I am fustrated and need to vent. So please bear with me. My BF lives with his grandma, as I posted about her previously she is a nasty bitter old woman (in good health so what she did was unexcuseable) I was at their house Sunday into Monday. Now every time I am there I am nice to her (I am nice all the time to everyone though) and I always treat her just as I would my own grandma (even though I know she is unapprecitative) Sunday night she pushed me over the edge and now I do not think I can ever be civil towards her again. (unless I am being overly sensitive) Sunday my BF was talking to my dad about places for our reception and she kept calling for him so I went into the livingroom where she was and said "He is on the phone with my dad, can I do anything for you" real nasty she said "No and what are they talking about" so I told her and she said "I told him not to marry you that he is gonna regret it" I was speechless and left to go back to his room because I wanted to pretend I didn't hear what she said. So she waited a few min and stood outside his door to listen to the conversation and as soon as he hung up with my dad she said "Oh so your gonna marry her" he said yes and she went on this entire rampage saying "Your gonna regret it, you can do better " etc etc. So he told her to go in the other room (I will admit he yelled alot too) but of course she didn't and tried starting trouble between us for all of Sunday night and yesterday (it didn't happen ) but I don't understand what I did, I am always overly nice to her even though I know she doesnt appreciate it. I won't eat at her house due to reasons but I won't tell her the truth I lie and whenever she asks if I want her to cook me anything I just say "No thank you I'm not hungry" or "Thanks but we just had a snack and I am good" I told my bF after that I am tempted to tell her the truth but the truth would be mean and cruel and my grandma always taught me to be nice to elderly people and if you feel uncomfortable eating at someone's house always be nice and polite about it. Now my BF told his other family members who aplogized for her and said it is because he is moving in with me and we are starting a life together and she is jealous, all his brothers all took turns living with her and left shortly after moving in because she is difficult to live with. Then she had the nerve to ask him when I was leaving why when we left for him to walk me to the car why I just said bye and walked out the door with him and he told her and she said "see that shows you what kind of person she is, if she treats me like that what is she gonna do to you" He of course probably yelled at her. But I don't get it, why can't this woman ever be happy? She is suppose to come to my house for Thanksgiving and has already said "I'd rather stay home alone then go there " I was thinking maybe i'd cook and bring it there, after this I am thinking "Fine stay home, spend the holiday alone and don't come and ruin my holiday" Sorry I just needed to vent cause for some reason she really annoyed me this time

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

oh honey......((((HUGS))))

Nasty rude comments, that weren't necessary by any means, I still hear from my Inlaws that Dh is only with because I keep tricking him into staying with me.....You are marrying the man and not the family....

I'm guessing from what you said, that your BF is the last of Brothers who have lived with her.....so once he goes, there is no one else? She might be afraid of being alone (I'm by no means excusing her behaviour!)

As for Thanksgiving you are going to do what you are comfortable with....no one deserves to be made miserable by someone else....She should be happy that he found someone so great to spend the rest of his life with.......

__________________
"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

Just reading your post, I wondered if the grandmother is resentful of you because she is worried/scared of what will happen to her when/if her grandson moves out and in with you? It seems like she might be reacting to reception talk and realizing the wedding is really happening....Her behavior is inexcusable, but althought she is directing her nastiness at you, it might not be about you at all, and more about her insecurities. Having said that, I typically give people the benefit of the doubt even when they don't deserve it......

I hope it all works out. Don't let her ruin your relationship.

Egads, darlin'!

I feel for you. She IS a bitter woman, for whatever reasons. The others don't want to live with her either because of that. It sounds like she's either happiest when she's making people miserable, or she's trying to control the living situation because she's afraid of being alone. Either way, she's not drawing people TO her, she's driving them AWAY from her. Sad.

I don't think I have great advice, but if you know how she is - and she's been like this to others - try to let it go in one ear and out the other for now. Douse her with kindness? What can she REALLY do if you're always sweet to her? Others will definitely see how she is and how YOU are, and the big difference between the two.

Hang in there!

__________________

I wouldn't cook and bring it to her. It's one thing to be nice, but don't be a pushover. You extended her an invitation to your house. She can take it or leave it. Don't chase after her. I bet she'll treat you even worse if you do.

Grammy is jealous and you are taking her boy away from her so she resents you. She is probably scared of being alone. She should be HONEST about it though and not be nasty to you. What does she think is going to happen when she is gone? Does she want him to be alone? Doesn't she want him to have a family?

So sorry to hear this. Some people just don't understand that you can catch more flies with honey than you can vinegar.

MaBear - I love it!!! I also like your OSU pride - My baby just graduated from there in June and was thrilled to find a job in the area to stay buy his beloved Buckeyes.

I was not the choice of women for DH (the first born son in a 100% Italian family) to marry as far as my fil would have put it. We've been married nearly 34 years and a couple years ago he said to me "You know I really didn't like you at first and didn't want John to marry you, but now I think you're OK."
Wanting just to be a little mischevious and put in a little dig, I tilted my head, looked at him, batted my eyelashes and said, "I'm so glad YOU have been able to come to terms with that." and walked away. He was speechless because the way I said it gave him the idea I still didn't like him.... It was quite funny because I never cared if he liked me or not....I was marring his son. I may have not always like his out spokenness, but the man has had to have done some really super things to have raised his son to be the man I love.