My 12 year old is such a fabulous son. I am now raising 4 kids on my own and he is the oldest. He is fabulous at cooking, swimming, and plays the bass clarinet. It has been pointed out that he needs some activities to draw out a masculine side to him. He is the more sensitive kind, which I love- I have quite a mix with all 4, so I love who he is, I just am looking for idea's that might be kinda inexpensive, lots of fun, and MASCULINE...... any ideas??

Maybe a weight bench? My boys enjoy using ours. It's small, just takes up a corner, and we got it for under $70 (at K-Mart awhile back).

Your a son sounds like he is doing OK.

Does he like to play ball? Or maybe go fishing?

Swimming is good for both sexes..
Music is good and something that can last a lifetime if he wants it too. I have seen elderly men playing a musical instument but they aren't still playing football or baseball.

It sounds like you are doing a good job with him!

I think that if I child is doing things that he/she enjoys, that's the most important thing! Personally, I'd be less interested in finding a "masculine" activity than I would in ensuring that he has exposure to and relationships with good male role models. Perhaps the Boy Scouts? The YMCA may offer some programs that have sliding fee schedules also.

cj/

And just WHO pointed this out to you? Unless it was a trained psychologist or psychiatrist or medical doctor, I wouldn't put much credence in their suggestion.

Is the person who pointed this out afraid that your son will "turn" gay if he pursues cooking, or music or swimming?

As long as your son is healthy, happy and well-adjusted then he's fine. He may need positive role models male and female. It would probably be helpful if he had a male in his life that he could talk to regarding male type issues. At 12 he'll be hitting puberty soon and may have questions that while you could answer, he might not feel comfortable in asking "a girl" . If you don't have any close male relatives or friends, I would suggest Big Brothers/Big Sisters, the YMCA, a church sponsored youth group, etc. simply for him to have a male he can turn to for the embarrassing stuff. I really believe that he will be fine though, without.

Ask your son what he wants to do! He's old enough to know his likes and interests. If he enjoys watching a specific sport like football or soccer he might enjoy playing the sport. If he's interested in say Nascar, you migh look into some sort of classes on auto mechanics. If he doesn't know, then that's something you can explore together. Not all boys grow up to brawny he-man types!

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Jesus love me--you he only tolerates!

I got in a hurry on my post up above but wanted to add that I imagine he is a lot like my DH was as a child and DH is such a sweetheart -- he truly makes a wonderful husband.

Our own DS's are both this way too and are truly just terrific boys (biased mom, of course!).

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with this boy. You are wise to not push too hard and let him take the lead -- which he is very capable of doing at age 12.

My thoughts exactly!!! Sounds like some ignoramous remark my FIL would make!!!

Does he like to fish??? That is fun, and good for both sexes. My DD loves to fish

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I have one of the sensitive non football/basketball/baseball team joining sons. I would tell anyone that suggested I find more manly activities for him to kiss my butt (but not so nicely).

Your son sounds like a well rounded and good kid. As long as he is being active and enjoying himself I say to ignore the advice giver.

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

What about some kind of sport like football, baseball, soccer, etc.? I know the Y has some inexpensive camps available.

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

Another mom here with a sensitive and thoughtful 8 year old boy. I agree with the others; there is nothing wrong with your son's interests . We did get DS involved in tae kwan do class once per week which runs about $50 per month. This wasn't so much for purposes of a masculine sport, but to work on confidence, balance and strength. We've seen a huge improvement in all these categories since he started last fall. Your 12 y.o. sounds like a winner to me.

Sounds like he's doing fine to me. What's a masculine activity anyway? Is he supposed to wolf-whistle at passing girls? Slug somebody?

You said it yourself, he's a fabulous son. Why mess with a great kid?

If you and he are content with his course in life, why upset the apple cart? However, if you are looking for role models, I would also suggest looking at either Big Brother as a source or perhaps some youth groups through your church. But, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a well-rounded sensitive son! Enjoy it while you can.

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"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

So many of the qualities that men dismiss as unmanly are ones that women look for in a mate. I don't mean to generalize too much, but a man who can cook, play music, and has a sensitive side sounds like good boyfriend material. Still, there's no harm in learning something new, and I wonder if the people suggesting he needs different skills have something to teach. Do you have friends who'd like to teach him a sport, or how to repair something? Those could be good skills to have.