Ok ladies want honest opinions here. I have a friend who I ahve been friends with for 20 years. Her daughter is turning 5 this year. She is having a "beach themed" party at a perty center and a beach 1.5 hours away from where we live. She is very mad that I told her I thought that it was nuts that she expected people to drive all that way for a b day party. Now mind you, not one of the people that we hang out with or do things with lives close to this beach. This is being done at a persons "vacation/Weekend getaway".
This is for a 5 year old mind you....

Well, I have a very good friend who lives over an hour away, and we went to her kid's party in May. It was alot of fun, and we are good enough friends that I would drive that far.

If you've been friends with her for 20 years, I would think you would want to go.

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

I guess I need more details. Are the parents invited to the party also? If not, what would they do while their children were at the party? Even if they are invited, it sounds like way too much to ask. I assume she's expecting everyone to drive themselves to the beach. That seems unreasonable, as it would be expensive and time consuming. An alternate idea might be to invite a few children, and for the birthday girl's mom to pick everybody up and take them herself. Even with that, I don't know many parents who would let their children go to a party that far away with someone.

I would do this for someone that I'd been friends with for 20 years and family. And I would do it for anyone if I felt that I would enjoy the day, and I would probably enjoy a day at the beachwith or without a bday party.

cj/

ETA: My assumption is that the grown-ups would be invited to the party as well having made the drive....I would change my answer, if not.

If parents are invited and food is included, I would go...sounds fun.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Im sorry, was not clear, Parents are NOT included. Even those of us who all hang out together. THis is a kids only thing.

Definately unreasonable, so you are supposed to drive all that way just to drop your kiddo off? Then what, hang out and wait for the party to end?

No way would I drive 3 hours round trip for a 5 year old's party. That's nuts.

Okay, you are NOT being unreasonable. I wouldn't drive that far, drop my kid off and have to entertain myself for the duration of the party and then pick my kid up

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

While I wouldn't drive that far, and it DOES seem unreasonable to expect people to do so, I think your friend is probably more upset that you expressed to her that "That's nuts."

I am with you in that I think it is nuts, but I think you were wrong to express it the way you say you did.

I have found that people can have an inflated sense of their own/their family's importance when it comes to celebrations, and that it can be a sensitive issue if you criticize (even if you're right!).

I agree with you. I think it's totally unreasonable to ask parents to drive their 5 year olds basically three hours round trip for a birthday party, even if it is at the beach and especially if the parents aren't invited!! What are you supposed to do during the party? What are parents thinking these days? If a 5year old gets this kind of party at this young age, what's left to look forward to as she gets older. That sounds more like a teen type of party anyway!!

Yes... I'd not entrust my children in the ocean if I'm not around -- or at least one adult per child present. Not many 5 year olds are strong enough to swim in ocean water especially if there is any sort of undertow (and there usually is).

That poor little girl. I hope that they come up with another plan or at least tell the parents to come too.

I didnt come right out and say "You're nuts" what I said was I thought that she was kidding when she mentioned it a few months back. And was very shocked at the invitation that I recieved this weekend. She then made comments about a party that we were going to this weekend that is 40 minutes away and "OHHHH isnt tnat too far for you to drive?"

I don't think I would drive that far for a birthday party, even one that sounds like a lot of fun. An hour and a half with my kids in the car drives me nuts. LOL

Almost every party my kids are invited to parents are welcome to attend. This far away and at the beach she should request that the parents attend too. I would not want to be responsible for everyone's children.

I would give the child a gift and tell the mom that I was sorry but we could not make it. I think the mom may be disappointed by the turn out.

And therein lies my concern...well, not with the mom, with the 5 year old child. I think this came up before with an amusement park party where the parent expected partygoers to pay for the ticket. As with that one, I'd go to a reasonable effort to help a child have a nice birthday and not disappoint him/her. Part of me thinks the mom might believe that she is offering attendees a nice opportunity to come to her vacation getaway for a nice day.....good intentions, not completely thought through. I try not to ding folks who mean well!

cj/

Now, that makes a difference. That's a little unreasonable, IMO.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

If parents were invited, then I think it's not unreasonable -- in fact, it sounds like fun.

If the mom think people are going to drive 1 1/2 hours, drop of their child, hang out in the area during the party and then drive home, she's nuts.

I'd be surprised if parents weren't supposed to stay -- most 5 year old parties my kids have been invited to the parents were encouraged to stay. My oldest is 7 and this past year is pretty much the first year I've dropped DS off at a party and left. My youngest is 4 and unless I make special arrangements in advance with the party mom, I stay.

Sarah......mom to Jason & Devin