UGH! I am a pretty sensitive person and most of the time, I like the person that makes me. However, sometimes I hate it. Tonight, at work, I found out that a co-worker dislikes me and it is really bothering me. I can't figure out at all why. I have always been kind to her and never had any issues with her, nor anyone else at work for that matter. I have even given her a ride home after work one time when she had no transportation. And it was going far out of my way to do so. I am confident that I have not done or said anything to offend her. Well, tonight I heard she had been saying unkind things about me and when I went to ask her about it, she was really nasty. And she wouldn't tell me what the problem was. Brushed me off, saying she didn't want to talk to me, but not before telling me that lots of people at work have a "problem" with me. Although I don't believe that at all... it really hurt my feelings. Others at work told me not to care what she thinks, but that's hard for me.
I wish I could have the attitude of "who cares", but that just isn't me.

How do others handle this type of thing?
I could use a boost from my Cafe friends!
Thanks

I'm afraid you are just going to have to ignore her. Something similar happened to a friend of mine once. She's a very nice, church going woman. Another girl in the office (we were all in our late 20's or early 30's) who for no reason that any of us could figure out decided she didn't like this person. She would go to other offices and talk about her. She was really saying mean things. The other employees listened to her but let it go in one ear and out the other. They knew the real character of the person she was talking about and didn't believe anything this other girl said. I bet it's the same in your case. I bet no one believes anything she says. She may be a very unhappy person who is seeking any kind of attention she can get and if she has to get it by gossiping she is willing to do that. People will see her for what she is. Try not to let it get to you. You don't want to give her any power over you by letting her get to you. Just smile and keep your chin up! You are the better person!! Good Luck!!!

She was nasty because she was caught. Instead of answering, she deflected your question by bringing other people into it.
You've heard it before, I'll say it again: don't pay it any mind. Some people don't mesh. Some people are even jealous for whatever reason. Who knows. It must not have been too important an issue or "problem" else she would have taken the opportunity to tell you.

Just go to work, hold your head high, be professional, and leave it at that.

And look at it like this: one less person to have to worry about asking for a ride home?

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Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

I hope someone comes up with some good feedback because I'm having a panic attack after reading your post.I don't know how to deal with those kind of situations either other than hope it just fades away and things go back to normal. Hopefully it was just a bad day and tommorrow will be better.

I have gone through something like what is happening to you.

Wait it out - "This, too, shall pass" needs to be the mantra here for you.

No matter what, don't go trying to get on her good side - if she's as odd as it seems, she'd probably love the extra power that she'd feel in knowing how much her approval means to you.

There is truth to the saying that you can't please ALL the people ALL the time. So she's your person who can't be pleased right now, right? She could very well dislike you merely because she doesn't like that you're so well-liked!You have no control over her opinion of you, so don't waste your time. It probably would only make things worse.

Like Kathytheshopper says - everyone else probably has her number - just let your own positive character shine through.

Oh you guys are so great!
I feel so much better reading your responses. Thank you, I needed that!
And what wise advice!!!

Jovia...I'm sensitive too and I've had things like this bother me in the past. I agree with another poster above...I think that she was caught and didn't know what to do so she brought other people into it...tried to make you sound like you were the one who was crazy. She probably feels badly about herself so she may put you down to make herself feel better. She may even be jealous of you or the position you have at work. I'd ignore her from now on...I wouldn't be mean to her, I'd just not give her the time of day. Hopefully she won't be needing a ride anytime soon because you are not giving her one! ~Lisa

Aw, Jovia. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people have no social skills, and instead of going to someone they have a problem with and trying to work it out, they'd rather trash talk you behind your back. All you can do is continue to handle yourself in a dignified and professional manner, and other people will see how rude she is being.

In the meantime, (((hugs)))).

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

I'm going to bet she feels threated by you.. or is jealous..

Yep, I agree with vorphalack. I'm an admitted *goodie-two-shoes* I don't smoke, drink, swear, gossip (well, not too much), and I pretty much follow all the rules. I honestly think that some people do feel threatened or are jeolous...and they'd love to see a goodie-two-shoes go down. I've had people make things up about me and go to the boss and try to get me fired.

Hang in ther jovia, and try really hard to let it go. Just be you, and let her be her.

If possible, I'd hang out with the guys at your work. There are exceptions to every rule, but I'd say for the most part that men don't get into all this drama kind of stuff. They may be a little more competitve, but not in a personal way....


FWIW,
cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Keep in mind that when she is gossiping and saying nasty things, it reflects more on her than you. Others will be in tune to this and get to the point where they won't listen to her or what she says carries no merit. By any means, do not show her that you have been upset by what she has said. Bullies hate non-reaction.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I agree with you totally...Most of my best friends were guys at work...They were just buddies...The ones I went out to lunch with and sometimes hung out after work...The women were just too mean and catty...not all of them, because I did have a few good women friends...but most of them. I tend to get along with guys better. ~Lisa

Well I am going through a similar situation but in my neighborhood. I too am sensitive to a fault but I have learned that sometimes things are beyond your control like someone who has an issue with you for no reason and then poisons other peoples minds. I know for a fact my next door neighbor thru jealousy that my oldest daughter went to private school had issues. Funny part is she has way more money than us so I really couldn't figure. The Click has neighborhood jamborees and yet each of them has ransacked each others kids to me so who wants friends like that to begin with. I do walk now with my head up high because I know that I am a good person and they are missing out on me. If I ever let my mouth flapaka Gossip I could start a war but I can't be bothered because then I have become one of them.

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

Silly junior high behavior in adults is a reflection upon them, not you.

I always think people like this are pathetic. Go on with your life, keep your head up, and be assured anyone of any intelligence doesn't make their judgments of others based on nasty gossip.

Such great advice from ALL of you, I too am sensitive and this advice goes a long way.

There are much better things to do with our time than worry about "these sorts" of people - meditate, pray, read, sleep - you name it!

Feel better jovia!

it sounds like she is jealous of you for something. Can you think of what it might be?

I'm with linnybop.. some people feel like they have to bring others down.
Maybe to make yourself feel good about yourself, do something kind for someone who is truly ignored (the handicapped or elderly, could be something as simple as striking up a converssation with an elderly person....that always makes me feel great. I work with books , and I often get elderly customers that will chat with me and then thank me for the conversation.

WOW, it really helps to read what all of you are writing. Thank you so much. I would like to add more but right now I am being pulled away. The kids should be asleep by now so I have to go tend to them. I will come back in the am.
But really wanted to say "thanks"!
Jovia

Jovia,
Thank you for your post! I just read it, and I am going through a somewhat similar experience. My brother-in-law of 6 months has turned really nasty on me and the whole thing is getting me down. I, too, am sensitive and try to treat everyone kindly and with respect. Unfortunately, I can only ignore this guy so much as he IS family, but the replies here have really encouraged me and helped me feel better about the situation.
Thank you everyone who contributed to this post!
Susan

I had something like that happen to me once. There was a lady i worked with who ignored me completly. I just thought that was just her and her way. Then one day I walked into a room as she was telling someone that my voice grates on her nerves. I dont think it had anything to do with my voice. I think it had more to do with my confidence, looks, and determination. I believe she was jealous of me. She was very insecure.

It bothers me when someone does not like me, but the older i get the less it bothers me. If you are going to judge me from how i look or by your preconcieved notions, then you are just bad energy and i dont need you in my life.

I would go with that old saying, "When someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them." I would not go out of my way to befriend this person anymore than you do on a normal basis with anyone else. If you were nice to her before, continue to be nice to her. I would continue to act the same as always in the office, like nothing at all has happened. If someone brings it up, I'd just shrug it off and say, "Well, I really don't know why xyz doesn't like me, I like her just fine, but I'm not the least bit concerned about it." I would seriously put it into my head (even if you have to repeat it daily until you believe it) that this lady actually did you a favor by giving you a heads-up about what she really is. She's the one with the problem, not you. I am betting also that she has put many others in the office on alert about herself too. Most people realize that if someone will go around and gossip about another person, next time that person could very likely be them. This sort of stuff is the main reason I dread going back to work in an office setting in a few years (I'm a SAHM right now). I hate the office gossip and catty nature of the office in general. I feel for you.