I saw this topic and thought it was interesting, so what are your thoughts on a harness/and or leash used on children?

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

I used to hate them until my last child. She was constantly on the go. We used one at Six Flags one summer and it was a life saver. That child almost literally dragged us through the whole park. I didn't use it on a regular basis, but it was nice in situations like that.

I didnt do it but I dont think its all bad lots of kids run in the street & things when they are little & I know personally a few people whos kids were killed & another who was injured to the point they are paralized for life so I dont see it as all bad when they are little

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mom of 3 greats girls

oh yeah I agree with it. My cousins son was killed at 3 after getting hit by a car in a parking lot. She put him down after her purse had fallen off her shoulder.. had ahold of his hand but during pulling her strap up he pulled away and got hit.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

We had something small that we used when our twins were toddlers. It was a necessity when we were out in certain circumstances - but now 6 years later, I can't remember what they were, LOL! I don't think we used them often, but they sure helped when we did have to use them.

Please don't judge others if/when you see that. Would you rather see that, or see a child hit by a car as they dash into a busy parking lot?

Suzanne

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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. - Lemony Snicket

Suzanne was it the bungee like wrist leashes? I remember looking at those, but figured my daughter would get out of it. She was a total houdini. There was not a carseat that could contain her. She was climbing out of her crib by the time she was 10 months old. I still swea I don't know how I survived her toddlerhood.

I've used it once on my Keaton.. This is the child i posted about in a previous thread. He is a very determined almost 3 year old.. He is also the child that I almost lost due to him running in a parking lot thanks to honda oddessey (sp) screwed up locking system.. (yup I ditched that car) He has his moments when he just does not listen.. sure i could take a cart out to the car, and most times I do or try to. but there are times when it is just easier to walk.. he will let go and get loose from me.. he will throw himself down.. He's a nightmare.. yup you bet i slap one of those things on him..
The car show at the ix center..oh yeah..he had it on that day because God for bid people go around us instead of cutting through us..never again!
AT the mall when he's hiding in the racks of clothes.. yup I have one on him there to after having a code adam pulled on me at belden village macy's... He was in a rack of clothes"hiding"
Have I talked to him..sure
I've yelled till i was blue in the face
I smacked his butt plenty of times...no feeling left maybe?
I've taken toys away
I've taken his blankey away..
does it matter??
not in the least! The leash gives me one less thing to worry about.. I have very little control over this child, and I know that.. My first one I have right under my thumb, but this one will drive me to an early grave..
really Carrie you have to meet him..lol

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Never used one with dd, and certainly won't with ds. They are wrong imo.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

how wrong is it for your child to be hurt because they got away from you? I used a harness on my daughter when we were going to little league games. It saved her many times from falling through the bleachers. We live on a busy corner where people don't always stop at the stop sign. She used to bring me the harness and dog leash so I could attach her to the clothes line. We had a friend that used to say hang you kid on the clothes line like an animal, and I always told him if he wanted his kids killed by a car that was his business, at least I knew mine were safe

It makes me cringe to see kids on leashes BUT I can totally understand parents who feel the need to use them.

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Nutella,....
proving some of the best things in life come in a jar.

IMO... leashes are for dogs, cats and rabbits.... not for kids.

I cringe when I see children in leashes.

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SPJRNTGADL!

I'd rather see a kid seatbelted into a big stroller than walked with a harness.It makes them look like pet apes to me,lol.

They aren't leashes, when used on humans, they are harnesses to restrain them, to keep them from running off, or otherwise hurt themselves.....Why judges others, when maybe their child is especially active, doesn't listen, ..
The only time I've seen one used was at the mall with a "special needs child". What a great idea for them. They were able to get out of the house, the child had different scenery, and the child was safe. The child wasn't able to listen for various reasons, and it would have been impossible for the parent to go out without it.
Don't judge so harshly without knowing the full story....there may be many reasons why these might be used, and you just don't know all the facts.

i never used one,but if a parent feel the need to use,that's fine with me....
what bothers me more is seeing a newborn in an umbrella stroller in a sitting position ,when that baby can't hold his neck......that makes me cringe....

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By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends

I don't have a problem w/people using them. My sister has a ds who needed one. I've been out with her. He walked at 9 months and could get himself out of the stroller by the time he was 1. he hates to sit still. He just doesn't listen and no punishment bothers him. This her youngest. He is now 6 and she has been to the ER with him more times than the other 2 combined. He is a real dear devil. Luckily he loves school so can sit still most of the day.
Judy

I wasn't "judging" anyone. I was stating my opinion...which is what was asked. The thread title says "harness or leashes". They are interchangeable words in this post, and are one in the same and it does not change my opinion.

Whether I have "all the facts" or not, I am still entitled to my opinion, and I still believe that harnesses or leashes should be reserved for pets and not people.

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SPJRNTGADL!

I used a leash type thing on my ds when he was 2 - 3 at Disney World and Knotsberry Farm. He was so thrilled to see the characters, rides, etc. they he would take off after them. With three children under 5 I had to know where he ws to keep him safe. This harness had a velcro strap that went around my wrist, a spiraled type cord and then a band that velcroed around his wrist. Trying to meet the needs of all I was not always able to have all three in sight always. I'm sorry if some of you feel it is cruel, but my hyperactive son survived, has never spoken of or indicated he felt psychologically damaged, and is today a 23 yr. old graduate of the largest university in the nation and working professional.

I never used one for any of mine, but I think they are better than having the childs arm held up for a long time. Try holding YOUR arm up over your head for a long time.

I would NOT want to go around with MY arm held up in the air for hours. So I think the harness would be better for the child.

I guess this is where I am at too. I detest seeing them on children...makes them appear to be a pet rather than a child BUT as said, I can see the point of a parent who does use them and do understand the safety aspect

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I do not like the "leashes". I never used one for my DD.

Tacky, IMO. They are OK for special needs kids, though.

Rebecca

We used one for DS. He would not stay in the stroller, and would not hold your hand. He walked at 10 months, and was never one to sit still. The one I had was a thin strap type thing that went over his arms, and around his chest, I think, it's been a while...... I would put it on him and then hold his hand until he had enuf of the holding my hand and wanted to "go free". It wasn't like a dog leash in that I let out several feet and just let him run wild. I'd much rather see a child on that, then some of these parents that just let their kids run wild all over the place.

With my DDs, I don't remember using it at all.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I never had to use them on my children but now my sister has a 2 year old this child gets loose from everything, hates the stroller, car seat, he is on the move ALWAYS cannot sit still, crawls out of the
shopping cart in the food store so she can no longer take him to the store, he run all the time from her,
I want her to get one of these leashes for him I see him getting hurt over something stupid, untlil you have a child like this you will completely understand why these are used.

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RIP Chibby my chinchilla 10/02/09

My mother used one on me many years ago. I was one of five children and I was the only one she had to use it on.

I have used them, when I had 4 under 4. When I was traveling alone in an airport. I couldn't push more then one stroller by myself and used it as a safety precaution. I would rather my child look like a pet, then to be lost or taken because I only have two hands......

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

But how can you tell when one is being used its NOT for a child with special Needs ?? one can't unless you ask the person using it on their child . There for I have no problem nor would I cringe when seeing one in use as I don't know the reason behind the person using it for their child.

There could be a million and one reasons for a person using one for their child. Could be the Mother or Father has a Health issue and having to take a small child that might dart out in traffic or get lose from the parent theres no way they can catch up with the child before harm could happen to them.


I have a friend years back that used one for her child that was deaf and mute. She always feared her child would get away from her and lost. Since the child couldn't hear or speak theres no way she could hear a horn or yells to get out of the way from harm. Also, If she just happen to turn away from the child and someone snatched her there's noway the child could scream or cry out for help. So she was VERY right in using one. As she couldn't / wouldn't ever say the child wouldn't/couldn't wander away from her. Good thinking on her part as she knew she wasn't the perfect parent and far from being able to say *It wouldn't never happen with my child* I give her credit for this.

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

Goldbug 2-in-1 Monkey Child Safety Harness - Wal-Mart

Is this what you all are talking about? Honestly, I would rather have a parent use one of these than to have their kid running around in front of my cart or trying to jump out of theirs. Having 4 children ages 4, 3, 21 months, and 3 months, I am actually toying with the idea of getting one for my 21 month old, who is extremely active and hates being in the double stroller. Like others have said, I would rather have my child safe than to wander off or get abducted. Heck, my 21 month old would probably love to have this particular one, she'd probably think it was a backpack! I guess if you have a problem with me letting my toddler walk happily instead of screaming and throwing a fit in the stroller, oh well.

For those of you against using harnesses, is there really that much of a difference in using a harness to restrain a child versus buckling them in a stroller?

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I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow.

I have never used them. However, while I originally thought they seemed creepy, I have totally done an about face in my opinion of them.

I have seen several moms this past summer at the mall using this harness w/her 2 or 3 year old. And interestingly enough, the child actually looked like he had MORE freedom and independence than he would have if he were still stuffed in a stroller. He had a great deal of range, the mom and he walked very comfortably, and the string was drooping (showing that the child wasn't attempting to pull away) whenever I witnessed these situations.

On both of the occasions, I made a point of approaching the mom and commenting that I was impressed with her decision to use it. One of the ladies said "Thanks! He's happy, I'm happy, and it doesn't bother me much when people make disapproving remarkes/noises" - The other lady said somethng to the same effect.

Next time you see a parent and child connected by the harness, try to notice whether or not the child looks happy and independent. Interestingly enough, I think it promotes both, while keeping them safe. My opinion is that if something does that for kids, then we need to get over the fact that they remind us of dog leashes.

I never had the guts to use one, and I don't think I ever will. But I applaud anyone who does. And I tell them so.

I agree, Devinmom. I don't even remember seeing them when mine were little, but I'm certain we'd have made good use of one. Mine really wanted to be on their feet and walking rather than riding in a stroller. And they were quite capable of walking - no doubt about that. They could walk for miles and miles!

But, just because their feet can do the work doesn't mean that their brains can discern safe from dangerous. There was a time I had a 5, 3, and 1 yo, and the 3 yo and 1 yo weren't necessarily interested in the same things. In other words, one would've been wandering off one direction while the other wanted to go the other way. It seemed very limiting to make them sit in the double stroller when they so desperately wanted to be walking, but I couldn't trust that they had the wisdom to know to stay right beside me.

I can see how having the freedom to walk without the freedom to LEAVE would be a real benefit.

I think they're great. Safer than trying to hold a child's hand for hours, healthier and more interesting for an older toddler than a stroller, and much safer than not using anything at all to ensure your child's safety. It's been years since my kids had any need for them, but I used them and never saw any reason to be embarrassed or ashamed by it. What would be shameful is failing to have control of your child and then something happens to him or her. Which would you rather see your child in -- harness or a coffin?

Ditto! I agree with you 100%.

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

The only time I ever used one was when I had two under the age of 3 and we were going through the airport. It was easy to stow away in my pocket or purse during the times that it was not needed and my kids were SAFE. That was a huge concern to me.

I see nothing wrong with them at all i used it on my 6 yr old when he was younger around 2 or 3 yrs old. He liked walking with us in the mall or taking a walk on the sidewalk and i much rather use a harness then have my child dart from me and run out in the street and get killed. I don't see why they should always have to be buckled in to a stroller. There is nothing wrong with them at all. There is something wrong when you can prevent something tragic happening by using one then not using one just cause you don't like the term leash. :P

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

Please don't flame me but, I totally agree with those who said leashes are for pets. Over the years psychologists have said there is a correlation between adults who experience stomach ailments with those who as kids were harnessed.

I think the wrist strap if absolutely needed is a more humane approach. IMO :-)

foundadeal, are you envisioning something with a collar around the neck, like a puppy when you hear "leash"?

These things aren't like that at all. It's a vest sort of a thing that has a heavy cord clipped to the middle of the back. The child has far more freedom of movement than when in a stroller and is getting a lot more exercise than if he were forced to sit in a rolling chair all afternoon.

For the life of me, I can't see how there would be any correlation between a mom letting a child walk by himself through the mall with a vest on and stomach aches. Can you point us to any research done by these psychologists?

ETA: I did find this quote from Dr. Penelope Leach:


If either of you needs a change from the stroller, two other safe options are a backcarrier
(if you're up for it) or a toddler harness.
Some people feel that a harness demeans or imprisons toddlers; others feel that they're the best possible means of providing
freedom and safety. If you're uneasy about a harness, don't try to compromise with a wrist strap. If your toddler is walking at its 3
foot extent on a crowded sidewalk, someone could easily walk between you and send him flying. BabyCenter.com. Nov 2005.

Do you have a reference for this? I would like to read it if you do, as I have never heard anything like that before.

As for what I think, I think that each parent knows what is best for their child. I think there are situations where it would be safer to use one. Now, if a leash is being used in place of a parent supervising their child- that IMO is wrong.

Are these the same ones who had issues later in life because they were circumcised(sp?) as babies?

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

OUCH! What kid isn't special needs from time to time. I had a harness that was a teddy bear backpack for my monkey boy. I put the strap on my wrist and still held his hand, it was a gentle reminder not to get too far from mom. He had a choice of the bear or the stroller. He learned to stay close and now he does better holding my hand. I think this is one of those"never say never" things. Every child is different. With my daughter, I could have sat her on a bench and said "I'll be back in 3 hours." and she would have never moved. With my son, I could barely blink and he was off.

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Terri...mom to drama queen and the monkey-boy

Blessed are the parents who make their peace with spilled milk
and mud, for of such is the kingdom of childhood.

I'll look at your response as a humorous one and not mean spirited.

As far as reasearch; this is something I learned working with some of the top Freudian anaylsts in NY.
I understand the leash is not one around the neck. The harness I'm referring to is one that looks more like the kind you use on a dog, it goes around the mid-section of a child.

Not everyone believes in psychology so if you don't this may not make sense to you.

You may be able to Google this topic to see if there is any written information. I'm sure there must be, I just don't have any at hand.

I was given one (harness - used around the torso) as a gag gift at my shower - 2 years later in 1987, yes they have been around that long. we were moving and I found it. I used it one time, at the airport when we were traveling from Germany to Texas.

I had more mom's come up to me to ask where I got it, than I can tell you. I never had to use it after that. But the piece of mind it gave me in crowded terminals, wrestling diaper bag, purse, and 2 yr old is invaluable.

I don't think it should be used, as a leash. (meaning, mom's just sitting somewhere keeping their child tethered) - But if it comes down to your child's safety or being politically correct, I'll take the safety.

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Mary

I use it on my 4 year old wanderer. he can disappear in a second and when we go places and it busy he gets lost. scarey for mommy and when the kid is found he is laughing all the home.

Much more peace of mind for the parents.

Anything parents use as a substitute for watching their children is a problem. However, something that basically acts as a safety line is a great thing for kids who dart, or for getting kids through crowded areas.

I was a psych major, so I have no trouble believing in it, but you're going to have to produce some evidence of the research before I'll believe what you're claiming about leashes. If there's really such a study, you ought to be able to find something from it. Who are these top Freudian analysts, anyway?

I was in that situation every year (air port) - DD was 2, DS was 4 and took off in opposite directions in the international gates at JFK. I have never been so terrified. Thank goodness I was sitting next to a nice lady who helped. From then on DD was on a leash (it was around her chest). I got yelled at once by some b*tch who told me if I wanted to put something on a leash I needed to get a dog .............

"OUCH! What kid isn't special needs from time to time. I had a harness that was a teddy bear backpack for my monkey boy. I put the strap on my wrist and still held his hand, it was a gentle reminder not to get too far from mom. He had a choice of the bear or the stroller. He learned to stay close and now he does better holding my hand. I think this is one of those"never say never" things. Every child is different. With my daughter, I could have sat her on a bench and said "I'll be back in 3 hours." and she would have never moved. With my son, I could barely blink and he was off."

Just stating my opinion. They are tacky. Useful, maybe, but tacky none the less. The same goes for fanny packs. Sure, you can store a bunch of stuff in there, but you will not catch me wearing one.

Rebecca

I was a psych major, so I have no trouble believing in it, but you're going to have to produce some evidence of the research before I'll believe what you're claiming about leashes. If there's really such a study, you ought to be able to find something from it. Who are these top Freudian analysts, anyway?[/quote]

There were 2. The first is Dr Ruth Sharon. She has written some books, one was with Marilu Henner. Dr Sharon has been on tv several times. Her father studied with Freud in Vienna and the other Dr. I prefer not to name.

I was speaking about stomach ailments as it relates to harnesses not leashes. :-)

There were 2. The first is Dr Ruth Sharon. She has written some books, one was with the actress Marilu Henner. Dr Sharon has been on tv several times. and her father studied with Freud in Vienna and the other Dr. I prefer not to name.

I was speaking about stomach ailments as it relates to harnesses around the waist not leashes. :-)

Sorry, but I think the stomach ailment/harness connection is bogus as can be.

I have to believe that is a case of someone having a bias and going into a study with a point to prove.

I did a web search for Ruth Sharon and found nothing about this.

FOXNews.com - Hawaiian Toddler Run Over by Van in Supermarket Parking Lot - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News


check out this story please

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mom of 3 greats girls

So you don't have any direct links to any of these studies? I've googled Dr. Sharon and can't find any scholarly work by her, only the stuff with Marilu Henner. Her father appears to have had some rather unique ideas and does not appear to have been generally accepted by the psychiatric community. Not that her father's teachings or contacts should make any difference in what Dr. Sharon thinks, for good or bad.

Why would you be afraid or unwilling to name a doctor whose work supports the theory that harness or leashes are bad for children? That sounds like something we should all educate ourselves on.

Exactly. What possible reason could there be not to name the doctor