My dd is 8 yr old, she's going into 3rd grade. She thinks she's old enough to stay home alone while I run short errands. ie; picking up a pizza, run to the library or bank. I don't think she's old enough. However, she is a very intelligent girl. She doesn't open the door for anyone. She only answers the phone if the caller ID shows a familiar name. I am wondering what age your kids were when you left them home alone and for how long. THANKS.

It's been a while since my two boys were in third grade but I know I didn't leave them home alone at that age. You might think she wouldn't open the door to a stranger but there's been lots of studies done where the parents were really surprised at what they thought their kids wouldn't do but actually did (i.e., open door to strangers, stopping to talk to someone in a car, etc.) when put to the test.

I would wait a few more years.

I let my dd stay home when she turned 10 but only for a few minutes.

My DD is an A student and very responsible and independent and I didn't leave her home alone until she was 12 YO and only during the day-a few hours-not all day (though I did leave her if I just had to run out for 10 or 15 minutes alone at 11 yo). About two weeks ago was the first time that she was left home after dark alone. She babysat for her 4 YO brother while DH and I went to the movies w/another couple. So....it was 12 yo to leave home alone and 14 yo past dark. Like another poster said, she knew not to open the door for ANYONE, not to answer the phone unless it was me or her dad and she knew my cell phone number and I had it w/me the entire time I was gone.

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Each child is different and you know your child better than anyone....and you did say that you don't think she's old enough, so I think that's your answer.

I have lost my mind lately and don't remember all that I should. i don't think I left either of mine home at 8 years old however. I'm thinking more like 9-10 years old.....and then it was to run to the center of town (2 mi) for something quick and I would call from there to check on him.

There are two things to thing about: will she get into any trouble herself (by trouble I mean, use an appliance or tool and potentially get hurt or play with matches) and will she know what to do in the event of an emergency. I think those things are more likely than that a stranger wishing to do harm will come knocking on the door.

cj/

I think 8 is too young. They seem ready but just don't have the skills to make decisions they may have to make being home alone. I think my kids were about 12 and 10. Probably older than that when we left them together!! LOL But my dd was about 12 I'm sure. DS might have been older bc he just wasn't as mature.

My oldest is 8 and he will beg me to leave him home! I don't though. We have run out late at night when they're sleeping for just a few minutes though. I lock the house up tight!

I finally talked my parents into letting me stay home alone instead of going to the babysitters, when I was 12! They still took my brother over there and he was 6 or so. I don't know when I'll let him be home alone. He doesn't get into any trouble by himself if he has games to play. Put the 6 year old with him and WHOA Used to be HE was the troublemaker and she was GOOD... now they've switched but she really gets him revved up.

I think 12 is young enough. What if you had an accident and your 8 yr old was home alone?


Would they let anyone in that they DO know?? It isn't always a "stranger " that has molested kids.

Check with your local DHS and see what they say. I was dressed down by the husband of an upper level DHS employee for leaving my 13 and 11 yr. olds home. I'll agree though, 8 is too young. Even locking the house up tight doesn't mean a fire wouldn't happen. If someone noticed the situation you could be turned into DHS for endangering the welfare of a minor. Knowing what to do and actually doing it when confronted with the situation is 2 different things. I remember seeing the episode on Oprah showing parents what their kids actually did when they were home alone. Several answered the door and let strangers into the house to use the phone.

At our elementary school, the Red Cross does a program for staying home alone. It's for 3rd, 4th & 5th graders. My dds both took it in 3rd grade and we began letting them stay home alone for a few minutes at a time during the day in 3rd grade. It gradually got to be longer times. When my oldest was 11 she took the local babysitting course and started watching neighbor kids (while we were home). She's 13 now and a pro. My youngest will be 11 in September and she more often opts not to go with me for errands. She's bugging me to take the babysitting course now. They've both handled it well. When we 1st started doing it, we frequently would remind them of the rules. They've never had a problem.

Also, part of the 3rd grade curriculum is a very in depth segment of fire safety. It is about 6 weeks long and the local fire department runs it. We have to do a workbook as a family and create, write up and the child gets a grade on a very detailed fire escape plan. We had to have a place to meet in case of fire and a plan for what would happen. It was a pain to have to go through all the work, but a very worthwhile activity.

Lisa

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dressed down? what the heck does that mean?

Lisa

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Third grade is when our school does the intensive fire safety instruction and the 'Fire PALS' also goes in depth into being home alone.

I'm not sure if this is everywhere but others have posted that as well so maybe it is the grade when most schools do this sort of training nationwide?

It's an English term. Scolded, reprimanded.


dress someone down
to tell someone angrily what they have done wrong.

My 14yo is just now able to stay a short time in the house alone

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My dd will be 8yrs old in Dec. I think that she is to young, then again, my son will be 11yrs old in Oct. and he still has not stayed home alone.

We live in a rural area with a lot of migrant workers out. I don't even feel comfortable with them playing outside if they are working the workers are in the fields next to us. And we won't go in the pool if they are out unless my Husband is home also.


Edited to add that when I was 11yrs old, I was babysitting a 4yr old little girl 8hrs a day at her house. This is when I lived in Germany. (army bratt) My parents didn't think anything of it. But at that time you didn't have all the nut jobs that you do today. (at least it didn't seem to be as many nut jobs). By the way I will be 33 in Sept.

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I've left my 10 year old DS(almost 11) home for no more than 20 mins a few times. Mainly just to run for milk or a few things at the store (and the store is less than 5 minutes away). He usually just watches TV or his PS2.
It's the same age my mom started with me....first year or 2 was just short trips to the store, get gas, that kind of stuff.

I have left my 11 year old (she will be in 6th grade this fall) alone a few times. I guess I really shouldn't say she is alone, because her dad works nights, and is actually home when I leave her, but he is sleeping. It actually works out great because it gives her the experience of being *alone*, but the safety of knowing her dad is down the hall in the bedroom sleeping. She also knows my cell phone number to call me. To add extra support, her grandmother lives next door and I always let her know when I leave my daughter alone, so she is available in an emergency.
I know times have changed, but when I was 12 or 13 I was babysitting for a doctor and his wife and I would stay the entire weekend while they went away on their yacht. They lived down a dirt road and the nearest house was about a mile away. No one gave it a second thought.

Maybe the times haven't changed so much as the media has made us more aware of it? That's my humble opinion though.

When I was 12, I babysat for an entire summer, 9 hours a day, for 3 little kids that were Kindergarten age and under. No cell phone, out in the middle of nowhere but with neighbors... Went for three months without any problems other than the day-to-day stuff.


There are a lot of factors to take into consideration and some of them are your child's maturity (BIG one!), your gut-instinct about your child's readiness, the child's father's opinion, your location, and so on...

No way! They are called kids for a reason and that means they don't yet have adult judgment. Things can come up that need a more mature action then someone under 10 or 11 has. My boys are 16 and 23 and I know they were 12ish before I would even consider it and then only for a very short period of time-like a run to the mini mart or picking up carry-out food. Is it worth the risk if something happened? What's the hurry? Putting adult responsibility on a child is really unfair. Better safe than sorry has always been my motto. Just my two cents!

We JUST started letting my oldest at home. She's 13. She actually didn't want to stay home by herself up until just recently.

When I was younger, my parents left me alone all the time. They'd go out to the Moose when I was 11, 12, etc until 2 in the morning. Every Saturday night. I HATED being alone like that at night. I also stayed at home at 9 and 10 when they went to the store or something like that.

I don't think 8 is old enough to be alone. I think you need to wait a few more years.

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Years ago my aunt and uncle left their three small children in their house and went next door for a few minutes. The kids were sleeping and about 15 minutes after they left they heard screams and looked and their place was on fire. Flames shooting out the windows in the front. They managed to get the kids out, but just barely. The fire spread so quickly that had they not been next door, all would have died. I don't remember their ages at the time but probably from 3 to 8.

When my two were very small, we had a thirteen year old come once a week so we could go out for a while. We had only lived in that house for less than a year at that time. I knew the previous owners had had to move because they were on the verge of foreclosure, but never gave it another thought. One night the babysitter called and said there were men pounding on the door who said they were police, but they didn't have uniforms on. She had called the "regular" police, called us, and then barracaded herself and the kids in an upstairs bedroom. She would not answer the door to them. We rushed home to find men in unmarked cars, as well as uniformed police in front of the house. A man approached and showed ID. He apologized for terrifying the babysitter and told her she had done exactly the right thing. They were looking for the previous home owner and didn't realize the house was not their current residence.

IMO you should not leave your kids alone until they are at least 11 or 12. And if you, or they, are not comfortable at that point then wait awhile. We were lucky that our sitter had a level head on her shoulders. But not all 13 year olds are going to react with maturity in a scary situation.

No way...not at 8. I have a smart and well behaved 8 year old and nope...not going to happen. I think 10-11 is a good age, depending on the kid. Most kids start babysitting around 12 so they would need prior "alone" time to do that but I think most state laws would say leaving a child at 8 home alone is a crime. I thought I heard something about that recently....but maybe I am wrong

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Not at 8 for sure. DS is 9 1/2 but VERY absent minded. He may not be ready at 11-12 like his siblings.

We started with the older 2 at 6th grade (11 1/2) for a few minutes during the day. Just last week I let DS (13 1/2) and DD (12) babysit the little boys (7 and 9 1/2) for a few hours. (during the day, neighbors close by, cell phone handy).

I know people in our area think 9 is fine for long periods of time including getting themsleves and younger sibs ready for school! CRAZY!!! I know 2 6 year olds that come home alone! YIKES!!

Most states have laws regarding these issues. I believe my state requires a child to be 12 before being left alone.

I used to investigate child abuse and neglect. Depending on the age in your state you could be leaving yourself open of an abuse/neglect investigation. I would definately call your local Child Protective Services Office and ask if there is a certain age that is legal to leave them alone. If there is no certain age and someone reports you, a social worker will come out to do an investigation and will talk to your child alone and to you. They will ask your child such questions as what would you do in a fire? What if a stranger calls on the phone? What would you do if a police officer comes to the door? Are you scared in a thunder storm? Do you cook when your alone? You get the idea of what types questions could be asked, depending on the age, the more detailed or more questions can be asked. IF your kids do not anwer appropriately then you could have an open child welfare case of neglect. With an 8 year old it would be pretty cut and dry, now with the 12 year old with him that MIGHT be ok, depending on how they answer the questions (IF a complaint was ever made). It is almost better for the state to have a legal age, alot of states nowadays don't which leaves it up to the Social Workers interpretation of things and sometimes that is not the best thing, it's a judgement call, some over-react, some are quite reasonable, just depends on who comes out to the house to investigate.

I just went back and reread, you don't have a 12 year old that was someone else, nevermind about the 12 year old, I would never consider leaving an 8 year old alone. My DD is 11 and i don't leave her alone.

This is a tough subject but I do have an 11 almost 12 YO DD that is very mature and does stay home for about 2-3 hours a couple of times a week with my DS (8). We live way in the country with two phone lines, cell phones, neighbors, and a great dane. We have had no problems,and I still worry but I have the luxury of calling frequently to make sure everyting is fine. We have gone through the emergency lessons of where to go, what to do, no answering doors, etc. My neighbor also watches when I leave and come back so that if anyone comes down the driveway she takes notice and keeps an eye out for the kids (our hosue is a dead end down a 1/4 mi driveway). I think that it does vary, but I would and do not leave my 8 YO DS alone, ever. He is just too in his own world to take care of himself.