How old were your kids when you gave them the sex talk? What did you say?

After reading about the 5th grade pregnant girls I realized my son is only 2 years away from that. He has no idea what sex is. Now I am thinking maybe I need to have the talk.

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I will tell mine before middle school for sure!

My son is almost 9 and starting to need deodorant so I know the talk is coming soon. He's only in 3rd grade!

I teach the special Education and Handicap kids in middle school grades 6-8........... believe me, they know what sex is before they hit middle school.............. But what they don't understand is the "sex" that they have been told about from their friends is not the sex talk that we parents are going to have with them. I don't think 9 is to young to start the "sex" talk. Just pick and choose your words, and don't get to graphic with them. I let my kids dad do the deed and it didn't turn out to well........ ya know men!.

but I did discuss( actually enforced) abstinence with my kids..... and I still do..... and they are all older the last one at home is almost 17 and I know he is having sex......... We have talked about it and how I wanted him to wait. Now we discuss, condoms, marriage and child support. lol, staying in school and good grades, getting his life on track and all else will fall in place. Kids nowadays , they want to feel wanted,. and special............ I dont get it.... I really dont. Thats all I get from my kids at school, and they dont understand what sex is .

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

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we had "the talk" quite recently. My kids are 6 and 8. We bought "It's not the stork" for both of them. We took our 8 year old DS aside and went beyond the book and told him about sex being saved for someone you really love and that you really don't know you love someone until you are MUCH older...an adult. When he's a couple years older (around 10), we'll go more in depth about oral sex, disease, extended talks on pregnancy, protection and responsibility. We want him to know that if he helps make a baby, we will make him support it! So many parents seem to think "it's the girl's fault" and not make their son's responsible for supporting the child. I also want them to think about their futures and that the immediate gratification that sex can give you (on both physical and emotional levels), is false at such young ages...and that you can end up wounded even worse than if you didn't engage

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We started, gosh it seems like it was around first or second grade. We weren't graphic or anything. But now omg they are 13 and 16 and believe me they no pretty darn close to everything. The ages they are now they do get graphic now. It's probably worse, maybe not the right word, because I have let them ask what they wanted and answered them honestly.

Honestly, I haven't forced abstinance on them. I have told them how very special the first time was and that it is something they will never forget. They know that my big thing is that they be completelyl in love the first time. That it isn't something to do willy nilly. kwim I do know that DS 16 does carry a condom in his wallet. I'm about 99% sure he hasn't had sex. But this is the first year he has really wanted to "run" with his friends.

I have no doubts that if there is something they wanted to know about that they would ask. They have. Some of the things that are talked about here I would love for the floor to open up and swallow me. I am glad they feel free enough to talk to us. Growing up we weren't allowed to even let our parents think that sex ever crossed our minds. (Could explain why my 2 sisters ended up pregnant while in high school.)

Laura

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I have a 10 year old daughter in 5th grade and an 11 year old son in 6th grade. My daughter and I just had "the talk" a couple of months ago. Whenever I try to have the talk with my son he suddenly has something to do. I want to do have it before the sex education class they get at the end of the year in 6th grade.

Laura,

this is our plan as well as our kids age. We want to be able to answer their questions honestly in ways our parents did not for us. DH never got "the talk" and I got it, but it was strickly about what sex is: emotions, how it's done, and you can get pregnant or diseases. I never got a talk about all the details of sex beyond the very bare basics (and I just don't feel that's enough because it did not include oral sex which I think is VERY important to talk about...especially give our other thread regarding it).

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Well hopefully no one will think we're totally crazy, but we started telling the kids about sex long before some of them were in school. We hadn't really planned it that way. With 6 kids, the older ones were curious about how the newer ones kept showing up, and we decided to be honest and tell them. We weren't graphic, and only told each child what they could understand at the time, and as they get older we continue on the conversation with more detail. I'm glad we have done it this way, it has opened up a line of communication between myself and my kids that I'm afraid may have not been there, if we had waited till they were older. My oldest DD is 12 feel very open about asking me questions, and I'm thankful for that because some of the things she hears from friends are far from the truth.....

I think everyone has to do what is comfortable for them and their children.

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