This is an old article, but something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I have been thinking about how different my childhood was from kids today....how many more responsibilities I had, how many more tough situations that I just had to get through, homework and job and activities that I needed to handle on my own. I actually had to ride my bike to get places I needed to be. The playground had asphalt not rubber mats; sometimes I skinned my knee. It was just part of growing up.

Life isn't always nice; it isn't always fair. Everyone doesn't always win. Is it really a bad thing for kids to learn that sometimes they win and sometimes they lose?

Are We Raising A Nation Of Wimps?, Contributor Lloyd Garver Says Real Life Has Winners And Losers - CBS News

So, what do you think -are we raising a nation of wimps?

I think I'll have to don my flame retardants on this one.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I dont know if wimps is the term that I would have used, but I certainly think that we are doing a disservice to our children by sheltering them from so much.
An example of this would be the awards in schools, many schools make sure that everyone gets and award or a trophy if they participated in something, even if they didn't win. I don't think that is teaching our children anything productive.

It is ok to not get picked for a team, not be the winning team all the time, to not get certificates for outstanding grades. It should make them try harder and to learn what not always succeeding feels like. Not everyone is great at everything but for the people that are great their accomplishments should be be made to feel valuable. IMHO, if you are giving awards to everyone then when a person does do something great and outstanding, it doesnt have as much importance.


My opinions are just that and they are general opinions. I dont mean for special needs kids to never get awards or anything like that. I think it is good to teach your kids that being average at something in life isnt a curse and being told no isnt the end of the world.


I think that I totally got off in another direction... sorry about that. Can you tell I have def. thought about this before? I am interested in seeing what everyone has to say and am looking forward to being enlightened and broadening my viewpoint.

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

Oh Addison, you wimp!! Say it!

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Didn't read the article...didn't need to. I agree that we are raising wimps

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I pretty much agree with everything Darlene804 said. Awards are wonderful, but they cease to become special when everyone gets one, even if that child did nothing special. I would make an exception for "Field Day" - it's just once a year, because lots of kids are not physically inclined and I think it's OK to give anyone who tries their hardest a "participation ribbon". I spent a large part of my childhood with scabs on my knees and elbows and dirty, calloused feet. My boys think they must have shoes and socks on anytime they set foot outside of the house.

I blame parents a lot too. I remember when I was in school (and that was a long time ago so my generation has just gotten worse) that moms & dads would DO their kids school projects, do their research, write their papers, etc. How do I know? I just do. I had friends whose parents admitted it to me or I saw them doing it because "little Johnny" needed that edge for his grades and entrance to college. How unprepared those kids will be when they actually have to DO their own work! I heard parents fighting with teachers over grades they thought should have been higher (I was an aid) and I have witness parents who literally try to fight coaches for not putting their kid on the team. Or worse, they are on the team and they want them playing 24/7....and they SUCK! Uh, the point is to WIN....at least last time I checked. This wasn't Tball.

So now it's hard to explain to my own kids why some kids get the higher grade on a project that is OBVIOUSLY done by the parents, not the child (gradeschool here) and the school does NOTHING.

Now, with the internet, I have seen parents asking for help and/or ideas for their child's assignment. Not trying to put down those people but that irrates me. Isn't it the CHILD's project? I know many disagree with me on this one and that's okay.

My kids are in karate as well and I like that they have tournaments where every participant gets a ribbon but only the top 4 get trophies. It teaches a child how to be a good loser. In school...they have no losers You have to baby everyone so no ones feelings get hurt.

Whoa, sorry for the rant....can you tell this bugs me?

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Sexysmurf and Addison I couldn't have said it any better. It bugs me that kids don't get to be kids anymore. They need to learn how the world works and it's our job as parents to teach them. I try, but sometimes I fail at this. I hate to see my 2 ds hurt. It bothers me as a mom to do nothing, but I TRY to put that part aside and focus on what is best for them and me always protecting them is not the best thing for them. When my oldest called me a mean mommy the first time, I told him then I must be doing a good job (I cried later on). I told him it was my job to raise him right.
Judy

Absolutely!!! Antoher thing I thought about was the school grading system. In our school district they don't give actual grades until 7th grade because they don't want to hurt their self esteem!!!!! Then when the kids get into junior high they really have no idea what it takes to get good grades. I think that's a big disservice to the kids. In first and second grades they don't teach spelling, etc... they just want the kids to get "their ideas" out and teach them in the later grades how to properly spell. Give me a break. No wonder kids get to high school and can barely read!

I totally agree. I blame it all on the parents. We had an episode last week with our football team and 5 kids were kicked off for drawing a pot plant on the "walk of fame" after being told what the limitations were prior. The did it and then signed their name and were kicked off the team for violating the players contract and code. Some of the parents wanted to hire a lawyer and fight it even though their kids admitted it. 3 of the same kids were kicked off basketball last year for drinking during the season. Parents have to make their kids responsible for their action and not coddle them.

I didn't read the article either. But yes we are raising wimps!

Our sports here are crazy with this stuff. The you have to let everyone play or everyone that tries out will make the team. It's crazy, they need to know how to deal with disappointments. kwim I was very glad this year DS has a new coach and he refused to play into it.

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I call it book smart and street dumb. It's an epidemic. We have done a great disservice to the next generation. We award kids for breathing and walking at the same time. Why should there be awards for everything anyway. An award for not missing any school? Get real, you are suppose to go to school. So you didn;t make the team? Maybe you can be the manager or go out for the school play. Alot of parents are too quick to solve the problems, let the kid figure it out. Kid forgot his lunch? One hungry afternoon will be a great lesson. Forgot his homework? Maybe he'll have to give up recess to redo it. Remember when Halloween costumes came out of your dads closet? Old clothes with a little makeup and you were a hobo. Now everyone has to outdo the other kid. Let them use their imagination. Dirt washes off. Dissappointment can be a learning experience. A new toy was earned. Chores were mandatory. Taking responsibility was non negotiable. Kids actually rode their bikes and played on swingsets. Some things were better 20 years ago

It sickens me. Everyday I see parents make there "family" decisions based on what the child wants to d and in some cases one parent tries to make a a family decision and the other parent overrides it cause little "Johnny" doesnt want to. You know what, I did a lot of stuff I didn't want to as a child, but I didn't through a fit if I didn't get my way. My parent's would have rung my neck. (That used to be a real threat..I'll ring your neck if you do that again!) Kids don't seem to respect any adults, let alone there own parents. I hold the parents responsible for this terrible outbreak of nasty behavior. Unfortunately there isn't any kind of standers for having kids. There should be a "hypothetical situation" test prior to pregnancy to see if a person qualifies to be a parent. Don't get me wrong, there are some extreme situations where a child has a REAL chemical imbalance, but letting these kids run a muck is just out of control. What ever happened to "the look"? I don't believe in beatings, but I do believe in punishing a child. The "It's not worth arguing over" is an excuse for lazy parenting in my opinion. I can get heated on this topic so I'll just leave it at that.

Yes.

I believe in survival of the fittest.

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I'm the kind of woman when my feet hit the floor in each morning, the devil says "Oh crap, she's up."

We should not only worry about wimps but also the overweight children.

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

YES!! Take a day and hang out at Jackson park!! Why is it so hard to find a family of boys that isn't raised on purell!!!

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

ok i dont have kids but this made me think of the mother/boy i seen in the supermarket just last night...
she had the kid in the top of the cart and gave him one of those sippy juice boxes.. she put the straw in and handed it to him.. he squeezed and got juice all over him and the mother was like OOOOHHHH IM SO SORRY are you ok, here let me help you! all i could do was shake my head as i walked away..

the kids giggle turned into a "im about to scream" cry
he obviously thought it was funny before the mother freaked him out lol
seriously.. are you ok???? it was juice not battery acid!
i wish i had the nerve to say something to her

I am a long time teacher. I agree with many of the things said about schools. For the last couple of years, we had a principal that thought that way too. I had to do things to keep my job that I did not agree with. We now have a new principal and we have gone back to the older methods.

Got it. Thank you.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Wimpy? We've gone beyond that point in this country. I'm not sure we'll ever get back on track.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but some of these "kids" are now in the work force and I have to tell you, dealing with some of them is a real challenge(she says with teeth clinched).
The concept of expectations and consequences escapes them entirely.
I am known at work for having a low key approach to supervising the staff on our shift but I do expect that they are there to do the job as set forth. The other day I had a young(21) man "go off" on me because I was always nitpicking at him. How dare I question him?
He got a big surprise when I didn't back down or start yelling and screaming. I invited him to take a seat in the office and I framed out my expectations of him during working hours and let him know what the consequences would be if he chose not to meet the expectations.
He was flabergasted. I don't think anyone had ever spoken to him in such a way before.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

That is what I am worried about cashchik----eventually these kids grow up and have to deal with the "real" world. How will they ever be able to manage it? Hopefully we have a lot of up and coming shrinks/therapists because we are going to need them! JMHO

head gear, arm gear, elbow gear, knee gear, ankle gear, back gear..................... are they a football player??


Nope! Just to go ride your bicycle.



need I say more?

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SPJRNTGADL!

I 100% agree that we are raising wimps. Now imagine these wimpy kids becoming wimpy adults and joining the military, They will all be curled up and crying and unable to complete the basics in boot camp. Not to mention the workforce will be depleted because they will not be able to handle the stress from everyday life.
More big money for the pharmaceutical companies because you know they will need meds to deal with that normal everyday stress that they can't handle

Each generation wants to give their child MORE than they had!
So we spoil them more and never teach them to WORK for anything.

Work doesn't hurt anyone and it sure does teach people how to survive in the word. (without welfare and handouts!)

So LAZY wimps in some cases.

Funny this comes up today. When I came into work I was asked by a supervisor to talk to another co-worker about riding the bus to work. She called off sick yesterday cause her car broke down. This particular supervisor won't accept that since he knows I ride the bus everyday. In his opinion you come in late instead of calling off for car problems.

Yes we are not only raising wimps but lazy people.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

Now for the second part of my question since it seems as if people feel this is an issue:

What do we as a society do about it?
What do we as parents do about it?
What are you personally doing about it?

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I did not read the article or most of the other replies.

I think we are raising a "me, me, me" entitlement society. I know of someone who lets her children run the entire show at her house. She doesn't want to parent,but, be a "friend""buddy" "pal". Suffice it to say, none of the kids have gone on to college, or are good at holding a job. All of them have illegitemate children, which in and of itself is not always a bad thing,but, when you pawn off the responsibility of caring for them, to others....big problem. Not nearly enuf space on the page to get into it all, but, I think we know to lay a little more responsibility on our children. Let them learn from their mistakes, and grow from that.

Replying to the above post, since I can see it.....as a parent, I don't immediately jump to my child's defense. Some might say that makes me a bad parent. I don't think so.....I'm (hopefully) teaching my child that they are accountable for their actions, and it falls on THEM.

Hate to quote Hillary, but, I believe "it takes a village"....to raise a child.

I know, probably way off topic, but, I think I got my point across.

P.S. Wanted to add......when we play family game night, we let the chips fall where they may.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

What do we as a society do about it? I don't think enough people will do anything. I know our schools won't do anything because they are usually required to be this way No child left behind...in schooling and in life so it seems...good grief

What do we as parents do about it? stop trying to be our kid's friend...be their parent! Lay down the law and make concequences if they do not. Go back to the roots of parenting of our grandparents. Stop big brother from telling us when/how we can discipline our children. It's none of their business. We can't do anything without worrying if we'll get arrested because someone deems it "abuse"

What are you personally doing about it? I am a PARENT...not a "Friend". I try to set my kids up for a few failures so they know what it feels like. Nothing worse than a child who doesn't know how to lose or not be the best. They need to know they are human...not perfection. I do not dress my kids in top $$$ clothes. Although we live in a nice home, we do not cater to our kids whims. I know lots of people with less $$ than we do whose kids have tons more than mine. They have to earn things...they aren't given all the time. We are not a "kid centric" household. We rule the roost. This is so not what 90% of the households we know do. They are kid centric. We don't involve the kids in activities where "everyone wins"...that's hard to do. We tell them to "go outside and play" instead of playing video games all day. We try to teach them to think of others before ourselves and our son will help shovel snow for neighbors and we do not pay him for it. We try to reward to hard work above and beyond the call of duty...not just for what you should do. I hope we are teaching them to be contributors to our society...not leaches or lazy ass people

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I think people need to use a combination of parenting skills.
You need to let them be a kid..doing things that kids love to do... But still properly supervise their activites. Yes, there were things I did as a child that I would not let me kids be nowdays. Too many "bad" people out there to harm kids nowdays.
You have to teach them to be tough but senstive. Book sense along with common sense. Teach them how to strive for things but also learn how to handle disappoints, Give them the encouragement and help they need to succeed without smothering them.
Give them a set of morals and values to live by living them yourself. Yes, being a parent is the hardest job.