Just curious how everyone rates their marriage....not using anyone's definition of good but your own. How do you rate your marriage? Is it what you want it to be? 1 is worst, 10 is best.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

cj, you sure come up with some interesting topics!

My marriage is a 10.

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l/ l/ l/
Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

My first marriage would have been in the minus..lol but the last 10 yrs have been a 10

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"Never loan your car to someone you have given birth too"

Congrats on your "10" marriage, AMulquin - were if we were all that fortunate!!


cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I have to agree with NY mom. First one was probably a 3. David and I have only been married since June and it's a 10 plus.

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If you're not living on the edge, you're wasting space.

I said 8 b/c there's ALWAYS room for improvement. As AMulquin knows, mine hasn't always been easy but it's gotten much better (and she gives great advice!)

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Unfortunately, I had to say 3 and that may be generous. We don't fight, but there is a total lack of "participation". I might as well be single with a helpful "manny".

We had major issues in the past (lack of trust, lies, etc on his part. A Supposed internet "chat" addiction that led to some terrible choices on his end. We have separated and even had a divorce filed BEFORE all of his issues grew). I am having a terrible time forgetting and moving on. If I thought it was for the best, I would look into the divorce. I am just not convinced that I should give in yet. I want to know I gave us every chance possible. I often wonder if I can do it alone and then I wonder if I should. I have 4 kids, but they seem to have a lack of respect for him also. (he can be super controlling and rigid). They don't even know all of the past (of course.) Tough.......

Before his retirement or after?

WOW, does that change your life!

HI I gave it a 10 I have a wonderful husband and Daughter so I give my life a 10 also sometimes I think I'm in a dream its so great!!!! I love this poll and topic thanks
hyidi

I voted 3 also for lack of participation I also might as well be single all my dh does is work to pay for his stupid toys. THe days I work I have to find a sitter I have to do everything in the house he wont come to the kids xmas play for the 3rd year in arow his family feels sorry for him as well as his friends but its his own stupid fault my kids know everything they are getting for xmas cause he works 7 days a week sometimes 16hrs days so he can pay for a stupid motorcycle he cant even ride because of his crippled leg. And a stupid brand new truck me & the kids arent allowed in!!! HMM can ya tell I am ticked at him right NOW I told him today when the youngest starts school its over. I am even considering leaving sooner but not sure yet. I have been offered a way better job out of town & have no clue whats holding me other than youngest dd would then be in daycare & I hate that thought. So considering leaving right after xmas.

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mom of 3 greats girls

Not married here, but have been "living in sin" for 18 years with the same guy. I rate our relationship as an 8. As someone else said there is always room for improvement. The best part is that every day he makes me laugh. Not a chuckle, or a smirk. An out loud, head turning laugh. And as that old saying goes, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints."

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I voted 9.....because with DH gone so much, we always have peaks and valleys, and have re-learn each other all the time....but it's worth it!

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Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

I went with a 9, probably could have been an 8 if I thought about it more. There are a couple of "issues" we still need to work on like I am sure most people have, nothing major, but still room for improvement on both of our parts.

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5 due to a lack of participation on his part.

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I chose 9 as we are happier than we have ever been. The first few years I would have went with a 2 or 3 but after 18 years it has gotten so much better.

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I would say a 3 right now... He is making really stupid decisions that are hurting my heart. I love him, but sometimes wonder if he loves me.

I went with an 8 - I just wish there was more romance.

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Mary

10 cause nothing can top a traditional marriage,

9-1/2 ~ I'd give it a 10 if DH could cook!

Wow a 9?? Thats great it shows you have a solid marriage!! Before DH retired from the Army I would of said 6 or 7....be taking the 4 for when he was gone and 10 when he was home. But since July I would have to say 10+, its a totally different life and we are like Newlyweds

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Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
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even though i have been a widow for awhile now i have to tell you when Tim was
here our marriage was a perfect 10 he was the greatest man i ever met.

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Tim
My Husband, My Love....Best Dad
You Were Taken From Us Way To Soon
Forever In Our Hearts
We Will Always Love You
2-18-69 TO 12-23-03
http://www.freewebs.com/mcgrathville/index.htm

DH and I have been married 28 years and it's a 10

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

I voted an 8 because there is always room for improvement as quoted above. We are on 9 years - the first 7 we had babies. Now that we are growing out of that stage and "sleeping" we are much better!

10 plus marriage is wonderful and great.

I would vote a 10, we aren't married yet but he always makes me laugh and always tells me I am the best thing that's happend to him and how I will be a great wife and does little things for me that some people may think he is crazy, but its the little things that make me happy Now with my ex-husband I would be in the negative because he was self-centered and all he thought about was his self.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I gave an 8. DH and I become better and better partners to one another each year.
We accept that neither of us is perfect and try to work at our marriage all the time. We want to be better role models for our kids than our parents were to us.

To those who rate their marriage in the low range - I wish you the wisdom to weather your storm and the strength to handle the stress a difficult relationship must bring.

Not sure how to vote, because right now, it's one-sided. He's lovely, and kind, and takes very good care of me, but pregnancy's kicking my butt, so I haven't been the best wife. He's taken over a lot of the housework, is patient when I'm sick, which is most of the time, and avoids complaining. I really couldn't ask for more. I'd like to return the kindness when I feel better, but not sure when that will be.

Being married 2 year.. rate it (10 plus) being together March 25 next year 7 year..first marry

That was very nice and thoughtful to say, Nightowl. I am sure many, as did I, appreciate your sentiments.

Wow Stella,
It's hard to believe it's been almost four years since you lost Tim. He did sound like quite a remarkable man-glad you got to have a "10," but so sorry you didn't have it for longer.

As for me, I would rate us about a 7. He is trustworthy, kind, and loves me to pieces, but just wish there could be more romance, and I just wish sometimes we could be more on the same page. For instance, my best friend and I finish each other's sentences. When I try to do that w/ DH, he snaps at me for interrupting. Sometimes I find myself not telling him things-just because it's easier not to. While he is extremely intelligent, most of the time I have to way overexplain things-he gets too caught up in non-essential details-king of hard to explain. And the snoring, did I mention the snoring?????????????? We have been married 18 yrs., and have been through a lot. Do I love him? Yes, absolutely. But there are days when I wish there could be a few more fireworks.

Quote from Linnybop:

Me too. I would rate my DH and I about an 8 after 27 years of marriage. He is trustworthy, kind, and loves me to pieces, but just wish there could be more romance. And he SNORES way too much!!! Sometimes we yell too much in our house too. Not real anger but we are loud at times. DH and teenage son tend to bicker. We are all together for the long haul though. A few more fireworks would be nice, but he's my steady guy.

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Donna

Sure there are ups and down but I wouldn't want to be riding it with anyone else!! 10!

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Vicki


TLJ Women united in Spirit!

At this point, I could not even rate it. So many things going wrong right now. I know it needs to end but me being the stupid one KNOWS that there is good somewhere in him, it just needs to come out. He has moved out and to be honest, it is a real relief. He has become SO controlling--doesn't understand my shopping and deal findings, but yet brags how I can feed us for so cheap. Hmmmmm......just very 2 sided.
He has a son that is 8 and he is such a brat. We fight about that alot. His son is so disrespectful--tells DH to shut up, you are an a**hole, you faggot, you loser and NOTHING gets done. He spanked him once for his nasty mouth and the kid gets on the phone right away and calls his mom and next thing you know, he is getting taken back to court for some bogus reason. He keeps saying this is how it is gonna be for the next 10 years until ***** is 18. Well, I am not going to live like that and I will not make my 14 year old son live this way either. Actually, his 2 kids have been the major source of most of our problems, unfortunately. He is too afraid to discipline them for fear of the wrath his ex will bestow on him. It's just crazy. A lot better since he has moved back into his mother's house though. I do not need to deal with his disrespectful son quite as much. This kid also when he is around me, feels the need to throw things at me. like shoes and break all of my son's things. My son tries to be a good sport about it all, but why should he have to suffer, We were fine before him, just me and my son and we can be fine again without all of this crazy drama.
He is a terror on wheels and it just breaks my heart that this relationship is probably going to end because of this 8 year old. We could deal with some of the other problems, but there is NO dealing with his son. We have been together for 3 years so this is not a new situation for him (the son), but he just feels that we deserve NO respect and NOTHING is being done about it. Well, its the New Year so I guess it is a good time to make some changes, huh ??

We were a 10+, but he had a head injury that has robbed the kids and I of his attention/time. So, rating him a 7 is sort-of unfair...but the injury has created constant headaches, Dr. visits, insomnia..then fatigue, mood swings...a whole lot of crud he didn't deserve. He's not the same guy.

The headaches are the worst...I have decided that the headaches are like a mistress. Yet a mistress he can not control, nor one he wants to have around. For some reason the headache's name is Horatio...why a male name? I haven't a clue....we are a traditional male/female couple. If I haven't mentioned...I'm a bit of a nut.

(We've been married for 12 years. 5 with Horatio.)

I'd give mine a 4. It is what you make it as husband and wife. We are seeing counseling but things just haven't improved. We have been married 11 years and more than half it seems we have been fighting - we have an awful way of fighting! So like I said it is what it is and what we've made it. It sure is nice to see the positive responsed though - whew!! there is love in marriage! But I'm like one of the posters that mentioned her husband was injured. Mine had a traffic collision that really did a number on his back about 5 years ago. He/his back has never been the same. His back can hurt and he will be short with me or our daughter. He seems to be miserable and I hate that I hate his back problems...ah well..

Interesting footnote to my response....I got brave and asked DH this question. There was not going to be a right answer....if he said low, I would wonder why we were together if we both thought that. If he said too high, I would have wonder what kind of denial he was in. He said 3.....TOO. Sigh....great....

I'm bummed for you that rated your marriages low. I really hope it gets better or you have the strength to move on. I know that is hard.

I would rate mine an 8. We've been married for a little over a year and we've had our struggles adjusting. But, we're learning and doing pretty well. I certainly believe there is room for improvement, though.

Best wishes to you all.

Kim

10! To put up with my moods sometimes how could he not be LOL!

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I said seven. In the six years of marriage we have had three kids (and are expecting #4), I have had cancer, he has RA and very severe cronic pain. Without those trials I bet it would be higher.

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saraedawson@yahoo.com

Mommy to Jake, Alexis, Abigail and Joshua, Wife to Matt

My hubby and I are going to celebrate 10 yrs of marriage in August!! Our relationship is very strong!! He supports the fact that I stay home with the kids. I have really nothing to complain about. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world!! He's my best friend and we enjoy doing everything together. We try to go on dates, as often as possible. I hope our relationship keeps up like this for years to come!! We've had our problems, like most couples do, but we always manage to work it out. I think the worst I have to deal with is my MOTHER IN LAW!! Can any of y'all relate to terrible mother in laws? She doesn't support the fact that I stay home with the kids, and makes me feel bad about it every chance she gets. I put up with it cause she is my husband's mother. I just limit my time I spend with her.

Even though we were just married 7/7/7 we have been together since 1992. We have grown together, feel totally comfortable with each other (I would hate to have to start walking around naked around someone at this point in my life LOL) and know what to expect from each other.

I put 9 because nothing's perfect. I am happy with my marriage and my life and consider myself very lucky.

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I said 7 and I don't really think that is bad just realistic. I'm not perfect, he's not perfect but we can deal through it all.

LOL that is what I fear.

I voted with a 7. We have been married for 2 years and I am expecting our first child in June. Our marriage was great until we started building our "dream" home about 9 months ago. Now, we fight about the house. What tile, what style, the basement, the pantry, the extras, everything. I just want our home to be finised before June!!! Our building team has promised to be finished no latter then April. I can't wait to shop for furniture..... My friend is plannning the baby shower at our home the beginning of May! Pray the house is ready by then

Congrats on the new home and a baby on the way!!! I'm sure y'all are under alot of stress right now with everything going on. The fighting will probably subside once everything the house is complete and the baby is here. When will you find out what you're having? Best Wishes!!!