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| The Cafe - 'TC' So? Your daughter wants her belly pierced? Your cat keeps using the couch as a litter box? Your husband taped the Hockey game over your wedding video? Your neighbor has a gnome collection and it makes you mad? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and come on in to The Café! Talk amongst yourselves...discuss, question, reply, or respond to many subjects! |
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| Words Cannot Express
Thank you all so much for all of your support. I cannot tell you how much it means to my family. We lost Fletcher due to a very dangerous game he was playing that we had no clue about. It's called The Choking Game. Apparently kids choke themselves to get some feeling of Euphoria that's supposed to last for hours. On Thursday, after lunch I had sent the kids to their rooms for a time out because they had gotten into a big fight. Fletcher, who felt emotions to their fullest.. was very upset. When I finally called the out of time about (about 15 minutes later).. Fletcher didn't respond and I thought he was just upset at me so I was leaving him alone to cool off. Finally, we had an appointment to go to so I sent Abby up there to get him.. and she came back downstairs and told me he wouldn't respond and that he had a chord around his neck. When I got to him.. his little body was blue, and he wasn't breathing. My dh is a police officer, and when I called 911 everyone was here in less than 3 minutes. The doctors at the hospital here in Lufkin were able to get his heart started again, and he was flown to Shreveport, La. He was sustained by life support until a specialist declared him brain dead, and the La organ donation program could assess whether or not Fletcher could donate some organs and tissue. When they finally were finished he was able to donate (for which we're extremely grateful). We were so blessed to have gotten those last hours to be able to tell him how very much we loved him, and that as sad as we were. It was okay for him to go. When they turned off the life support, my dh and I held him until the very last beat of his heart. The pd searched my sons xbox and our home computer for clues and The Choking game was the result of that investigation. There are signs.. clothing tied in knots, more time alone.. heightened emotions. We just thought it was him going through puberty. Please talk about this game with your children. Be aware. Give them all hugs today for us. Fletcher has no memorial fund. We're asking that if you'd like to send Flowers to the Memorial Ceremony please do. The memorial is set up for tomorrow (August 28th) at 4pm. It will be held at the Harmony Hill Baptist Church in Lufkin, Tx. Your thoughts are a great support to us.. Thank You SO much! Addison- I got your emails and responded, but I guess you didn't get it. God Bless you All. |
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Fletchers mom, I am so sorry for your loss. This was a big thing her in Idaho about a year ago a few kids died doing this same thing, and while I was growing up, my two sisters did the same thing with friends quite often. It really is just a game to them and they don't realize the dangers. I'm sorry that this took your son's life. Thank you for thinking of others in your time of grief and donating his organs as well. You are in my prayers. Becky |
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| Words cannot express how sorry I am to read your story. You and your family are in my prayers. I know it must have taken much strength to explain exactly what happened, and maybe by doing so you have educated those of us that know little of this dangerous game that some teens are playing. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Chris
__________________ I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! |
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This is just so sad. You will remain in my prayers and I hope that you can find some comfort in all the happy memories of Fletcher that you hold in your heart. God bless you and your family at this most difficult time.
__________________ Thanks. ~Susan ![]() Please email me at.... snschapin@yahoo.com Do not value the things you have in your life, but value who you have in your life! |
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We had a 15 year old die here of the same thing.. I'm truely sorry for your loss
__________________ Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers |
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I am reading through my tears .You are in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________ ·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`· «·´¨*·.¸¸. Jo ¸¸.·*¨`·» «·´`·.(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸).·´`·» Please leave feedback for me here. http://www.mycoupons.com/boards/g-l/...-littlejo.html gretchengirl@gmail.com http://lifewithlittlejo.blogspot.com/ |
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I am truly so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you must be going thru. Fletcher's memory will live on thru the organ donations and also thru the lives saved because you are telling his story! What a great mom you are!
__________________ Square dancing is friendship set to music! |
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Again, I am so sorry about what has happened. Thank you for taking the time in the midst of all this tragedy, to inform us of what happened to your precious son. I can't believe how much I care about a total stranger. From the moment I read your poem the other night, I have thought about you so much. (I too am a mom of a daughter 9 and a son 11). I have been getting on MC continuously to "check on you" because I am so concerned and heartbroken. Thank you for this "heads up". I am going to have my children sit down right now and have this discussion. Please know how much the hearts of all of us Moms and everyone else who knows of your story, are hurting for you.
Last edited by jovia; 08-27-2007 at 07:21 PM. Reason: spelling error |
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| Choking Game and Fletchers Mom ..... I am so very sorry you lost your boy to this wicked, high risk, thrill seeking activity. Your writing puts me back at the very moment I rushed to my 13 year old son Gabriel as his twin was holding him up under his arms screaming at me to "get him";.... It has been a little over two years and upon reading your account of Fletcher I realize once again, it is a miracle that I am still here, when it was no will of my own that kept me going. ... and.. and I wish I had words to wrap you with and to bring you peace.... .... Empathy...... your pain in my heart... I am so very thankful that you are being a voice for Fletcher; you will help to save lives; Fletcher will save lives..... I am thinking of you and if I can some how help... just know I will. Love to you all.. Sarah Pacatte, Gabriel Mordecai's mom THE CHOKING GAME KILLS! Choking Game : Deadly Games Children Play : Passout, Space Monkey, Black out, Flatliner |
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Thank you very much for filling us in what happened I'm so sorry it ended this way. My oldest <14> is always in his room and moody i assume puberty also but will look for any of the signs. I'm so sorry :-(
__________________ Books just wanna be FREE! See what I mean at: http://bookcrossing.com My other favorites www.paperbackswap.com www.wheresgeorge.com www.geocaching.com |
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You're so brave to take this painful time to educate us all about such a dangerous game. I've never heard of it before today, but I immediately talked to my kids about it. Just because they're older, doesn't matter. I don't think you realize how much you are helping others. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm praying for you and your family, and you're all in my thoughts.
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Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Just last night I read of another young boy's death due to "the choking game." Ronnie Broussard (1991 - 2006) It seems to be more and more common, and more and more tragic. May Fletcher's memory be a blessing.
__________________ oupiglet...addicted to free stuff! |
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My heart aches for you. The very first thing I did after reading this post is sit down with my 11 and 9 YO DS's and talk to them about the dangers of this game. Frightening beyond comprehension... I pray that your family can find peace and solace. |
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There is absolutely nothing that I can say to ease your pain. I know that. But, I want to thank you for sharing your story with us. It's so brave of you to share this with all of us on here while you are grieving. It has opened doors for us to speak with our own children. My 14 year old had never heard of this game but we sat and discussed it after she read your two posts on here. We both want you and your family to know that we are thinking of you and you are all in our prayers. May God bless you and keep you strong. Tammy and Shelby
__________________ Mom to a beautiful 15 year old DD and my handsome little man who's 6! ~~~GO DALE JR!!~~~ |
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I pray that Fletcher and Gabriel did not die without cause. Thank you moms for being caring enough to educate all other innocent children and share your stories so that other innocent lives may not be taken. I pray for peace, comfort, strength and healing in these times (both current and reliving) for you and your families. Thank you for sharing. Please know you have been heard. |
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What really creeps me out is that I was aware of the idea of choking someone for fun ten years ago, but it's NOT something that's gone away, or gotten better. Exactly one of the memorials on the site listed a death date a little later than the time I learned about it. If you're curious, someone suggested pressing his hands on the sides of my neck because I was having a bad day. He honestly seemed to mean well, and didn't seem to get why I thought it was dangerous. Losing a child to something as simples as a game is horrific, and I'm so sorry it had to happen to you. Being able to donate organs is a wonderful way to help someone else; a sort of living memorial, but it doesn't make up for his loss. I really hope we can try to educate more kids, to try to keep them safe. It's just such a sad way to die. |
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I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. Please know that your courage in speaking about this horrible tragedy in your family may help save another family from a similar tragedy. May this help to bring you peace. |
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I am so sorry for the loss of your Fletcher. My middle son is 13, and I cannot imagine your grief. These are only words, but truly - sharing your story will help enlighten about this dangerous "game". As heartbreaking as it is, you and your dh were wonderful and brave to consider organ donation. May you find peace in the memories of your darling son.
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Working in a middle school with children aged 11-14, we hear of this more often than I care to speak of. We try to educate our youth, but sometimes they still want to "see it for themselves," never realizing that the consequences can be so final. Your generosity in sharing some of Fletcher so others may live an improved and longer life speaks volumes of how much to treasure Fletcher and want to honor his existence. May you experience goodness and peace in your lives. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
__________________ "Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich "Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous "Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity Have the courage to be yourself. |
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Thank you for sharing the information with us. I am so sorry Tami i can't express how i even feel. I have been thinking of you all since i read your post and i am just so saddened to hear of his passing. My heart is breaking for you and i am just so so sorry.
__________________ SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old. |
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What an incredibly sad tragedy. Blessings to you for your ability to offer life to others while facing a loss no mother should ever have to feel. May God bring His comforting love down upon your family tonight.
__________________ Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!! All the cool babies are wearing cloth! |
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| The Choking game
I'm really sorry to hear about your son, I also lost a son to the choking game on Dec 5, 2004. I feel your pain every day but please know if you give God the chance to mend your broken heart, it will mend. The pain never goes away, we just learn to live with it and try to teach others of this game. You are doing a wonderful job telling of your story and I admire your strength. May God bless you in all you do and you and your family will be in my prayers. Duana Harmon, Ethan's mommy
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I was reading more about it since I posted earlier, I remember when I was about the same age some friends and I did the hyper venilating, i didnt realize it was almost the same thing we'd bend down hyper ventilate stand up against a wall and someone would hold you as you passed out so you didnt fall. Wow hadnt thought of that in years
__________________ Books just wanna be FREE! See what I mean at: http://bookcrossing.com My other favorites www.paperbackswap.com www.wheresgeorge.com www.geocaching.com |
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As the mom of a 12 yr old son, my heart just breaks for your family. We will speak to our children again about this "game", and the horrible loss you have suffered. I admire your strength and courage in donating your son's organs to others in desperate need. May God bless you, and help you through each of these terrible days and nights. Please know you and your baby will remain in my prayers. |
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Fletcher's mom, you are in my thoughts constantly. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Does anyone have any advice about informing kids without teaching them something that they wouldn't have thought of? I don't want to put any ideas into their heads, but am scared that if I don't tell them, they will learn from their friends. My kids are 8 and 10. Rebecca |
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Tami I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say except my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Maryann
__________________ ~~~~**Maryann**~~~~ I just got a firm grip on reality.... ![]() Now I can strangle it |
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How would you talk about this with your children without making them *curious*? They really do think that they are invincible at this age. I caught a Dr. Phil on this subject about a year ago. I chose not to talk with my son about it then because of his immaturity and inability to handle this type of information. Yesterday, I asked my son if he had heard of this 'game' and he said 'no'. He is 12. Any tips? Maybe Gabriel's mother could let us know... Although I think that the second website that you linked to is very good and might be a great place to start. To Tami, please know that you and your family continue to be in my thoughts a lot. Thank you for sharing the story. Last edited by Cuthie; 08-28-2007 at 11:40 AM. |
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Tami, You are a very brave woman. I don't think I could be telling the world about this game or the death of my child in such an articulate manner. Thank you for you honesty and sharing will us this horriable game that children play. I do believe it should be renamed the choking death game. I am sorry for you loss, no one should experience the death of their child. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Kathy Last edited by kathylun; 08-28-2007 at 04:07 PM. |
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There simply are no words that I can think of to offer you at this time. Please just know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family. My heart aches for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be talking to my children today about this dangerous game.
__________________ Shannon - SAHM to 3 kids (Ages 16, 13 and 8) -------------------- Joh 10:10 ...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. 1Pe 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Tit 3:2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. |
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fletchersmom~ Since your poem the other day, I have thought of you quite a lot. I read your post this a.m. about what happened and I am so very very sorry. I saw this on a show and have spoken to my son(who is almost 10) about the subject and used the various "names" of the game. He had not heard of it, but has been telling his friends "if anyone ever wants you to play this DON'T!" Thank you for the info and know you are in our thoughts and prayers. ~Patti |
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God give you the strength that you need right now. Although I believe he already has because you were able to share with us what happened in an attempt to prevent this from happening to someone else. Your strength in being able to post right now is amazing. I hope that knowing he was able to be a donor can comfort you just a little bit. In memory of Fletcher - another angel in heaven watching down on all of us.
__________________ I was born free, but now I'm expensive! |
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I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________ ·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`· «·´¨*·.¸¸Jackie ¸¸.·*¨`·» «·´`·.(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸).·´`·» email me at tjbault@smithville.net |
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Tami, Thank you so much for sharing your story of Fletcher. I was reading your post to my husband and broke down sobbing while reading it. I have twin boys who are 23 and the thought of losing one of them to a 'game' just breaks my heart. You have a lot of courage to be able to tell us about this tragedy. Please know that Fletcher will forever live in the lives he will save thru his organ donation as well as your telling his story to so many people. I am printing out your story and showing it to my nephew and niece, as they both have younger children. I cannot imagine the shock and grief you are in. I hope you know that there are many of us praying for you and your family. (((HUGS))) Be |
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I have read this post over and over for days. My heart just aches. There could be no greater loss than that of a child. You are the most courageous person I know. Thank you for sharing your son's life and death with us. I am searching for ways to speak with my children about this subject. I think that the details of this tragedy and this game will continue to help other families. I commend you and thank you for that. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family for a long time to come.
__________________ email is moserlara@yahoo.com |
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Your courage overwhelms me.....I have three teenagers and as I read Fletcher's story my heart ached and the tears poured....Thank you so much for seeing thru your pain to inform us of such a tragic game...When something such as this happens, we ask why....but there is no comprehending it...there is no sense to be made of it...But there is a God in heaven who knows and he will give you and your family the strength and grace to get through the days ahead....Again I am so sorry for your loss and you and your family will be in my prayers constantly......God Bless you...Sherri
__________________ "It isn't that liberals are ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan |
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