Hello, with a sad heart this morning I had to get "Dolly" my german shep put to sleep. She was very old & I know in my heart it was time, but it's still very,very painful.
My question is... I have 3 children, 13, 11 & 7...They do not know she's gone & won't know till after school. The vet put her in a body bag & I had that bag wrapped up in my youngest trains sheet, because that was Dolly's favorite blanket. Should I already have her burried & then have a little family thing saying good bye when they get home, or do you think it's important they actually open the body bag, say good bye & we all bury her together? I don't want to freak them out either way & I don't know what way is better for closure for them. Thank You !!

I am so sorry for the loss of Dolly. I don't have an answer as this is our first dog but Thanks for posting because I always think about when that Day comes what will I do. I too have 3 kids. Deepest Sympathy and Good luck on whatever you choose to do.

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

I think it would be better to bury dolly with the kids present,in case they want to see her one last time and pet her goodbye.If you go ahead and bury her they might be a lil upset that they didn't get to see her that one last time,where if you wait ,the only thing you risk is one of them saying "Oh,gross."
I had a few pets die when I was that age and it always helped to be the one that actually made the casket,and placed it in the ground.It helps even more to let the children make a cross to put on the grave,even if it made from tree branches.It might even help them to be able to make a pretty coffin for her, a large plastic tote box,or cardboard box decorated with some memories of dolly ,with beads and other odds and ends .

You know your kids best.........for me I would already have to have the pet buried, and then have a little service by the grave.....My neighbors kids helped dig the grave and bury their dog when it passed away......I'm sorry I don't really have an answer for you, everyone is so different in their needs when it comes to grief.

I am so sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you and your family.

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Nicole

Sorry to hear about Dolly. All pet lovers know what that feels like. Not everyone's kids are the same. Do you know how they would feel about it? Has your family ever had a pet that has died, such as a pocket pet, bird or fish? If so, how did you handle that? As a child, when one of our pet dogs died, our parents brought them home from the vet, and we got to see them and say goodbye to them and help with the burial. I remember putting a Milk Bone in the grave. I liked having pictures around to look at. I think it would be nice if you could sit them down when they get home from school and explain what happened. (Keeping the dog in another part of the house.) Then ask if they would like to participate in the burial. If not, that's fine, but at least they'd have the choice. I'm glad that I got to see my dogs one last time. But that's entirely a personal decision.

By the way, have you ever read the Rainbow Bridge poem? It will make you cry, but I feel that I too will see my pets again.

Rainbow Bridge Poem

Try this site:
Children and Pet Loss
And so sorry for your pain.
L

So sorry to hear about your dog. As another pet lover, I know how hard it is. Hugs to all of you!

So sorry about Dolly. We had our cat put to sleep this past summer. The two youngest (aged 8,5) actually wanted to go w/ him when he was put to sleep and we let them. The Dr. had them out of the room when he put the IV in, but they were able to come back in and pet him and watch him go. Afterwards, we picked out a rose bush and let the kids help dig the grave. We all said a few words. As sad as it is, I think it's good to let the kids be a part of it.

I am sorry for your loss of Dolly.

Never having had children I'm not sure what the best answer is. maybe having everything ready for a small service and burial when they get home. I think they may want to see Dolly one last time.

Any way that you handle it, I hope it goes well.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss.

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is.

When we had to put our beloved pet to rest. I kept her in the car and asked my girls 8 and 10 if they wanted to see her after I told them she had passed away. They both said yes. She was still warm at the time though so she still felt real to them. They loved her up with hugs and kisses and we placed her with her things in a box and they helped me bury her in an already prepared grave. They were able to look her over good and ask questions. They only had a few questions though, but have since asked more.

They talk about her still, but with understanding that death is not a bad or scary thing but it is permanent and a part of life, but that she will forever be in their thoughts and hearts. They were able to see how peaceful she looked, which I think has helped in the long run. We had to attend a human funeral and since they understood death now I honestly believed it helped to prepare them better. They have never asked to see her grave again, but do talk of her often.

Again I am so sorry for your loss.

We had to have one of our cats put to sleep and gave the girls the option to say good bye or not. They both wanted to see him and say bye. We talked about it as part of life and said things we loved about him and will miss the most. It was hard on all of us but I think it was good for their understanding. I am tearing up just thinking about it. They still talk about him and will come up with questions. We have a picture of him and lock of his hair. They did not help with the physical burial but the saying good bye was impotant.

I'm really sorry for the lose of Dolly.
I like gingerbrd's response. All kids are different. One of mine would want to say goodbye, but the other wouldn't. You know your children, so you know what's best. Good luck with whatever you do.
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Judy

Give them the choice, but make sure they know they don't have to look if they don't want to. If the death was peaceful, and I don't see how it couldn't be, let them know that. You'd do well to sit down, have some hot chocolate, and talk about how lucky you were to have your dog, and how it hurts to lose her. There's no good way to lose an animal, but being able to give any creature a good life, and a peaceful death, is a blessing. If you love someone enough, you'll eventually have to let them go without begrudging that exit. You're all going to hurt, and that's okay, so you all need to help each other heal now. I'm not sure I'd introduce the rainbow bridge concept, as I think I would have found it creepy at that age.

Was just thinking about you and your family, hoping things went the best they could......

still saying a prayer for you, our pets are such a big part of our family that the losses are hard.

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Nicole

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing okay!