The last few weeks have been overwhelming, and now I find myself looking out the window wondering what just happened....

A little over a year and a half ago, I had a great job, was living in the burbs of Chicago with a huge social netword and loving life. I guess you could say that I was one of those sterotypical corporate chicks with the hip apartment who lived on coffee and sushi most of the week. I was having fun being single, dating and traveling and whatnot.

The most amazing guy walked into my life and hit me like a freighttrain. I went out on a "sorta blind date" with him for an ice cream cone on father's day last year, and a month later, we hated to spend a second away from each other. A little over a year went by, and we were best friends, having the time of our life, and had turned into one of those sick couples that everyone is jealous of. He's sweet, charming, and so wicked cute you can't stand it. My mother called him "magazine pretty" and my father loved that fact that he was a doctor. My blue-collar Dad loved the fact that I was with someone who was not onlyh smart, but loved to work in the garage. My boyfriend could fix almost anything, rehab any house, and built custom cabinets as a hobby. He was also kind to my family and spent hours listening to my Dad's silly stories and would make it a point to sit next to my mother at every family get-together. Even my crazy sister (who we call the Princess of Darkness) loved him....and she doesn't like anyone!

This past Labor Day weekend, he asked me to marry him (only after he asked my father first....gotta love those old fashioned guys). Of course I said yes....and thousand times yes....

He was also offered a new job in another state. This caused me to make the hard decision to leave my job. What I do I could market anywhere, his job is MUCH more specialized. With his income, I wouldn't even have to work if I didn't want to. It was also hard to agree to leave Chicago. I loved it there. But, I liked the idea of starting a new adventure with someone I love, so...I said yes again.

We also decided that we should have the wedding before we left Chicago, because that is where all my friends and family are located. We picked the Saturday after Thanksgiving and we would be moving to Virginia 10 days after.

I had about 60 days to plan the wedding, which was going to be small, but my mother got a little out of control and the invites went out to over 180 people, So, in a short time, I planned a wedding, a move, and wrapped up my corporate job. I forgot to mention that my fiance was already working in VA, leaving me behind to do most of this. He also spent 3 weeks out of the country. I still don't know how I pulled it all together.

We were married on Nov 24, and it was a great day. Everyone we cared about was there, or at least there in spirit. The Monday after, my new husband flew to VA to finalize things on the new house while I was left to my final days in the office and prepare of the movers.

My father hadn't been feeling well, and just to play it safe he checked himself into the hospital that Monday. He has had a few propblem over the last 2 years, and carries oxygen for times that he has trouble breathing. The night of the wedding he was hopping from table to table, talking to people he hasn't seen in years. He was having the time of his life....and on Thursday night, my mother called me crying, and told me my father was gone.

I spent the next few days dealing with the arrangements, calling countless people to give them the bad new (bad news that I had to relive over and over again) and comforting my devistated mother and inconsolable sister. My new husband flew home immediately when I called him, so he took care of most of the move and tried to keep me sane.

On Friday of last week, the movers had taken our stuff and pulled out of Chicago.

Here it is Tuesday morning in Richmond, VA. I'm alone in my big new house, surrounded by boxes. So much has happened. I left my job, met the man of my dreams, left my comfortable little life, planned a wedding and got married in less than 60 days, and lost my father.

I just don't know how I got here...or how I'm going to make it.

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I'm the kind of woman when my feet hit the floor in each morning, the devil says "Oh crap, she's up."

WOW! Treasure the memories of your very happy and loved Daddy. Good luck once your settled in you'll feel better.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Don't think there is anything anyone can say to take the hurt away but trust me it does get easier. Take comfort in your new husband and be strong for your mom and sister. You will make it, honest you will.

Gosh what a roller coaster of emotions you have experienced!

Congrats on your new marriage, new move, and new home.

I am SO sorry for your loss, Kelliiiii.
Many (((HUGS)))

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@@@
l/ l/ l/
Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

Sounds like to me that you need to sit down and take it easy for a bit!

You have got to be terribly overwhelmed!! I know you are excited about starting your new life (congrats on the "magazine pretty" doctor and your marriage) but you have had a terrible loss as well--not to mention leaving your hometown, job, friends and family and moving to the east coast (BTW--welcome to VA--I live on the VA/NC border). So.....leave the boxes (they will be there when you are ready and able to unpack them--just unpack the necessities) and try to sit back and relax a bit. You did ALOT in 60 days! Rest for awhile......clear your head. Richmond has much to offer and you and your new DH will be happy there!

Hang in there!

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Mom to a beautiful 15 year old DD and my handsome little man who's 6!

~~~GO DALE JR!!~~~

I agree with Pugs, leave the boxes, sit back and relax. This has been a heck of a time for you! You did more in 60 days then most people do in three years!! Enjoy life for a while!! Congrats and may you find much happiness.

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GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!!

Sorry for the loss of your dad.
It sounds like you've had too much to deal with and now it's all settling down and not only are you left to deal with everything new and different but you're also left to grieve the loss of your father. A move is huge......marriage is huge.....leaving a job is huge......everything in your life right now is overwhelming. Try to make your house a home, unpack boxes, decorate. Look for a job, make friends, socialize and get on with your life. It will be hard.....and you will still need to take time to grieve. Only time will lessen your pain.
Hugs to you!

I am sorry about the loss of your father.
Sending Hugs and Prayers,

Shirley

First of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad.

And I wish you the very best on starting your new life with your new husband -- you need to take a breath and focus on your future. As you are particularly realizing -- life is short and must be cherished.

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad... You sound kinda like me a few years back. I lost my dad, my marriage and I met a great guy, moved to a new state and started over. Its hard in the beginning, overwhelming ......... BUT you will adjust , it does get easier with time. I have always been told. "god doesn't give us nothing we cant handle". There were times I didn't believe it, but I got thru everything and I'm fine!

Just remember You have someone that loves you. He respected your father enough to ask HIM for your hand . That is a good man!

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

Wow, where do I begin? I do know how you feel about losing your dad. My dad died on Thanksgiving Day a few years ago. I know how you're feeling about being in a new place and different state, too. When we were first married, we moved to North Carolina, leaving behind all my friends and family. I can remember sitting down after my husband went to work (before I had found my job) and feeling so lost. That was before cell phones and long distance calls cost a lot, so I couldn't just pick up the phone and call home. That was before computers too, so no instant messaging and e-mailing.

I'm in Virginia too (but I'm near Roanoke), so we're about 3 hours from each other. My son and his new bride moved near Richmond (Williamsburg) two years ago. I talk to them both daily. I do know what you're going thru. I hear them tell me the same things you're thinking.

I hope you'll be able to find new friends when you get your new job. Maybe find a church that has a lot of young couples. There's lots of things churches have for newly married couples.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad and with you moving away, I'm sure you feel completely out of touch with everyone back home. I suggest you pick up that cell phone and talk to your old friends, your mom, your family and anyone else. Then get on your computer and e-mail your friends. Do you have a MySpace account? We have all set up MySpace accounts now that our family has spread out to different places. We get on there and have a blast -- sending pictures and funny comments.

Well, I hope I've given you some ideas. The weather is beautiful today, so get outside and enjoy the sunshine. It always helps me to get outside. Go to a mall near you and look at all the Christmas decorations. Then come home, unpack some boxes, decorate for Christmas a little, light some candles, make some dinner and then have a glass of wine in a nice bubble bath!!!

(((HUGS)))

I am sorry for your loss of your father, but congratulations on finding the man of your (and, remember your father's) dreams too. Let him help you through this time; both the loss of father, job and city and apartment you love and friendly faces nearby. Who knows what new experiences your changes can ADD to your life. Look at this as an adventure and a positive and you will have such a better time adjusting and meeting new people. Since you have the luxury of doing so financially, look for just the PERFECT job for you because that will help you more than you know. Trust your instincts--you will get through this in no time! I know, I have been in the same boat with far less of a perfect situation financially. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time and this will all soon be behind you and your new hubby! Pull out some bubbly and toast to the new adventures ahead.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad, I lost mine in June and its hard I still expect to call down there and him answer and the first words out of his mouth were always "How's My Peanut"; Peanut being my DS who he and Mom spoiled rotten. Mom's all alone but we take it one day at a time and I cherish every memory good and some bad of my Dad.

You have had a whirlwind year, the man of your Dreams and your Dad's was brought into your life and let him be there and help you through this tough time. I'm sure the move is overwhelming and all just take time to reflect and not stress over the little things. Your only 2 hours from me and Washington DC and the history come up see the sites with your New DH when he has time off. By Any chance did he take a job at MCV? My family Doctor just did and I hate losing he but it was/is the chance of the lifetime for her.

Just know we're here still at MC to support you, vent to etc.

I will keep your whole family in my thoughts and prayers, trust me it will get better.

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

I am so sorry to read about your dad. You must feel some sense of relief knowing that he was so happy for you and was with you celebrating your wedding. What a joyous day it must have been. I understand your feelings of emptiness right now. You just lost your dad, and everything that is familiar to you is not there. Do get busy looking for a job, and try to stay busy so you don't slip into a state of depression. It would be a good idea for you and your new husband to back to Chicago for Christmas. It would also mean the world to your mom.

Sorry you're going through this right now. Try and stay connected to family and friends.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I am sorry for the loss of your father....how devestating that must be to you and your family. I am sure that you will cherish your wedding memories even more as a result.

That said, I think that you need to have a baby. Might as well get all the stress items taken care of in one year.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Oh CJ! I'll admit I was thinking that was the last big stress item she was missing!

Kelliii I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. (((HUGS))) You have gone through so much in the past couple of months, lots of big stressful changes. Just remember one day at a time.....

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

They say that the most stressful things that can happen are the death of a loved one, a move, a marriage, a job change, and birth. You've had most of those in a VERY short time period. It's not surprising that you would be feeling overwhelmed. I can't imagine the emotions you must be experiencing. Just breathe in and breathe out and take each day one at a time.

Best wishes to you.

Kim

OMG! Could you imagine! That cracked me up!


I am sorry to hear about your Dad, you seem very close to him. I know from recent experience what a loss of a parent can mean and I couldn't imagine having the rest of the load you had to handle at the same time.

I would take some time off, get organized ( at least that helps me relax and focus) maybe join the gym and meet some new people.

Good luck in your new home.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

You have my condolences on the loss of you dad. I would invite your mom and sister to visit when they are up to it, it may help them to have a change of scenery and you to make your new home feel like home by having family there.

Wow! My jaw dropped reading everything you have gone through. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Just take comfort in knowing that your father knows you will be taken care of by a good man. The timing of everything really stinks though. Just take it one day at a time. Virginia is a really nice place-we are about 2hrs. away from Richmond, so welcome. And holler if you need anything. Also, remember, most of us Virginians think faster than we talk....

I am so sorry kinda sounds like my life though about 9yrs ago I met my now dh & my dad told me he wouldnt leave me tell he knew I was taken care of & then he was gone I know I lost my dad within 2 months of meeting my now dh

Anyways loosing your father alone is devasting but probably all the unknown things of this move is taking a toll it sounds like you are far away from your loved ones when you need each other the most I am so sorry about your dad I know its horrible I know the day my dad died a piece of me went with him ya know its an unexplainable hurt that never goes away but lessens as the years go by

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mom of 3 greats girls

Thanks to everyone for their kind words.

The house is still littered with boxes (5 bedrooms worth) and I'm digging out slowly each day. My mother seems to be hanging in there, and my sister has stopped crying everytime she calls me. The sympathy cards keep coming, and I cry a little with each one I open, but I have enjoied seeing just how many lives my father touched. There were about 300 people at his memorial service, and many more that couldn't travel into the Chicago weather to make it there. We've been geting cards from all over the country (my dad was really involved with the Moose Lodge).

My husband has been amazing through all of this (gosh, it still feels strange to call him my husband and not my boyfriend). We've spent a lot of nights curled up in from of the fireplace since we landed here.

I still miss my job a little. I worked with some amazing people and loved what I was doing. Making homemade chicken soup or beef stew is a far cry from going over budgets or negotiating million dollar deals, but I think I will get used to it....at least for a little while....I've already been looking at the job boards.

Again, thanks for letting me vent here. I needed it....

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I'm the kind of woman when my feet hit the floor in each morning, the devil says "Oh crap, she's up."

I am sorry for your loss. Welcome to Virginia, it is a wonderful place to live. Remember that when God closes a door, he opens a window. You have a bright future ahead of you with your wonderful husband. Your Dad hung on to see you be married and happy. I wish you peace. PM me if you want, I live in Richmond.

You can do both - I'm sure of it! Perhaps a notch down in intensity, but if I were a betting woman, I'd predict that you'll find a nice balance there somewhere....

Good luck and happy holidays to you and your husband!

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Thinking about you today and hoping you have a wonderful first Christmas as a married couple