I wasn't sure how to title this thread. So I just did it bluntly.

My Mother died Aug. 27, 2007. I had her cremated so I don't know if that makes a difference or not.

I have been getting things in the mail that are being done by the funeral home in her memory. They planted a tree in a national forrest in her name. I just got a book called "The Healing Heart" that talks about grief, how to cope with it, and it has a place to put her picture and a place to record our family tree and thank you cards to send out to people and in the corner it's in memory of my mother. I have not paid for any of this, btw. I haven't been asked to, or billed or anything.

Is this how it's done now?
The last funernal I was close enough involved with to know what was going on was my maternal grandmother's and nothing ever came like this and we used the same funernal home.

I swear, everytime I'm getting alright with Mom gone, I get something else in the mail like this and I'm back to square one!

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

after Tims funeral i recieved stuff for about 18 months after i moved i stopped hearing from the funeral home.
I never had to pay

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Tim
My Husband, My Love....Best Dad
You Were Taken From Us Way To Soon
Forever In Our Hearts
We Will Always Love You
2-18-69 TO 12-23-03
http://www.freewebs.com/mcgrathville/index.htm

The thank you cards and book come with the funeral package. Not sure about the tree thing. We got the same stuff when my MIL died in October.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

My grandpa died last Feb and we didn't get anything...sounds nice though

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Susie, I guess it depends on the funeral home. We didn't get all that when my mom passed away.

I'm so sorry for what you're going though. I KNOW it's hard. Catt (who lost her mom also) told me the first year is the hardest b/c you're going though everything - holidays, birthdays, etc for the first time w/o her. It doesn't get better, but it gets easier. {{{wishing you well}}}

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

We had MIL cremated a few years ago too and never got anything afterwards (but the guy we worked with was really nice, even driving to meet my husband halfway for stuff, they were about an hour away!). We only paid about $600 for the cremation so I don't know if there's a big price difference.

I am sorry to hear of you mom ! Hugs ! I would think the ;gifts came with the funeral package.

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Live, Love, Laugh

Thank you all so much! Maybe the funernal home changed their package and are sending out nice things afterwards. It's very nice, but sad too.

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

After my mom died I don't think my father got anything from the funeral home. If he had he would have been irate and I would have had to make some calls. Anything he got in the mail for her or with her name really upset him for a couple of years. If it also bothers you I would call and ask them to stop. Even good intentions can be hurtful to some people. Everyone deals with grief differently so I'm sure a lot of people would be bothered by the mail.

I agree with 3togetready. If you are bothered by it and it's not helping you, you should ask the Funeral Home to stop sending these items. I'm sure it won't be the first time they are get this request. Everyone deals with grief in their own time and way.

Susie, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

Hi Susiecat~

I'm so sorroy about your mom. I just lost my dad last month.

Today my mom asked me to go to the funeral parlor to pick up an additional 50 prayer cards with my dad's picture on them (her original order of these cards was included in the grand total that she paid for in full a few weeks ago, so we were prepared to pay a small additional fee).

When I got there, the cards were all printed and even lamenated. She also gave us 100 thank you notes. She charged us NOTHING! They had originally sent us a card when our bill was paid thanking us for going through them, and letting us know they'd be there to help if there was anything at all they could help with in the coming weeks. So I guess many funeral parlors take their continued care/responsibility very seriously. We didn't expect this, and my mom and I were very touched.

I hope you are coping with the loss of your mom okay. I can't think of anything harder I've ever done than go through all of this regarding my dad. You're in my prayers.

When my DD died, the funeral home was sooo great. The entire funeral was free even the casket. This home did it for all parents that lost a baby. I was so touched. The only thing I had to pay for was the obit. Afterwards, they sent me a memory book, the book everyone signed at the funeral and Thank you notes. During my time of grief, they really took care of me.

I'm sure the Funeral home would understand if you call them and explain you would rather not receive anything else. Like another post, I'm sure they have gotten that phone call before.

I'm sorry for your loss. It gets easier, not better, and the first year is the hardest, but I bet you're strong and will get through this. You are in my prayers.

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Proud Single Mother to 18 year old Twins Ashley/Davey, 14 year old Shawna, 5 year old Emma, and my Boo Bear, "Angel Hope" (1996-1997) RIP Boo.

We cremated Daddy back in June Today would have been his 78th birthday. The funeral home gave my mom a really nice book on grieving, a book that she could organize all the important papers in it that she would need in the upcoming months. A Nice book to list cards received, it had stickers in in that you could put on food people gave you so you could get their plates back them, Thank You cards and some other little nice things. We had no services Daddy didnt want them. We how to say this "Split" Daddy's ashes up , Mom got a beautiful big wooden box that has his name engraved on it with DOB and DOD on it, inside the box is another box with the ashes, I got a small 3-4 inch urn with Peace Doves on it that they sent to me, when I got it I also got a nice card expressing sympathy and a notice that a tree had been planted in my Daddy's memory. My Mom got one also. I am the family genealogist and I have possesion of all the papers to the cemetarie plots, receipts for caskets etc for my fathers side of the family and some for Mom's and in a lot of the paperwork there are certificates from the casket company where they have planted a tree in that persons memory. I asked the Funeral Director a few months back that handled Daddy's cremation about that and he says its an industry standard that a lot of the casket and urn/cremation display companies do for people who die and buy their products to help the environment by replacing trees I think its a great idea, I even got one when I cremated my cat.

If it bothers you by all means call the funeral home and tell them you dont want anything from them, but also it may not come from them deaths are a public record and companies will get the names of next of kin from that information and send out what they think is a good gesture but isnt. My mom got all kinds of calls the first week that my DH and I were there and that we fielded and let me tell you I wanted to pull my hair out, now it has slowed down, but I Can tell when someone has upset mom when I call her. There is a Opt-out list for junk mail out there I dont knwo if it would help for you to register for it maybe it would slow this stuff down.

Sorry so long my thoughts are many tonight.

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~ Christine ~
Grammie to Trinity Lorayne Jean Keens Born June 9, 2011 Loving my awesome guitar picking 100% Country Boy boyfriend Kenny !
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

I know that if you buy a specific brand of casket or urn, the company plants the tree, it's to replenish what is taken out. The name should be on what you received.

I think the funeral home is giving you great customer service. Most people want their loved one to be remembered, not forgotten. Sometimes it's not all about money, maybe that's why you seem to be wondering about this.

dl

Thank you all for your hugs and thoughts they mean so much to me!

I love they are remembering my Mom. I wish they had started this years ago when my Granny had died. Her daughters would have loved the things I'm getting for mine

I am sorry for all your losses too... it is hard (((((((hugs)))))))

-Susan

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.