I asked for help in interviewing for jobs the other day.....well I got a job. I will be working in the first grade class as an aide in a public school. I have worked in a private school where my kids have always gone to school for a while now. My kids are in 4th grade and 7th grade.

Here is my problem. I told my daughter today that I was changing jobs. She started sobbing. She is very upset. She has always had me close by so this is hard for her. My fourth grader, is more adaptable. My daughter in 7th grade has always been very very shy. We are going to change them to the public school, not the one I will be at. I have not told them, but probably will tommorrow night. I can only imagine my daughters reaction. I feel its the best decision for many reasons, but I know she is not going to understand. Has anyone else been through this? She doesnt know anyone at this school.
A friend of mine is checking to see if she knows anyone attending there so we can introduce her to someone. Any thoughts....

Being a parent is really hard. I feel like I am breaking her heart. I really feel in the long run that it is the best decision.

Thanks in advance.

I don't know why you think it's the best decision, but here's my opinion: I don't think it's the right decision--ESPECIALLY for the 7th grader. It's the middle of a school year, you're placing them in a new school, in the middle of the year. Being 12/13 is hard enough, but add in a pre-disposition for shyness, a new school, in the middle of the year? I think that is going to prove very difficult for her and for the whole family. I would strongly suggest rethinking the change of schools. But, that's just my opinion and you have to do what is right for you and your family

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

We talked about waiting until next school year to move them, but I figure she will just worry until then.
For one thing, I will not get a discount on her schooling anymore, so I cannot afford to leave her there.
She is in a program, just started this year of doing paces. I dont like the pace system.
I may talk to my husband about letting her finish the year out, I just dont know if it would be worse for her to spend the rest of the year worrying about the move.

ok,I changed my dd in the middle of teh school year last year in 7th grade.and it went very well.
first off ,don;t sweat it too much.your dd will pick up on your anxiety.
finding a buddy is crucial IMO.and she will be the new attraction in the class,and mor elikely will be able to make friends.
go to the school and ask if someone could do that.in my dd school there is a comitte type thing for newbie.sure it will be strange at first ,but she will be OK.
one thing though,you might not get the best classes in the middle of the year.they will put your dd wherever they can fit her.
anyway,good luck in whatever you are chosing to do.

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By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends

If you waited until end of year--she might be able to participate in activities during summer that would introduce her to kids that would be in her "new" school.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

First off it is NOT the middle of the school year yet so if I was going to do it I would do it now. I changed schools for my boys which I stressed over. It was about the end of September. Of course my boys arein 2nd & 4th grade but my 4th grader tends to be shy so this was hard. We also have had another baby this year so lots of changes going on.

Anyways my boys were really scared 1st day. Mds (7yr) almost started crying when I left. In fact I found out later he did cry with his teacher. That was the worst of it though. I found out there was lots of afterschool programs so I made sure that which i know they love to do. I made sure that they could sign up. I would also make sure that they have a buddy the 1st couple of days. That was the hardest on my 4th grader. In the beginning they really didn't show him what to do regarding cold lunch vs hot lunch, homework policies etc. I had to call and talk with the teacher because he was confused and wouldn't ask. We got it all straightened out and my ods knew that I was still involved even though I wasn't there all the time. At his old school I drove them so I was there every day. At his new school he takes the bus so I am not always there.

Anyways sorry so long winded. I think that you have to do what is best for your family. I stressed way too much over changing schools. I think really you should do it quickly so that they get a chance to make friends if you wait too long they won't be able to bond.

Good luck! I know parenting is hard.

Oh, the most important part my boys are HAPPY! They tell me they like this school better than the old school. Sure they miss the old school every now and then but over all they are fine!

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Melanie SAHM to my two wonderful boys! Brandon 9yr & Hayden 6 yr & Spencer 4/20/07

I think in the end that this will be a good experience for your 7th grader. Change is really a fact of life....especially in the work place. Adapting to change is difficult, but is an important skill. It is also a good time for her to begin developing independence....

Good luck with the change!

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

My SIL took her kids out of the small private school they had attended from kindegarten. One was in 5th, one was in 2. They were sent to public school in a not great district. They were in the process of moving to a better community and staying with my MIL at the time. It was quite traumatic with a lot of screaming and crying. MY SIL was beside herself with guilt and worry. It was a very big deal. They found a new home and were in a good smaller school district by January, another asjustment for the kids. Circumstance are different here, but it can be a very unpleasant ordeal.

I moved my kids when they were 2 months into 5th and 8th grades. It was a little tense at first... for a week or so, but they did great.

I was more worried about the 8th grader because of all the teenage hormones and such. He was a bit on the shy side but honestly the move helped him overcome that. He had to talk to people because they were all asking him questions. He fell in with a really good group of kids and 3 years later you cant even tell that his friends and him havent been together the whole time.

Best of luck on your decision. I would say though, if you are going to switch schools, it is better to do it now then wait until further in the year.

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

Thanks so much for the advice.

My husband and I talked again and we are going to do it right away. I plan to talk to the kids tonight. I think my 4th grader will do fine. He will find a few kids that like to kick soccer balls around and that will be that.

The school she goes to know only has 12 kids in 7th thru 12th grade. She sits in a cubicle and works on paces all day. I want her to have more interactions.

The school district we live in has a very good reputation so that should help. High test scores etc...
We do not plan on moving so this should be it as far as moves go.

I did talk to my daughter about change last night, in regards to my job switching. She keeps asking, what if I decide that changing jobs is not the right decision. I explained to her that you cannot nver change anything because it might be a mistake. I grew up a military brat so I was used to change.

Thanks again for all the advice.

I am going to walk down and talk to someone who has a boy her age (down the street) and see if she knows any nice girls that live nearby.

I changed my kids from a small private to public school. It's been a good move. My children are learning MORE at public school. I cann't believed I paid for school all those years. I thought that if I paid for it I was getting the best education I could for my children.

All 3 of my kids adjusted well. Middle school is hard but I think sitting in a cube and doing school work all day seems to much like a boring job that you hate.

Good luck on whatever you do. I know its hard.

We just moved a month ago, I was really worried about my son, being in 3rd grade (and I was a military brat too, and remember moving in the middle of 3rd grade - to and from the same states we just moved also.. and it was so hard! I had to get tutored on the stuff the new school was further ahead on).

My son sometimes complains that I messed everything up, making us move, but doesn't complain all that often. I think for the most part the move is a good thing. I don't like how the school is always sending home this and that requesting money. Field trips are a "voluntary donation up to $__" which of course we feel like we need to pay. They say they try to supply all the school supplies, but give you a "wish list" of all the school supplies. School pictures.. I guess you pay ahead of time here, and man were they expensive, so I'm passing and just taking them somewhere instead. At least lunch is cheaper here!

Well I just told the kids. They both started crying. My son has finally calmed down and is talking positive about it now. My daughter has not come around. I know it will be tough. We are getting ready to drive by and see the schools. My daugher says she isnt going to go to this school. Its going to be rough but we will get through this.

Thanks again for all your advice.

Well, you know my opinion. I really believe you are doing the right thing. Your DD is such a worrier that it would not be good for her to know she is going to be moving to another school. I think she will adapt to the new school better then you think, but you will not be popular in your house for awhile!

I have not heard back from the Emails I sent out, but will keep asking!

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Nutella,....
proving some of the best things in life come in a jar.