I saw in another thread that someone considered the term "retarded" to be an valid insult - in fact the poster even mentioned that a retarded person doesn't have to be born with mental retardation, but may have more or less earned the descriptor.

I want to know what other people think about casual use of the word "retard" or "retarded."

In your region of the country (or in other areas), is this word used almost effortlessly to put someone down?

To me, it seems like there are so few kinds of people left that can be ridiculed, since our society has become very sensitive to racial slurs, gender references (i.e. - 'He was crying like a little girl'), and references to sexual preferences/orientation. This type of talk seems so taboo now. Yet random, generous use of the term "retarded" still seems to go on.

I always feel very sad for people who have relatives with retardation, and of course, for people who are mentally challenged, themselves, when the term 'retarded' is used to brand others in a name-calling way in their presence.

Am I in the minority? I really am curious as to where people stand on this.

This is NOT a question about whether or not we are too P.C. - I am actually asking if, in this particular case, whether most people think we are being P.C. enough IN THIS ONE AREA.

Thanks to anyone who can respond honestly to this question. I've wanted to ask it for a long time.

D

I don't allow my kids to say "that's retarded" or "you're retarded". Retard means to slow down...such as retard the growth of something, but, IMO, when it is used to describe someone it is derogatory.

I think it has become quite common place to use the word "retarded" when what you really want to say is "stupid". Not saying people who are mentally retarded are stupid, just saying that people use the word "retarded" a little too freely, and in the wrong way.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

In my opinion its just another word for impaired whether its mentally retarded or mentally impaired,its all the same.I use to work in a school for retarded children and the word retarded was never thought of as a "bad" word.My bf's brother is also retarded and it does not bother my bf at all when a discussion comes up about his brother and the word retarded pops up.I think he was embarrassed about it when we first met because he use to make fun of his brother to me.Funny thing is out of all his siblings ,about 8 or 9 of them,the retarded one is the ONLY one that is nice to me,talks to me and welcomes me whenever I go over there.The only reason why some people have shunned the word retarded is because of people using it as a slang "for a stupid act",etc.
As soon as any medical term becomes a slang it seems people have to invent a new medical term for the condition.

Just to clarify, I posted the bit on Carlos Mencia and the Dee dee dee song but those were not my words, nor do I condone them. I was answering a question that someone had with an explanation found on wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

cj/

the kids use the word "tard" when they are trying to put someone down. I try to discourage that as I do find it not to be kind. However, I do have a friend with a son w/ Downs Syndrome. Her little guy is such an angel. While she has definitely gone through many trials and tribulations w/ him, she is the one that bought her other son a shirt that says, "My brother rides the short bus." So, you gotta' laugh...

I despise that word.

I don't consider the word retarded an insult. Do I like to hear people say it? No- but I don't like it when calls anyone names. Just like I don't like to hear stupid or fat or ugly.

My 12 yr old is mentally handicapped. It is getting to be so hard to know what term to use these days. All this political correctness crap is totally confusing! When Katie was first born- she was developmentally disabled. Then they said she was mentally retarded- then it was mentally handicapped. I just wish they'd pick one and stick with it.

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Mom to Katie 1/95 and Sara 5/97

I agree with this statement. That said, I don't have a family member or know anyone who is mentally challenged. I have found on other boards I am on, the ones who take true offense are the ones with children who are mentally challenged (can you even call someone retarded anymore who IS mentally retarded????....) or autistic to some degree. I know growing up, the word "retarded" was used as a sub for "moron". I honestly don't think if I asked my 6 and 8 year old that they would even know what it means....they haven't heard it to my knowledge

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I agree about them always changing!

We also have a DD that is developmentally delayed
We have had many different discriptions.
developmentally disabled.
mentally retarded
mentally challanged
developmentally delayed

I don't know really what the "new "label" is!!
I am not as offended by retarded as I am by retard.

I've called people "retarded" or "retard"..but when I was a kid, THAT was the only insult we could get in without actually using a swear word. It didn't mean what it means today, it was just the thing to say..I think getting into a whole political discussion here would be a mute point. I've said it. I'm guilty. I'm sure the whole world is as well. I've also said. "that's gay" but I didn't mean to offend anyone by it..it's just another one of those slang terms that hung around after grade school.

I wanted to clarify that when someone is referring to a person who is truly retarded, I have no problem with that. I don't like to hear people say "oh, that's retarded" or "that idea was retarded". If I see someone who is retarded, or refer to them, that is what I say "Sally is retarded" or "Sally is mentally retarded".

OP, do you mean we should be saying they are mentally challenged??? or just don't use it improperly???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

The latter.

I don't have any feelings about the current or correct labels for mental retardation. I just wanted to take my own informal inventory of how the term "retard" or "retarded" is accepted as casual slang.

I'm not out looking to judge or fingerpoint- my only purpose on this thread is to find out what the mindset of many of us (covering such various regions) might be in terms of this word.

Obviously, for me this term is as horrible as the 'n' word is as a racial slur. But that is my own perspective. It's always interesting to hear everyone else's take on these things. And thanks everyone for your responses.

I work in SDC, so to me the word is offensive when used as an adjective. Working in a middle school, the term is used in very defamatory ways, as is ...gay or fag. Whenever I hear any on our 1400+ student campus, I let them know that it hurts me to hear these words used. The problem is that it has become acceptable to say and the students probably don't even know how offensive it can be. When I speak to students, I do not scold them, I just try to explain that it is hurtful and to think of how they use words.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

Very honest! I agree - there are a lot of things I said in early grades - wanted to sound as extreme as possible, without getting into trouble for swearing! LOL. And I don't walk around feeling guilty about my grade school rants, either.

I'm looking at the climate today of what is tolerated/accepted now- it is a different world than it was back then. Really no political agenda from this end (or from any posts I've read yet).

Again, thanks everyone. I like it when others here make me think, and this is something that's been on my mind.

Me too.
I actually made a post at another board I go to because the word was used as a put down and it made me feel physically ill.

My dd,who is two today, has severe brain damage from brain bleeds at birth. I hate the word being used as a put down.

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Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

well you misinterpreted Carlos Mencia's words.
He has stated that the phrase does not refer to people “who were born retarded,” but rather people “who were born, and are now retarded.” As said in his "Dee-Dee-Dee" song, "Dee-Dee-Dee doesn't mean mentally retarded,, it means stupid.


and there are plenty of stupid people to go around--like there is an orchard full of Dee Dee Dee trees, and every now and again the wind blows the wrong way and hard enough and a few Dee Dee Dee's fall off.

Would I personally use the word retard as an insult--no. Have I in the past? no. Would I use the word retarded as an insult--perhaps. Have I in the past? yep! I have also used the term "that's just gay" when describing someone's behaviors or actions. The funniest time to use that phrase is to one of my best friends who IS gay... he just giggles (lol).

Would I use the term "retard or retarded" to describe someone who is handicapped? Absolutely Not. They are handicapped-- mentally, physically or both.

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SPJRNTGADL!

Just wondering why not??? I take this to mean you would not use the term "retarded" to refer to someone who IS mentally retarded.

I think the word "retarded" has come to mean a very negative thing, like you should be ashamed if you or a loved one truly ARE "retarded". I feel the same way about the word "black" (another thread).

I would rather be told "John is mildly retarded" than "John is mentally handicapped". Being told the degree of retardation gives me a better idea of his mental capacities.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I'm apoligizing first, I'm sorry I'm so twisted

but RETARD------------ not just for retards anymore(think wheaties or something)


No seriously I don't think the word "retard" applies to the mentally challenged alone anymore. I believe that the term "mentally challenged" is the PC term for mentally challenged people. Retard was retired somewhere in the 1980's when the younger, more open thinking generations were starting to take over And this makes me think of how "retarded" people use to be in general--- They use to think deaf,or mute people were mentally challenged but they were called idiots,dummies,deaf and dumb when in reality the folks who used these terms were the true idiots. People are people, regardless of how much intelligence they have

I wouldn't use the term retard or retarded to describe someone who really is handicapped.

I would actually PREFER to be told "John is Autistic" or "John has Downs Syndrome" etc. This gives me the opportunity to learn what the symptoms are and learn about the handicap so that I can better accommodate and communicate with them.

I am not ashamed to use either word, per say, but I do think that people have overused both words and it now (like you) has such a high negative reflection, when it shouldn't...and there are times that I think all of us have become TOO PC.

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SPJRNTGADL!

Nope - no misinterpretations here. I expressed that this word and its connotations has been on my mind a long time since I despise it, and I wanted to hear what others thought when they hear it used as slang, as referenced in another post. I've gotten the responses I've been looking for.

There's no misinterpreting anything from my perspective, and I'm not interested in the Dee-Dee-Dee thing. It just led me to the question I asked.

Found this definition on Dictionary.com

re·tard /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –verb (used with object) 1.to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede. –verb (used without object) 2.to be delayed. –noun 3.a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine. 4.Slang: Disparaging. a.a mentally retarded person. b.a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard. 5.Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

Note 4b

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

It's not so much the word but the intent behind the word that matters. I can say "I am fat". Some people call me "fat" and the tone is different insulting demeaning.

Ignorance is what makes people use these words in these ways. If you say "my daughter is mentally retarded" it is a different intent than a person calling another retarded as an insult.

According to the definition "retard" can mean a stupid person. I don't agree with this. (From dictionary.com)

re·tard /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object) 2. to be delayed.
–noun 3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally retarded person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

5. Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I agree with your "intent" statement. EX: Jane is a big fat slob. While all three adjectives "big, fat, and slob" may be appropriate descriptors of Jane, the intent could be taken as insulting. I agree with you there.

I don't, however, agree that "retard" does not mean "stupid". That is a dictionary definition. How can you dispute it? I'm a little confused.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Well that's negotiable, since no one on the other thread ever said What was said was a DIRECT quote from Carlos Mencia and he stated that it is NOT someone born with retardation, it is someone who is BORN and then gets retarded. There is a huge difference. There was no inference. So, in fact you did misinterpret. In short a Dee Dee Dee is NOT a retarded person (not "doesn't have to be").

You can't make a statement that he said she said if you don't have it correct to start with.



now back to commercials.

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SPJRNTGADL!

My brother is retarded, but I choose to call him "Reality Impaired" (he comes up with some wild ideas but is very smart). A 7 year old family friend once called him a retard and he was so furious he chased him around the house! (Imagine an overweight 33 year old man chasing a scrawny little kid indoors.) Many mentally handicapped people don't know that they are handicapped. I teach my kids that the word retard or retarded is offensive so they don't use it (I hope!).

Rebecca

I have a aunt that is mentally retarded and that is one work that we do not use. I take total offense to it. My friends know that, that is not accepted around me. Until you have lived the life with them you will never undertstand it.

as a proud aunt and cousin of downs syndrome nephew and cousin. I am terribly insulted by the lack of intelligence that goes into that word usage.. why can't you just say slow? why retarted? huge no no in this house..

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I have seen people get upset at "slow" being used. I am enjoying this thread because it goes to show that anything can offend anyone....I just don't know what to say anymore

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I've gone to many special olympics.. we call them disabiliies or slow..

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I call my brother mentally retarded b/c he is. I usually say handicapped but that doesn't really describe it b/c he is fit and able. (I do not use any of these words when he is around, b/c he doesn't know he is different.) He is not slow. He knows more facts than anyone I know. No lack of intelligence here, just a sister who loves her bro but also knows that he is, in fact, mentally retarded. Why skate around it? He would flip if you called him slow! I do have issues with people who use it as an insult, however.

By the way, there is a organization called the MR/DD that my brother has been associated with. This refers to the mentally retarded/developmentally disabled population.

Rebecca

I agree, and to prove your point, every time we drive by one of those "SLOW MEN WORKING" signs, I think of "slow" people.

I have heard disabled people called differently abled.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I volunteer at a therapeutic horseback riding school.

We are encouraged to call all of our students the same thing; 'people with special needs' but if a student has mental retardation, we call it that as a description not as an insult... so that we, the volunteers and the instructor, can know what the person's limitations are and work with him/her accordingly. Similarly, we use descriptors such as: paralyzed, autistic, cerebral palsy, etc.

We have all kinds of students ranging from those with severe physical, mental, and emotional limitations and a lot in between.

I don't hear the word retard or retarded as much as I did when I was a kid...Back then, it seemed that everyone used that particular word to put someone down...whether they were mentally challenged or not. I have a brother who we say has a "learning disability"...He's always been very slow and I personally think that he may be slightly retarded, but my parents refuse to have him tested...He was tested back God knows when...the 70's perhaps...when doctor's knew less than they know now. He suffered a terrible fall down our stairs when he was four, and had some brain damage. He wasn't expected to live, but fortunately he did. Needless to say, he was never the same again. Growing up, kids used to make terrible fun of him. Pure torment. It was hell on me too because of course it hurt my feelings and I'd stick up for him and end up getting into fights. Anyway, these days, at least around where I live, when I'm down volunteering at school or when my kid's friends are over, I never hear them use the word "retarded". I do hear them say "speds" which means special ed kids...I don't like that term either...I guess because of my brother I'm overly sensitive to this...Interestingly enough though, my best friend in PA has a two year old boy with Downs...She says that he is retarded...She gets mad at her husband because he doesn't want her to use that term...But she says that he was diagnosed as being retarded...and that's what he is, so she has no problem referring to him as such...I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything... ~Lisa

I teach 3-5 yr old kids w/ various disabilities and I would be offended for anyone to call "my" kids retarded or slow. They are not slow, they have a disability. I explain it to my own children this way: not everyone's brain or body works the same way. Just like we look different on the outside, we have differences on the inside. Some children learn differently than others and some have a hard time learning anything at all. But everyone can learn. I set high expectations for my classroom kids and most will rise to the challenge.

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Terri...mom to drama queen and the monkey-boy

Blessed are the parents who make their peace with spilled milk
and mud, for of such is the kingdom of childhood.

To me the word has always meant something that was stunted so to speak. People can be emotionally retarded, mentally retarded.

A fire retardant slows the spread the fire.

I think maybe dictionary.com uses the vernacular definition. I am curious to see what the "real" dictionaries say.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

FYI dictionary.com is reliable and valid in its definitions. Dictionary.com uses Random house as a source. It also uses American Heritage, word net by Princeton, and Merriam-Webster.

As a special education teacher, I do not like to hear the word "retarded". It usually is meant to be negative.

Did you know that the song "Let's get it started" by the Black-eyed Peas is the radio edit version of Let's get retarded on their album. They changed the song because it was offensive to people and wouldn't get played at sporting events.

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Shelley
blue5203@aol.com

~Mom to Andy-11/3/05 and Ryan-7/31/08~

I heard that about the Black-Eyed Peas song. In fact, Al Gore took some real heat for using it as a theme at the democratic convention. He had no idea, and then it was too late to shy away from the song.

Now I can't even listen to it without thinking about their original message.

Yuck.