ABout once a week or so my son, who's in Kindergarten says he doesn't want to go to school.

He is repeating kindergarten this year because we didn't have such a good first time around, so there are probably issues there. When I ask him why he says it's boring and today, it was "it takes until the sun goes down". He doesn't have a great class this year, the one kid that sort of gravitates toward him is a troublemaker, very rough and has a smart mouth. The kids from his class last year don't really play with him now since he's not with them all of the time. I am assuming this is what bores him, but have a hard time getting him to explain it.

I haven't written to the teacher yet, but might need to. He said he was really doing well at the last conference after our rough start to the year.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Could it be the friend thing? What should i tell him when he says he doesn't want to go?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

My kids say it all the time.. I just say we all have to do things we don't want to do! Maybe Daddy doesn't WANT to go to work, but if he didn't we'd be homeless! Maybe I don't WANT to wash their laundry but if I didn't they'd have no clean clothes. But they probably don't have the same issues as your son. My son wanted to miss a certain day EVERY week because of some test or assignment, at one point!

I tried the daddy and work thing, but he tuned me out before I could get that thought out. I don't want to ignore what he's saying, maybe there 's a problem I need to figure out? And I don't want him to not like school, I try to point out the fun stuff, gym, art, friends? At least if he had a test I could understand, heck, I'd want to play hookie too!

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Since he is bored and already gets what was taught last year, maybe he can be the teacher's helper and help his classmates who don't understand what is going on or get certain things.

I'd say, "Put your shoes on, you're going."

I'd say tough (bleep). Get in the car.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

I would talk with the teacher to make him aware of your child's issues so that he can keep an eye on him better. In a class full of kids, sometimes things get overlooked, but if you bring your concern to the teacher they may be able to observe a little closer to see if there is anything affecting your son in the classroom.

I carpool with another family, and sometimes the mother has to drag her son to our car to get him in-- he's in Kindergarten too, but I think he just has mommyitis- because once we get to the drop off at school he is all smiles.

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I tell my son that it's the law - if he doesn't go to school the police will come take me away and put me in jail.

I have to agree with what was said about him being possibly bored. I think it is a great idea to talk with the teacher and let her know that he needs to be engaged more, in the classroom.

We went through this with my daughter when she repeated Kindergarten. It was really hard for both of us. There were 4 girls and 15 boys in her young 5's class, so there weren't many girls to pick from. At the start of the year, two of the girls were inseperable, so that left my daughter with one friend in the class. By the end of the year, she was best friends with all 3. I would say to give it time, schedule play dates with new and old friends, and never let him know that you are concerned. He will pick up on your anxiety. Best of luck!

Rebecca

My son pulls the same thing now and then. I think they just test you to see if you would let them stay home. (i know my son is doing that) once i say to bad your going anyway he doesn't say anything and forgets all about it. He knows i don't give in to that type of thing. Just be firm about it and tell him hes going regardless what he wants.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

If your child doesn't like going to school because he isn't challenged or "bored", I would consider placing him in a different school or classroom . . . If there were any good private schools around here that is where my children would go - regardless of cost (and no I am not rich).

I'm sure I'll catch heat for this, but I believe that the answer to these questions should be crystal clear (i.e. what everyone else has said). If they are not, you need to get clear on it because many a child will play your indecision for all its worth.


cj/
(I think I've watched Dr. Phil a bit too much lately!)

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

If I'm remembering correctly, this is the child that academically did just fine in K? However, the behavior/maturity level was in question?
If this is the situation, the poor guy is bored to tears. I don't blame him one little bit, I wouldn't want to go to school either. Since that's not acceptable at this point, the student needs to be challenged with some advanced work. I don't agree with the teacher using him as a helper all the time.
My DS has always been a bit behind in the behavior/maturity category. However, he's always been an A student with an occassional B. This year, DS is in the 7th grade and the change has been a dramatic one. His behavior is wonderful and he is adjusting to jr. high school very well. There's a little more progress to be made with being responsible and keeping up with special assignments that are assigned 2-3 wks. in advance. We're working on that issue and I have no doubt DS will catch up in all behavior categories.

My kids say that all the time - because they don't want to get up in the morning. They are all warm and cozy in there beds. But, I tell them that I don't want to hear that everyday, because I already know that they don't want to go, but there is nothing I can do about it.

My son is bored to tears because he isn't being challenged enough. I finally called the teacher and set up an appt. Now he does like it better, because he has to think now - it isn't sooooo easy. So, maybe your son just needs to have some different work from the other kids - that is more challenging for him.

Geez, when I was a kid, I couldn't wait to go to school - to socialize with my friends. I would be bored to tears at home.

No, don't get me wrong, I don't waver, he goes no matter what (he gets attendance awards for not missing days). One time I told him that he didn't have to go, but he had to get a job if he didn't. I got the classifieds out and we read them, looking for something he could do and of course he realized school was the only thing.

I am glad that other kids say the same thing, I just didn't think he wouldn't like it ALREADY, high school maybe but in Kindergarten? I really loved school and I want him to have fun too, I feel bad that he doesn't. I think if he had more friends that would make it easier too.

We went to school tonight, Santa was there and both kids didn't want to go home, they were playing with friends and haveing cookies, a bunch of holiday fun.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

That's so funny!

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

My middle son repeated kindergarten also. He's now in 6th grade, so the early difficulties of repeating are over (your friends moved on but you didn't). It was predicted that going through a second time would give him a chance to be ahead academically of his grade peers, at least for a while, which might give him more confidence and might make him relax.

There was quite a period of time when all he liked was lunch (and breakfast) and phy ed/recess at school.

I believe that the second half of the school year contains the most new stuff, so maybe his boredom is about to come to a natural end anyways. The teacher giving him some extra jobs/responsibilities sounds great too.

As far as not wanting to go to school ... I do let my kids have a 'mental health day' when they need it. Sleeping in an extra hour or two in a quiet house, etc. seems to work wonders. But I think of school as their job.

First I would try to find out the real issue (I know, easier said than done with a young child). If it is a boredom issue, I would go to the teacher ASAP and see what can be done to challenge your son. If he's boread at school, he could start acting out or getting into trouble or just not interested in learning anymore and you don't want that. If it were some other issue (being teasted or bullied, etc.), I would get to the bottom of it, but as long as I felt my child was not in danger, I would still make him go to school.

My 7 year old says he doesn't want to go to school quite a bit, but it's just because he's not a 'morning person' and he hates to get up at 6:30am (what can I say -- he's just like his mom -- *I* wish school started an hour later than it does -- even 30 minutes would be better <lol>). When he says he doesn't want to go, I simply say, "We all have to do things we don't like to do". That seems to put a stop to the complaining when he realizes I'm not going to let him stay home.

If you can't figure our the real issue with your DS, send a note to the teacher asking him/her if anything going on in class that you should know about. Even if the teacher says he/she is not aware of anything, it will put your DS more on their 'rader screen' and they may keep a closer eye on him.

Sarah..........mom to Jason & Devin