I was wondering if anyone here has had their older children present at the birth of a new baby? How did you prepare them? How did things go? What did you take along to "entertain" them?
To be honest, I wasn't planning on having my 9 year old son and 7 and a half year old daughter present at their baby sister's birth, but it is looking like one of my only options at this point. My only other option would be to have my husband (their step-father) stay with them while I give birth alone...something I am not too thrilled about, lol!
We are a military family, so relatives watching the kids isn't really an option. The kids' father (who is also stationed at our base) was going to watch them, but he will now be away during the time frame I am due.
My only good friends here work and won't be able to keep them for me. We are not really good friends with any of our neighbors (who also all happen to work with the exception of one lady who is retired)...And of course, since our families are quite some distance away...an 8 to 10 hour plane ride...them popping in to help is not much of an option either. My mother will be coming out after my due date, and could switch to come a bit before, but babies due dates are so unpredictable... We were/are considering having my MIL fly out, but we will have to pay for her plane ticket and she is afraid of flying and does not like to fly alone...there is just no way we can afford two tickets...
I am just really about to lose my mind! I need to prepare myself and my children for the very likely possibilty of being present at the birth, so any suggestions would be MUCH appreciated!!
Thanks!!
-Rachel

How about a babysitter on call for you? If you belong to a church, maybe someone there will help. Contact a local daycare if you don't have a babysitter; someone there probably baby-sits on off-hours. Maybe the kids' principal will have some ideas . . . I know you're in a hard place, but I think I would try really hard to find an alternative to having the kids there. If they're in the room, they could be very scared of the noises and blood they might see and, if they're alone in the waiting room, that doesn't seem very safe either.

You also need to check with the hospital. I don't think they would be thrilled either! They might even not allow it. Hope it works out for you.

How about posting an ad on base or in a newsletter? Or approaching the one retired woman that your post mentions? This really feels like one of those situations where people would love to help but don't know they need to. KWIM? Can your mother come as soon as labor begins so that you only need coverage for the siblings for a short while?

I don't think experiencing childbirth is a good experience for kids this age.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Have your husband talked to his commander. I can assure you that you are not the first person that has been in the position and there are probably several people in your units FRG that would be more than willing to help out. His commander will direct him where to go for help.

I hope that you find an alternative besides the hospital waiting room. I have friends who have used midwives and had the other children present and they've been fine but personally, I wouldn't do it.

Try not to worry too much. Things like this usually fall into place once people realize that there is a need. I am sure that someone will be willing to help you out.

When is the baby due?

What branch are you? Have you contacted the ombudsman (Navy) or similar person at the command and asked for suggestions/assistance?

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

No i would not have my kids attend the birth i feel it isn't something they need to see at their ages. This last time i had no option to have my husband take our kids out and i gave birth alone. Honestly i didn't mind it at all i was in to much pain to care who was standing next to me at that moment. When all was done then they got to come in and see their new brother.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

We were in the same situation when DH was in the Navy and we were stationed in Atlanta, all our family was in VA, OK and CA. We also went through should we bring her to the birth also, she was 10 at the time, we decided not to. We ended up using a friend that DD played with everyday and I asked them if she could stay with them if I went into labor, they lived in the same apartment complex. They were thrilled to help out. I did go into labor at midnight (of course) so DD went over there at that time, then went to school the next morning (both kids rode the bus together), the baby was born at 5:00am and DH was home by 3:00pm when they got out of school and took care of her unitl I came home, I was only in the hospital for a day and a half and she was old enough to visit and hang out at the hospital with us when not in school. Is this a new command for you? Do you know anyone in the family support group that could do it? It would technically be only a few hours (just the time you are actually giving birth) your DH should be able to get off work and the kids will be in school during the day, step-dad will have them in the evenings after school and in the morning, so it's not like you need someone to watch them the whole time you're in the hospital.

I think at 7 and 9 they are too young to be in the room while you give birth. If they're anything like my five year old is, all I'd get done doing is yelling at them to not touch that, don't get in to that, be quiet, and I'd NOT be able to concentrate on what I needed to do. LOL

Have you talked to your dr about inducing you. Maybe they would because of your situation. That way your mom could be there or your MIL to watch the kids. Other than that, I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm not familiar w/the military or what may be available to you.

I hope you're able to get this worked out so that you can't stop stressing and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Good luck!

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

Thanks everyone for your input. I am going to see what we can do. We did talk to MIL today and offer to pay for her ticket but she does not wish to come alone and does not have anyone to come with her, so that option is out the window... I came up with two names of wives in the shop that don't work, and may see if they would be intersted... Another option would be as someone suggested- finding a babysitter. I may place an ad in the base paper for that... Our squadron spouses group is just now restructuring and I don't beleive there is much going on there yet, but my husband may just talk to his first shirt and see if he has any suggestions. At this point I am willing to pay top dollar for someone to watch the kids for a few hours while I am in labor! LOL! Induction may also be an option, I will ask my doctor what he thinks! Thanks so much!!
-Rachel

Personally, I wouldn't go the induction route unless necessary. It's not fun.

Can I ask which base you are stationed at?

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People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

I think it's different for everyone. I was induced w/#3 and it was by far my BEST and easiest delivery and labor. I had no pitocin, just some insert tablet thingy that worked well. Induction was started at 8:20 and she was born at 6:47 p.m. I was induced so that she wouldn't get too big like #2. I had only a superficial tear that really didn't need any stitches compared to a 4th degree tear w/#2. If we are blessed with #4, I will insist on another induction. I do NOT want to take the chance of giving birth to another 9 pound 5 ounce baby (at three weeks early, too) again.

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

Induction was not a good experience for me. There will be no next time LOL but if there was, I would not mess with Mother Nature. (Yeah, no epidurals either )

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

That's the key right there.......no pitocin.

Well with second dd my oldest was gone for the weekend & with the youngest I had her so fast we didnt have a choice I honestly thought I would give birth at home I made it to the hospital & she came 20 mins later my mom was coming to take the 2 older kids but didnt even make it in time

I didnt allow them in the room though I had dh take them out hes still mad about that but even he almost fainted with my middle dd & had to leave the room then so no way did I want any of them in the room with the youngest I did it alone but like I said it was so fast it was really nothing for me blinked & she was thier & they were all back in the room holding her

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mom of 3 greats girls