My 9 yr old DD was invited to go to her friend's cottage on a nearby lake. They planned to go to a waterpark and then spend the night at the cottage. I dropped her off at the friend's home with her swim stuff and overnight bag and a small amount of cash for some spending money. After dropping her off, I drove home thinking maybe I should have sent her with more money. Maybe enough to cover the price of the entrance to the waterpark so that she could offer to pay her way. Now I'm feeling bad. What do you guys think is the proper ettiquete for such a situation? The family is kind of affluent, two income, one a doctor... a cottage on the lake! Not that that would make a difference on manners or anything. Anyway, I would appreciate any advice. How would you have handled it? Should I offer money when they drop her off tomorrow morning? Or would that be tacky? Thanks!

I think if they invited her they most likely intended on paying her way in. I know when I invite kids to go with us I intend on paying.

I am sure they covered the expenses w/ no trouble, but defitinitely do ask when you see them, how much do you owe them...Sometimes we have been told, no trouble at all, other times we have been told, "43.52." Just be prepared and be gracious either way.

I would have done what you did. Sent spending money. I know when we invite other kids to go along anywhere with us I fully intend on paying for them entirely. I also would ask just to be on the safe side though.

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I agree with the other posters---since the invitation was made by them, they probably intended to pay for her admittance. But, I too, offer to pay when your DD comes home.

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If they don't accept your offer of money, I'd reciprocate sometime by treating their DD to a movie/dinner out or something like that.

It usually comes out pretty even over time.

Don't stress over it. I'm sure that they are having a GREAT time! and the parents are probably thinking nothing of it. That's what friends are for!

I would just hand them an envelope with some cash in it and say it is to cover the cost of your child's admission and go from there and thank them for inviting her. Most likely they won't take it but at least it looks good on your end in thier eyes, does that make sense?

I just wanted to add that I think it is cool that you sent spending money because alot of parents don't even offer to do that. I know some don't have it and that is fine but at least it shows that you aren't trying to take advantage of the situation either.

When we invite kids to go eat with us we always pay and I feel it is always nice when the parent sends money with the kids and the kids offer to pay for their own and of course we don't let them.

Thanks for all the responses everyone! I feel better about it already!
When she gets home this morning, I will offer something although I am sure they won't accept it.
Thanks!

I've found the best way to deal with these situations is when the arrangements are first made. You know, something like "Sure, that sounds great! How much will the tickets be?" 99 times out of a 100, you'll be told not to worry about it but it's good to know to avoid the fretting. Both my kids come and go with other families and vice-versa and it more or less comes out as a wash in the end.....although we do have a friend of DS1 whose family has season RedSox tickets, 3rd row behind home plate....there is really no way for us to break-even on that one, so I don't really even try....except I do send him with lots of snack money and instruct him to buy the dogs and soda or whatever for the crew....they keep inviting him, so it must be OK!

cj/

I would have asked about how the park admission would be handled. I think it is right to offer them money today to cover the waterpark, even though they will most likely decline. My DD just had a confusing incident like this. A friend of hers asked her to accompany her to 6 Flags with her family. She said they got their tickets at AAA and the cost was $28. We agreed to the day trip for DD, so she called her back and accepted. We gave DD, 15, $30 to give the parents for the ticket and $20 for food. When DD called at almost 10pm (!) to say she would be home soon, she told me that her friend's family covered all the costs for the day, ticket and food, and that they wouldn't take her money. I felt funny, thinking maybe I should have given the $ directly to the parents in the am. When they dropped her off, I went out to the car.I said that we didn't intend that our DD not to pay her way that day and that maybe they misunderstood since I did not give them the $ directly that morning. They said that they wanted DD to be their guest that day and each of their kids brought a friend. Still don't know why then price of tickets was brought up to begin with but DD and I thanked them.

Maybe the price of the tickets was brought up to let you know what a deal they got on them and that money was not necessary for reimbursement.

We just took a friend of our son's with us to a water/theme park. The normal cost of each ticket was $39.99 but we only paid $23 per ticket because we belong to a credit union that gets discount/group tickets.

Well, I did go outside with money in hand when I saw the van drive up this morning. I felt really uncomfortable though when I offered it. The mom just looked at me and "no, that's okay". Somehow I felt like maybe I offended her. I don't know. Sometimes I am just too sensative!!! Anyway, in the future I will take cj's advice. That seems like it would solve the whole problem right from the get-go. Thanks guys!

I would have sent enough money to cover the waterpark, but I would think that if the family invited your DD and didn't say anything about the cost of admission, they will be paying for her. When she gets back, maybe you could offer to reimburse them for the admission. If they refuse (or even if they don't), invite their daughter to do something fun and pay her admission.

Whenever I invite another child to do something with our family I always intend to pay for that child along with mine. When my DS has been invited by other families, they have always paid for DS, although I do give DS enough money to cover it, just in case.

Sarah.......mom to Jason & Devin

I would never assume someone is paying for your child and would have sent the money for the park.

I would have given the money to the parents when I dropped her off and if they took it, fine, if they didnt fine too. we took a friend out our daughters to the beach for a week a few yrs ago. told her parents all she needed was spending money. well, when we got to the beach, her parents had only given her 10.00. now ten dollars for a week at the beach for spending money may have been good if she was like 4-5 yrs ond but this kid was 14. she has went with us on vacation each yr ever since and that is what they always give her. some folks are just really cheap. they never go on vacation so I guess thats why they dont know that ten dollars aint much.

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