The last month has really taken its hold on me and this family. My son is finally out of the Hospital, He goes back to school in the morning, However, Its been nothing but appts since he got out, I'm ran down, tired, I'm on my LAST nerve. I cant sleep , I haven't slept a full 8 hours in 2 months now. And We just had a new grand baby born Aug 30th AND thats the problem ( Not the baby, my DD AND HER REALLY GETS ON MY LAST NERVE STUPID HUSBAND ! )

Ok prepare this might get long.

I'm a Mother of 7 children/ Step Mom to 2 and a Grandmother of 9. My DD Mother - In Law and Father In Law is a Mother/Father to 3 Grandpa/Grandmother to 6. Hubby is a Grandfather to 9 and a Father to 6.
My Mother is a Mother to 6 and a Grandmother to 13 /Great Grandmother to 9. So between us I think we *Kind of KNOW* what to do around babies.

My DD and Her new Hubby just had their 4th child ( 3 for her and His 2nd ) On the day my DD gave birth we couldn't go till that night , hubby was working and she had the baby out of town. Get there, walk in and DD was sleeping, she got sick earlier and they gave her a shot, I walked over to where the baby was and before I could even LOOK at the baby SSIL Sits up and says DON'T WAKE HIM, HE DON'T EAT FOR 3 MORE HOURS, SO DON'T TOUCH HIM AND WAKE HIM UP (WTF??) why are we even THERE ?? if not to look at the baby, So we need to wait till the 3hours till he wakes up and then look at him ?? BTW, This was at 8 PM At night, putting it at 11 PM before we can see the baby ? HUH ? However, DD woke up and told her husband to hand the baby to her, (Good thing she woke up I guess)
So she holds the baby about 10 Min's and asked if I wanted to hold him, Of course I said and before I could even ask where the bathroom was, Her Husband starts telling me DON'T TOUCH HIM WASH UR HANDS WASH UR HANDS FIRST (OMG !!)Unknowing to him I had ALREADY applied hand stuff to my hands while in the room DUH !!But went ahead and asked where the bathroom was and washed my hands to hold the baby. We left shortly after this.

3 days later::
DD Called us told us to met them at home so we could all take pictures of the homecoming for the baby and we did. we get there about 2 hours after they did and they had her Mother- In Law, Father In Law, Friends and a Neighbor all there. Came in sat down. Baby was in the crib ( Located in front room)About 20 Min's passes and baby still in crib, Another 30 Min's and baby still in crib. About an hour passes and DD finally asked if we wanted to make pictures as her Mother In Law/ Father In Law were Leaving. Before ANYONE could stand to get cams out, Both DD and Her Hubby starts telling us, DON'T WAKE HIM UP, DON'T PICK HIM UP, And if all possible to not use the flash (AGAIN WTF??) DD calls me outside and tells me her Mother In Law is mad at them because they wouldn't allow her to hold the baby. I asked why not ?? She said because hes sleeping ( OKAY ) I said, well what have ya ll been doing since they got here she said Nothing really, Just sitting there.() OKAY,. I left it alone and went back inside took a couple of pictures, walked next door to where my other 3 grandsons were visited with them and we leave.

16 days Later. My Grandsons birthday party.
We get there and FINALLY BABY IS AWAKE ( YAY FOR US RIGHT ?? WRONG !! )DD tells hubby to put the baby in the swing , he does, they have the AC full blast so I covered the baby legs with a small blanket, Her Husband runs over there tells me DON'T BOTHER HIM, HES DON'T NEED ANYTHING. WTH ?? Bother him. MY GOD I was just covering his legs for Pete sake !! So I sat down, get up help DD cook hot dogs, fix the kids plates etc etc... So after all this I go back into front room where her husband is feeding the baby, The Baby falls asleep and he lays him facing the back of the couch. (Ok No I didn't / don't think thats the wises thing to do UNLESS you are going to sit there till he wakes up ).. Well he puts the baby down gets up and goes into the kitchen, I sat there mainly because the baby if facing the couch and I was afraid he might wake and roll face front into the back.. Sure enough, he wakes up and moves around enough and off he went rolling. I got up and rolled him over to face the outside. son in law comes back in front room ( NOW HES BEEN GONE OVER 20 MIN'S ) And starts having a hissy fit that I WOKE THE BABY UP !!, OMG UNREAL, No I just SAVED your sons life you MORON !!.. any hoot, I tell him he woke up and rolled into the back, he said No he didn't you woke him up, U BOTHERED him and now its NOT time to feed him and hes going to cry. I tried to explain I didn't wake him, he woke on his own and I didn't *BOTHER* him I just rolled him over. I stayed maybe 10 Min's and we all left.

Yesterday ::
DD has not once came over with the baby and hes 5 weeks old. So I woke from a terrible headache ( Ive been having them 2/ 3 times aday for 2 weeks now ) I had spent nearly all day waiting in my van trying to sit it out till my brother could fix his van that broke down. Ended up 4 hours later couldn't be fixed had to leave it on the side of the road ( Now I have to drive them over 80 miles home ) So when we got back to my house I took 4 pills for my head, laid down on my love seat and I must have gone to sleep. I woke from a cry from my grandson ( Thought I was dreaming there )..There sits DD and the baby talking to my sister-in-law, Sister in law is holding the baby hold time DD telling her watch his head, hold his neck etc etc.. DD asked if my Mother wanted to hold him, Mind ya this is the FIRST TIME my Mother has held him at all. DD starts correcting her telling her to hold his neck My Mother looked at her like she was NUTS and just hands him back, saying I know how o hold a baby, Only had 6 of my own and 13 grandchildren !!.. She then looks at me and says , Mom u want to hold him. I said No. She asked why ? So I told her. She got very mad and storms out the house
I told her about the other times when I was suppose to be *Bothering* Waking* No washing my hands* Etc Etc.
Anyway, I fely bad for this and called her today to *Try* to talk and work things out. She gets here I very NICELY asked her to let me talk before she said anything.She agreed.
I start by telling her how many kids we all have from me to her Mother-In-law, I also added this ISN'T your 1st baby nor your Husbands (His ex wife left him when their son was only 3 weeks old, his MOTHER and FATHER raised the baby till he got discharged from the Navy, But he had the son on weekends ALONE >then his Mother had the baby the rest of the week... I tried to explain that they (Both ) were acting as if None of us had any sense on how to care for a newborn child and they were really hurting EVERYONES feelings about touching him, waking him and plainly acting like we are going to harm him. OMG Before I could say another word DD Jumps form the love seat and starts having a total meltdown, She informed me F You, F ALL OF YA LL, Don't EVER call me, Don't EVER come to my house again, I'll never come back here, I'll never call you again, You can Kiss My A**. you can Kiss your Grandsons goodbye FOREVER. On and On and On. well my 3 year old grandson starts crying and she starts SCREAMING again its MY FAULT hes crying because I'M the one yelling * God as my witness I didn't say anything NOR yell back till she stated yelling the 2ND TIME at me .. I told her good if thats the way she wanted it don't bother me a bit. ( Honesty why would it because as it stands I'm not even allow to cover his legs w/o getting told not to *Bother* him ) She starts getting the boys and taking them outside to put in her truck, every single time she came back in she screamed another cuss word at me. I finally told her if she cussed me again I'll slap her lips off her face ( And YES I meant it too ).
Now here I sit wondering if I really did do something wrong. I don't think I did, If I did I didn't mean too. I don't see covering a babies legs as being a terrible thing. Or rolling him over either as terrible.

I did ask DD WHY they even invited us to come over if they were not going to *Allow* anyone to hold, see or touch the baby. She just kept saying F-U F-U... never did give me an answer to the question.

Could she be depressed ? Crazy? I don't understand it. She BTW when she had the 1st 2 boys she and her ex lived with his Mother when BOTH of my grandsons were born they attended the Church the Mother- In Law attended and they were ONLY 3 days old and 4 days old at the time. Her Ex Mother - In Law smoked, So did her ex. I know for a FACT DD never requested we * Wash* our hands before touching them at the hospital ( But this doesn't matter no big deal at all )and she had never told anyone not to *Wake Nor Touch them before feeding time.
I'm so hurt over her behavior. I mad as hell she would even ALLOW her husband to talk to me, her stepfather and our family members like this And I cant get over how they treated HIS Mother and Father the same way, ESP when HIS Mother took over the care of HIS son at 3 weeks old.

I'm sorry so long. I had to vent or keep crying , I don't understand whats going on with them Esp My DD thats acting like ONLY they have the sense to touch the baby with out harm

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WOW, you said it could be long, and it sure was. Here's my take on it.....everyone in the situation seems to be under a lot of stress....you have been dealing with a lot, your DD and her DH are no doubt very sleep deprived, and as PonderHim said could be "postpartum depression".

I know it will be hard, but, just try to be patient, and understanding, and try not to take it all personally. Keep loving those grandbabies, the rest will hopefully work out. Have you offered to baby sit??? Might be a good "excuse" to get to see the grandkids, and hold the baby, and DD and her DH will get a break.

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(((((HUGS TO YOU)))))) Sounds like you have had alot to deal with. That is wonderful news that your son is out of the hospital! Congrats on your new grandchild!

Sounds like your DD could have PPD, or is getting overwhelmed. with a new baby and having to take care of other children Maybe the baby is colicky or has his days and nights so confused that he sleeps well during the day when company is over and is up all night crying. After weeks of sleep deprivation and a crying baby, it can make the most patient people cranky especially when you have other children you have to deal with and a flow of company.

Maybe she needs some help so she and her husband can get some sleep. Maybe someone from the family or some friends can take her other children for a couple of days so she can maybe get the baby on a better schedule.

I can understand that you are offended by their behavior.

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I was wondering if this might be PPD, I have never gone thu that , So I really don't know much or what signs to even look for if s1 has it.

Had she acted this way with the other 2 boys then at least I would have known this is just her. However,She didn't act this way as a matter of fact, She allowed her ex Mother -In Law to take each boy to church at 3 days old and then when the 2nd was 4 days old. When we went to the hospital after each ones births, She would just hand us the baby, ever asked to not wake or touch them. So yes I'm very taken back and offended she is acting this way with the new baby.

Her husband is acting like a total JERK with me and his Parents.and Believe me I would not defend his parents other wise I don't / cant stand either one of his parents at all, Nor do they like me and that suits me just fine ... So when I'm having to defend them and their feelings being hurt its because its Major.
I do need to add, The son he has isn't his Bio Son, his ex wife was pregnant when they married, so this is his parents 1st Bio Grandson ( KWIM) And of course they are all excited and want to hold the baby, be around the baby you know how it was with your own 1st grandchild. But to be told by the person that you allowed to raise your son to NOT touch his newborn had to cut to the bone for them. It to me is a slap in the face. Its OK that you raised me and my 2 sisters to adulthood and then I dropped my 3 week old son off at your doorsteps, But now that you have raised us all you don't have the SENSE to touch my new born son.

But heres the kicker, My Son-In-Law is a EMT !! Yes you know the people that care and tend to every kind of walk in life sick people. Thus he is EXPOSE to every kind of germ/ sickness there is. I don't care if he washes his hands a million times over, DD says she places his clothing as soon as he gets home in the washer, But this isn't true as I cleaned their front room up the day of the Birthday party and put dirty clothing in a pile in their bedroom that contained his uniforms that were dirty.So I know this to be a flat out lie on her part. So the fear of the baby being exposed to ones hands before washing just doesn't fly with me Nor anyone else that knows them and sil job.
His parents have some kind of wolf dog thats totally in house dogs, ( There's 3 dogs) One of the wolf dogs attacked his son about 5 maybe 6 years ago requiring over 250 stitches in his head. But YET he has and they will take the baby over there in the home with the dogs that attacked my step grandson. Not only this, they shed like I have never seen a animal shed before. The baby's car seat was covered in dog hair, I thought it was a used car seat the day of the party and I asked about the dog hair, she said it was from His parents dogs that kept going over to the baby and licking him in the face. OMG Please someone tell me I didn't just hear this. You think NOTHING of a dog licking your newborn in the face, the same dog that Licks his butt and privates and god knows what else. But don't dare touch the baby w/o washing your hands. I'm so sorry but that is just plain right out S-T-U-P-I-D.

So see this is why I'm having such a hard time understand their behavior with the baby.. If they want a completely clean environment and freshly washed hands for their son why not set the example and keep every single thing that comes in contact with him clean..

and as much as I would love to say she has PPD, I cant get over the fact they have acted this way since the baby's birth. When they came home he was just 3 days old and sil had not left the hospital since the day she went into labor. My DD told me the 3days every single time I called to check on them the baby was sleeping or either in the nursery. So they did get rest and wasn't caring for a child that cried day and night as he spent time in the nursery. Shoot as a matter of fact the day she left with him they went SHOPPING at Targets and wal-mart and Sam's club.

I don't know why they are acting this way to tell the truth. I wish I did this way I wouldn't take offense to the behavior.

And No I have not offered to babysit, mainly because every time I call her shes going some place, Shopping, the Gym, His parents, out to eat. Etc Etc.
I have many times sat for my other grandsons I even kept his son year before last summer the whole summer while he went thu training to be a sheriff. . I don't know what to think or what I should do.
I just know I DON'T appreciate her screaming at me and esp her cussing me the way she did, Truth be known she very lucky I didn't slap her in the mouth for saying F-You over and over again. Depress or not, she doesn't speak to me in this manner EVER.

I am going to give it a few days and let things cool off, I'll try and call her to see if theres anything I can do to help make her day easier. And Yes I know its hard to have 4 children with 3 being home full time. However, They have a support system with us, they just need to stop acting this way so we can offer to help them w/o being made to feel we are so clueless we cant be around their son.

I would like to talk to her about maybe being PPD however, I already know this would start world war 3 with them. I just hope she snaps out of it before she loses control.
Again thank you all for the suggestions and replies.

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I would personally let the hand washing thing go. Most parents are paranoid about germs and want to remind everyone to wash up. I bet the EMT husband has your daughter extra paranoid. I am surprised that the two of them are not letting anyone hold him while he is sleeping, though. It sounds like an excuse to not let anyone touch him, maybe going back to the germ thing? Most new babies I have known are passed around the room and sleep through it. Also, what's up with the SSIL? Maybe she has them convinced not to wake a sleeping baby??

If I were you, I would not mention any more about their behavior. New parents think that they are the only ones that know anything about thier child and that the grandparents are interfering. If you suggest PPD, she will take offense to that. I would just call and make up. It's not worth missing your grandbaby's first few months over a fight. Good Luck!

Rebecca

I think its a mixture of things- Carries right- first time parents sometimes go overboard.
Your daughters husband might be making her nervous on top of PPD.
Watching everyone like a hawk would make everyones nerves on edge.
It sounds like a little bit of everyone is looking at each other looking for mistakes. Try to take a more relaxed way about it all, dont look at all the negatives, and just try to enjoy the baby as much as you can. Eventually their high stressed ways will soften and you'll be bouncing that newborn on your lap all you want.

HUGS to you~

That was going to be my guess on the situation, but they're not first time parents! Then when you said it's the dad's first bio child... yeah I think it must be him influencing it. Maybe your daughter is really stressed with all the kids and he's made her paranoid or made demands she feels like she has to keep up with. Not that it would be any excuse for how she acted!

Only people I complain about waking the baby up are my kids, or my husband if he's just being loud... if he wanted to pick her up and hold or play, that's one thing. Forgetting she's in the room and just talking loud is another!

This doesn't sound like postpartum depression. She could well have PPD but it doesn't explain why she's so hostile to you or why she hasn't come over in five weeks. It could be a chemical imbalance or a dormant mental illness aggravated by the birth or it could simply be that someone has attempted to turn her against you and it's working. Has she ever cursed at you before? Do you know of any reason she might resent you?

Vorphalack I hear DING DING DING from your post. This is what I believe is going on too. I think he has told her all about the germs/ sickness/ what ever esp with being a EMT that he's put pressure on her , I do wonder if she flew off the way she did is because she already KNOWS their behavior is wrong to start with and me telling her how we feel just proved what she knew to start with.

I don't know Its just so odd and very hurtful to be treated this way. after all she's made it to the ripe old age of 25 I didn't kill her with my lack of holding/ uncleanness LOL. His parents managed to get him to adulthood as well ( hes 31).. Maybe its the whole 1st time parent deal because this is *Their* 1st baby together. Who knows / Who can tell

To answer some questions.
No she has NEVER told me F-You and when she gets her head back on right . This will be the First thing we talk about. We have had our disagreements and at times a few cuss words have been spoken, But not at each other. So she IS very lucky I didn't come unglued on her and that My DH didn't get into it with her about the way she spoke to me Last night.

cougarskies :: I don't know and really cannot say if this is true or not, He has nothing to fear from me I can honesty say in the year plus they have been married I have never been at their home w/o an invite from them. I don't call them but maybe a time or 2 in the week and thats only to talk to my DD. Or she will call me ( thats the case mostly her calling me ). I can say I'm one of em Mother - In Laws that DOESN'T, Don't want in the middle of any of their problems. I know what I know about them because DD is the one that tells me, other wise I don't know, Nor do I want to know. They are both grown adults, Married, Have children My 2 cents worth wouldn't make or break a differences in what they are or are not doing. ( KWIM). So he has nothing to fear from me at all.

rebeccarr :: You are right thats why I don't know how to go about talking to her about PPD and I do believe it would start world war 3 if I did. But I'm worried for her. I know already I cant bring it up to the Husband as he's a KNOW IT ALL, And when I say a KNOW IT ALL thats him. He knows about it, been there done it. there's NOTHING he can't do or hasn't seen. Out of all my family I can't tell you 1 person that wants to be around him for more than 5 Min's. If we have a family get together 1st thing I'm asked is if hes going to be there. And we are talking about family members that don't even live here will ask this. The last family get together we had was a craw-fish boil I did at the State Park for them and our family. My Sister- In - Law and Brother had never met him before However, before it was over I was pulled a side and told they were cutting the visit short as they couldn't take any more of him and the way he knew everything about anything. ( Honestly, He was doing this all the way from talking about fishing to how to season the craw-fish ) I was very uncomfortable with his behavior that day. DD was also getting very upset with him as well. If I was to say a word about it to him he would only tell me He would know if she had it or not. But I'm still worried about her and Maybe I should say something just in case.

PDD is bad isn't it ?? isn't that what these Mothers had when they killed their children/ babies ??, So maybe I should bite the bullet and just go ahead and tell her she needs to be checked out by her Doctor in case. At the rate she is going she's going to lose it and it wont be long. Esp if shes very stressed with the new baby.

I had some time last night to think things over and even tho I don't agree with whats going on and don't agree with their behavior I guess I'll step back and swipe my feelings to the side... I'll call her this week when shes had time to cool off and things die down some. I'll call when I hope her Husband is working so *we can just talk* Maybe she knows she over stress and just don't know how to ask for help. ..
Maybe she will allow me to come get the boys for a couple of days so she can get some rest. .

Ack this is so odd and stressful. Geshh I feel Like a outsider to her and its never going to change.
Hope things will die down and we can talk soon.
Thanks everyone for all the replies. I appreciate it.

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OK, 10 months ago we had our 4th baby and this is our last so maybe I can offer some help. This being our last baby/birth, I totally wanted everyone but my husband and our kids to pretty much stay out of it all (I have majorly intrusive inlaws--if you give my MIL an inch she takes a mile). I have had several of the other births totally ruined by intrusive family members overstepping boundaries. I'm not saying that's what is going on, but maybe they are feeling the pressure of everyone being there, calling, etc. You know how crazy things are when you are trying to get adjusted to a new addition to the family--the routine, the feedings, up and down all hours of the night, then add in two hundred phone calls, door bell ringing, tons of laundry, trips to the store constantly, no time to prepare meals, all this is worse if the baby is a cryer or other kids are still little too and require a lot of attention. This birth, my inlaws just about drove us crazy with the calling and frequent trips overnight (they were 5 hours away and just recently moved here and now are driving us nuts locally). I have no idea if your dd is going to have other kids or not, but maybe with the realization there are now 4, they know it could be the last (for health or money reasons, wishes, whatever). Maybe she's trying to 'hold onto' every single minute, doesn't want to miss a thing as it's her last. I know I am dealing with that too. It's not postpartum depression but it's a happy and sad time, KWIM? (I did have pp depression though with one of my daughters, and boy is it a nightmare; your daughter does sound like she might be suffering some depression as the major mood swings are a part of it--maybe your son inlaw is aware of the issues and is just trying to help his wife cope.) They could just be overwhelmed with 3 kids and a new baby. I can totally handle all 4 kids and was calm from the birth, but my husband pretty much went into panic mode. I really thought he was going to have a breakdown. That was out of character for him for sure as he is great with all of our kids and has always been wonderful with babies too. I think the stress of that 4th child just did him in. I have had moments of totally being overwhelmed too in the past 10 months; going from 3 to 4 is a lot as you know. Your dd and her husband may be dealing with that too and are probably seriously sleep deprived also. Also, most couples have a few issues with each other when they have a new baby (everyone is lacking sleep and irritable, the wife is recovering from childbirth and the husband is doing all sorts of responsibilities that he normally does not have to care for). I know it's hard, and I totally think your dd is wrong for going off on you like she did, but try to just let it go if possible. Never bring it up again if you can do that; she's not 'herself' right now. I'm with everyone else--this will blow over when the baby is a little older and things calm down. I'm sure we've all said or done something during or after the birth of our kids that offended someone or hurt someone's feelings. I know I certainly have and have felt bad for it later on.

I'm not saying you guys are overstepping boundaries, but to your kids it may seem like they have no 'down time' with just their own family. Sometimes you just want everyone to 'go away' and leave your family to get used to it all. You know from experience that large families (immediate) take lots of time and when other people are at your house a lot, it just seems overwhelming. I'd give them some space. If you want to go over (call first/with your kids' permission of course/make certain it's a good time), I'd limit it to once a week; when you get there, try not to spend all the time with the baby. Do something with the older kids, do the laundry, dishes, bring a meal over, etc. My Mom and MIL always offered to 'help' with the new babies but all they wanted/ended up doing was to sit and hold my new baby which infuriated me. New moms want to be with their baby. It's just natural. I needed help with the house--it was my job to hold my baby and take care of it (not all the time, I let other people hold my baby, etc., of course, but I can relate if every single time your kids pick up their child someone grabs the baby out of their arms, etc.). Again, I'm not saying you guys are doing any of those things, but if even one person is overdoing it, they may be trying to set up some boundaries with everyone. Does that make sense? Maybe they realize that with 4 kids now, they are going to have to change some of their 'house rules' as to not get so overwhelmed. I would let their 'attitude' go and do whatever you can to help them out--right now they would appreciate someone helping with meals, pick up diapers, wipes, help with the older kids, anything that you can to lighten their load (or just ask them what you can do to help). When you are around the baby (or other kids) try your best to do things the way the parents want them done. This insures them that they can trust you to abide by their wishes (after all, they are the parents). Obviously you know what you're doing, but most parents are very protective of their newborns. If you don't get along with the son inlaw, go over when it's just your daughter home and help then. Only stay 30 minutes at a time, etc. Take the older kids out in the yard to play while your dd and the baby lay down, etc. If you do all of that (or have already tried all of the above)--I would leave them alone. They very well may just want to be left alone to enjoy their new child as a family. Don't take it personally though, I know it's hard. Let us know how things are going. It will get better I'm sure.

Wow, the dog hair thing is gross, not to mention SCARY. I would never let a dog, especially one that has previously attacked, lick a baby's face. Maybe you could casually mention, "Oh my gosh, remember how scary it was when those dogs attacked little so and so..."

With how paranoid she is, a little seed of doubt will probably grow and this is actually a situation that she needs to be paranoid about.

My ppd was pretty intense, but I got through it without meds. Looking back, I should have been on meds with my last baby. It just seemed that with each child, it intensified. I hated when people would tell me how paranoid I was with the baby. It just made me want to retreat into my house and rarely come out.

Give her a little time, hopefully she will adjust and be as understanding as possible. She probably felt attacked and I know you didn't attack her but when I was there (ppd) just a tiny bit of criticism would make me cry and rage. (How dare they criticize me, I'm doing the best I can, and on and on.....)

Extra grace and compassion. I would apologize, she might need a shoulder to cry on soon.

Let us know how it turns out.

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How did you hold yourself back from smacking the sh*t outta her! I had post partum extremely bad, and never once cussed anyone out. I was dilusional about hurting my second one.. He and she owes you a face to face apology.

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Totally not the case with us here. I can tell you to the amount how many times I've been to their home with out a invite from them NONE, ZERO NADA. I have never once just * stopped* in on them. The phone calls are maybe at most 2 times a week ( 7 day week not 5 day week) and then its only a few min call as I cannot STAND to talk on a phone my limit is maybe 10 Min's and then it seems like an hour then.In the 16+ months they have lived in his home I have been there 5 times total, 2 Birthday Parties, 1 Christmas party, 1 Just come over we are grilling and the home coming for the baby. I don't Invite myself either, I only go when SHE calls and invites me. As I said before, I'm not that type of Mother/ Mother- In-Law I don't /will not /don't want too get into their business what they want me to know my DD tells me other wise I don't care. I can't speak for his parents tho. I don't think they go over there much either, They usually go to his parents home BTW which they have to pass right by mine to get to his parents home as we both live on the same highway. If the stop by great , If they don't No Biggie either.
You have to know me to understand me. I'm a loner, Homebody type. I want to me in MY home doing MY thing. I'm not the type thats pushy or demanding. If you are an adult then what can I tell you that will change your way of thinking ?? Answer Nothing. Thats why I let them live their life's the way they want Both are adults Both have Children and Me being Mom will not change anything they want anyhow so why get mixed up in it ? ( KWIM ). Now I do know he will bow down to his parents, I have heard my DD complaining to us about hes always doing this or that for them and it really makes her mad. I also know DD has told me her Mother-In-Law gets into their Money Business and they will have huge fights about it. But I cannot say what they have or haven't done since the baby was born as I cannot stand either of his parents and I REFUSE to be in the same room with them unless theres no other choice in the matter. This is why when I say they have hurt his Parents feelings over the baby Its MAJOR or I wouldn't have defended them other wise.
But any hoot,, I'm going to give it some time this week and call her later before the weekend. Maybe she will have calmed down and talk about this. Other wise I don't know what else can be done..
Thanks for your take on the matter, But really this isn't the case with us.


refundsrus Thats the very same thing my Mother and Husband asked me. I guess if my grandsons had not been here I would have slapped her, Sorry as I said Depressed or Not to tell your Mother F-U OMG unreal and you better believe she will apologize to me or else she can KISS me goodbye, I would have never said this to her or any of my children and to have her say it to me was hurtful/ mean and down right nasty.

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

they both sound like head-cases to me. So sorry you are going through this right now. I hope it works itself out; I just feel bad for your other grandkids.