Well the Holidays are approaching and personally my favorite time of the year. With that said it's the busiest time and the most stressful this year because of a family member I am not speaking to (long story). What is your biggest stress of the Holidays? Gift buying/shopping......Cooking........Problems with family.....etc. I was talkiing to my neighbor and she said here we go with the dreaded holiday season where I have to run over everyones house to make them happy and I thought to myself how many of us have Holiday Stress.

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

For me this year, it's making sure that my kids can still enjoy the holidays with Dad gone, and worrying that DH is alright during this time too.

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

Both sides of our family live close by and have never given up the holidays. We are expected (after 18 years of marriage and 2 kids) to be at both sides of the family for dinner at some point.

Thanksgiving is his family on Thursday, my family on Friday.

Christmas is (all on Christmas Day) our house in the early AM, my side mid-am to early pm for dinner and his side late pm for dinner, then back to our house to meet my sister & her family who live out of town but don't like to stay with our parents so they stay with us.

I know we should put our foot down and stay home and, believe me, we've tried. But, then the guilt trips start from both sides and my kids want to see their cousins - who will be at the parent's houses.

I really do like the holidays, but it is stressful. I try to just be thankful that our families are close and want everyone there.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

Gift-giving... finding something that people truly like and that won't feel like *clutter* to them AND won't cost us a fortune!

We get to go to my overly uptight anal sisters and her even more anal husband house. They live next to the doctors and lawyers and treats our family second class. ( our homes are more 130k range) Iwould rather just sit here with my husband and kids all day. That is my biggest stress. driving to pa to be stressed because she stresses over everything.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

family hands down. When I first got engaged, my mom pulled me aside and told me that Christmas Eve with MY family is NON NEGOTIABLE. Every member of my family that lives in state (including aunt and cousins), has never messed a Christmas Eve together (that's when we celebrate "the day"). Well, we used to drive up on xmas day to my inlaws who lived 3 hours away. Not a great drive but DH deserves xmas with his family too. Well. last year inlaws moved 6.5 hours away (to another state). I REALLY don't want to drive that long on xmas day. My grandpas passed away this last Feb and we had talked about not doing xmas with my family but "it could be grandpa's last xmas" was always what my family said So, he's gone now but at age 33, I've never not had xmas with my family. It's a tough situation. I tried telling my mom we might not be there and WHOA...I got the emotional feedback I wasn't looking for. It's her first xmas without either of her parents (grandma passed 9 years ago) and if her child wasn't there....

Hang myself with the guilt trip rope!

I will figure it out BUT...it's not fun...for anyone and that's what it should be.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Weight Gain!!!! I love to bake and make candies during the holidays but I stress big time when my clothes dont fit at the beginning of the year I have a huge sweet tooth but the cooking is part of a tradition and it wouldnt feel like Christmas without it

My dad was in Viet Nam one Christmas and my mom kept everything as normal as she could.

We didn't have video cameras or anything but mom took pics of us and when they were developed she gave us each the pics of us opening our gifts, and we wrote a note on the back to our dad about that gift. Mom sent them to my dad.

We had sent a box to my dad in September! for his Christmas and in February we also got a letter with pics in it with him opening his gifts and writing each of us a note on the back of the pic with the gift we gave him. (You think they had that planned? )

I think that was the best Christmas any of us had in February!

When we were feeling sad that my dad was not there, she told us one thing I will never forget. "Remember, we have each other, Daddy has no-one" (meaning no family)

It made us have a little less self-pity and made us more thoughtful about what he was going through.

I'm sure you're going to do great, mabear!

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Mary

The part I hate most is rushing from place to place to satisfy all the family members. Last year we got lucky -- DH's parents went to visit his sister out of state, so we spent the whole day at home with my parents & sister. But, of course, we'll pay for it this year -- DH's sister is coming for Christmas, so we'll have to spend 1/2 the day with my family and then the rest of the day with his family and for his family, it has to be on Christmas day -- not a day or two before or after.

I would prefer just to have everyone over to our house (even if it means cooking and cleaning, etc.), but his family won't come over if they know my family will be there and they also won't invite my family over either.

We have tried to suggest the 'every other year' thing and alternate between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but my parents almost always go away on vacation over Thanksgiving and DH's parents have said they will be going to visit DH's sister every other year for Christmas, so that won't work either <ugh>.

Sarah.......mom to Jason & Devin

I really don't stress over anything. I dread going to a certain relative's house, however, I do not stress over it. Just not worth wasting that much energy.

feeling sad.....
my mom is coming at teh end of november from france,she will stay with us for 3 months. 2 and a half years ago,my dad and her planned on coming this year for christmas.my dad passed away last year.
the last Christmas i spent with my dad was in 1996!!!

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By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends

We have great kids, a nice home and we always have lots of love for the holidays. I know that should be enough but with us, it's always financial stress. Buying for the boys gets hard because it's so expensive, I guess it's peer pressure because all their friends get pricy gifts.

I know we shouldn't try to keep up, we always say we won't but realistically........it's another thing.

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Catt
~ Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my mother - after all! ~

Usually Christmas here isn't stressful- x mas eve we go to my sisters for my family,x mas day we do "our" family, Christmas night we go to my husbands family. However my sons father just passed away and I think that will be our stressor this year.

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"Never loan your car to someone you have given birth too"

*m*o*n*e*y*

Of course, I somewhat worry about the $ as far as family/relatives, BUT my truly biggest worry is affording Santa Claus for my kids.

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

I think it's so sad that some of my relatives stopped coming to the family get-togethers.

It's one TIME out of the entire YEAR!

Life is so precious and when people are gone, the "I wish" factor comes out! (I wish I would have spent more time with them, I wish they would have known how much they meant to me, etc...).

Ugh...here's my point...

I have an aunt who has decided to remove Christmas from Christmas day. She says Christmas is for family (duh!) and she envisions her family being at her house all day just lounging and relaxing. No problem...let her have her vision of sugarplums...anyway, for YEARS she and her family (sons, daughter, and son and daughter in law) stopped coming to the get-togethers...

with that said, three years ago my uncle (her brother) FINALLY decided to come out of the closet. I live in a bigger city with a huge melting pot of cultures but grew up in a small town with closed minds. Needless to say, I am his biggest supporter (with the fact he finally got honest with his life).

Well, she decided last year that she wanted to have Christmas this year at her house but the week before Christmas...wtf?? My parents have hosted Christmas for the last 15 YEARS and everyone was happy with the outcome. My mom (her sister) comes from a family of 10 kids so we need a HUGE hall and my dad's church hall rents for $25. Guess who she didn't invite and even threatened if he did come...yep, the gay brother!

My mother is so up-in-arms about the whole thing (mom is second oldest) because she has unconditional love for all her siblings but she is easily swayed by the hurtful things this sister says about him. Then my sister and I come in and set her straight.

Regardless...the whole reason she did this was she missed having her siblings and parents around at Christmas that she decided to take it over for herself. My mom was truely hurt by this because she, again, has hosted Christmas for 15 years (she doesn't make waves and dad threatens the very core of my life - and my sister's life if we would say anything)! We didn't get our pasties (pronounced past-ties...a savory steak and onion filled pastry that is served with gravy or lots of ketchup) that we have been having since before I was a twinkle in mom's eye and we held Christmas in a cold three-car garage with folding tables and chairs. At least dad's church had padded chairs with tables that you could fit ten people around, it was heated, and had a fake christmas tree (and welcomed all including my husbands side of the family among other in-laws and my estranged uncle).

Anyway...this time of year I dread change. With a new baby and a toddler, we have structure. We know we have three parties on Christmas eve, we know we have three parties on Christmas day. With all the changes, we don't know if we have that day off or if we are working and if we are working will we miss that party? At least with Christmas and Eve, we know we have the day off to spend with loved ones. I LOVE family and I love the get-togethers...my father instilled huge family values in me that it makes me sad that my aunt's children scoff at having to go see family. They are great kids but they would rather go party with friends than have to visit grandma. Even the married ones!! I know, they are adults and it's their decision BUT come on!! It's one TIME out of the WHOLE year!

This time of year that everyone dreads so much trying to "please" everyone...just remember one thing. You are special to someone and someone loves your family to be at their party so go to their party and live, laugh, and love. One day, that annoying party that you HAD to go to won't be around. And instead of parties, you will be seeing that side of the family only at funerals. It happens to every family one way or another.

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It is worrying about what kind of 'crazy' plans my in-laws will pop on us. DH's sisters live 2 & 7 hours away. His family is always coming up with some kind of crazy plans that we are just expected to conform to. They never consult our schedules before they come up with their super weird ideas. Like the year we had to rush to the sister's house who lives 2 hours away on Christmas day after lunch with my family even though the other sister was not coming until the next day. They were late in the day arriving because they wanted to relax - nevermind DH & I had to drive over 2 hours home because we had to be back at work. NEVER AGAIN - if they make plans and expect me to conform and it does not fit my schedule - TOO STINKING BAD!! Yes I am the major out-law in all forms but hubby supports me because the plans usually make him mad as well.

MONEY!!!!!! My daughters have always had a fantastic Christmas, because I always loaded up credit cards and blew it to get above and beyond what they wanted. Now they are older, 18 and 20, and I have a beautiful little baby boy, who will be 15 months old. I just love everything about the holidays though, the music, the beautiful decorations, family. So we will be fine. I'm sure they don't worry about it like I do. I have a weird sister (my only relative) who trips out about the boyfriends or whomever coming to the holiday dinner, she just doesn't get that you can't control everything. Man, I have too many serious things to worry about!

My biggest Stress is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ My hubby was laid off for the past 5 months & just started working again, so were playing catch up.

Wrapping presents and keeping Santa gifts hidden until Xmas.

All of the family craptaculars. Trying to afford gifts for 4 kids. Getting everything done.

Driving home... family events (xmas eve dh family, xmas morning my family, xmas day dh extended family). My grandmother is in a rehabilitation facility (nursing home) this year- which will be so odd. I am honestly worried about that.