I have a great bunch of gals I meet up with once a week so our kids can all play together. Most of them are dressed head to toe in designer clothes, as are their children (and they look fabulous, but the way). I don't know how they can afford this--their dh's make a fraction of what my dh makes--and they have new cars, gorgeous houses, take lavish vacations...etc. We could afford all of these things if we wanted to live paycheck to paycheck, which I don't, but I feel so, I don't know, FRUMPY all the time. I wouldn't mind putting down a few dollars for something nice and good quality, but I don't know where to begin--what stores sell designer things? What are some popular designer names? Do they sell these things on Ebay? I'm used to wearing clearance clothes due to hubby being in school for so long and having to scrape by so this is unfamiliar territory for me. It would just be easier if someone would nominate me to be on "What not to wear" but I don't see that happening any time soon! Help me ladies!

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I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow.

I'll nominate you... But don't I need to know how you dress? Hehe, Don't worry, most of those women are probably swimming up to their eyeballs in debt. Don't worry about what they have, because chances are, they can't afford it. I like to watch the Oprah's where she shows families who have it all, and can't afford it.

Designer clothes can be had from Ross or TJMaxx or most mall department stores. Instead of worrying about names on labels, how about some classic pieces that will make you look like you were dressed by the best designer? You want jeans that fit, straight leg (or super skinny if you are thin), dark wash. Pair them with a classic white blouse or a well fitted tank top and you are good to go. At the park, wear sandals or colorful tennis shoes. Going out to dinner, wear pointy toed heels.

Other pieces you should probably have are classic black trousers, nice khakis, white Tshirt, good denim blazer style jacket (it is amazing how DRESSED you look when you toss a blazer over a basic shirt & jeans), nice fitting sweaters.

I vote to get over labels, just get stuff that fits right. And just to let you know...my FAVORITE jeans and dress pants are actually from Target. Mossimo are great jeans and Merona has great fitting dress pants.

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

Oh yeah...I meant to mention that as well. Wearing designer duds does not mean they have it all. Wearing a $200 outfit and having to charge a $15 lunch is a bad plan.

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

I get my designer stuff at Macys and Lord and Taylor, when they have clearance sales. I do the same for my kids. Usually twice a year I hit the Lord and Taylor sales where they have stuff for $9.99, 11.99 and 14.99. Just a few weeks ago at Lord and Taylor I was able to get jeans that had tags on them that said $108.00 for $9.99 and a beautiful white sweater that was $72 for $9.99 too. HTH

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I say buy anything you love and looks good on you, then have it tailored. It doesn't matter what the label says as long as you look good in it. I can never find anything that fits me, so I buy one size larger then have it tailored so it looks like it was made for me. I also only buy dark colored denim pants,( not black) to me they look classier. I try not to buy to many prints, to stretch my wardrobe, solids give you more options. Make sure you accessorize, shoes, bags, and necklaces can really dress up an outfit.

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Chicago Bears!!!!
We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start no trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

We have a lot of those types at my kids school. They are SAHMs but they dress to impress. Just tell them that you're "keeping it real" or "bringing it back"...that usally works for me. You could also tell them that it is Casual Friday. Be yourself!

Rebecca

Don't feel pressured to wear designer clothes just because someone else does.....if you are happy and comfortable in your clothes then that's all the matters.....If you want to start wearing them then add a few pieces a month, just start with the basics like mentioned above..........I good favorite pair of jeans can really add life to a wardrobe, you can dress them up or down......

Just look at the bright side, at least you aren't swimming in debt because you "have" to have the perfect wardrobe......

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

You can look great without having designer clothes. I always wait for the sales at nice department stores and shop then. Like BeachRatz said, get some 'must-haves' like a nice blazer, dark jeans, nice shirts. It's amazing how you can mix things and look really nice. Also get you some big earrings. They can really accent any outfit. I love wearing them with jeans. Also shoes will make an outfit. I love wearing short cut high heeled boots with my jeans, too.

Now's the time to pouch at the stores because they're having great sales!!

TJ Maxx and Marshall's sells alot of designer clothes, and I've bought lots of stuff on ebay. Last year I got a brand new Abercrombie & Fitch denim jacket for less than $20.00.

But yes, these girls probably are in LOTS of debt, some people just don't care about that. Don't feel like you do have to keep up with the Jone's as they say, but if you want to feel less "frumpy" just for YOU than check out the places above. No need to spend top dollar anywhere when you can find the same stuff cheaper.

I have a girl at work, husband down downgraded in his job, they had to sell their vacation home, their boat, but instead of trying to cut back, she drives a brand new Tahoe, she just bought her DS a Hummer for his graduation, and they are planning a trip to Key West for the Holidays..I don't get it...

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Eileen

**Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help laugh when you see one tumble down the stairs**

Ugh, I know those types but aren't friends with any of them. A lot of the people who "live the life" are paying minimum payments on credit cards and are usually so much in debt...it's scary

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I had a neighbor like that and she is a great friend! SHe was all into styles and names, but you know what, I learned a lot from her and she learned a lot from me! Sometimes it's good to get out of your comfort zone, it can inspire you. After becoming friends with her I started dressing my then baby girl in more girly outfits (instead of the hand me down boy clothes from her brother), I got into the low rise, boot cut jeans instead of the dreaded tapered leg jeans. I own more than one purse and while they still aren't Coach or Kate Spade, I now know who they are!



I now live in an area of big bucks, where everyone owns a Mercedes a Lexus (or both) and I still have my 11 year old Mitsubishi, but they are all really nice welcoming people once you get to know them. They have all worked hard for their money and now enjoy it and it is great to have their wisdom at my doorstep.


Have fun with it and you can dress well and in designer (or look a like designer) clothes for cheap.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Maybe the great bunch of gals would enjoy taking you shopping - a mini-makeover - and/or sharing their tips for dressing in a way that you admire???

cj/

ETA: Flipper, we posted at the same time with a similar thought!!

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

HMm maybe when you guys retire & they are all still working to pay off all thier debt & you are laying somewhere on the beach then you will know how they dress like that LOL. But on another note & I am not one to show off but I know some people who do who are the biggest TW's & they buy thier clothing at garage sales & goodwill I have never had luck for my own clothes at either but guess you can if you really watch for stuff.

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mom of 3 greats girls

I wouldn't so much as worry about name brands but just looking nice. I felt the same as you a few years ago, just plain well plain. I can't match or make and outfit together for anything. I look through magazines and when I see something I like I order the whole outfit not just the top or pant. I even go as far as shoes and acessories. I don't spend a lot because I like the "classic" look so I buy end of year sales and keep it til the next year.

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we could be twins! good luck to you!!

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I learned a good bit about makeup from a gorgeous friend in her 50's, and feel better knowing how to apply it. I'm still getting hair and clothes figured out. Ask someone you trust for advice, and seek out communities online. I really like BEAUTY 101 and Makeupalley - Street Smart Beauty - Homepage and both could probably help here.

And as for what I learned . . .

Use brushes for everything, and your makeup will look prettier and more natural.

Know what colours suit you, but try new ones too.

Look for mark-downs at the end of seasons, and gifts-with-purchase.

My two favourite brands are Smashbox and ELF, so expensive and very cheap, but you can't really tell which is which if you apply them well. If you wear clothes that fit well, and suit you, it's much the same idea.

Know your colors is good advice for clothing too.....believe it or not, my sons are the best help when it comes to helping me with my colors. IF I can get them to go shopping with me, they always help to choose the best color shirt or top or dress to go with my skin and hair....and they are brutally honest. They are perfect for an honest answer to "Does my butt look big in this?" LOL

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I'd also like to mention that I bet a lot of these women have parents that are still buying for them! My MIL still buys tons of clothing for my SILs that are in their 30s (um, not for me and I like it that way--rather be self supporting), nice stuff. Same for their kids (same situation--we have no one buying for our kids either but us--the parents). I know a few people that actually talk about their parents' taking them on shopping trips, etc., and I'm always wowed. We have never had that experience. I think you already know that most households require very little purchasing of 'extras' to keep it running (debt free anyway), and maybe it's just that these ladies have different priorities, ya know? Maybe they spend a ton every month on clothes and eat cheap food daily or freeze in the winter (no heat). I'm voting that they keep a tab running all the time though (debt). No biggee if it doesn't bother them. Maybe they are power shoppers and always find a deal.

Saving a fortune can take some serious time and effort, I know it's serious work for me in my 'spare time'; if you are really interested, start looking at online stores in your spare time just to get a feel for what the norm prices are and what 'the look' is, . I am a super shopper and can find a steal on about anything, though, so I know it is possible to dress nicely without staying in debt for it. Maybe these women just buy a few 'basics' on sale and add to them yearly? If you stay away from totally trendy items (you can buy a few trendy accessories to update the traditional stuff), i.e. don't spend all of your money on them, you come out ahead in the long run. It's hard to do for kids that are older though as they want the more 'in style' items, and most teens and pre-teens don't appreciate timeless pieces yet, ha ha. I tend to spend more on my kids clothing than on myself OP, and since I have a one year old at home all day, I often wonder how in the world these women do their chores, play with their kids, etc. in those clothes?! Surely they don't dress like that all day long? Why not just admire one or two of the women you hang out with to their face and get some pointers? I'd bet if they are as nice as you say, they would be flattered and be happy to tell you where they shop, who has the sales, etc.

About a month ago, I realized exactly how "low maintenance" I was. And I cringed at the thought too.

I went to Ross, bought a new stylish coat, 2 new shirts, 2 new sweaters. I bought a pair of loafers that have a heel at the local Bass shoe outlet. Total cost for all of the above was around $150. The most expensive item being the shoes (even on clearance 40% off and with a coupon for an additional 10% off they were $45).

I started wearing makeup again. Just basic makeup. Some Neutrogena anti-shine powder, Cover Girl blusher, and Cover Girl eyeshadow in a light brown color (not super noticeable - you could also put blusher on your eyelids).

I am growing my hair out and probably next Fall will get a spiral perm.

Maybe I have hit mid-life crisis or something, as I just turned 32. But I wanted to be a bit more than a Wash & Wear person. Ya know? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

I am also a SAHM.

I do carry designer purses on occasion. I have Kate Spade, and Coach (leather). I got the Coach at a super steal on Ebay for only $35 shipped (Last time I saw one like it on there it went for $95 before shipping!), and I found a gorgeous authentic Kate Spade at a thift store for only $3.

Good luck finding clothes. I also recommend Ross. They have a ton of wonderful clothes. Try them on and find your colors! (I cannot wear chocolate brown - one of this seasons hot colors - it washes out my complexion. Red is one of my colors!)

And have fun, and don't stress about it. Slow and steady. And you don't need to spend a fortune either!

GOODWILL!! ha!! I have to admit I have gotten TONS of Liz Clabonre stuff there and people never know the difference!!

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GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!!

I have a few rules I try to follow: never snub anyplace for quality clothes. As one poster said, you can get good deals at Good Will even. I don't so much look at the name, as much as the quality of the item. I don't get clothes from Wal-Mart often since A) I don't shop there much and B) they just don't have good quality IMO. I have gotten a few tank tops to go under other shirts, so I don't rule them out entirely. Clearance racks are great places to look, too. See what the mannequins are wearing and go from that. Also, I don't wear sweat pants out in public. Sure, I'll wear them to work out in the yard, or do house work, but, I just feel they lend themselves to "frumpy" real quick. Instead, try one of the velour outfits.....bottoms, and zip up jacket. Get a cute shirt to go underneath. They look stylish and you can usually get away pretty cheap, like $40- $50 for the outfit. It's amazing what a few new pieces will do for your mood and esteem. Maybe go shopping a few times a month, don't try to totallly update your wardrobe in one day. I am always on the lookout for something new to add to my wardrobe when I'm out shopping. And, don't forget accessories.....could be anything from a new watch to a scarf.

Good Luck.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I'm not a Goodwill/Salvation Army store shopper per se, not because I have anything against them, but because there aren't any near where I live. I was visiting my mom out of state this weekend and we stopped into the Salvation Army store because I was trying to find some pieces for dd's pirate costume. I found what I was looking for plus some Ralph Lauren button down oxford shirts for ds for $1.50 each. They're in great shape and one even had a dry cleaning tag pinned to it. There were many high end, designer labels in very good condition tucked in the racks so I would suggest checking out the second hand stores.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas