My mother has been in the nursing home for 3 weeks after several hospital visits for pneumonia, low oxygen levels and other breathing related problems. She is diagnosed with end-stage COPD. Her weight is down to to 75 lbs and she must do many breathing treatments throughout the day and night. The oxygen cannula is barely keeping up at 5 liters because she can't exhale enough to get rid of the CO-2. Has anyone ever gone through this horrible disease with a loved one? We have had the nursing home staff suggest Hospice because of the fact that they will dispense drugs for her comfort that the drs won't. I welcome any and all suggestions from MC readers.

I have had COPD since 1989. COPD does not affect my weight. The cannula is the nose hose and that has nothing to do with the airflow unless it is clogged. Speak to her doctor. Tell him your concerns and demand answers and suggestions.

My Dad actually had lung cancer, not what you mentioned and he was in a nursing home. The hospital pretty much transferred him there so he could die, but we ended up signing him out within 24 hours of being admitted and calling in hospice. He was miserable there, he cried as soon as we walked in and he had to come home for the little time he had left. We all got a chance to spend time with him, we listened to Johnny Cash and had a bbq, all of his friends came to see him ( we called them the parade, it went on all day) all instead of spending his last days staring at the walls. He had drugs too, yes, but I tried not to drug him unless he really needed it.


Hospice is not the caregiver though, you will be. They get you the RX's after they talk to your MOm's doctor and they have to agree to hospice care and give the ok and write the rx's themselves. Would it be too much for you to handle at home? Does she require a lot of care and can't be left alone?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

My mother had lung cancer and was in Hospice. Hospice was and is a wonderful wonderful place. The rooms there looked like bedrooms. It didn't have a hospital feel at all to it. The nurses told my mom daily they loved her. My mom went down hill quick. One day she was fine, the next day she was so weak she wasn't able to get out of bed. 2 months later she died.
If you are considering Hosipce, go have a look around. They are wonderful. They even have help for family members. My Mom died in August and they still call me and ask how I am doing and they send me invites to grief gatherings, like pot luck dinners and so forth.

I will pray for you and your family.

-Susan

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My mother had COPD.

She was on oxygen and had breathing treatments 2xs a day. We used to have to beat on her back in the lung area to help loosen the phlem a couple of times a day. She was also on a high volume of oxygen. My mother did not experience weight loss she actually gained weight due to the fact she couldn't move around as much as before since she couldn't breath.

If she is having trouble breathing with a cannula suggest they give her a full mouth mask. If my mother got a slight cold or allergy and her nose was the slightest stuffy we would put her on a mask so that she could mouth breath as she wasn't getting enough air through her nose.

My mother was both in a nursing home and had home hospice care. By far if you can manage it I would suggest hospice at home for her comfort unless she needs full medical facilities. My mother seemed to have less problems and do better at home than she did when in the nursing home. I believe it stressed her out to be there and actully contributed to her lower oxygen levels. But everyone is different and what worked for my mother may not work for yours.

Hospice is such a wonderful organization. We had 24 hour care at home for my mom. They would sit and read to her, hold her hand, massage her back and take care of her medical needs. I on the other hand did the cooking and general household needs for her.

I am very sorry about your mother. If there is anything I can do or you just need a shoulder feel free to PM me anytime.

I feel your pain. It's a terribly helpless feeling to watch someone who can't breath. My mother suffered with emphysema for 10 years before finally dying a very uneasy death. She was in a nursing home for the last year of her life because we just couldn't be there 24/7 for her. It was a wonderful home and she was well taken care of but the fact was she just couldn't breath. Even with treatments and constant oxygen. The lungs just weren't working adequately. Her doctor did prescribe a morphine type mixture for her at the end to ease her suffering. Morphine does repress respirations and we all know it hastened her death by a few days or weeks but she was ready. She'd lost the fight and just wanted to go.

It's a very difficult situation to have to go through. I'd talk to her doctor honestly and let him know that she needs something more than she's getting. She doesn't need to suffer like she is.

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I just got back from speaking with the head nurse at the nursing home and she was explaining how my mom only takes shallow breaths and doesn't take in enough oxygen. When she exhales, it also isn't strong enough to get rid of the CO-2 which can actually poison you. When they try a full mask, it bruises her face so bad she looks like someone abused her. She doesn't have any fat on her face like a normal person would making the mask setting on her facial bones. When we spoke about Hospice, she said that they come into the nursing home and work closely together and have a fabulous relationship. There would be no way that my mother could be cared for at home in her frail condition by my husband and me since we work daily. She is truly a full-time job all by herself. The dr. just ordered her 3 days of prednisone so her appetite will be increasing and she'll breath better until it all dive-bombs a day or so after they are discontinued. We will just be by her side and try to comfort her.

Who pays for Hospice?

There were no places around us that would take my Dad, the live in places were only to give caregivers a break for a few days, not to take him permenantly. ANd they didn't stay any more than a couple of hours when they were here, we had a nurse and a home health aide visit daily. And they only charge what you can afford, which in my Dad's case was nothing. We asked for donations in his name and when his estate is settled, I figure we can make a donation if anything is left.


They are wonderful and they continue to be helpful even after your loved one no longer needs them, but your family still does.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

ACS :: Who Pays for Hospice Care?

info from the American Cancer Society, Inc.

Hospice care is financed by a variety of sources: Medicare; Medicaid in most states; the Department of Veterans Affairs; and by most private insurance plans, HMOs, and other managed care organizations. In addition, through community contributions, memorial donations, and foundation gifts, many hospices are able to provide free services to patients who can't afford payment. Other programs charge patients according to their ability to pay. To receive payment from Medicare, the agency must be approved by Medicare to provide hospice services."

Thank you very much for posting that information. For some reason, I thought people had to pay for Hospice out of pocket.

Reading these posts is like living my mother's disease all over again. She's been gone for 11 years but I still miss her. Your last sentence is so poignant because that's really all you can do.

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I worked as a R.N for Hospice for 15 years. My dad was my last patient. I just could not work anymore and do what I did and not feel anything. Actually I overfelt for my patients. I just got so burned out. It is a great organization, and they are there to help the patient and the family. If you ever need to talk or ask quesitons I am here just email me.

Again Hospice get many contributions and if you are unable to afford them, dont worry, they will not turn you away. That goes against their mission statement.

I do want to say good-luck in all that you decide, there will be alot of hard decisions. No Hospice is not the caregivers the family is ,but there are alot of other agencies and free sitters who are available to give you time off that you WILL need. Take everyones offering, never turn down. God Bless you on your road . I was told this alot over the last few years......... "God never gives you more then you can handle".

Karrie

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My mother passed in the early hrs of Sunday at the nursing home and I want to thank all of you that gave me suggestions and info on COPD. It is so sad to watch someone struggle for every breath and she went peacefully in her sleep with my husband and me by her side. Once again, thanks so much.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. She's at peace now and in a better place - able to breath without struggling. I'm picturing her high fiving my mom who's welcoming her with open arms.

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My father died of lung cancer. He went into the hospital one day and within two weeks he was gone. Tried the chemo once, got so sick decided it wasn't worth having a few extra days for and quit it. That's when they put him on morphine (the IV kind...straight, I believe because he was having hallucinations about being in the navy still, etc. But I don't really know if that was the morphine or if it was just he was so close to the end). He was allergic to morphine. Strangely enough, he would stop breathing if he got it. But we weighed that against how he would suffer and between us and him, more him, we decided in the end to let him go peacefully and as pain free as possible rather than have more time that would be nothing but suffereing.

He died in a regular hospital. But I believe if we had had the money and time we would have found a hospice for him and kept him home. I honestly believe he knew long before he told us about his cancer. I just don't think someone finds out they have lung cancer and dies two weeks later. Besides, he was strangely ok and calm about it when he told us. Like he was talking about a book he had read or something.

Sorry, I digressed But my opinion is try to find a hospice and bring her home. Or just hospice. Something to make it not feel so "clinical" and sterile...if you know what I mean

I am praying for you and your mother and family. Try to spend as much time as possible with her. That's my best advice.