As most of you know, I am way BROKE.... I'm a single mom with a 15 month old. Also 2 teenage daughters. I have really gotten into a financial slump, and now am in a weird position. A friend of the family is also ina dificult position, a female my age with custody of her grandson which is 3. She is wanting to move in, "rent a room". She is offering $400 a month, plus groceries. What experience, if any, does anyone have with this? I don't want to get in an awkward position, but also could definantly use the extra money. What do yall think???

No experience to offer, but of all the possibilities, this one doesn't sound too bad. I would do some digging into the situation with the child's birth parents however to ensure that there is no anger, disputes, violence, alcohol, drugs, etc in the picture (although may be likely if the parents have lost or gave up custody). Bringing any of those things into my home would be a non-starter for me.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I would make sure that your teenaged girls are on board with it. Teenagers that have to give up some thingssometimes resent things. i work with a couple that fuss constantly. A three year old would be a hand full also. On the other hand it might be the best thang that happened to both of you. I would make sure that she knows this is temporary until things work out for the both of you. Go for it if you both are in agreement on some things. The worst that can happen is you have to move her back out.

Put ANY agreement IN WRITING with specifics....with an end-date to revisit it......Make sure each of you know there is NO free babysitting-either by you or by the teens....no childcare..no "borrow your car", no cell phone bills, no long distance charges, no loaning or borrowing of $$$ Any damage MUST be reimbursed immediately.

Outline what is "common" area, and what is Off-Limits....define "visitor hours"...NO OVERNIGHTERS....

Would they have their own room/bathroom? What about utilities...shared? Washer/Dryer ?

Garage space???

In writing! Including when payment is due, and how much grocery sharing? And if some groceries will be kept seperate...then where will they be kept...

I realize it sounds so business-like...but it should be...It's YOUR home...and you don't need internal pressures from teens of anyone else to compromise. You too will be giving up personal space...make sure that's what you are willing to do. If you decide to try it, gets hook and eye locks for all doors so that 3 year old cannot "explore" off-limit areas.

Viv, Just a Grannie in Michigan

Excellent advice, van1! I agree.

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Real eyes...realize...real lies.

I also agree with van1 - I've seen too many "boarder" cases come before Judge Judy. CYA, Baby!

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Mary

It seems like a golden opportunity to make some extra money but I wouldnt do it. It is not easy to have someone living in your home. It changes the way you do everything and how you and your kids interact. Do you have a schedule that you like? Well, your new boarders might have a conflicting schedule and it messes yours all up.


If you are seriously going to do it, I would take advice from the previous poster that said to get everything in writing. Good Luck!

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

Years ago, my best friend and I did this and it worked out good, but it was only temporary (8 months). She was divorced with 2 kids and I was divorced with 2 kids, and my house had sold and I had to find a place to live. We both were strapped for cash, so we decided I would move into her house. My oldest was 18 in a month and decided to move on her own, so that left my then 5 year old, her 2 kids and mine were around the same age, so it was not too bad. I did all the grocery shopping (because I was better with money and coupons) and she had to trust me and eat what I bought, which she was ok with. We made all school lunches everyday and cooked all dinners at home. We were each responsible for our own laundry and our kids laundry, other household chores we shared. I paid a flat rate and she paid all the utitlities, etc. It allowed me in that 8 months to get almost all my bills paid off and to get a couple thousand in savings before moving out of state. We were best friends and it was still a strain though, we had "family meetings" when things didn't go right between us or the kids and because we were already friends we were able to work things out, not sure I would with a stranger.

Personally, I couldn't have borders in my house with if I had children, unless it was a close family member. There are a lot of things that could happen. Your daughters (teens) may feel like they have to play with and/or entertain the 3 year old or the 3 year old could get into their stuff. It could be stressful. Why does the grandma have custody? I know my aunt and uncle took in their nieces because of molestation happening to them living at home and then they went and molested one of their own kids. These girls were only 2 and 5 when they brought them in. They don't have to be teens to abuse. Don't want to scare you but it could happen. What about visitors? Can she have any? Too many "what ifs" IMO. Good luck in whatever decision you choose

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my borhter in law lived with us and the only way I would ever allow anyone to move in again is if we have a basement they could live in. it was such a pain ! he didint sleep when we did and wanted to watch tv all the time that he was up and not working and didnt want to do anything around here to help with the house work. I finally told my hubby that either I was leaving or his bother was and guess who left and who is still here.

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I have been having boarders a married couple for 2 years and it works out great, basically they pay the taxes on the house and we pay the ulities and it evens out. And it is the best thing that could happen.

just make sure everything is in writing.

Invite her and her g-kid for the weekend. See if your personalities mesh. You may find out that the kid wakes up screaming every night or g-ma is a closet drinker. Go into the weekend with the notion- we are both here to figure out if this could work. Take time over the weekend to lay down the ground rules. Have a family meeting at the end of the weekend and see what the kids think. Every one gets a vote.

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Lyn Clarke

where is your husband?

Good advice

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

What a rude question!

I've heard of cases where it worked out but I could never do it. There's so much that can go wrong and I don't want boarders in my house. It would change the family dynamics and I like mine the way they are now. As another poster pointed out, there's a risk to the children and I don't think I could take that risk.

If you do decide that it's right for you, I would get EVERYTHING in writing and a hefty deposit in case they take off without paying.

When I was 17 my mom took in a "boarder". Also a girl who was 17and both of her parents passed away when she was younger. She had been living with a relative who was moving out of state and she really needed a place to stay. We needed the money too because my step dad had just died.
Anyway, 20 years later, we are still best of friends. SHe lived with us for about 7 years and it has turned out great!!

Good luck to you!

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GO TONY!!!!!!!!!!! # 20!!!

I dont know your whole situation and how bad things are money wise, but if you get everything in writing and sit down a head of time and have a very straight forward conversation and things seem like they will be ok, and you really need the help, I would say go for it. I will probably be flamed for this, but I would not give my kids a say honestly. They are not the ones trying to make ends meet.

I had roommates before I was married and it is hard and especially with kids it would be really hard, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Why do you want to know? Are you writing a book? ~Lisa

Do you have space for her and the grandson?

Does her personality mesh well or is she bossy and self-centered? I agree with having her and the grandson spend the weekend as a trial run first - with that many people in the house you want to make sure people can find personal space.

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My sister has done something similar and it works, although it has been stressful at times, due primarily to NOT setting parameters in the beginning. I would definitely recommend laying out rules and responsibilities (buying your own groceries, laundry soap, making sure everyone turns off lights when they leave rooms, etc.). These things can become stressful quickly or they certainly did with my sister and her situation. They've been able to work it out, but there was some drama there!

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is a boarder's criminal history. No matter how upstanding they appear to be, it's something you need to check. Anybody can make a mistake but some offenses are indicative of character or current problems and can't be overlooked.