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| The Cafe - 'TC' So? Your daughter wants her belly pierced? Your cat keeps using the couch as a litter box? Your husband taped the Hockey game over your wedding video? Your neighbor has a gnome collection and it makes you mad? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and come on in to The Café! Talk amongst yourselves...discuss, question, reply, or respond to many subjects! |
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Congrats and I can't stand when people take the J out of Joy. Sounds like you are prepared and excited and I myself have 3 and believe me if I didn't almost die from blood clots in my groins I would have loved a 4th! God Bless and take care of yourself and no negative thoughts during this special time. Screw the one who suggested an abortion how rude for a family member. Sorry I just had to vent because lately I can't beleive people. PS: I want to be an Auntie too!
__________________ ![]() Without Health you have no Wealth! |
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Congratulations, You have every right to be happy about this. This is a joyous occasion for you, your DH and your children. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks, you and your husband made a decision for what was right for your family. Keep us posted on the baby updates. |
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Sarabeth ~ Congrats on your exciting news! My youngest sister is going thru something similar right now. She has 4 precious daughters (ages 8, 6, 4 & 2) and they decided to try for #5. She is now pregnant (due the end of May) and the terrible things that family and friends have said to her and her husband is appalling. I on the other hand am overjoyed for her just like I am for you! May I be added to the "Online Auntie" list.
__________________ "Why must you speak, when you have nothing to say." Horatio Hornblower |
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Congratulations! I love babies, but I am glad it is you and not me. I am sorry your family isn't happy for you. You need your family now more than ever. They will eventually will come around.
__________________ Freedom Stands...Because HEROS Serve Mary |
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I say congrats yes some relatives will always think OMG you have you already have how many but I believe each child deservese a celebration I know I have 3 & everyone in my family only has 3 & they all really excited about the first but with the last 2 the excitement died I dont really care I mean of course it bothers you at first but then you let it go & be happy with your own family
__________________ mom of 3 greats girls |
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| congrat !! On the great news !! I would also like to be a online aunt too. Let me just say, I have 7 Children, 26 In May, 23 In May, 20 In May, 12 In June, 9 In Feb, 8 In april and 6 In July, Let's jsut say I've been right where you are now with People inside and out of Family.Makes me SICK when people start giving you what THEY think is right for you. I can Honestly say I have only asked for help 1 TIME in 26 years from ANYONE( and that was for a loan of 20.00 ). So I don't get where anyone has a right to tell someone how many Children they can have or what the *right* Number of Children thats for them.I'm so sorry your family is not happy for you, Best thing I can offer to you , Is to hold your head up high Know this is a BLESSING and move on,. Leave the poision behine you. Again Congrats on the baby,
__________________ MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping |
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Let me add my congratulations. That happen to me once about 25 years ago. I was expecting my dd who was my third child. Someone made a comment that I was expecting again. My kids were 2 1/2 years apart but I had c-sections. My doctor said I should only have two. We stopped after that. My daughter in law had a terrible time. She had a miscarriage in their second year of marriage. After 6 years, they went to specialists. They tried several things that did not work. The doctor said that they would try one more thing and if that did not work they should think about adoption. I am happy to say that she is now 17 weeks along and due in June. |
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I have too been where you are. We just had our 4th baby in 2006 (kids ages are 11, 9, 6, and 14 months). DH and I are both college educated and doing well, never ask for anyone's assistance--financially or otherwise. We have great kids that are all on the honor roll, never in trouble at school or otherwise, etc. We live 3 hours away from my family so I have no help either, but I am lucky that I get to stay home with my kids full time so that helps with everything, DH and I have totally taken care of our family on our own. My first three were all under the age of 5 too, so it can be done; of course you know that already. I am too amazed at the stupid, rude, intrusive comments from family (suprisingly mostly family) and strangers when you have a larger family. (Just wait until you are out in public with 4 kids, have some comebacks handy for all the noisy strangers' comments then, haha). When I was pregnant with my 1st child, the dr. thought she might have Down Syndrome (she did not thankfully have any problems at all, perfectly healthy--dr. based that solely on what he saw on ultrasound and we opted not to do any further invasive testing as we knew we would keep her anyway). My older sister flipped and hatefully told us (actually she make a huge scene in front of the entire family, I was terribly hurt, crying, etc. as it was such a stressful time anyway for us) that we should not have any other children, went on to tell me all the problems that child was going to have, etc. (she is in the medical field). She also had numerous nasty comments about child 2 and 3 (sister has 1 child of her own), along with several other family members. I did have to finally put them all in their place regarding my choices, etc. They at least knew when child #4 came along to keep their mouths shut if they disapproved or I would be very quickly telling them off. They do not realize, however, that you will never forget their nasty comments. You may need to distance yourself from these people making the hurtful comments until they can at least keep quiet about the subject, especially if it is causing you stress that you obviously don't need right now. Try to keep in mind that while they are totally wrong to send anything but happy thoughts your way, and it certainly does not excuse their rude behavior, your family is probably just very worried about how you guys will manage your full load right now. I wanted to add that when I told a friend from high school that I 'used' to keep in touch with about baby #4 (via email), she called and left a rude message on my machine that said something like, "Wow, I need to sit down with you and tell you about birth control!" Needless to say, I haven't spoken to her since. I mean with friends like that who needs enemies?! I'm sure she thought she was being funny, but it was quite hurtful actually. She later emailed me and stated that, "She hoped what she said on the answering machine was o.k.?" Um, nope, it wasn't and that wasn't even an apology. Geez, some people. Now, having said all that! You should be so happy about your 4th child! I can't even imagine life without our 4th (a boy--our other 3 are all girls so it's almost like I'm a new mom all over again, ha ha). He has been so much fun, the kids all love him, he is such a sweet (yet mischievious) little boy! Things will be hectic at times (ok--a lot of the time) but it will be so worth it all! Besides, the 4th balances out your family again, haha (really, it does!). Your littlest one now (who will be what about 17 months when the new baby arrives?) will have his/her playmate as I'm sure the oldest two will eventually pair off more like mine do. My 6 year old and the baby get along beautifully; you can easily tell that she is his favorite too. It will be GREAT!!! Congratulations! We are all happy for you! Remember the old saying: You will never regret any of the children you have, but you will always long for the ones you wanted but didn't have (something to that effect). Anyway, you can see I'm very passionate about this subject too; sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread! Last edited by sadarl; 01-19-2008 at 06:08 AM. |
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Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you and your family!!!
__________________ Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have! ![]() If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans? ![]() 'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter. |
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You have some happy thoughts for you from ME! Congrats!!! on your new little one. I think it is wrong when people SMUSH your happiness. I also think it stinks when people voice such ROTTEN opinions (like an abortion ) when they have no business too..Ignore the negative and BE HAPPY!!!
__________________ Eileen **Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help laugh when you see one tumble down the stairs** |
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Congratulations, Sarabeth! I wish you and your family the best....and I wish everybody else would mind their own business. I have a cousin who was in a similar situation years ago. Her *little* boy graduates from high school this year.
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I have 3 kids. I remember when I was pregnant with #3, I noticed such a difference in people's reactions. They would congratulate me, but there wasn't a lot of enthusiasm - especially like you tend to get for #1. Even when the baby was born, I got much less in the way of cards, gifts, etc than for my other two. I remember feeling kind of sorry for the baby that her birth wasn't the topic of as much joy and enthusiasm from others as number 2 and especially number 1. So, it made my mind up to be sure to send cards/gifts to friends who had "more than the expected" number of children. And, I know all about family not being real supportive of the # of children I planned to have! I am happy for you! I LOVE babies and would love to have a 4th myself if I weren't already 43 ![]() Enjoy your pregnancy (is that possible???) and be happy for this new little person who will bring so much joy and so many wonderful memories to you and your whole family. Susan |
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Congratulations on the new baby. How exciting.
__________________ ˇ´`ˇ.(*ˇ.¸(`ˇ.¸ ¸.ˇ´)¸.ˇ*).ˇ´`ˇ Ťˇ´¨*ˇ.¸¸Jackie ¸¸.ˇ*¨`ˇť Ťˇ´`ˇ.(¸.ˇ´(¸.ˇ* *ˇ.¸)`ˇ.¸).ˇ´`ˇť email me at tjbault@smithville.net |
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Congratulations! I have three children of mine own and would've loved a fourth, but DH insisted that we were done. It was only my brother and I growing up and I always wanted a bigger family. I say the more the merrier! DH comes from a large family (there are five children) and when I met him I thought how fun it was when they all got together for birthdays, holidays, etc. Of course when you have them close together it is hard...for awhile...but that gets easier as time goes by. My children are now 16, 14, and 12. They all have played together and are very close...most of the time anyway. I think that you are very blessed! I'm sorry that your family can't be happy for you, but I do think that in time they will come around. They are probably just concerned because of your DH being sick and because they care about you, they probably think it will be too much for you to handle. Just think positive thoughts and know that we all are happy for you! ~Lisa |
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I always wanted a big family but only could have two. I am happy for you! Your online family is behind you and it sure sounds like everyone on here is excited for you! Enjoy your pregnancy and think happy thoughts and don't let the "others" get you down!!!
__________________ Square dancing is friendship set to music! |
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Congratulations!!! We're happy for you! If you and your DH are excited and happy, then everyone else should be happy for you, too. Imagine the world if we all based our lives and our decisions on what everyone else thought we should do !! What a boring world that would be!! You and your husband go out and do the 'happy dance' (or looks like you've already done that!) LOL!! |
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Babies are a gift from G*d, and while they are so adorable, having a baby can be very stressful-you know this, you've had three. And w/ your DH in bed, it's going to be a lot of work for you. Your family is just worried about you. But you know what you can handle, and you know that a baby will be a beautiful addition to your family. You sound like a pretty amazing person-God Bless you and your family!!! BTW, we have four kids as well, so welcome to the club!!!
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God doesn't make mistakes. He will reaffirm that for you when you hold that little one for the first time. Congratulations!
__________________ I want to keep ALL of my paycheck and eliminate the pyramid scheme known as Social Security (there is no lockbox ). Do you want the same thing? www.fairtax.org |
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Congratulations! I certainly hope once the baby arrives your families will be happy and welcoming. Just think when this 4th blessing arrives you'll wonder how you ever did without him/her. And because you and your husband know you made the right decision, enjoy every minute of life, the pregnancy, the time with the other 3 kids without this new baby and soon all 4 kids together. It really will be fine!
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Wow!! I love all the online Aunties and Grandma Shirley. I think we all have you covered!!! Did you all ever seen that large family that was featured on TLC for the last couple of years? They homeschooled and built a big new house themselves. They had 17 kids and it worked out just fine. I can't remember that familys name right now, but it was a neat show that showed how they made things work and how much they loved each other. Hugs to "our" little one ~ Auntie
__________________ Donna |
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What wonderful news, who cares what they think this is your life your family your love. My Dh's family didnt even know I was pregnant with DS 9 , they didnt even know about him until he was 3 months old, I was tired of their nasty comments to me over the years and there are 9 years between him and his older brother, I hated telling them I was pregnant with the others who are 22, 20 and 18 and when I lost a pregnancy at 818 weeks do you know they celebrated? Yeah nice in laws I have, well had since the only ones left are BIL and Step-FIL and they are half way decent. You have plenty of people here to support you and lots of online Aunties and Granny's, Nana's, GRammies etc. I know its gonna be tough with your DH being ill with RA, but you'll get through it, I have RA, Lupus, Fibro and too many other medical problems to list and I wouldnt trade being a parent for anything in the world, trust me its a struggle, but its such a blessing to be "Peanut's" mom.
__________________ ~ Christine ~ Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny ! RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you ! Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy |
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Congrats! Your little one will be blessed with parents like you. BOOBOO on the sour pusses.. a baby is something to get excited about and another chance to improve the world... this is how I look at it. I think that each baby born could be the THAT person that discovers cancer.. so see, you are quite possibly saving millions of people by having this child (my weird sense of family planning).. and coming from someone who can no longer have babies.. go for it, snuggle and we welcome this new mycoupons member with open arms and large laps...CONGRATS! |
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I think, as soon as you decide to have more than two kids (or have it decided for you!), you've already got a big family, and one more isn't adding too much in terms of work or worry. The idea of a big family seems a bit overwhelming to me, but some parents do just fine with a ton of kids, and I'm in awe of them. If you've survived having three young kids, you're probably one of those parents. I'm guessing your family's at the 'overwhelmed' stage, without really thinking much past that. If you WANTED another baby, and just got pregnant, you have something a lot of women would kill for. Especially when it really didn't take you any time, and you already know you can handle the kids you've got. You have a husband who had the same goal as you, you've created your own family; I think you've got enough approval and love directly around you to politely smile at anyone who doesn't agree, and tell them to MYOB. |
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Tell your family that if they can't be happy for you, then they aren't your family to begin with. Because family would support you no matter what. Also tell them that God would not give you this child if he did not think it was a perfect fit for you, your husband and children. With that being said, do not stress over what your family thinks. They can either support you or not be around you. That is a decision that they have to make and live with, not you and your husband. With that being said, CONGRATULATIONS!
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So happy for you! You are giving your kids one of the greatest gifts they'll ever have - another sibling. Please keep us posted as you progress in your pregnancy. We all couldn't be happier for you. Love and Prayers! Another Cyber-Auntie |
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That is wonderful news! Since when did we ever care what other people think!? They are so close in age and will have a great life together. I have a friend who was one of 4 and he said he would never have 3, it'd be 2 or 4 that way no one would ever be left out or alone.
__________________ "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer |
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