Hi, This has been bothering me all day and i really need to talk about it. I am i mom of 3 boys and im 5'6 and VERY skinny . I am very healthy , I just cant put on weight no matter what. Im telling this because it goes with why I am so hurt. I went shopping this morning with my mom for some shoes for my son. We walked into the shoe store and my mom and I were looking at some crocs and a women behind me(a worker) says to another worker" Come over here" So the women walks over to her ( they are standing right behind me) and she says in a whisper (but my mom and i both could hear) " Look at her , That is sick" and the other girl laughs and says " oh i know sick". I was in shock, i looked at my mom and my mom says "say something" , But i couldnt I was so hurt. I couldnot believe that someone would say something like that out loud . I know i am over reacting over one comment someone said I know alot of people propbably think the same thing when they see me. It just hurt even more today knowing that im a good person and a good mom thats that all people see when they look at me. I just had to get this out there , I thought if i told someone It would make it a little easier to let it go.

What were they, like 9 years old or something?

I'm appalled that employees of all people would behave like that towards a customer. One had to call the other over to stand behind you to essentially make a determination that you were 'sick'. Their behavior was indeed rude and disgusting and I don't care how thin you are you did not deserve that.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Heck I'm a little mad for you. How awful to be treated like that!

I find their behavior SICK.

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dbnm, I'm so sorry this happen their behavior ranks up there with children in the age group of 10 year olds. Very rude and uncalled for. I think if it was me, I would have to give a call to the store to speak to someone higher up about this. Very rude and never called for.

But I also wanted to tell you I too have a Daughter thats skinny and can't put on weigh( Shes the type you love to hate when having Children.(kwim).. She's just over 5'6 Probably closer to 5'7 and weighs a whole 140 lbs. She just had her 3rd baby 3 months ago and wore pants she has been wearing for the last 2 years home from the hospital the day she came home which was 3 days later after giving birth to him. She was a very large baby at birth 9 lbs even and 21 inches long. However, Her father is 6'4, So I guess she has his height and weight. She too gets the ugly comments as well. She has been called a crack head, doper, (cant think how to spell it ) the people that eats then throws up. She has been called a lier when she been asked about the boys and they will say YOU HAVE 3 KIDS AND YOUR THAT SKINNY, DON'T YOU EAT ??. the list goes on and on with the rude comments toward her.She has never been a person to be anything but skinny. I tell her hold your head high girly because they only WISH they had your body. Be proud/ stand tall. and You too will have to do the same. Don't let it get to you, mostly they are jealous and a jealous person is usually a mean person.. Be happy and don't let the rude comments get to you so badly. But, still call and talk to someone about what happen today, they are very rude employees and maybe this is not their field line to be working in the public, I can only imagine what they might had said if you were over weight

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Why would you want to let it go? Why haven't you called the corporation or owner of this store and told them this story? I'm surprised that your mother didn't call on your behalf. Venting on this board may provide some salve but I would want both of those girl's fired. Making fun of a customer isn't acceptable and the owner should be told how his employeees are treating his bread and butter.

I know how this hurts. I am in the same position. I was 290 pounds three years ago, had gastric bypass three years ago with MEGA complications and the upshot was ended up 105 pounds, malnourished, on tube feeding, almost died before I had it reversed 5 months ago. I have had people stare, and heard the dope addict, on crack, skinny comments and they do hurt. I know I looked sick, I felt sick, weak, and those comments did not make it any better. I felt like whipping out my feeding tube and waving it in their face.

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Eileen

**Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help laugh when you see one tumble down the stairs**

Wow, that's incredibly rude. When I started reading your post, I thought it would be about envy, rather than outright malice. If you feel bold enough, do call the store to report the employees. If you'd rather heal quietly, just know you have something a ton of women want, and those girls will probably be resenting your figure for a long time.

People ARE rude.

I've had people ask me when my baby is due. My reply? I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat.

Also, they ask me about my face. Oh you're so red, have you been out in the sun? Downhill skiing?
My reply? No, I haven't been out in the sun, I just have a horrible complexion.

There's more...but I won't get into any other personal matters.
These comments come from all kinds of people. Acquaintances and strangers. Why on earth would it matter to them?

I'm sorry this happened to you OP. I know how much rude comments hurt. I've cried a lot over stupid people. Know that you are not alone. I know that doesn't really help, though. I DO think I would contact the store owner and report the employees bad behavior.

People make rude comments if your fat or skinny. Wished we could all live in their perfect little world where everyone is the perfect size, color, looks, perfect amount of possesions so that one cant be made fun of because their not rich. :-/

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I definitely would have said something to them after hearing that - I am in the same position being only 5'6" and right at 129lbs - I have always been skinny - and for the most part - hated it - got really sick of being called anorexic all the time!!!! But I have realize that for the most part - those who tend to be the ones who make comments like this are usually jealous for some reason - and of course we all know that jealous people never have anything nice to say!!!!

I am so sorry this happenen to you. People are just rude and thoughtless these days. You don't deserve to suffer through comments like that.

My mom is like you, and she is 5'4" and weighs a whopping 94lbs. She eats, and eats but can't seem to gain weight. She has never weighed more the 110, and over the past few months has lost weight while trying to gain.....

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O-H-I-O

I totally agree.

If it's at all convenient, I would go back to the store and ask to speak to the manager or owner. If he/she wasn't there, I would follow-up until I DID get to speak to the manager or owner.


Actually, if this had happened to me, I would demand an apology from both employees as well as the manager or owner.

I don't have the under-weight problem, but a bit over-weight. My thyroid has huge issues and am on daily medication. When I don't take it for more than two days (when I head in for testing, etc.) I can gain as much as 15 pounds in a week. It's not easy to get off.

The reason I mention it is because I get the other end of the spectrum in comments. Wow, why doesn't she just eat less? Why doesn't she go to the gym? Etc.

I am sorry for high-jacking your post OP, but wanted to let you know that although our ears do not hear the same thing, it hurts the same. I am sorry for your experience. There is no excuse at all. I would call the store.

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i'm so sorry you had to hear that. you should have been able to enjoy being out shopping with your mom, not hearing nasty comments behind your back

I had a situation with an employee, and TRIED to get ahold of the owner, only to be cut off by, you guessed it, the employee who was so rude to me. Any suggestions on how to circumvent her???

Ok, now, OP, this is how I think of it when people make a rude comment: "does saying I look sick make you look any better????" or whatever it is they are saying. I would definitely call the store and speak to a manager or someone, and tell them you definitely expect something to be done about this situation. I know it may not be easy, but, just think of how many other people you may be saving from these rude comments. As customers, we HAVE TO put a stop to the rudeness of employees. It has almost become commonplace and accepted to be treated rudely when we are customers. I, for one, don't accept it.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I cant stand people like that!! Im so sorry your dealing with losers like that.
Our healthy DD is 7 and already that crap is starting for her. Kids always tell her she needs to pack on some meat, that shes a toothpick, skeleton, etc. She feels extremely self conscious because of them.

I dont think there is anything you can do but handle those people graciously with a little bit of acid mixed in- give them a catch you off guard comment.
"Were you two referring to me looking sick because I am so thin? "
Embarrass their stupid selves and maybe they won't be so rude to another customer

HUGS to you.
You dont need to defend your health to ANYONE

Thank you so much to everyone for such kind words. Its nice to know there are are sincere people in this world.

I know just how you feel. I was super skinny growing up and just within the last few years have gained weight. I am 5'7" and weighed 92 lbs. Even after having 2 kids. I went to the dr. had all kinds of bloodwork done and they could find nothing wrong with me.



Try not to let them make you feel bad about yourself ( I know easier sad then done ) I am sure they are just jealous of you and that was their way of making themselves feel better.

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dbnm3,
I am sorry that this happened to you. It makes me mad when I hear things like this.

Hugs, Shirley

I would also contact the manager.Store employees are there to help you,not talk about you or make fun about you.I am willing to bet that this was not the first or last time they will act like that,before someone makes a call to complain.Maybe the manager has gotten complaints about them,and warned it better not happen again or else,,,,,

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Tons. There's lots of ways to find out without ever leaving your home, even more if you're willing to. The easiest way is just to call back and ask for an employment application. She'll tell you that you have to come in to get one. You can ask for the owner's name then.

If she really won't give it out, not a problem. The Better Business Bureau will. Run an online check or pick up the phone and ask them. The Freedom of Information Act is your friend (in this case, anyway). Use it. Plus, all businesses must pay taxes. You can find out who paid those taxes and contact them. Most states have online tax records.

Really, you can probably save time and just Google it! You'd be surprised what a simple search of the business name will turn up.

I think young people use the term 'sick' as a compliment -- they really do! Sort of like saying that something is 'bad' (when they think it is good), etc.

Not trying to play the devil's advocate or cause trouble... I'm trying to get you to realize that they probably were not meaning it in the literal sense of the word.

Employees of a store should not make any comments about any customers, period. I feel really badly that this happened to you... I'd talk with the manager.

Oh, I have his name, just can't get in touch with him. I have called there and asked to speak to him directly, only to be put on the phone with this woman (a different woman answered the phone). I then asked for him again, and she claimed to have explained the entire situation to him, and he told her to take the call. So, how do I get ahold of HIM???? I'm sure the mail is intercepted by her, too.

Oh, and as for BBB, I filed a complaint with them, and stated in my "resolution" desired section that I wanted the owner to call me (small business, owner signs the checks). He never did, and BBB said there was nothing they could do in that regard.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I work retail and one night there was a girl in our store wearing a t-shirt that said on the front, "do I make you look fat?" When I told her I liked her shirt she said she made it herself after a having a really tough day with people's comments.

I'm sure the OP was able to tell from the tone and influx of the voice what the gals meant when they said 'sick'. There is definitely a difference.
She was there; I'm sure she could discern whether it was complimentary or a form of degradation.

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Dont go through life,
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Real eyes...realize...real lies.

The way they said it was hurtfull and nasty ! The women who called the other worker over was not a young girl she was probably in her late 40s. and the other worker who laughed was probably in her late 20s. People are going to judge me no matter what. I cant change the way I look , or the comments they make outloud or to themselves.

Oh my... I'm so sorry. I feel for you.

He may know that you're trying to talk to him and really is avoiding you. However, if you know his name, you can get his adddress from the Tax office and send him a registered letter. You may even be able to track down his home phone number on the Web. If all else fails, file a claim in small claims court. They'll charge you a small filing fee but win or lose, you'll get his attention. If he doesn't respond, you win the judgement by default.

I can't believe the nerve.

I am sorry that you had to endure this.

I've never overheard any comments about me personally, but in Sept. Faith and I flew to Fl. When we were leaving and I was checking the bags the ladies behind the counter were all dark complected. I am fair and blonde and Faith is mixed. One of the ladies said to her co worker "come here, look at this one (meaning Faith) your going to like her, she's mixed!" I was not meant to hear it, they hadn't seen me step closer to the counter. The manager realized I heard and stepped up and was VERY nice and accomadating. I still don't know if I should have been offended...

Some male security guards who were also mixed commented on how cute she was. I relayed the comment to them in a conversational manner and they seemed shocked so that got me thinking.

What do you all think....

sorry to highjack the thread, I just thought it would be a good place to ask! :0)

Playing devil's advocate here, just to get a different spin on it --- Are you sure they were actually talking about you? Could it be that they were talking about someone or something happening out in the mall that you couldn't see? Just wondering.

But if they were, they were very rude to be doing it and I would have called their attention to it immediately!! If they were talking about you, you could have said something like "Excuse me??" That usually shuts people up really quick!

Sorry about your day. Obviously the people that made fun of you totally feel inferior of their bodies. I bet they weren't as thin as you. But I would pursue the issue w/ management-this is not acceptable at all!!!!!!!!!!!

I know for a fact that the comment was directed toward me. I was given a dirty look when i walked into the store , I walked straight to the crocs and the women told the other girl to come here. This was not in a mall it was a shoe store all by itself. There was no one else standing by me and my mom. When I turned around to show her that i did here what she said she gave me a dirty smerk. I didnt not say anything because I was in shock and and very hurt.