We have a dysfunctional family that lives a few doors down. They have invited my six year old over to play..... No way would I ever let her play at their house (There kids are welcome at my house). But I always find myself looking for an original excuse. What are some of your standby excuses that always work? This is a small town so I can't fake family emergencies (We go to church with the only doctor in town) or say we are going to the store which would take all of 20 minutes.

Tell them that you have a mental condition that makes you extremely anxious when your kids are away from home. Of course then you will run the risk of it being spread all over town that you are crazy. But if most people know you and this family, they won't believe it anyway!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

I always blame it on my DH. I say he does not like the kids to be out of my site. My other one is I say I love all the kids at my house there are never enough kids in my yard. A I really use these my kids have to stay at our house and all the neighbor kids come here. I love it.

Are they that dysfunctional that it would hurt your child to go there or are they just a little off? We have a house around here that is dysfunction junction and I really do feel sorry for their kids!!! Heck people may think my house is dysfunction junction because of all the kids all over the yard, driveway, garage and house. they are everywhere. When my next door neighbors come home he usually gives me the look like get them out of her and I usually will bring the kids in or have them go home.

Addison, you are so sweet... I would ONLY want all of the neighborhood kids here if could assure that they would play outside and it's just too hot during the day and evening time (cool time!) is family time.

When my kids were small and got invited somewhere for the first time, I always went with them* -- at least for a little while (and NOT at a mealtime!!!!). I also gave my kids walkie-talkies so that they could call me if they needed me (and vice versa). BUT, I also made sure that they only played for an hour or two and then I'd go get them. That is plenty of time for kids of that age to socialize.

I have always tried to make my kids 'suck it up' since they need to learn tolerance. I believe that I have taught them what they need to know about safety and so as long as we have the walkie-talkies and a time limit and I've met the parent, I feel like I have to be willing to relax and let go just a little... It is usually harder on ME then it is on them! They love having a free-for-all for a little while but are always ready to come home.

Personal story... One of my best friends growing up lived in a dysfunctional home -- we figured out how to deal with it and my parents had to take some risks with allowing us to be together but under the surface, we were very safe and made a good team. She needed me. We remain friends to this day.


I know that this advice is not really what you were looking for but it is how I have handled similar things in the past so maybe it will help a little.


*Edited to add... I brought them home with me if I had a bad gut feeling after being there myself for a little while.

In situations when I was not comfortable, I had the boys tell people that they had a really mean (or strict) mother. "My mom's mean, and she won't let me." It solved a lot of problems over the years.

At one time, an aquantanice of DS had been to the house several times. He invited DS to his house. (Long story short, but I suspected drugs and it turned out this boy was growing marijuana in his basement.) Since the boy was standing right there, it put me in a pickle. I said "OK", but only gave him 20 minutes....and we talked about it later. He never asked to go back, and the *friend* wasn't a friend very long. Whew!

I think I would be honest and say "I prefer that little Billy plays here at home, but you are welcome to come over here and play".

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

If they had pets, I would say that my child is allergic to animlas. We don't have any pets, so I guess if you did. that would not work for you.

DS was invited to a classmates house to play and I had heard about this family so I stayed the whole time he was there. He had a really nice time and I actually had fun chatting with his parents, but the house was so DIRTY, DIRTY, DIRTY (one dirty wasn't enough) that it made my skin crawl. I know I am a neat freak, so we all showered when we got home and said that next time we'll have to invite him over here and hose the kid down when he arrives. Just kidding. Point I was going for was that he was safe, he had fun and as long as it's not dangerous once in a while it's ok. DS never did ask me about how dirty it was either, and I was waiting for that.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I think 6 is too young to go over and play unsupervised by you at a neighbors house. I don't let my 6 year old do it. When asked and I don't want my 8 year old going over I say "I would rather the kids play here"

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