I have a friend who I have known for 20 years. Her parents died when she was young, she needed a place to live and my mom took her in. She moved in with us when she was 17. From that point on she and I were like sisters. We are closer then most sisters.
This past weekend she spent the weekend with my because our SO's went hunting together for 5 days. So she came with her daughter who is five and spent the weekend. We watched movies with the girls friday night. drank champagne with strawberries in it and just hung out. I didnt pay attention until the next day about the beer that she was drinking in between champagne glasses. The next day, we went to an out door market. She had three beers before we left then used an excuse to feed the kids to stop at the bar at the market to have more beer. THEN continued to drink all night when we went out dancing. Sunday she wanted me to make her eggplant parmigiana and lasagna and show her how to do it. I fried 10 eggplants that day and she sat at the table drinking again. This time I paid attention and she drank 10 beers. She is always complaining about stomach probelms and bloating. I have tried to explain to her a MILLION times that she should try to lay off the beer and see what happens. She stayed at my house until 9 pm SUnday night.
I looked back at a few things and really took notice to how much she really drinks. She came over one morning on a Sunday to pick up her daughter and at 830 am she has baileys in her coffee.
I am really upset by this but dont know what to do. I have avoided the issue because she is my friend, my sister... But at the same time it is that reason that I think I need to address this with her.
How would you approach this??

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GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!!

your friend sounds like an alcoholic--and until she decides that she needs help and needs to confront her demons, you probably won't be able to discuss this with her.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Oh My I don't know what to say. Have you talked to her SO about what happend over the weekend? Maybe he can talk to her about it? I have a friend who has a sister in law who is the same way and whenever anyone brings it up to her she gets all defensive and outright nasty and then after a few days acts like nothing happend.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Certainly sounds as thought she has a drinking problem. You can't make her seek help or change her behavior, but as a friend you can certainly express your concern. Without making any accusations, you can tell her you've notice quite an increase in her alcohol intake, and you wondered if she were noticing it too. If she expresses her own concern, you can ask her if she's spoken to anyone about it to get some help, i.e. her doctor, a counselor, attending an AA meeting.

She may get angry & blow you off, she may minimize it, she may do a thousand different things. No matter her response, you've planted a seed. If not at that moment, then perhaps someday, when and if she is ready, she'll begin to get help.

Very difficult to watch someone you care about walking down a path like this, but all you can do is care, and be honest about your concerns.

Good luck.

This is coming from a child of a alcoholic Mother for 40+ years.

I use to *Allow* my Mother to visit and she drank ed each and every time. I CAN'T STAND IT , I HATE IT WITH EVERY PIECE ON BEING IN ME !!!....For years and Years every single thing had to involved her drinking. My EX would drink alone with her when we were married, between them both getting drunk almost every single night of the week , It took a toll on me and I nearly lost my mind. I was on nerve pills, then I found out I had cancer, I just wanted to DIE, get it all over with. I had no support system what so ever, I went Thu my treatments ALONE.... When we divorce and I got my mind back and was cleared from my cancer, I made up my mind No One would drink in my house. I met my now hubby in a bar while shooting darts ( No I don't drink then nor now, If just happen the league played at the bar ) I know how this sounds, , But I too loved him and thought his drinking as not as bad as what it really was, It DIDN'T take me long to wake up to this.. He would drank , but after 6 months of it I was once again SICK of it. I put my foot down told him this isn't my life style, either give it up or I'll leave cant live this way 1 more day.My husband no longer drinks. My Mother has moved in with us for the 2nd time and she has never drank ed in my home because It's not allowed.. Op the ONLY thing thats going to help you and her, is to put your foot down as I did. You can't make them seek the help they need, However, If you allow her to keep coming back and drinking as she has in your home, then you become part of the problem. It took over 40+ years for me to tell my Mother she wasnt welcome in my home or around my children as long as she was drinking. It finally sunk in when she couldn't come around us or even be apart of her grandchildren life's as long as her drinking as the most important part of her life. You can only help whats around YOU and YOUR family. Maybe she too will see how her drinking is hurting everyone around her and want to get the help she really needs, Maybe not, But who knows ?...

I feel sorry for such a young person living this kind of life, I have ALWAYS heard and drunken soul is a miserable soul. If she loves you and values your relationship, you are going to have to be the one that puts the hard Stearn footing down and tell her she needs help and till she does, You love her but will no longer be a apart of her drinking problem.

Good luck Hun , Its hard to see our love ones taking this kind of life style.

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Like got2save2 said: don't let her drink in your home. Also, if she has been drinking, don't let her drive from your home drunk. You can possibly be held liable for it. And, whatever you do, don't let her drive after drinking with her dd with her.
Let her know why you are doing this in a nice way. She may get mad, but hopefully one day will see you were trying to help.
Judy