could care less if they were in the corner, or have something that was very dear to them taken away when in trouble..spankings don't fase them nor does anything else.. I have a 3 year old and I have no control.. I've tried and tried and tried and am at my wits end..I've taken his precious blanket away stuffed animals, toys.. i don't know what to do.. am i alone in the battle.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Maybe he just needs extra attention.Try smothering him constantly with love and affection and maybe you'll win him over.My mom always taught us that its when they are bad is when they need the most love.

What is he doing wrong? At that age a lot of what they do can be corrected by re-directing, physically stopping them (gently) and distracting them. Making sure they are well fed and rested goes a long way toward better behavior, too. If I knew what behavior you were trying to correct, I could suggest something fitting.

My niece is like that, though she is a darling. She has always stood her ground and been pretty unimpressed with adult efforts to punish her through loss of privileges or belongings.

I think sometimes you have to physically intervene at this age. If you want him to stop doing what he's doing, tell him, then move him from it. Speaking very softly can work better than raised voices, since at 3 they can quickly become very curious about what they are missing. When they pause to hear you, repeat the direction.

Changing up the routines and patterns can help set some new ones. If you know he is going to battle you over turning off the t.v. in the morning, change the t.v. allowance. Instead of being able to watch first thing in the morning, let him know that time will now be for ______, and if he does a good job following direction, he can watch afterward. Whatever the battle zones are, changing it up can remove the knee-jerk "NO" reaction.

Good luck. I know it must be frustrating for you.

my son is Exactly like that! That's why when the toy he is playing with is being "bad" that toy goes in the corner...it's more devistating than for him to be in the corner. Also, I have realized that a smack on the hand is far more devistating than a smack on the behind. He's still in pull-ups so it doesn't phaze him. Also, we "reward" him often and tell him why we reward him. This can be a special time out with mommy or daddy without anyone else at the park, a museum, the library, a store, the movies, or even the dreaded chuck e. cheese. If he poops in the potty (which he does all the time) he gets to pick out a sticker to decorate his potty with. If he gets 10 stickers, he gets one of the above rewards (we choose, not him). We also get him a small toy (I usually get happy meal toys from my store manager friend) or m&m's/candy bar if he is super good. This can include being extremely patient during a cvs run, a target run, or another clearance run lol! It also includes picking up toys without being told, not whining or throwing a tantrum, sharing, etc...

When his dad realizes what he has done he gets really mad and it's definately an attention thing. He draws on our computer monitors with sharpies (by the way rubbing alcohol takes this out no problem) and unloads cabinets, toy boxes, and dvd cases. He also will have a fashion show and my husband doesn't even realize he has changed his shirt 3 times. He will meet me somewhere with him and I will say...where is the shirt I put on him in the morning...the response is usually the same, "I told you no why don't you listen". I then remind my husband he is the one who didn't keep an eye on him and let him get away with everything! (he doesn't like that reminder). It usually looks like a bomb went off in our living room when I get home from work if my husband is in charge of the kids. He let's my son unload his toy box and trundles from the train table and go to town. I thank God we have an alarm system that says which door has been opened and we have a baby-proof house that is very forgiving otherwise I would worry tremendously. Don't get me wrong, my husband is very loving but if he doesn't have a list or a "manager" he lets things go.

The thing is...my 3-year-old is super good for me...and only me! He knows he can get away with murder with his dad...because his dad has adult add. He also knows he can get away with a lot at the grandparents houses because they THINK they can trust him 100% but he's a sneaky little devil! You blink and the kid is into something else! My motto from the day he started walking was "be the adult...control him". People would let him play with their cell phones until they realized he throws them (when he was younger and didn't understand). The point is know your child!

I agree with everyone else! Tell your child constantly you love him even when he isn't your favorite person. He was made from love and this is just a phase you can remind him of when he is having kids. Also, spend more time with him. If you are tired, have him bring you his favorite book and read it to him (we like to have my son "read" it to us and then we "distract" him with counting, colors, shapes, and sound effects).

My son LOVES Thomas & Friends so his FAVORITE thing to do is "play trains and tracks with me". We take an hour out of the day just to do that! If we miss it, we talk about his trains and what they are doing right now (if we are out and about running errands).

Believe it or not, you can have a pretty funny conversation with a three-year-old. The other day I was nursing my 2-month-old and my three-year-old asked if the baby ate my nipple! hahaha! Out of the mouthes of babes...

Good luck with your son...I feel your pain! Love is the answer...so is attention!

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Maybe it's a boy thing, my son is the same way!? I think you just have to find that one thing that will really do it for him and I might have finally found mine, TV.

DS had a couple of bad days in school and I tried taking away his bike, other objects, etc, but he doesn't care. I told him if he got into trouble, there would be no tv for the whole night and he tested it once and that was the end of the trouble at school (at least so far). He seemed perfectly fine without it, they played outside, played with the town rug and cars, etc,. It didn't seem like it bothered him since he found so much to do and we don't always watch tv anyway, but it really must have?

Just keep searching for his currency as they say, you'll find it.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

My DS was the same way. He wanted attention and didn't care if it was negative or positive.
He is motivated by rewards. Once I learned that, life got a whole lot easier. It didn't take much of a reward, either (a few M&Ms, special time with mom or dad, stickers on a chart and when it was full a bigger reward). He is 7 now and is much more reasonable, but still requires rewards in some situations.

Sarah......mom to Jason & Devin

My niece Jenny was the same way. Very unimpressed with any punishment. She just adapted to whatever the situation. Put her in the corner, she would just play games with her fingers. Take something away, she would play with something else. Take EVERYTHING away, she would play with magazines and the footstool. no kidding


As was stated before :They started putting her favorite toys in the corner and it would break her little heart. She is a high school freshman and says it was the worst punishment she can remember. Even worse then her grandmother who would spank her.

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Nutella,....
proving some of the best things in life come in a jar.

A little late getting in on this thread, but OP, you have described my now 10 y.o. son exactly! I realized long before his first birthday that he was going to be my "high maintainence" child! He's not bad - just high energy and curious. The one thing that worked for us was making sure he had NO contact with a human voice, radio, TV, not even a pet during "time out". He could not stand being alone. So as he got older, he knew unacceptable behavior would result in being alone. Around kindergarten age, we discovered arts-n-crafts supplies helped keep his mind and fingers busy. Of course, being an old-fashioned Mom, I emphasize a certain amount of reading every day, but I do not know what I would do without our arsenal of arts-n-crafts supplies.

Yep my DD was/is this way, she is 11 now. She couldn't care less. Now if I won't speak to her because of somehting she has done wrong or tell her I am ashamed or disappointed in her it is a totally different story she cries and gets all upset. Just different strokes for different folks or kids in this case! Hang in there if I had to guess I would say your son is highly intelligent and just deals with things differently than other kids his age, as is the case with my DD. Don't worry you are a good Mommy!