they actually told us what he had). He was there for 2 weeks and suffered a few strokes and we were told it had traveled to the brain. He was SO mad he was there, they actually had to restrain him a couple nights, he was violent and said he was going to have the nurses arrested.

June 27th They called me and said we are transporting him to a nursing home, they have a bed. I didn't know and I heard the day before he was too weak, but they did it anyway and I had no time to make arrangements.

June 28th a friend of his and I went to see him and we broke him out, wheeled him right out the front door AMA. They were NOT happy with us and he complained all of the way home, but he was much happier here.

June 29th he told me to ell my sister to come this weekend because he didn't think he';d make it until next weekend. ANd he was right.

July 4th, my Dad died. (boy that was hard to type, made my cry) He was really fun the first 5 days, but the last 2, he just layed in the bed and couldn't do anything, not even drink without choking. My husband and I were with him on his last breath and I hope I never have to see that again, it was the hardest thing to watch but you couldn't look away.

July 8th we had a veiwing and there were probably close to 350 people, my voice is totally gone from all of that talking.

July 9th we buried him today next to his favorite Uncle Hype.



I was doing to well until today, then it finally hit me, I have been crying off and on all day. We are so glad he was here and he had a fun last week, instead of in a nursing home or hospital, and who would have known he was that cloes to the end. We had a great last party on our deck with my sister, him, the kids and even the home health aid, it had a nice time. I miss him.

__________________
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

(((Flipper)))
I am so sorry for your loss. Your post gave am a HUGE grin and tears. So sweet. Your dad is very lucky to have you for his daughter, to break him out so he could be happy! I am all for dying at home comfortably. Your comment about being there for the last breath and not being able to look away...so so true, I was there for my grandpa. Have always been grandpa's girl and I wasn't going to not be there for him.
Take Care and try to get some rest.

I am so sorry for yoru loss! We recently went thru the death of my grandpa and I was with him when he died. I know exactly what you mean when you said "it was the hardest thing to watch but you couldn't look away".

Hugs out to you!

__________________
Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Hugs to you!! I know it's SO hard to lose a parent. Both my parents died the same year and our family was there during both deaths as they crossed over. It's something I will never ever forget. When they take that last breath, you sort of just hold your breath too.

Have you thought about writing in a journal of your feelings? I did when my mom died and then when my dad died. I wrote about everything -- from the feelings on the when they were dying, the days leading up to it, the funeral, afterwards, everything. It took me a year to finally open that journal after they died. And I was totally surprised at some of the things I wrote down that I didn't remember happening. I think when a loved one dies, you're sort of in a frame of mind that just pushes you along and you forget a lot of things. I am so glad I wrote in that journal. You could write about the days before -- how you got him out of the nursing home, the days spent with you, how they were spent. Now that it's fresh in your mind, it would be a good release for you too.

Then in a year, maybe you'll be able to open that journal and read it.

(((HUGS))) My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Just take it one day at a time. Some days will be easier than others in the near future. But you are a strong lady, eventually it will be easier.

PS: I'm glad your sister came down for the good visit.

I'm very sorry for your Loss.
I just lost the ONLY Father I had ever known the day before Easter.
Hugs to you, I'm glad you were able to have the final days with him,I'm sure this made his passing easier for him and for everyone.

BIG HUGS.

__________________
MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

I am so sorry for your loss, but so proud that you "busted him out of there" to take him home where he could go w/ dignity. I am sure he felt the love, right down to the very second of his last breath. Just please take comfort in that. He wasn't hooked up to machines, in an uncomfortable hospital bed w/ everyone bugging him every second of the day. You all are in our prayers.

I am so sorry for your loss

((((HUGS))))

__________________
MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

I know that this has been a very difficult time. You and your family have been and will continue to be in my thoughts.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but I am glad that you were able to spend some time with him in his last days. Take one day at a time, it won't always be easy, but you will make it.

Awwww, sweetie!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Papa!!

But one thing is FOR SURE - you gave him the BEST. Wherever he is right now, you can BET he is bragging his tushie off on what a fantastic daughter he has!

You and your family should be very proud of yourselves - VERY proud. You gave someone in their last days something very very precious.

When you feel like it again - grin from ear to ear at the lovely thing y'all did!

God bless

__________________

{{{{hugs to you and your family}}}}}

I am so glad you brought him to your house!!! You did good by your Dad. I am sure he is so proud of his daughter!!! I am!

((((FLIPPER))))))

I am so sorry for your loss. As hard as it must have been to be there with him during his last breath, what satisfaction you have, peace of mind, in knowing that you did all you could and made him as comfortable as possible. And how awesome that you had that last party and let your dad just have fun.

I have cold chills from reading this, flipper. I admire your spirit and ability to do the right thing, make such good decisions under the worst of circumstances.

You have my condolences and deepest sympathies.

((HUGS))

__________________
email is moserlara@yahoo.com

I'm so sorry for your loss. My great Aunt Ruth also died on July 4th this year. My dad's mom died when he was 17, and Aunt Ruth was the one who took over mothering him. He's devastated, and I understand your loss. I'm totally in awe of your strength though. Here's hoping my kids will break me out of my nursing home and care for me like you did for your father. What a love that must be..

*hugs*

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Laura

Truly sorry for your loss. But glad that you can look back on your actions in his regards and know that you did the best you could and should have.

__________________
"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

You will always miss him, but the pain will soften and the memories will become gentle and sweet.
God bless you, Dear for being a blessing to your Dad.
Dee

__________________
"Old age ain't no place for sissies."
-Bette Davis -

Flipper I just sat here and cried through your post, you brought back feelings I have held in for over a month now. I didnt get to see my Dad before he died on June1st this year , I never got to say Goodbye either as he wanted no viewing nothing he wanted cremated. My last conversation with my Dad was 2 weeks before he was scheduled for his double knee replacemnt surgery on March 13th I was yelling and begging him to fly up here for a second opinion, I tried I did my best and there is nothing anyone can say that I was a bad daughter I was on that phone every other day calling my Mom to check up on him I never expected him to die ya know, you always think your Daddy's are invincible.

Your Dad sounded just as stubborn and funny as mine and I just know your Dad and mine are up there bragging to each other about their daughters and having a bawl at the same time.

Once again I am sorry for your loss, I promise it will get better for both of us at least thats what they tell me in the bereavement group I just started going to.

__________________
~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

I am in tears reading your post as well. I remember 3 years ago when I posted about my dads passing. My heart aches for you... It does get better. My thoughts will be with your family.

__________________
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))

Holly

__________________
Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

It takes time, but the pain does fade and then happy memories will make you smile, I promise. My dad died when I was 18 (he was 49) I am now 42, and often wonder how different my life would have turned out had my dad lived. I always felt cheated. You were lucky to have him as long as you did, but I know that doesnt take the pain away. What you did breaking him out was so awesome!! You will have that to give you strength until you heal. Way to go!

__________________
Jill
jatalamo@aol.com
Mom to Joey (8) and Gianna (6)

I am so sorry for your loss!

__________________
Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

I am sorry for your loss

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

am sad to hear of the passing of your dad. sorry for the pain it causes. {{hugs}}
I am so glad you did what you did even if it was AMA!

take care,
X

I agree .

My prayers are with you and your family.

Flipper((((((( HUGS))))))))))))

__________________
★♥Caroline★♥

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost both of my parents. My mother died of breast cancer and her relatively new husband would not let us "bust her out" even though it was what she wanted. I am so glad you were able to do this for your dad. He was a lucky man to have you.

You did the right thing bringing him home where he could spend his last hours with people who loved him.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Hugs, Shirley

What made everything so hard was that just the week before he went into the hospital he was driving, working, everything! Then within 3 weeks he was gone, it felt like it happened so fast, like he didn't have cancer, like it was a car accident or something, no time to prepare even though it happened right in front of us, kwim?

We will never forget that nursing home and they were trying so hard to keep us, it really cracks me up. We just wheeled him out the front door and into the truck. That was no place for a man who was so independent to be, it broke my heart and I will never forget the look on his face. I wish I could break them all out.

__________________
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Flipper i am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I must of missed the update in your other post. Again im so sorry.

__________________
SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

Flipper...I didn't know that you were going through any of this...I'm so sorry about the loss of your Dad...I think it's great that you brought him home with you...You sound like a wonderful daughter the way you cared for your Dad...You must be mentally exhausted from the whole thing...Try to take it easy and just not do too much for awhile...It must be so hard...I haven't had to deal with this yet, but it may be down the road...Reading your post made the hairs stand up on my arms...I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...It will get better...Hugs... ~Lisa

Today is my father's birthday. He passed away nineteen years ago at the age of 65 after struggling for a year with ALS. I know just one thing. Love never dies. I have felt his love each and every day through all of this time. I'm sure your experience will be likewise. You were fortunate to have him with you. He was fortunate to have you with him. The first weeks are the hardest. Time doesn't exactly heal all wounds... but if we're very careful... it forms a scar we can live with.

May you have a blessed day today. Take care of yourself and be comforted by those around you. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts.

So sorry about your dad. What an example you set for your own children and other family members. I know it is a profound experience to care for a dying parent. It will be awhile before you are back to normal, but it will happen.