When I picked my 12 year old up today from school he was very quiet and seemed upset but would not tell me what was wrong and even got mad that I was asking, so I dropped it and chalked it up to 12 year old puberty boy. Well skip forward 5 hours and he tells me that a girl in his class came up behind him in the gym and pulled down his shorts and boxers! In front of another group of girls and his class. He is so upset about it. I am furious. The girl was given 3 days in school suspension and I was not even notified. I was even at my older son's basketball game and saw their principal and she never even mentioned it. My son is very smart and popular. He was moved up a grade so he is the youngest but is still interested in girls and now all the girls have seen "all" of him and were laughing at him.I am sure if it had been the other way around, my son would be in a whole lot of trouble. I am so upset I don't even know what to do. I know I will be calling the school on monday, and I am even thinking about calling the principal at home to find out why I wasn't called. AHHHHHH I just want to scream!

That is horrible! They should stand that girl up in front of the whole class and let your son pull her pants to the floor!See how she likes it ! That is the only thing I think that would help the pain your son is probably going to suffer as a result of this.

I would so follow up on this. What this young lady (aka bully) did was beyond wrong on every level. The principal probably will make a stance, but only after you do. You need to make your concerns known.

At my daughter's private school last year, a 6th grade boy was expelled after "depanting" a boy in a gesture of fun. The school didn't take it lightly, and he was gone after attending this school since preschool.

Don't let it go. Treat this as if your daughter were in the same position.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Shanking", sadly, is quite popular! A similar incident happened at the school I worked, only that the shanker was a boy the shankee a girl. The boy got a slap on the wrist, the girl ended up changing schools. It was VERY poorly handled! Do your son a favor, and make it a big issue (because that's what it is to him!), talk to the administration, and make sure, it is dealt with properly. I feel so bad for your boy!

yes go to the principal or higher up than you thats horrible as a mom to a 12 yr old myself I would be peeved & I know my dd would die of embarassment thats horrible

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mom of 3 greats girls

This exact thing happened to my son, but it was a bigger boy who pulled my son's pants in the the bus line after school. I was called by the principal immediately and the boy was suspended for bullying.

Absolutely follow-up with the school admin and even the School Board.

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Mary

This girl got in trouble last year for kissing a boy in the lunchroom, the boy was her "boyfriend" and she got the same punishment. So apparently kissing your boyfriend and pulling down the shorts and boxers exposing the boy's genitals is the same thing to this school! I will be calling first thing monday morning. I just think there is a huge double standard.

Thanks for the advice!
K

Go over the Principal's head on this one, I say. If the school was going to do the right thing, it would have already been done---and the right thing definitely was NOT done. Do not call the principal--the principal or assistant principal should have called you to let you know what happened already. They chose not to--and that was wrong. Call the Superintendent's office first thing.....if you can get his voice mail over the weekend, even better. Also, if they try to stonewall you there (and they probably will), the media would be your next step....but give them the chance to correct their handling of this situation. I work at a middle school and our policy would definitely have handled this much more responsibly and you, as the parent, would definitely have been notified.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

I agree. Do you realize that if a boy had done that to a 12 year old girl, he would have been (quite rightly) charged with assault? If there's ever to be true equality for women, it should work both ways. What's sauce for the gander should now be sauce for the goose. I would insist that the girl receive (at the least), an out of school suspension. If my request was refused, I would dump the whole matter in my attorney's lap and let him file suit against both the girl and the school. Things happen but it's the school's responsibility to handle a problem like that fairly and that's not a fair resolution. It's an assault with sexual components and an in-school suspension doesn't cut it. Nobody should have their privates exposed by having their clothes yanked down in public. It's a physical assault and the girl can and will be arrested for it, should you decide to press charges. She'll be convicted, too so actually, an out of school suspension is getting off lightly.

I agree with what everyone else has said about pursuing this matter further!

I also want to say that I am so sorry this happened to your son!!

I agree with everyone else, you need to press the matter and go above the principal's head if necessary. There is definitely a double standard here, I cannot even imagine what would/could have happened if the roles had been reversed!

I've been having issues with my DS's school as well (he's in 6th grade) and it seems that the administration is so worried about "ruffling feathers" of parents that they end up doing next to nothing to punish bullies! My DS was kicked in the privates earlier this year and the school gave the juvie-in-training a one-day, in-school suspension. WTH?! DS was returning the other child's agenda (he'd left it in the classroom) and was thanked with a foot to the crotch.

And to top things off, my DS was called into the office with the other boy that kicked him and made to sit in the principal's office with him and tell "his side" of the story.

I keep saying if I survive my children's public school education it'll be a miracle.

These are the types of things happening in the middle & high schools here. My youngest ds was being bullied, but when I talked to the teachers they said they never saw anything. He was coming home with marks on him. I even had a teacher insinuate that it was happening at home, not school. It's what made me finally decide to home school.
Judy

That is so horrible, the poor guy! And they didn't even call you so you could get there to comfot him or talk to him!?

What would happen if you went to the police to press charges? Or at least see if they will go talk to her and the parents? Something drastic has to be done, this is so embarrassing for him!


She should have to apologize in front of the whole school at the next assembly. He will never forget this ebarrassment and neither should she.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Cougarskies, I totally agree with you.

Kerrybyrne- I'm so sorry this happen to your son..I'm sure the parents of this girl were NOTIFIED of her in school suspension. If my daughter did this to your son, I would of called you & apologize for her actions & let you know we were NOT taken this lightly.

Not only would I complain to the principle for not calling you... I would call the school board & register a complaint on how this principle handle this situation. I would definitely DEMAND a stiffer punishment...I honestly think the child should be EXPELLED .If other schools charge elementary kids with sexual harassment for hugging/kissing then what in the heck do they call this!

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

Hi i'm new here.I just wanted to say how bad i feel for your son.I would definetely have my butt down at the principals office Monday morning asking her why they did not bother to call you and demanding they do more to punish her than what they did.I would also be making a trip to the police department and asking if i could file sexual harrassment charges.I mean,my god,it wasn't just showing his underwear which i know does happen a lot in school,and thats bad enough ,but ,showing his genitals is another story.He is going to remember this for a long time to come,and possibly be teased for a long time to come.So she needs to remember this for a long time to come also.

I thought there was a "zero tolerance" for bullying - I think the principal needs to be on the hook for this one - I WOULD go right to the superintendant, and then I'd let him know that if (s)he didn't come up with a mutually agreed upon consequence in that meeting, that you would take it to the police, and unfortunately, THAT would bring a lot of unwanted negative attention to the school (assuming that is what they were trying to avoid by giving the little slap on the wrist that this girl was given). I would think twice about going directly to the media with this, out of respect for your son's privacy.

While I would take it immediately to the superintendant, and I would suggest that I'd be going to the police department next, if necessary, but I would want your son's consent to actually go to the police. (The Superintendant doesn't need to know that when you speak with him/her, though.)

Unacceptable. You are absolutely right - please keep us updated - we're all rooting for you and your son on this!

BTW -

Go to the superintendent and notify them. I can't believe they wouldn't suspend her. I would also make it known very clearly to the principal that I expected to be notified if anything else happened with my son. Principal clearly dropped the ball.

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Mommy Cracked

The very first post indicates that she was suspended for three days.

I'm very sorry for your son, and agree you should have been notified. I also agree the girl should be punished, but all this talk of going to the police seem way over the top to me.

The OP indicated the the girl was given an in-school suspension. That's not the same thing as an out of school suspension. As a disciplinary measure, it's a step above a detention and a step below an out of school-suspension. Depending on the school system, an in-school suspension may not even be noted on the record when the child moves up to high school or changes schools. An in-school suspension doesn't count as days missed but an out of school suspension does. An in-school suspension doesn't inconvenience the parents but an out of school suspension does. An in-school suspension is like a detention during school hours and sometimes, not even that much. Depending on the school and staff, it can be just like a regular school day except that the student is 'technically', on in-school suspension.

Basically, an in-school suspension is a nothing. It's just a way for the school to note that action was taken and has little effect on the student. Personally, I'd insist on the out of school suspension so the girl and her parents would get the message that this is a big deal. We all know that if a 12 year old boy had pulled down the pants of and exposed a 12 year old girl, the punishment would have been far more severe. It's very likely that a boy would have been criminally charged with some form of sexual assault so it does seem like a girl ought to at least be (really) suspended from school for a couple of days!

Yes this was an "in-school suspension" ONLY. I have seen this done in our local school, and the parents WERE NOT EVEN NOTIFIED. So the punishment was empty since they student was in school, got to miss some classes (even better for him) hang around all day and his parents never knew.

This boy was assaulted any way you look at it. The punishment was insignificant and insulting.

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Yes it is an in school suspension, which at our school for every day you behave yourself you get a day off! So she could just have to be in there on monday as she was in for half a day on friday. I will be on the phone to the principal on monday first thing. Unfortunatly I am about an hour and half away for a prescheduled hospital appointment for my disabled husband on monday morning, and trying to reschedule with the VA is a big pain. But I will definatly not let this drop.

Thanks again for all the advice.

Well, I don't mean this to be argumentative, but would you feel the same way if a grown woman or man had done this? Her son is assaulted regardless of the age of the perpetrator. Also, it was stated in an earlier post that this girl had done inappropriate acts the year before and she obviously did not learn any lesson from that. She must feel entitled to continue her inappropriate behavior because it seems a bit sanctioned and laughed off because of her age AND more specifically because of her gender. I have absolutely zero doubt in my mind that this would have been handled totally differently by the school had the gender roles been reversed. This girl is a bully and a harrasser and needs to face the consequences of her choices and actions.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

I'm sorry this happened to your son. I agree with the others -- the in-school suspension is not enough. And as others have said, had this been the OP's son shanking a female, it would have been deemed sexual harassment and he would have been in much bigger trouble.

Equal rights -- I don't think so!!!

Oh - I don't think going to the police is "way over the top" - it seems quite appropriate. Most likely the police would speak to the girl and give her a warning, which seems higly due.

What happened to op's son wasn't just "harassment" - it was actually a form of sexual assault.

I AM wondering if you would think it was 'way over the top' if this had happened to your child - either son or daughter...

EXACTLY, what if it was you standing at the deli counter at the supermarket and some man came and pulled your skirt & underwear down for the whole store to see? Wouldn't you call the police on him? How would you feel if all they did was say he couldn't come in the store anymore? Is that justice for the embarrassment he caused you? Where he would learn there were no serious consequences to his actions, he could in all reality go to another store and do it again? There is still a sexual crime here no matter what the age and where it happens, end of story.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

The difference as I see it is the difference between a child who may not yet have learned proper judgment and impulse control vs. an adult who must pay the consequences if he/she has not learned those lessons.

What if your child did something stupid like this (pulled down someone's gym shorts)? I'm pretty sure most would not want the police called and/or charges pressed against their child for a moment of stupidity, lapse in judgment, poor impulse contro, etc....

I'm sorry for the OP and her son and the way that the school handled it, but this really isn't a sexual crime, IMHO.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Devinmom -

Actually, I do think it would be "over the top" if one of my kids were on either the giving or receiving end of this and it went to the police. I would like to think it could be handled without that. I believe it makes sense to allow the school to correct their mistake and make the offending child serve an appropriate punishment. If that means having a town cop come in and talk to the child, so be it. But there's no way that I'd march down to the police station and turn the child in without first speaking with the principal.


cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Actually I believe it is:

Sexual Assault






And at 12 years old we are not talking kindergartener who has no clue, this child KNOWS that making a classmate naked in front of other is WRONG, or at least should.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

My heart goes out to your son, I can't imagine what effect something like that can have on a kid. I can tell ya if I were the principle that girl would rue the day she did that to your son.

I would contact the principle and school board in person and in writing because it's important to have a paper trail when dealing with serious problems. I would go to the police there's no harm in talking to them to see what all your options are. This girl needs to feel the severity of her action in her punishment and a 3 days in school suspension will not even come close. I have to say the double standard is sickening, this girl should be made a example of otherwise these horrible acts will keep happening.

Of course, she knew it was wrong, but the question is whether she needs to be turned into the police and charged with a sexual crime. And it's my opinion is that that's too much, especially since the OP has not had the opportunity to speak with the principal yet (although he should have contacted her). I'm not sure the little boy would wish to deal with the repercussions of this blowing up in his face and dragging on either....that's something to think about as weel.

I am giving the 12 year old girl the benefit of the doubt that she may not have been aware that the boy's boxers would be dropped as well. If he had been wearing tighty whities, he may not been exposed. Besides, nobody really knows what happened here...nobody knows whether the girl was called into the principal's office and was absolutely beside herself with embarrassment and shame, whether she was apologetic, etc....it could very well be that was the case and that is why she was given an in-school punishment.

I am entitled to my opinion, no?

cj/

P.S. I think OP is in Texas, not Wisconsin although the definitions are probably similar.

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

First I am sorry this happened to your son. I do have a few different points to make. I am 34 and if it happened to me in the store like a pp said I honestly would be shocked but probably not make a big deal. I was hanging xmas lights on a huge window at work one year cars outside were stopped waiting for a light and my boss (female) pulled my pants down(my undies stayed on) I could do nothing but laugh it really was funny. That being said if this were to happen to my daughter (who is 11) I would probably be beyond upset. I think it is different happening to a child as compared to a grown up(not that they wouldn't also be embarrassed I just wasn't) especially at that age and to have everything pulled down. Also when I was in middle school (this is in the late 80's) a boy did this to a girl and I'm sure at that age he didn't think about it or mean alot of harm (as kids aren't the most mature at that age)but the girl obviously was devastated. Now if this wasn't a big deal why do I remember it all these years later? And it wasn't me it happened to. So it is a pretty big deal. Other kids won't forget this so easily. The boy by the way got expelled. One thing about in school suspensions. I don't know how it works at every school but I remember that being a better punishment for some kids because if they were suspended to their house and the parents worked they were on a free pass for out of school do what we want time. I don't know that I'd get the police involved but if you feel that is necessary you shouldn't feel at all bad about it. Sounds like the school isn't going about this properly especially without even notifying you. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do especially when it comes to your children.

And I am entitled to mine as well.

I was asking what would happen, would the police go and talk to her and explain that what she did was more than a practical joke gone wrong? I am giving a suggestion, something that wasn't brought up already. If the school isn't going to do anything then as a Mom I would do whatever I could to defend and protect my son and others from bullies like her. No tolerance.


And I have no idea, but I believe the definitions are all pretty much similar, that was the first definition I came across, I didn't take note of the OP's state.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

CJ, I always look forward to your opinion and perspective.

Upon rereading the posts from those who suggest involving the police, I didn't see any that said the girl should be charged with a sexual crime (although I do believe it is a degree of sexual assault, as Flipper pointed out). What I believe is that the police should be contacted. They are the experts on the law, not me - so if it's a crime, they'll be the ones to make that call.

If there is any doubt at all about whether this is a police matter, then wouldn't they be the ones contacted to make that decision?

I do still feel that OP's son would have to be in agreement before taking this step. But I feel it is a valid response, if he wants to go this route, too.

As far as whether the girl deserves the benefit of the doubt - I think NO. She took her chances when she pulled down the pants - the boxers DID go down. From the story we heard, she didn't immediately change her tune or apologize for the exposure and humiliation she caused.

An additional concern I have here (besides the fact that the girl needs a huge lesson) is that OP's son does, too. If he observes this being swept under the rug, then does he then learn that degrading those of the opposite sex is not a serious enough offense to be punished? How about all the peers that witnessed this?

If the school attempts to get by with a simple slap on the wrist for this girl, then this is just the tip of the iceberg. This will be the new standard of borderline acceptable behavior for the emerging adolescents in that school.

I think this is a critical time to take a stand. I would go to the superintendant, and I would notify police if I had my child's consent if I were in OP's shoes. However, that's me.

No, the police would not just "explain" and "talk" to her! They would have to investigate it as a sex crime--assuming the OP filed a report. Not only would that involve a pretty exhaustive investigation, but it would probably also include Child Protective Services investigating BOTH families.

Now, if this had happened in gym class between two 12 y/o boys--would any of you be screaming assault? Or harassment? I don't think so--as that is typical 12 y/o boy behaviour! Inappropriate as the behaviour may be...it's still typical behaviour for pre-teen/adolescents. I think that the girl acted inappropriately, but not to the extent that some of sexual assault or sexual harassment.

I fully agree that the OP should speak w/ the Principal and/or Superintendent. Now, how does the OP know that the only punishment that the girl received was 3 days in-school suspension? Or that her parents weren't contacted? Or there was not some other punishment? Given that the OP apparently has not spoken to anyone other than her son, she doesn't! By all means, follow through and seek the answers--but good lord! (oh and if this happened to either of my boys, I WOULD NOT be screaming assault, filing police reports, etc.---I would probably speak w/ the teacher involved and the principal)

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Seems to me this young lady has some self-control issues. I would definitely be upset over this, and would want to speak with her parents, with the principal present. Before I did that, I would contact the police department (luckily, I have a friend who's a deputy) and ask them about the law, etc., not giving the girl's name. Then, I would print out the statutes and whatever other information I felt was pertinent and present that to the principal and this girl's parents. "Maybe" they are not aware of her behavior????

I do hope this all works out for the best. I can't imagine a young child having to go thru this sort of thing (either the girl pulling down the pants, or the boy who had it done to him)

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I'm curious, don't any of you have onsite school resource officers? All of the schools in my district have an officer on duty at least half a day. Some have an officer on duty all day. The resource officer would have been called into the situation from the beginning.

I am sure it was a frustrating weekend for the op, however all she has is her 12 year old boy's story. 35 replies of speculation to limited information doesn't do anything. The op must work within the school system to garner all the factual information she can. Perhaps the principal (it's not principle) and/or the school system is doing what they should be doing, not jumping to conclusions, rather conducting an investigation. I am sure the op will have more information on Monday.

dl

Actually I have my son's story and one of the witnesses who was there when it happened. She is the daughter of one of my friends and called her mother after it happen because she felt so bad for my son. The girl told her (my friends DD) that she got 3 days of ISS. I will let you know what the principal says tomorrow. Thanks again for all the words of advice.

Not sure why MarilynK is assuming the OP is filing a report w/the police department - that's some real leap from what anyone has talked about here. Any post I've read discussed consulting with the police department - you do NOT have to file a report to do that. The police CAN "just explain and talk" to the girl.

All OP knows is that she WAS NOT contacted - very big mistake on the part of the principal. The school system is on the hook for this. And I support her taking it to the top.

To brand this as "typical behavior" of a 12 year old is a shame - typical 12 year olds deserve more credit than that. Twelve year olds in today's schools are made very aware of sexual harassment, inappropriate conduct, and the ramifications of such. In the olden days you might have run into 12 year olds who had no idea this was a serious offense. Not in this age of zero tolerance for bullying and sexual harassment. And I don't believe this is just in the schools in my state - I'm pretty sure this is across modern day United States.

Adding this: I am a middle school teacher currently staying at home - that's where I got my info on schools' zero tolerance policies and we've had LOTS of experience with police officers coming in to talk to students in hot water. It's done regularly now.

If a person goes in to a police dept and starts talking about sexaul assault---you can be pretty sure that there will be action taken.

Also, I said "if" the OP went to the police, and assuming she filed a report--then it will get nasty for everyone involved. When you start throwing around words like sexual assault to me that indicates that you feel that a crime was committed. Sexual assault is a serious matter. I don't think this would constitute a sexual assault.

Inappropriate behaviour? YES, Definitely! Should it have been handled differently? YEP

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I do think it's typical behavior.

Typical for guys in the locker room.

Typical for girls in the locker room, even.

And in those situations, typically done when kids are horsing around with friends. It crosses the line if someone of the same gender walks up and does it to a girl/boy they don't know very well, that they know will be embarrassed about it, or is someone that they are trying to make look foolish. It's one thing for a guy to depants his best friend in the locker room in front of their other teammates, good buddies all.

But NOT typical or acceptable, EVER, for one gender to do to another gender in the presence of people from both genders.

And sorry, call me old-fashioned, but I do think that makes a difference.

I hope that you'll update us on how this plays out and I hope that it works out as you would like. Is your son still upset and/or anxious about going to school today? Poor thing. What have you been able to say to him abou tthe situation and has it helped him through it?

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

You should come to our district, and then you would see "over the top". They will arrest teens/children for fighting, hitting, pushing, skipping classes and number of hosts of other activities that would seem "over the top" to anyone.

Call me old fashioned, but I do find this to be sexual assault. I also don't find pressing charges to be over the top. In our school district, this child would have to go to alternative school..AFTER a stint in Juvi and going before the judge. There is Zero Tolerance.

If this is not sexual assault, then what is it? Disorderly conduct?

I do not know Texas law--I do know Arkansas and Montana.

When dealing w/ juveniles and sex crimes--if the victim is less than 3 years younger than the aggressor then it will generally not be pursued as a sexual based offense. If this had been an 11 year boy and a 15 year old girl then yes, it could have been prosecuted as a sexual offense.

My point has been and always will be--I think a lot of people here jumped the gun on screaming "consult the police". At this point, it's not a crime (per se). Inappropriate behaviour, yes. Handled badly by the school? YES.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Actually, it is a crime in every state in the union. It's simple assault any way you look at it. Pulling down someone's underwear is a physical attack on their person and the perpetrator is 12 years old, not under 7. It doesn't matter whether the victim is physically hurt, legally it's still a physical assault. If the authorities really wanted to make a stand, they could add to that simple assault and make the charge a little more impressive. She may or may not be convicted of a revved up charge or one with a sexual component (probably not) but she'd certainly be convicted of simple assault if she were prosecuted.

I would give the school the opportunity to correct their handling of the case before I took that type of action but the criminal action is certainly available. Technically, a crime was committed and the girl can consider herself lucky if they don't run her through juvenile court for committing that crime.

Well, with a good lawyer, yes! LOL.

Seriously, it's simple assault and it is a crime. They could decide to add a sexual component to the charge but it's unlikely. After all, why bother? They have so many violent offenders to try and not enough resources to handle them all. Her attorney would fight a sexual charge tooth and nail and they'd have her dead to rights on simple assault already.

I certainly wouldn't call the police until I spoke with the school and gathered my facts but I do consider pulling someone's pants down and exposing their private parts to be a big deal. Typical behaviour among teens or not (and it's certainly not typical where I live, far from it), parents would be wise to stress to their children that pulling off someone's clothes IS a big deal to a lot of people. The parents of the child who does it are the ones who really stand to lose. Between criminal and civil actions, the parent's lives could instantly turn into a nightmare - an incredibly expensive nightmare.

Wow - that is pretty sobering!

Thanks for the information.

MarilynK saw "a lot of people here jumped the gun on screaming 'consult the police'. " - yet I saw none of that. I saw a great deal of kind, concerned posters who suggested the police as a LEGITIMATE option.

I don't know about the police where you come from, MarilynK, but where I live, they are helpful, law-enforcement professionals.
Whatever OP and her son do, I hope she knows that she has A LOT of options, and isn't made to feel that she would be overreacting to explore ANY AND ALL of them. It is, IMO, incredibly dangerous to be so dismissive about this offense. What occurred should not be treated so lightly as to call it simply "typical behavior" or only "inappropriate" - that would be an absolute disservice to ANYONE in this situation.

Bless your heart....I happen to have worked for law enforcement and have a numer of friends in law enforcement. They are the kindest, caring and helpful individuals one could have the fortune of knowing. So, before you presume to know something about me or who I know or where I live, you might want to think again.

My response is, was and will always be that calling the police at this stage in the situation is jumping the gun! Good Lord! The OP hadn't even gotten the school's version of what ocurred, but yet we had people on hear screaming sexual assault!

As to the Assault--here's the definition per Texas Code:
Definition of Assault - Texas Penal Code

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Trackbacks § 22.01. ASSAULT.

(a) A person commits an offense if the person:

(1) intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly causes bodily injury to another, including the person's spouse;

(2) intentionally or knowingly threatens another with imminent bodily injury, including the person's spouse; or

(3) intentionally or knowingly causes physical contact with another when the person knows or should reasonably believe that the other will regard the contact as offensive or provocative.

Now, one might argue that a 12 y/o female knew or should have known that pulling down the shorts would be considered offensive or provactive. On the other hand, it could also be considered horse play--especially if similar incidents had happened before. So, if a precedence had been set, then one could argue that the girl was not aware that the act of depanting someone would/could be offensive or provactive. So, while, yes, assault is a crime--one has to be able to prove intent.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Am I gonna have to send you girls to your rooms?

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

If it will get me excused from work....


Seriously though---don't argue definitions when you obviously haven't researched it!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

How could it be anything other than offensive? What other intent could there have been?

And no we don't know you and nothing was presumed, but you don't know any of us either. This hits very close to home in more ways than you could possibly know so to say that we shouldn't even suggest police involvement when it is everyone right to do so is ridiculous. The OP should know all of her OPTIONS, maybe she didn't know this was a criminal offense, we are just providing her with more information so she can make her own choice to fit her particular situation.

Maybe I wouldn't go to the police either if I could get some real action from the school or the girls parents, but it is good to know that if nothing is done, you can do something to be sure this sort of thing doesn't happen to anyone else.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

OK...here's a scenario: Three days prior in gym class this had happened and no one was offended or upset. How was the girl to know that when she did it, it would be considered offensive or upset the person?

Per the Texas code--it is clear that there has be an intent to cause physical harm. Or you have to know or have a reasonable assumption that your actions will cause harm.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I liked the part where you blessed my heart.

You lost me after that.




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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

That does not surprise me

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

so what happened???

Not necessarily according to this:

"(3) intentionally or knowingly causes physical contact with another when the person knows or should reasonably believe that the other will regard the contact as offensive or provocative."

She doesn't have to physically cause harm, but she can physically contact him and cause him to regard the contact as offensive or provocative. It's still assault.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

read it again--she had to know or have reasonable belief that the act would be regarded as offensive or provactive. If she did not know or realise or feel that it would be perceived as offensive then it's not assault. More or less you have to be able to prove that she knew or should have known. Or that her intent was to cause harm. So my scenario is valid--if this happened previously and let's say the OP's son laughed at someone else that had been depanted (this is just conjecture) then she could have assumed he thought it was funny or would think of it as a practical joke.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"