Received an invite to a baby shower. Inside they wrote to not wrap the gift, just use the sack and use the money you would of used for gift wrap to purchase another gift like diapers, wipes, etc (which cost more then a roll of paper/gift bag and a bow for $1 each at the dollar store).

I haven't gone to a baby shower for years and never heard of asking this, is this something new? I think it's tacky and going a little over the top. I can maybe see telling them if they would like to they could, but the way it's worded it's telling you have to use a plastic sack and purchase another gift. Some people (like me), already have a stash of gift bags/wrap and wouldn't be purchasing any. Now the invitation says I have to purchase another small gift and toss the stuff in a plastic grocery bag.

Sounds very tacky.

Seems like each passing year, people get more and more greedy.

Wedding showers and baby showers alike, it's almost like the couple EXPECTS you to completely furnish their home or completely fulfill ALL needs for a new baby! (Or 2nd and 3rd children.)

I guess I grew up thinking that shower gifts were supposed to HELP out, not completely supply.

I would be soooo tempted to get a small gift card to Babys R Us or something like that and put that in a plastic bag. "I wouldn't have had to wrap this anyway, so I didn't buy an additional gift! I hope that's alright...."

Grrrr! Lack of manners/common sense really gets to me lately.

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Holding a shower like this could end up feeling like more of a fundraiser than a celebration!
Don't forget, the new mom probably isn't even in on the planning, and might really ENJOY unwrapping pretty packages! I say wrap up your gift just the way you were going to, and if anyone asks (which I dont' think would happen), say "I thought "so-and-so" might enjoy actually unwrapping a few items, so I couldn't resist!"

Sounds like one of those ideas that most people aren't going to follow, anyways...

I think it is not only tacky but confusing. I love the little baby shower wraps and bags the stores have out. I also have a stash of gifts.

very tacky.

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Live, Love, Laugh

I agree. Very tacky. How on earth does the price of wrapping paper equal the price of another gift??

I'd probably just wrap the gift as a the other posters said.

I agree,wrap it up just like you were planning too.

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"Never loan your car to someone you have given birth too"

I would just go ahread and do as we were already planning on doing.......You are giving a gift, and gifts are whatever you want them to be, and presented how you want them to be presented.....

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Nicole

I agree with everyone else, if you were planning on wrapping or using a pretty gift bag, then I would do it anyway. I don't think it's tacky to present your gift is a store sack (some people come straight from shopping and didn't have time to put in a bag or wrap) but I do think it was tacky that they put conditions on bringing a gift.

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visit my homepage http://penny.mycoupons.com/

Plus - unless you get the bag at Dollar Tree - it will cost as much or more than wrapping paper. Unless she meant to keep in the the store bag...yeck!

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Mary

So tacky I'm sticky.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

Another different annoying thing that is happening around here for baby showers, is NOT OPENING THE GIFTS.
I guess that can be boring, but I really like the tradition. I have been to several where you dump the presents in a pile, have a luncheon and go home. You all sit at separate tables, so you never even interact much with the mom-to-be. Not fond of the new customs.

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I've noticed some are not opening gifts a kids birthday parties either. Watching them open gifts is half the fun. I went to one baby shower for a very young first time mom, she didn't know what half the stuff she open was for or how to use it.

Maybe the next thing will be asking the guests to bring their own food and drink, or a cover charge to help off set the cost of you showing up? LOL

It's getting to the point where they should just skip the party and send out a letter saying "We're having a baby/getting married/buying house/or ?, so send some cash. SASE are no longer sent because then we'd have to pay for them, so find an envelope and use your own stamp."

Uh yeah I think I would be put off by all of it. I get irritated with people who expect you to bring them gifts for thier cause throw that extra burden in on thier guests.

Only for the trashy. Even if they were family, I'd skip that shower and they would get no gift at all. I wouldn't want to associate with someone so greedy and tacky.

!WOW! Even as cheap as I am, I would never do that, much less tell someone else to do it. Remember as someone else pointed out, the mother may not even know about it since showers are thrown by "friends".

I would do whatever I would have done for a gift regardless. And I would probably end up saying something to the ingrates that sent the invitations.

dl

Seems like we're all in agreement on this one. Hopefully the person throwing the shower didn't realize how tacky the request it. I, too, would just bring the gift wrapped the way you like. Afterall, what are they going to do??? Ask you to leave???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Well, the way I look at it, the gift bag actually IS something she'll use later.

My oldest is in high school and I'm just now getting to the end of my stash from the shower when *he* was born! Having all those bags from my own shower has saved me a ton of cash over the years!

I went to one baby shower where we played a game that we had to guess when the mom to be conceived. I thought that was tacky.

BEYOND tacky...it's utterly low class and says a lot about the person throwing the shower. The new mom may or may not be privy to the details but I know *I* was involved in the details of my shower. If you go (which I would be tempted not too and if asked why, tell the truth about the tacky request), I would wrap as I normally would

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I'm not saying I agree but, the reason for no wrapping is so the mom to be does not have to sit there and unwrap while people ohh and ahh and want things passed around. It's a time saver. I've only seen it done once but the mom to be was having triplets. So that meant three of everything. They had all the presents nicely displayed and if you wanted to you could go see what the mom was getting. Some people don't like to be watched as they open gifts. Half the time no one but the close family and friends care what the mom to be is getting and sit there and chat while she is opening things.

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I have OCCD
Obsessive-Compulsive Coupon Disorder!!!

Goodness...if a person doesn't like to be watched as they open gifts, then maybe the person needs to forego being a recipient of gifts. Isn't that all part and parcel of the shower thing....to see all the goodies? To count how many ribbons get broken? To write down what the bride or mom-to-be says as each gift is opened and then make a funny story out of it? When did these events become a grab-and-go event? I feel sooooo old.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I think it is very tacky to request that!

That said, I usually don't buy wrapping paper, but wrap a gift in a little blanket instead. Hold it all together with a brain squeezer (if it's a girl), and ... ta-dah!

LOL!! Me too, cj!

All the tradition of these things is going out the window. It's more of a "drop-off-your-multiple-gifts" and head out. Some people don't like to be watched? But isn't that PART of the shower and always has been?

I could understand the triplets, that could get taxing for everyone, depending on how many people were invited. But any other situation? No, I don't get it.

cj put it best, "grab-and-go" event. Greed and impatience takes the fun out of more and more situations all the time. It's rather sad.

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The last few showers (bridal and baby) that I have attened, there have been a pile of envelopes when you sign in and you are supposed to fill out your address on them for the thank you notes! Pleeeeese you found my address ok when you sent me the darn invitation, you can find it again to send the thank you note.

I am giving a baby shower in a couple of weeks and I just addressed the thank you notes when I addressed the invitations for the mom to be. I even made some cute computer generated return address stickers with storks on them and attached them to the envelopes. I will also give her a book of stamps to use.

All she needs to do is handwrite a note on the inside.

Wow! That's pretty bad! I guess you at least you knew that thank you notes would even be sent though!

There was a baby shower at my office a few years ago for a coworker. It was a potluck lunch and the lady organizing it made invitations on the computer (probably at the office) that said, "Please bring a gift and something to eat." I was stunned! I swore I was going to send that invitation in to Miss Manners, but never got around to it! In this case, the mom-to-be was embarassed, but I agree that they're often in on quite a bit of the planning.

I was also peeved to be invited to a baby shower this year that was several states away and was for a friend of a friend. This lady pretty much had everyone she'd ever met on her guest list. Furthermore, if I live 400 miles away from you and you don't invite me to your shower, I won't have hurt feelings. If you do invite me, I'll assume you know I won't come but you still want a gift. I went ahead and sent a gift for this one and later heard that the mom had complained that not enought people bought off her registry!

You could one-up the tackiness by using Christmas paper. You probably already have that lying around, so no extra cost.

that is too tacky op..I would definitely ignore that request. And maybe the mom-to-be has no idea the hostess was asking people to do that.

People just lack manners and common sense these days.

I know someone who called a party hostess (a day before the party) and asked, could she bring anything like extra ice or drinks or whatever.. other lady said without missing a beat- we didn't get a cake yet, so yeah bring a cake. don't care what flavor. just big enough to feed 25 people. omg who asks a guest to bring a birthday cake to a birthday party!

I also once had a coworker (who was smart and a capable worker, but had very little common sense and maturity) get promoted. She sent out a mass email to dozens of people at the company including upper management inviting everyone to a 'drag queen party..pay for all your own food and booze' to congratulate herself.

People are crazy sometimes you just have to laugh

I wonder what Emily Post would have to say about this one. lol

I totally agree with the fact that we are losing the fun of these events. Ppl need to relax and enjoy. These are times for bonding and fun, it's not just about the gifts and food. Some ppl enjoy wrapping gifts, they spend the time praying for the reciever or just remembering the person.

The addressing the envelope thing? I confess, I've had guests address their own envelopes, then used them for a drawing for a door prize. Ppl didn't seem to mind....lol

People are tacky!!!

Where I used to work, we would go in together to buy things. It was hard though, because most people only registered for larger items. Come on now- I understand that they are trying to outfit for a new baby- but a 200 carrier, 150 stroller, 100 highchair etc...

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AKA: Airbornearmywife

Let me ask your opinion on this:

A friend of mine was throwing a baby shower for her daughter.
She sent out invitations and assigned people gifts based on the first letter of their last name, based on the seasons of the year.
So if you were A-E you were assigned Fall..so all items that would be used during fall (and calculating the babies size at the time fall would roll around)

If you were F-K.. You were assigned Winter.. same concept.

And so on.

She got a call from her mother in law saying it was rude.

Do you think it was rude and tacky?

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Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be!

I don't know if I'd use the words rude or tacky, but I don't think it was a good thing to do.

If a baby is born in the spring, why should people have to calculate what's needed 6 or 8 months later?

Maybe I'm out of the loop, but I always thought showers - whether wedding or baby - were to help people get STARTED, not outfit their baby's needs or home needs as far as possible.

It seems like more and more showers are set up as everyone else is provding extended needs for a couple or baby, not just helping to get started. My personal opinion on that is that it's greedy.

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Very tacky to the OP's question. What will this younger generation think of next? Whatever happened to 'thank you for the gift', 'thank you for taking the time to come to my shower and buying me a gift'?

mabear, how did you get over 2000 reps having just signed up in February? No one else has hardly any. Curious.

dl

I think it was inappropriate to "assign" gifts. First of all, what if someone can't bring a gift??? Do we not want them to come to the shower??? (or party for whatever occassion). Secondly, I like to get my own gift from my own ideas. Not to mention, isn't that what a registry is for???

OP, I'd love to know what finally happens in regards to the shower.....if everyone obeys the wishes of the person throwing the shower.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I think that this is kind of a good idea. I never buy a newborn size outfit for a shower. If the baby is big at birth it will never be able to wear it, or maybe only wear it once. I much prefer to buy at least 6 months but usually larger. So to get a variety of sizes this would be a good thing. If you were not planning on buying an outfit/outfits you could still get what ever you wanted since this was only a suggestion. This is much better then getting 15 newborn outfits that the baby will never wear because they weighed 11 lbs at birth. And some stores return policies are so terrible she may not even be able to return them for a bigger size.

Quote:

Originally Posted by deddlastt mabear, how did you get over 2000 reps having just signed up in February? No one else has hardly any. Curious. dl

VERY CURIOUS!!!

Mabear/BuckeyeatHeart, how DID you get over 2000 reps having just signed up less than two weeks ago?

Good catch, deddlast!!!

Awwww shucks, it's right there for everyone to read......

dl

I noticed that Nicole had a lot of reps a couple of days ago (she's good for them!), but the one that really blew my mind was MyCouponsShauna, who with just 60-some posts has racked up an impressive 123342 rep points! Wowzer - you go girls!

Perhaps the new rep system gives lots of points for blogging and other things???

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

What does this have to do with baby showers?

Way off topic, dont ya think?
Last I heard the rep points are no big deal

As for the baby showers, I like the old fashioned ones. I always buy from the baby registry, I know the mom has picked out things she will want and need. Unless it is a good friend of mine, I always go out of my way to find something nice. And I do wrap the gifts very nice~... its all in presentation. ( hehe)

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Don't argue with a fool. The spectators can't tell the difference

I read all your comments about baby showers. I am not an offender of any of the items complained about but life is too short to stress about these things! If someone is being greedy, I count myself blessed to find out ahead of time for $20 or $30.

I have started helping my friends with first time babies because the have no idea what they will need. All they have is book knowledge from the what to expect books and the list that babies r us tells them they need.

I have three kids and had a baby shower for all of them. Granted the first kid was the big deal baby shower where everyone is invited and lesser for the following two. Only close friends and family were invited to the 2/3 one. I had a diaper shower with my third - that was awesome! Each baby is a gift from God! Life is too short to be stingy - relax and enjoy!

I don't think folks here are talking about being stingy. But there's a mighty big difference between being stingy and being a walking bank. Manners, and what's "right and wrong" are being thrown out the window and "greed" is the new in thing. Those things might not be important to some I guess. But if it's bad as it is now, how bad will it be when yours or other children are adults? Not a pleasant thought...

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I was at a shower once where they asked for gift cards only. They got a few gifts and didn't open them because gift opening time was not planned and were very rude about it.

Another time I was at a shower and they didn't have anything to eat. I walked down to a store and bought people at my table drinks and a few bags of chips. It was hot.

My last shower experience was at a restaurant. The mom of the mom to be refused to pay the bill because she felt she was being cheated. So we were all asked to leave and the owner said it we wanted our gifts back we needed to pay for our lunch.

Those were all college friends. Glad those times are over.

As far as not wrapping gifts and suggesting to buy another gift...wow.

What a nightmare and how embarrassing! How did that turn out? Did each of you pay for your own or were you literally kicked out? Did this mom (of mom- to- be) have a ligitimate gripe or was she trying to pull a fast one? Extremely poor planning.

As far as original post, extremely tasteless. It's like begging for another gift and rationalizing a way to ask for it. And the thing is, if people were to buy another gift in place of giftwrap, it would be a cheap knock-off from the dollar store. Just what you deserve!

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

One request on a shower invite that I thought made a lot of sense was instead of buying a card, buy a book for the baby instead. There was a lovely poem included that made the request, saying that while cards are read once, the book will be saved and read to the baby and you will be remembered.
Seeing as cards can be pretty costly, and books can be found pretty inexpensively, I thought it was a nice idea.

Now...my mind would go to this scenerio.. does the mom to be have some physical disability that unwrapping would be hard for her? Is she single and poor or married and poor? That is where my mind goes... I agreee... skip the shower and go ahead and give the mom 2 b a gift.. drop it by her house later (when she can enjoy opening it privately).. and she may not be aware of the suggestion.

Now this is something I would like to do someday. I love books, and hope to pass that love on to my children.

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AKA: Airbornearmywife

I swear I could never invite people over for any type of party or shower and not offer any food, finger sandwiches, snacks or something!!!

I would wrap the gift. I agree with everyone and think the "suggestion" is extremely tacky. But, I will say that when I attend showers now, my gift is almost always diapers and wipes (I buy them when I read about good deals here with coupons!) That way I'm always ready and I'm not paying full price. I can give a great gift and it's something the mom-to-be will definitely use! I never buy clothes because I know way too many moms (myself included) whose kids had clothes hanging in their closets that never got worn because they grow so fast when they're babies....

I always had clothes left in the closet with tags, I'd always pass them on......If I do buy clothes I buy them in larger sizes, that way they can use them down the road....For those that I am close to I crochet an afghan and depending on the season, booties and a hat...and I always give diapers and wipes too.....One of the best things that a group I belonged to did(when I had my last two) was buy diapers and wipes, and they got together and everyone got different sizes....I swear I didn't have to buy diapers for a year! The First time they did it, I had no clue came home to a laundry room packed full! Second time I sort a knew it was coming!

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Nicole

Wow, sounds like there are people out there who need to be cast into Etiquette Hell.

If it were me, I would NOT be going to the no gift wrapping shower. The very idea of telling people not to wrap their gifts so they can buy more gifts with the "saved" money is just about the tackiest thing I have ever heard of.

If I ran the world baby showers would go like this:
-Invite only close friends/family. None of this 100 people at a baby shower stuff unless you have a huge family.
-Reasonable gifts only. No $200 strollers/$500 cribs/$50 outfits, etc. Cute, inexpensive clothes that can stand up to baby barf/basic supplies such as diapers/middle of the road furniture, etc.
-Serve some light food at the shower-deli platter, fruit salad, finger sandwiches, etc. and CAKE. There must be a cake.
-Guest of honor opens gifts while other guests watch and oohhh and ahhh over all the cuteness(this is the best part of a shower, why on earth would someone NOT do this).
-Games/activites are optional with this one exception: Someone must write down what the mother to be says as she opens the gifts so you can make up the funny story where the things the mom says while opening the gifts are what she said the night the baby was conceived. A little immature maybe but always hilarious.
-Thank you notes should be sent in a timely fashion and be addressed/written by the guest of honor. Assistance from a friend/relative is ok for addressing them but this is NOT to be done at the shower.

(I love it when I play "If I Ran The World".)

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Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

I went to a baby shower just last Sunday and they did this. The mom-to-be is a teacher and suggested a book instead of a card.

I thought it was a great idea and was able to pick up a really darling pop-up book at Dollar Tree for much less than I would have paid for a card

I've had 3 showers, For my 1st born <ds> then for my 2nd cause was having a girl, a few weeks after the shower I lost my dd and had all this girl stuff and the crib all setup ect and it was terrible having to take it all down and put away. I then had one for my 4th. i didnt request any shower for any of them, I REALLY didnt want the last one because of what happened with my dd, but the girls dh works with wanted to do the showers. I did make my own Thank You cards, some find that tacky of course, i made each card to fit the person it was going to and nothing was the same on any of the cards, and I hand wrote the Thank you message not just copy and pasted something off the Internet.

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