I have this wonderful, beautiful, six month old daughter. My first child. I live in fear that something will happen to her, that she will die of SIDS or in a car accident or something. Is it like that forever? Do you always live with this fear in your gut that something will happen to your child? I have a faith so I try to lean on that, but I just know if something ever happened to her I would never recover.

I know we have MC friends who are dealing with this horrible reality at this very moment.

Why do I think about it so much?

Here are some recent pics of my sweet girl.

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/a...7/IMG_4202.jpg

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/a...7/IMG_4085.jpg

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

My son is 10 years old and I still feel that way.

I constantly freaked out everything when he was a baby. And still freak out about everything even though he is older.

I still make sure he is breathing if I wake up at night. Make sure he has common sense in situations (if someone grabs you, kick, flail, yell, scream, etc...), and always memorize what he is wearing when I drop him off at school.

He is an only child, and at times I wonder if that is why I am so neurotic. But I tell myself that I am a good, protective mother.

I agree, it seems to get worse the older mine gets. I try so hard just to let him "be a boy" but it sure keeps me tied in knots with worry.

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Mom to 3 - one with 2 legs and 2with 4!

It is hard. As the mother of 4, I still have that problem. We have had medical mysteries since they were all young. They are ok now. I am a nurse and I worry about a lot. Now my biggest fear is their physical safety. My 20 year old of course, thinks nothing can happen to her. My middle 2 are much easier to deal with about it. My 10 year old I know I drive her crazy but you can't just let her ride her bike around the corner by herself and we live in a very small, safe community. I can't get out of my mind all the terrible things that are going on. I hate it and try to be ever vigilant when we are out but it is hard.

Just like the other person said, enjoy her and love her and try to do the best that you can.

Wait until the teenage years... dating,driving,parties,staying out.... You can teach them the best and then just hold your breath..

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"Never loan your car to someone you have given birth too"

I have 16 yr old and 23 yr old sons. I still worry ALOT but I am a worrier by nature. I love them soooo much. It would help to try to think about all the bad things that DON"T happen and how low the odds are that something bad will happen. It helps to put it in perspective. And pray! There are also some good things out there-like cell phones!!!! I might have had a nervous breakdown when my oldest one started driving if he didn't have that cell phone with him! You just have to teach them stranger danger more than when we were growing up. Although I'm 51 and my mom used to worry about us getting kidnapped! (Genetic worrying!) When I taught my oldest one stranger danger I told him that if he ever got taken or tried to get snatched to scream so loud it would break the persons eardrum! He thought that was such a cool thing to do that he always remembered he should scream! Gotta think of things that will stick with your kids personality. Try not to worry too much and enjoy everything! When you start worrying try to change the thought into a good thought! They really do grow up quickly.

It took us nearly 10 yrs to get our son. I don't expect to be blessed again, so I'm afraid I am going to be extremely over protective. He is just 4 months now. When he is sleeping I am constantly hovering over him checking to see if he is breathing. I am constantly terrified something will happen to him.

A good friend (much older than I) once told me "Once a mother, always a mother". So true. My boys are grown, but I vividly remember the first walk to the ice cream place with a friend (crossing a major street), the first car ride home with a friend, etc, etc. Fast forward to today and DS #2 currently in Burma. I guess it never ends. It's natural to worry and think the worst, but we really can't drive ourselves crazy by thinking too much. Try to enjoy each moment and stage of life, and appreciate what you have.

Your feelings are so normal!! I still remember this funny blurb in a cartoon - a man was referring to his very pregnant-looking wife - he quipped "I can't wait until she just has this baby, so things can go back to normal!"

That, to me, is hilarious.

I never felt normal again after having my 1st baby. Every worry I had was about her. I was relieved each morning that she was the type of baby who cried when she woke herself. I honestly remember thinking very often: "Yes!! She made it through another night." Bear in mind, she had no health problems - I just was convinced that she was too good to be true, and someday she'd be gone.

Well, I've learned to live with my fears, and I remind myself that the love I have for my kids FAR surpasses the anxiety level I now cope with on a daily basis. And, as you read all these responses, I hope it makes you feel better to realize how NORMAL it really is to be so paranoid as "a new mom," and eventually as just "a mom!"

I also think it made me feel less crazy when I started my first playgroup. At this very young age, the playgroups weren't so much for the baby as they were for the moms!!! We need each other - mostly to make us feel okay about the extremes in our emotions about our babies. Other moms have proven to be the most important people in my life at different times. Use them. And be there for them. You probably will make a new mom feel better one day when you share the worries you once had with her!

Good luck. And BTW, that is a beautiful baby!! Congratulations.

yes its normal & yes it only gets worse if you are like that I dont really know if all parents are like that but I am one of them when first dd was born I only let her use afgans because they had holes in them & I didnt want her to suffocate & my dad made me put a breathing deal in her crib in case she stopped breathing my dad was a freak about worrying about us kids then he really got worried when I had my dd because we all lived together still so I get my worrying from my dad I worry myself sick sometimes about my kids & have been told its not normal to worry so much but I cant help it

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mom of 3 greats girls

Since I stood in the drive way and cried while my son drove away alone for the first time, I am going to have to tell you that it doesnt get easier. It gets different but it doesnt get easier. Now I worry about the people he is with, the other drivers on the road and exactly how many ways can I come up with to keep him home.

I think that worrying is a mothers job. It should not be all consuming and it should not be something that comes between you and a healthy life. Are you missing a lot of sleep because you are worried? Do you feel like you arent eating well cause worrying has your nerves or stomach upset? I would say that if you are worrying to these extremes then maybe it is something to talk to someone about. If not, then I say worry away and welcome to motherhood, you have a beautiful baby!

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

Oh, she is soooooo cute!!

The worrying has not gotten better for me. My girls are 7 and 9 and I worry about EVERYTHING. And on the flip side, I worry that something will happen to me and leave them without a mom. They depend on me and are so close to me so that thought is very present with me also.
You may not always worry about the same things but you'll probably always worry. I worried about their first steps, would they fall, would they get hurt, etc. Then I worried about them going to school.....would the teachers and workers there protect them like I would....of course not, no one will protect them like I do. I know I'll be frantic the first time they drive alone or go on a date.

Sorry, OP, but nope, it doesn't get easier. Like another poster said, 'always a mother'. My two boys are almost 24 and I still worry about them. Everytime my son who lives with us leaves in the car, I always say 'I love you. Be careful.' And then the other one is in law enforcement and lives with his wife about 4 hours away. Everytime I talk to him on the phone I always say "I love you, be careful and watch your back."

Enjoy your children and love them is the best advice I can give.

I am not a worrier. Are there times I worry about my kids? Sure. But not excessively. There are just too many things I know I have no control over. I am very concerned about safety and have always taken reasonable precautions. Even as teens, my kids weren't allowed to ride their bikes on our road due to the traffic. It just wasn't safe. But, I just can't see worrying about things I have no control over. Now my kids are away, My dd is married and they travel quite a bit. I think about their safety, but usually say a quick prayer and give them to God. Now, I DO worry about my ds's driving! lol But, again, I have no control over it.

OP, do all you can to make sure your precious baby is safe, but just enjoy her the rest of the time. She's quite a cutie btw!!

After we had Eryn, hubby and I would both check on her to make sure she was still breathing. She was my 2nd and his 1st. There's 8 years between her and my 1st, so it was like starting all over again for me. So, it was like we were 1st time parents of an infant together. LOL It took us almost five years to get her and I was SO afraid that something would happen to her. We were the same way with #3.

I'm probably more paranoid than hubby, but that's just how it goes, I guess. I worry about the older two getting on the bus and going to school. I worry about stupid things, sometimes. Like when I was in Niagara Falls a few months ago, I thought "what would I do if Lauren (who's 13) fell over the falls?" Not like it would have happened, but still.

I worry about someone taking them, too.

So, to answer your question, OP, no it doesn't get any easier! LOL You'll worry about your kids always and when they get married, you'll worry about their spouse and your grandkids (according to MIL). Just part of being a mother, I guess!

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

Thank you everyone for the responses. I actually feel better now, even though you all have said it doesn't get easier. I feel better because it is apparently normal and it isn't like my worrying is a premonition that something is actually going to happen. I got teary three times today just looking at her. I can't believe this wonderful gift has been given to me. But now, hopefully, I can relax a little bit more and let myself just enjoy her. Thanks again Mamas!!

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

I can STILL get teary eyed thinking of my blessings with my boys! It always helps to talk with other moms!!! Enjoy!!!!

she is such a doll-just enjoy her and love her every minute of the day-there is so much in our control, but yet we have such little control. I mean, you worry about the first day of kindergarten, the first time they get rejected by a playmate, getting a driver's license, etc., etc., etc. There will always be something to worry about-no matter the month or the milestone. Yes, you are totally normal!

Your little girl is beautiful! What a cutie.

I personally think that it does get easier in the grade school years. Looking back, I think those years went quite smoothly and I didn't worry about too much with regards to my kids health and safety. I do think it helps relax parents a bit when they have a second (or more) child...you get more confident becuase you've done it before.

But that's the calm before the storm.....high school, driving, what they're going to do with their lives, etc! LOL The worry and concern come back in spades!

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

The feelings never go away. It is simply because they matter so much. Parenting is SO hard because, again, it matters so much. You will find that the joys help level out the fears!

I still walk into my kids rooms and put my hand on their chest just to make sure they are still breathing......my oldest is 12. I think you start to worry about more things the older they get.

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

I never worried excessively about losing my son but yes I do worry still and he is nearly 22. I think the worry evolves into a different type of worry. I don't worry about where he is sleeping at night (in his apartment) but every morning during the news if I hear about an accident I listen to make sure its not him.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

Concern, yes. Obsessive worrying, no.

It doesn't get easier. I still worry about my kids alot. Both of mine have severe food allergies so every time the phone rings during lunch I hold my breath that it isn't the school calling for a reaction.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

She's Beautiful and I have 3 girls 10 and up and it gets worse!!!!

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

My 16 year old son has a peanut allergy. I know how that is. Right now he has this huge swollen gland on his jaw about midway. I took him to the doctor yeaterday and he's now on Augmentin and has to put a warm comptress on it four times a day and go back for a recheck on Thursday. He may be allergic to Ceclor and since this one is similar we also need to watch for an allegric reaction. So last night I did go check on him to make sure he was breathing and looked ok in the middle of the night!!! lol I guess it never stops....

I'm sorry to say, but I think that the "fear" stays the same or gets a bit worse. When they are small, you have control over them and can guard them...where they go, what they do, who they are with, etc...As they go off to school and out into the world, things change. My 16 year old son just started driving last month. I worry about him every time he leaves the house although he's a good, intelligent boy. I just try to have faith and pray that nothing bad ever happens to any of them (I have three kids). Some things are just out of our control though unfortunately. You can't smother them or hover over them...I have a neighbor who does that and it drives me nuts. She just won't let the kid be a kid. She's always practically on top of him every second. It's easy to say "oh, just put it out of your mind and don't think like that"...very hard not to when you love them so much. The world today is such a crazy place...we just have to try to have faith that God is watching over us. ~Lisa

The worry will never leave. I use to worry about my DS because he was sick all of the time. I worry about my DD and her self esteem issues and the fact that sometimes kids at school don't help. It seems like they all know that she is insecure about some things so they pick at her. It really pisses me off. One of the conversations even led into my DD telling the other students it's people like them that cause other kids to commit suicide. That scared me. You know what those kids said to her? They just replied with "Will you?" Those little middle school low life brats I'd like to slap the crap out of them. Sorry I know they are all kids but that is just how I feel. I don't care how much money they have, thier little attitudes show they are spoiled brats and don't care about no one but themselves.

Ok sorry I went on a tangent but to be honest it felt good.

I don't blame you-I'd want to slap 'em too! I read somewhere that actually parents have the greatest influence so just keep supporting and loving her!

honestly, I think the feeling never goes away... it just changes with the age of the child.

(bigger the child, the bigger the worry, the bigger the headache, the bigger the cost to fix the problem).

My "baby" is 16 now, and oh boy!!!

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SPJRNTGADL!

I have a friend who tells me that same thing all of the time, she has kids in high school and we are barely making it through Kindergarten!


It doesn't get easier it just gets different.

At the end of school last year a little girls died at field day, a kindergartener. It really made me think, you never know when something could happen, appreciate every moment you have, it sounds like you do and that is the best mom you can be. I wish I had a baby to cuddle with again, I'm jealous.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer