My older DS (almost 18YO) is a BIG kid (6' tall and 225lbs) and I'd like to get him to shed some of the excess for his health and overall happiness. I'm not sure how to encourage him as he doesn't really seem motivated to do so....and I don't want to harm his self image by sending negative messages. He will always be a "solid" kid...it's just in our genes.

I don't feel that his eating is too bad for a teenager. I believe the issue is more that he is so sedentary and his metabolism is slow. He is a loner so doesn't spend a lot of time being active with friends, although he definitely enjoys it when they call and invite him.

I have tried to set an example by working out regularly myself - I go to the gym at least 5 days a week and always invite him to come along, but he won't. My younger DS picked up on the example, coupled with his own desire to trim down, and lost about 15 lbs between age 11 and age 12 by combining weight lifting and cardio (running with mom).

That was longer than I planned....anyways, does anyone have suggestions for how to get him motivated. Personally, I think a girlfriend would help but I have him at an all-boys school and his options are limited.

cj/

Limit his computer, video game and TV time. Start replacing some of the junk food with healthy stuff. Or just forget to buy some of his favorite junk food when you are shopping.

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I agree that limiting his "screen" tine would help. Is there an activity he might like that he hasnt' tried? Bowling? Ultimate Frisbee (my husband loves it and I hate it LOL), weightlifting, karate.....???? Sometimes the "regular" sports we all think of: soccer, baseball, basketball, football...don't appeal to everybody but then they aren't exposed to the other sports. Lots of things have free or cheap intros to see if you like it. I know our karate dojo does a month for like $20 to see if you want to do it. I guess I am partial to karate because it teaches discipline, self control, and helps you stay active without being "too cardio"

another suggestion would be to limit caffeine if you can. I don't have soda at my house: milk,water, 100% juice or tea. Caffeine can make teens tired and lethargic (at least it did to my brother and from what I've heard, my DH)

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I think that as we move to a more progressive society we have been lead to a more sedentary lifestyle. (computer, video games,email) We really have to promote running team, walking, softball and just getting off our butts and moving as a family!! I really couldn't begin to tell you how to promote it to a older kid since I don't have one yet. I think leading by example is the best way to do it though. Maybe a family walk after dinner?? What about looking around for a local charity walk/run and you could use that as something the two of you could do together?? Let us know how it goes!!

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Vicki


TLJ Women united in Spirit!

I hear ya!! I babysit a 150 lb 2nd grader.. a 164 lb 4th grader.. Their parents feed them crap and think it's cute that nobody can beat them up??? I've been taking them to the batting cages, gymnastics through the ymca. I have a dog that they can walk at the park. I get my boys out and play baseball with them and have to chase them around.. swimming is something they love so I try to take them to do that often. With winter coming it's harder for all of us to get out and go.. This is usually when they get the biggest. I throw out all the crap that their parents bring over and replace it with good food (at least I try.. it can get pricey) if you don't lead by example and go along with him ..especially if he's shy and a loner.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Those kids are lucky to have someone like you in their life..their parents sound awful, I have never heard of a 2nd grader weighing 150Lbs???

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

Please believe me when I say I am not trying to start an argument, but most people that need to lose weight already know that they need to lose weight and having somebody remind them of it just makes them uncomfortable and resentful. Your son is almost an adult and he will not lose weight until he is ready (which may very well be interest in a girl )

If you child is a loner maybe he just does not feel comfortable going to the gym.
If you have room in your house maybe buy a weight bench or treadmill, etc for the whole family to use.
We have a weightbench here and the boys love it.

I agree with you.....and I tried to word it in a way that conveyed that. He isn't motivated and isn't ready...but I also know since I've been there myself that once you get going and start to see some results that it can really be a self esteem boost. So I was looking for fun or easy or magic ways to get that jump start....

We have a weightbench - DS2 got that for his b-day. We have a Y membership....

cj/

I don't think he is all that overweight if he is 6' and 225. My son is 16, 6'2" and slightly under 200, and there is not an ounce of fat on him.

I just want to say I hope this isn't an argumentative issue in your house because I've been through that myself. If he feels he needs to lose weight or eat healthier or firm up, he will do it when he's ready. If you are harping at him about it, it will drive a wedge between the two of you.

Cj if he likes maps/electronic gadgets try Geocaching, there's a lot that could be like a day long to a short trip sometimes there's geocaching get togethers like camping, bowling, going to the zoo and lots of stuff depending how active your area is

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This is from healthstatus.com:


According to your height of 6' 0" your ideal healthy weight is 165 pounds. Your recommended weight range is between 147 and 183 pounds.

For your 6'2" DS they say that 155 - 194 lbs is recommended.

My friend put her teenage daughter on what she called a "subliminal diet" - she just sort of made changes in the junkfood availability in the house, and bought a dog around the same time - the kids were the designated dog-walkers. The kids weren't told that there were new/different expectations. I think the overall movement was somewhat successful, but I haven't been in touch with her lately.

I agree with other posters here who say that your kid has to be on board to really make changes. However, I think that making some environmental changes could help out in the meantime.

Keep us posted!

those health sites are not always accurate. My DH is 6'4" and 225 and is body fat is so minimal...he couldn't lose 5 lbs really. His body fat ratio is lower than the average should be. He looks great At my weight (150) and at 5'3" they would say I need to lose weight yet I feel I look pretty good. If I weighed what most of these health sites wanted me too, I would be a size 2 and starving myself...no thank you! Each person has to look at their self individually. Body makeup and bone structure can change what you should weigh.

I hope you son can motivate himself if weight IS an issue. You can't do it for him. As I suggested before, look outside the box at beyond "normal" exercise...hopefully he will like it

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That sounds like a good idea to me.

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

We do geocaching as a family and it is great exercise without thinking about it. We go to places that we wouldn't normally go to and get to explore different places as well.

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I think that since your ds is 18 there is not a lot you can do. You can cook healthy meals, and try to help with portion control without him knowing. Like smaller servings of meat and rice/pasta/potato's and larger servings of veggies, salads and fruit. Also keep washed and cut up fruit and veggies in the fridge to make it easy for him to grab and snack on. I know that if I have a whole cantaloupe my kids will not touch it, but if its cut up it is eaten right away. Also instead of buying big bags of chips or cookies get the smaller 100 calorie bags or single serving size. That way you are not tempted to eat the whole bag. You really can't control what he eats when he is not home. Maybe after dinner you could suggest that the whole family go out for a walk. I don't know how easy this will be though because I know my son at 18 didn't want to spend a whole lot of time with me. LOL

If the child is hooked on video games, buy him DDR and/or a Wii. DDR is very active and the Wii has very active games as well.

Do it with him. My kid used to pee in his pants when we did DDR together because I'm such a dork!

I gotta say, that seems like a crazy low amount. My DS 17 is 5ft 9 and 185. He is not fat AT ALL. He lifts weights 5 days a week so he has muscular arms, legs, etc. You would never know he is 185. He actually started lifting because he was 164 about 8 months ago and sais he felt scrawny. He looks awesome now.
So I would never go by what a website says you should be. That site said my DS should be between 135- 168. That's crazy. My son would hate to be that small again. It says his BMI is 27.4. Which would normally be overweight but it says if you're an athelete your BMI may be in the 27-29 range because of muscle mass. So it's normal for him.

Jen

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Sometimes kids this age grow into their height or naturally shed a few with changes such as college, summer jobs (I worked construction at this age and boy, was I toned after!), etc.

I'm always more concerned about health then about weight... Teaching kids healthy eating and keeping them active are what really seem more important to me -- gotta take care of the lungs, heart, brain and other internal organs in order to keep the machine running!

BMI calculator at Mayo Clinic online for kids under 18:
Tool: BMI calculator - MayoClinic.com

There are some helpful tips if you enter his info and then click through at the link above.