My husband has a friend that comes over periodically. Well Friday evening he and his girlfriend and their 6 and a half MONTH old baby come to visit. I nearly fell over when I looked at this baby. It is six and half months old and weighs 29 lbs!!! It is so fat, so miserable, etc. She said that he is already on Prevacid for acid reflux twice a day. AND that she "has" to feed him every 15 minutes to stop him from whining/crying. HOWEVER, I must say that I have been around this kid alot since his birth and he is really was a good baby, but was being overfed. BUT now he is to the point of obesity in my opinion.

It just disgusts me to no end. I am so afraid that this child is going to die. I wonder (& perhaps someone can tell me) why the doctors can't do something about this? Like report her for abuse or something. This child is way beyond being overly fed.

Tell me what you think......

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

You can report her to children services and your friend will never know that you were the one who reported her as children services will keep your name private.Chidren services can come to their home and evaluate the child and get the parents involved in some parenting classes that will include the proper way to feed their child.

Yikes!! Maybe it is her first baby and she is afraid or too nervous to let it cry a little. Sometimes babies are just fussy and it has nothing to do with being hungry.

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Wow. As the saying goes ... With friends like you, who needs enemies? If he is on a prescription medication, he is being seen by a physician. MYOB.

My oldest weighed a little over 8 pounds at birth and was a little over 24 pounds at 6 months. He is now 25 years old, 6"2' and about 165 pounds. Hardly obese. My youngest was always a skinny minnie as a baby and as he grew up. He is now 21 and could stand to lose 30 pounds if not more.

It is one thing to be a card carrying member of the better mother club. It is quite another thing to start considering reporting people for abuse just because you don't like how much their child happens to weigh at any particular point in their development.

I think that OP is just concerned about the child and honestly, I would be too. Not to the point of reporting her but I would be concerned. Not all obese babies turn out okay. I personally know a few people who were obese babies, obese children and grew into obese adults. They learned early on to comfort themselves with food (they are my family members and we have discussed this so I am not just making speculations).

I do agree that if the baby is on meds, then the doctor who prescribed them should be aware of the babies weight and condition.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Sounds like my nephew was & he turned out fine hes 16 this year about 6'2 & long & straggly looking. My dh has a best friend just had a baby 4 months ago he said the mom sticks a bottle in her mouth every time she cries but I am sorry I have never seen a baby eat that wasnt hungry sometimes my kids cried & I tried to feed them & thats not what they wanted so I dont see force feeding a baby they just dont let it happen. I think baby will be fine more than likely

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mom of 3 greats girls

Abuse? Report? Come on, you have been around the baby so much you think he's a good baby and yet you nearly fell over when you saw him ? Sometimes it's best to keep your thoughts to yourself and not think you are an expert in this baby's health, history, meds, care, etc. Your time is better spent running the exchanges rather than causing this couple misery, humiliation, etc. and most likely, misuse of resources when you report since it seems the baby is under a physician's care.

dl

I don't consider OP's post snarky. She said that it was her husband's friend's baby (not her friend's) and she never said that she was going to report her. According to an infant weight chart I found online, 29 lbs. is an average weight for a 22 month old (18 lbs. would be an average weight for a baby that age). I would be concerned too.
Rebecca

First let's get a few things straight!
Okay smarty pants, NOWHERE did I say that I was an expert. However as the mother of three, I do KNOW that 29 lbs for a 6 month is overweight. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what overweight looks like. Especially when the child struggles to breathe or he is so fat, that he can roll over.

I will continue to do the exchanges without a doubt, because I will not let a TROLL like you who only contributes to the board in order to get sh*t started stop the rest of us from having fun. Secondly, I have NOT caused this couple any problem and honestly probably will not. BUT, when I sit here for hours and watched this mother FORCE FEED, and he is LITERALLY puking the food up while mom SHOVES more down his throat and complains that she "feels" like he "needs" to be fed every 15 minutes in order to keep him from wimpering, THEN I will voice my opinions to her AND this board if I feel like it. NOW, on another note, since you think my time is better spent running exchanges, I would like to give my perspective on how your time should be spent. Perhaps you should spend your time pulling your head out of your a$$ and get a grip. Instead of "ASSUMING" that I wanted to bring this couple hardship, maybe you should stop to think that I am genuinely concerned. At least when I open my mouth is because I am speaking from my head and heart and not just trying to irritate others.

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

Yea and ACCORDING to the MOM, the physician is steadily telling her that BECAUSE of HER overfeeding him that he has acid reflux and is on breathing treatments, and has a problem with his heart. No doubt that is under a physicians care. MY QUESTION was, can the doctor take additional steps to help this child BEFORE he ends up with a lifetime of health problems or worse. [/quote]

NOWHERE, did I say that I am a better mother, nor did I say that I wanted to report them because of his weight at a particular point. What I did say was I do believe that something needs to be done before he dies or ends up with a lifetime of problems.

On another note. Had I posted that this was a 6 month old child that was weighing about 10 lbs and was underweight, that some of you who are flaming me right now would be considering that child abuse or neglect. Sounds like a double standard to me. But that really isn't the point, IS IT? Because you and your fellow poster only patrol these boards in order to pi$$ people off. HMMMM

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

yuck! could you people be anymore anal?

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

When you were young and your heart was an open book
You used to say live and let live
(you know you did, you know you did you know you did)
But in this ever changing world in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die

Daltonmama - maybe you can find some articles on overfeeding infants or reflux (which I believe is different than the acid reflux treated in adults) and share them with parents ( "I was reading this and it sounded alot like baby xxx")

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

That is a great suggestion. Thanks!!

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

Great responses from a very defensive person who now gives MORE information. Where was all of that in your first post? I am not a troll, hardly. My head is nowhere near my ass, much less in it. There are other things to be seen and thought about objectively. I didn't say you WANTED to bring them hardship, it simply didn't sound like you knew what could happen once the wheels are in motion. Once reported, their lives will be forever changed, it will be more invasive than just their baby......whether any type of abuse is found or not and it's not always for the betterment ! Abuse is a very strong word/accusation.

Really, cjs216 has given you a great avenue of action if your opinions continue to bother you or you think you must take some kind of action.

dl

This is a great idea for the op to consider if she continues to be concerned.

dl

I wouldn't be alarmed unless the baby isn't progressing at a normal rate. My son was 9lb 6 oz and 25.8 inches long when he was born.....by the time he was 6 months old he was already 28 lbs....and by the time he was 1 yr old he was a whooping 34lbs. But with that being said, he was extremely tall and was on target or even early for all milestones as in walking, crawling, rolling, etc. He is now 6 yrs old, almost 7..... he is 55 inches and 57lbs......so basically he is a bean pole. After he turned 1yrs old he didn't gain weight again until he was over 3.5 yrs old, so I wouldn't say anything unless you know for sure this is truly impacting the babies health. I would of be devastated if someone would of called child protective services on me just because my baby was large for his age.

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Chicago Bears!!!!
We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start no trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

As new parents, we all do/did the best that we can -- it really is a difficult time with lack of sleep along with all of the other changes that happen with a new baby in the house. I do understand your concern but I really would leave this up to the parents and the doctor...

In defense of these new parents, it can't be easy to have to feed the baby every 15 minutes (mine both nursed every hour to hour and a half around the clock, yikes!) and that is a heavy load to carry around as well...

Hopefully, the parents and the baby's doctor are considering starting him on some solids soon if they haven't already. Many of the cereals will keep baby feeling full longer. If the formula is not agreeing with the baby, she can try Nestle Good Start. It was the calmest on both of my boys' tummies.

I hope that it gets easier for this family. I'm sure that you must feel for them... it can't be easy the way things are. I truly would try to NOT say anything as I'm sure it is already a huge source of guilt for these young parents.


PS... I did not read all of the replies in this thread so bear with me if I went off topic.

you asked what I (well, maybe not specifically ME, but you know what I'm saying) thought.

I think that you are making assumptions based on what the mother is telling you and what you are perceiving...I think that you should do something--like offer to help the mom out, or offer to go with her to the Dr. appts, or offer to babysit, or help her research the conditions that the baby appears to be suffering from...

It's really easy to armchair quarterback (so to speak), but without knowing everything about the situation I cannot and will not comment on whether I think the child is being abused/mistreated or fed inappropriately.

Oh, and if the child only weighed 10lbs and was taking medications for reflux I wouldn't assume that the mother wasn't doing a good job--I would think a couple of things: 1) baby has some serious medical issues or 2) baby may be suffering from failure to thrive....neither of which would be considered "reportable" to any agency as abuse/mistreatment

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Being a baby myself that puked up everytime my mom tried to feed me and could never keep anything down ,this is what I believe.I believe the mom is just worried that the baby isn't getting proper nutrition because it pukes so much.The truth is some babies just don't need to eat as much.Dalton wouldn't be so concerned unless she had a good reason to be.The fact is the baby needs more affection,not more food.Many doctors could care less about the true health of an individual.all they see is that the more health problems one has the more prescriptions they can write to get more money.If anything the mom should get a new doctor.That baby is going to suffer if something isn't done,and it might already be too late.Better safe than sorry.The mom will not be seen as "abusive" in children services eyes ,only naive,in which they can provide her with the help that she needs to better care for the child.
Myself,I don't care,but then I'm not the one that has to watch some sweet , innocent baby constantly having food jammed into its mouth which isn't solving anything but to make the poor kid more miserable.

and generally, once DPHHS (or whatever it's called in the OPs state) is contacted and they do find something to latch on to as being "wrong", then that will follow that family for the rest of their life. If they ever apply for any sort of government assistance, they will be more investigated than if you or I did.

I think you are naive if you think that reporting the mom will get the mom the help she may need. Again, I suggest that the OP get involved by trying to help the mother...

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Nope, YOU are the one that is DEFINATELY naive !

I'd have to go with marilynk on this one. You have no idea how they will react. It depends on the caseworker and what kind of mood they're in. Believe me, we've dealt with CPS more than we care to and have had very different experiences with each caseworker.

peapie

Me too! And after all I have been through you would think I would be the LAST person on earth to say to call them, but they can help as much as they can hurt.It depends on the family.

i really think you have cause to be concerned, but i would not turn her into cps. i would talk to her about the care of the baby. did you discuss her visits to the doctor? there is a possibility that there is more going on with the baby then what they mentioned to you. could she have been exaggerating on how often the baby is fed? overweight babies can be overweight for reasons other then overfeeding. i would call her up and talk to her about your concerns then go from there.

and it also depends on the caseworker AND the state in which this occurs...

First thing I would suggest to anyone is this: Get involved!! If this is a first time mom--she may need some guidance. If this is multi-time mom--she may need a friend. Offer to help the mom--babysit while she takes a naps or goes shopping or spends time w/ her older children. Offer to be her "buddy"--a person she can call when she needs a shoulder to cry on, or needs advice, or whatever....

Once you're involved with the woman and her family, you will have a better frame of reference of whether the baby is in any sort danger or need for "professional" assistance.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

op, please read again the last line of your post and then you get offended with anyone who doesn't think the same as you do / agree with you? Did you spend the time giving others snotty comments and the negative rep points too? Just because I didn't agree with you, tsk tsk. Take some of your own snotty advice.

dl

And while we are all posting yet another mouthful of bananas and pudding is being shoved into that poor babys face,drizzling down her neck and spurting out her nose and cramping up her diaper.

Where the heck did you get that?
Blowing it a bit out of proportion, don't ya think?

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I am psychic.

Becareful ,you don't want to mess with a "Psycho" !

My DS had reflux as a baby....it was awful, he would puke up all the time.

As with anything, no one here, OP included, knows all the facts of this. That's just how it is, like it or not. However, based on the fact that the child is going to a doctor, and is under a doctor's care, you should leave it at that. If you see blatant abuse on the part of the parents, by all means, report it. A 29lb baby, under a doctor's care, IMO, is not abuse.

When DD was 4 months old, I remember taking her for her 4mo. check up. I asked the doctor could I start her on cereal. He said to me "well, she's already overweight.....let's hold off". She was exclusively breastfed, virtually impossible for her to be overweight, and THANKFULLY, this was not my first rodeo, so to speak, so I just blew off his comment and started her on cereal anyway.

I would be VERY hesitant to involve CPS or DCFS. The parents WILL find out who called. It's not too hard to piece these things together.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

There is no strict rule of thumb about how much a baby should weigh at this stage, but by 8 months he or she will probably weigh about 2.5 times more than he or she weighed at birth. A 7-pound (3000-gram) newborn, in other words, is likely to weigh 17-18 pounds (7,500-8,000 grams) by the end of this period.

Since your child's birth, the doctor has been recording his or her growth in weight, length, and head size (circumference) during your regular well-baby visits. The doctor tracks these figures on standard growth charts. Ask your doctor to show you your baby's growth record. By now, you should begin to see a personal growth curve emerging - expect your child to continue growing along this curve.

Should I Be Concerned?
Is my baby too fat? Too thin? Is my child destined to be tall or short? Parents often worry about growth and may compare a baby with siblings and peers. It's important to remember that children come in a wide range of shapes and sizes.

Growth depends on many factors, including:

genes passed on by the parents (children tend to resemble their parents in height)

the amount and quality of food a child eats

overall health of the child

the functioning of the hormones that control aspects of the child's growth

Based on your child's growth chart, the doctor can determine whether your child is growing as expected.

If at any time you are concerned about your baby's weight or growth in general, discuss your worries

with your child's doctor. :


What About the Chubby Baby?
With all the recent concern about childhood obesity, parents may worry that their baby is getting too fat. If you have this concern, discuss it with your child's doctor. A few babies and toddlers are overweight. For these children, professional advice from the baby's doctor can be useful.

But never withhold food from a baby in an attempt to cause weight loss. To grow and develop as they should, babies need proper nutrition, including fat, in their diet. Rather than limiting food intake, make sure the foods your baby eats are nutritious rather than full of "empty" calories. For instance, many babies drink a lot of apple juice, which is high in calories and has little nutritional value. Juice is not recommended for infants younger than than 6 months. After 6 months, 100% fruit juice can be introduced in a sippy cup (limited to less than 4 ounces, or 118 milliliters, a day).

Introduce pureed vegetables and fruits without added sugar and don't give your baby desserts or other sweets that are high in sugar and offer little nutritional value. Also, look for the cues that your baby is full, and don't use food to keep a baby quiet or occupied. A crying baby may just be looking for some attention.

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

And you know this mother and child??? Your going by what the op has stated and nothing more. I really hate that people are so quick to judge someone elses parenting skills when they really don't know the situation. Reporting this mother to cps is going to do nothing but give her grief for a long long time to come. This will forever follow her everywhere and from the way it sounds it doesn't seem to me that it qualifys for abuse.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

all I have to say is ...... If the baby is crying and your trying to feed, maybe there is something else wrong..... If the child is being seen by the DR. then the DR. has the best interest of child...... They are obligated to do something about any abuse, if that is what is happening...... Just don't be so quick to pass judgment. My kids had BIG heads and were considered Overweight by the medical standards..... They just had watermelon heads........ they are fine now. that is the problem with this world.... they see THIN...... they are fed THIN...... they watch THIN on TV..... baby's are not thin, they lose the baby fat as soon as they start crawling. I have a 9 month old niece and she weighs that much, she is fat..... a cute fat, her brothers were all like that and they are thin now. WE call her chunky Chick!

It might not be the ideal situation, but ONCE you know the mother well, then MAYBE you can bring it up. But until then you have the right to be concerned to yourself only.

I teach the Multiple Handicap kids middle school, and If I turned them in to SS every time they said they wanted to hurt themselves or they hug or kiss another kid, or they said their mom and dad hits them (which I know they aren't) then what am I doing to that family?. I know my kids and their family's very well......... If I thought for one minute they were being abused and would hurt themselves, the parent would be called first.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

Ain't that the truth? Why do you pretend to be the parent's friend and think about back stabbing them? What kind of person are you? I hope I don't have any friends like you! If the baby's taking a prescription medication, then he's under the care of a doctor. The doctor knows more than you do. Let the parents and doctor handle their business. They don't need you meddling in it. There's too much real child abuse for you to waste time and taxpayer's money calling CPS on somebody who isn't abusing their child. You told this board that your husband has a horrible disease. Isn't that enough drama for you? Why do you want to create more? I think you should put your energy into your own family and leave other people's families alone!

Opaldancing...... you just signed up today........ Sooooooo how do you know her husband has a horrible disease? Heck I didn't even know that.!
Have you been lurking or just a crazy member that wants to start trouble?

NO OFFENSE to our MC members!

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

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(cough) alter ego (cough)

I'm a MC member now too and I think it's wrong for a MODERATOR to start trouble with a new member! I hope you're a volunteer and they aren't paying you because you're doing a horrible job. I just signed up so I'm now a member but I'm not crazy. I've been lurking for more than FIVE YEARS and 'know' every poster here. I don't post because I usually don't agree with the people who post here. I registered so that I could post to Daltonsmama because her post struck a nerve. She's pretenting to be a young mother's friend and thinking about betraying her behind her back. I think that's a terrible thing to do and I wanted to say so. Alright with you? .

From what I've seen, the mods here are worse than the members. You make inappropriate remarks under your MOD name and run off people who don't agree with you. I saw at least three cases last month where the mods insulted members and they did it under their MOD names! Why don't you know about Daltonsmama's husbands disease? She's posted about it at least twice. Could it be that you're too busy insulting members to pay attention?

A friend of my husband has an account here. I'm sending this thread to him so he can know what his money is buying.

Uhh...this isn't a membership board. Are you sure you're on the right website?

Some boards do charge, even when they're on free sites which I think stinks, but this one doesn't have dues to be a member.

If your friend's husband is telling you he pays to be here, then he's snowing the heck out of you.

Well let's see Opaldancing..........I am not starting trouble with you or any member, for ONE, I have never started trouble with anyone on this board . I am a volunteer here and I do a dang good job at it!.... wanna give it a try? its not as easy as you think it is.

The OP never pretended to be the mothers FRIEND. " My husband has a friend that comes over periodically"
And NO its not alright with me! who are you to post a quick witted come back and just register. Seems you dont know all your facts!
I have NEVER ran anyone off and those 3 cases you are describing has NOTHING to do with me. I would assume you read those posts , did you see my name in there?? NOOOOOOOO

I don't have to read every post on this board....... I have my own health problems to think about. I don't need to know every detail about our members life to be a MOD here . Why don't you go back and reread those posts and see If I insulted any member here.

As for your husbands friend, I welcome him to the MC boards.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

He does have an account but it might not be here on this very board, it might be with My Coupons parent company. He pays to advertize, not post.

Perhaps the account being referred to is as an advertiser, as in financially having to do with supporting this site. Nice to see you again.

dl

I guess you dont have all the facts do ya??

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

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The FOURTH case has something to do with you and you seem willing to run me off! The OP is pretending to be the mother's friend if she entertaining her and the man in her home. I know all the 'facts' on this board but they aren't facts, just posts. Somebody typing something doesn't make it true. I assumed Daltonsmama's was true because it was so uncomplimentary to herself and I felt that she didn't recognize that 'fact'. Still doesn't for that matter.

So sorry if I wasn't kind enough to your pal but you need to learn to be more objective if you plan to remain a Mod here. If you want to defend your friend, you shouldn't do it under your Mod id and you shouldn't be singling out posters to insult. It's inappropriate conduct for a Mod and unprofessional.

It doesn't matter what ID I post under, I only use ONE now, and will only use this one. If you want to continue to flame be my guest,,, just remember the rules of the CAFE!.

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

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Ok, i might be wrong but to me the OP just seemed upset and concerned for the baby's well being and was asking for input to the situation... She didn't say she intended to report her, she wondered why the Dr. didn't. Many people posted positive,helpful posts and I think that is what she was looking for.

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"Never loan your car to someone you have given birth too"

Ok, that makes sense then.

lol!

Well said.

OP,
I know a family (my sister's SIL, if you can follow that!) that is similar. They now have 2 children, 3 and 6. They are loving parents, but have always fed the children constantly, from the time they were infants. Always a bottle, then always food in hand. It has always been a concern for other family members, and the consensus seems to be that from the time they were babies, the parents just had a hard time with the babies showing any unhappiness. The immediate response has always been food. As soon as one of them would squeak, they got a bottle.
I know both grandmothers have tried through the years to lovingly talk to the parents, as it always seemed more an issue of lack of parenting skill than anything else, but nothing has changed. The kids are both considerably overweight at this point, and it is difficult for others to spend time with them as they are ALWAYS asking for more food. If the kids are playing, they are in the kitchen every ten minutes looking for food. They always have something in their hands. If they are told they have to weight till the next meal, or to have a piece of fruit, they scream their heads off. They have good medical care, the doctors have expressed concern about their weights for many years. Nothing changes.

My point is this--I have no problem believing they are overfeeding this little baby. It is a cycle--baby cries, gets a bottle, falls asleep for a few minutes, does it again. While I couldn't imagine calling in the authorities, I agree that it couldn't hurt to reach out to this mom if YOU want to. If she were comfortable spending time with you, she might hear you offer some gentle advice coached as "One of mine was like this...I couldn't get a break! We finally were able to get him used to feeding every 3 hours by (pacifier, car rides, rocking chair, spreading feedings out a little longer each time...whatever)." She may be relieved to get some help, or she may want you to butt out. Either way, no harm done.

LOL...I totally agree! I actually get a kick out of reading some of this stuff...it's like a bad soap opera...Grow up people and get a freakin' life! ~Lisa

Obviously you don't have a life either or else you wouldn't be here reading it and replying to it too. LOL!!!

Im going to close this thread!..... we are at the limit of posts. Thanks to all who gave their thoughts!...Karrie

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

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