DH and I have been married for 31 years and are currently planning on building our dream house.
The one , and absolutely non-negotisble thing we want is separate bedrooms with a connecting bath and closets to buffer sounds and temps twixt the 2 sleeping rooms.
Dh has severe snoring probs, even after 3 different surgeries to help this out. I just can *not* ask this darling man to go through another surgery after seeing how tough it was for him each time.
I am menopausal and my internal temp controls are waaaaay outta whack. I *must* have an open window and fan going even in sub-zero temps.
I need sleeping meds due to my temp probs, but mostly because I'd never be able to fall asleep with dh in the same room with his outrageous snoring (yes, I've done earplugs for decades when we sleep together, but with kids, it's a very uncomfortable thing for me to do) . We currently take turns sleeping on the futon in the LR, him more often than moi-self cuz it's too hot in the LR for moi.
I love this man more than anyone else I've ever known (even my kids), but the older I get the more I treasure the ability to get a good night's sleep.
I've recently learned that separate sleeping rooms are the rage in new homes, so whaddy'all think?
MZ

Makes sense to me! I learned a long time ago that whatever works for a couple is fine with me!

Hey, if it works And if you change your mind later then you've got an extra bedroom (or... extra large walk-in closet lol)

I too have a snoring husband although mine will not get a sleep test. After years of me sleeping on the couch in the middle of the night, my husband and I now sleep in separate bedrooms. I love the man to death and yes we do have "date" night - but we SLEEP in separate bedrooms. I too appreciate a good night's sleep and it just wasn't happening when we were in the same bed. When we are at a hotel, I take along ear plugs.

Mine snores like crazy and messes up the covers sooooo much that they end up on the floor and I'm shivering. He also can NOT sleep w/o tv. I can not sleep WITH tv. so he moves to the couch in the middle of the night on the weekends and just sleeps there monday - Thurs.

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If you can afford it and you and he agree to it, I'd probably say to go for it. Lack of sleep can not be good for a marriage ... Balance.

When my grand parents built their retirement dream home, they designed a house with two very nice master bedrooms. Each had its own bathroom that they designed for their needs. Each was room decorated exactly as they liked. My grandmothers room was all pink and white and my grandfathers was done all in browns. They had a door that connected the two like an adjoining hotel room. They each had a door that opened to the hall way but they could be locked and their adjoining door opened when wanted. That way they could have guests and still have some privacy. It was a fantastic house and just right for them.

At night when DH is snoring and waking me up all night I say YES!!!!! (He has a CPAP and refuses to wear it "too uncomfortable") But sitting here now, I think I would be lonely.

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Mary

My parents sleep in seperate rooms due to snoring issues with my Dad......I can honestly say it's the best thing that has happened to their marriage....They get along so much better now, lack of sleep is good for no one......As long as you and he are both ok with it, then go for it......

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Nicole

Have you tried a humidifier in the bedroom? Helps with snoring.
I'm reading this and thinking oh my. I've been married for 30 yrs. this May and there's no way I'm even thinking about seperate beds. But I guess whatever works for you is your business.

DH went the CPAP route also, tried I dunno how many different types of masks/nose thingies, never could get comfortable with em. He was a mess the whole year he tried to stick with it due to severe lack of sleep. Rather ironic since the CPAP was for sleep disorder. Every time he rolled over or moved more than a few inches in his sleep the hose would get all tangled up and wake him up. Poor thing was as sleep deprived as a woman with a newborn. And the noise from the machine was akin to a jet engine in my book, I was surprised he could even fall asleep with that noise.
We do have a humidifier in the bedroom, always have had one there, but it has never lessened his snoring.
I'd rather we could sleep together all time, but at this point, after sleeping separately for the better part of the past year, I'm used to the idea of how it is. We've always liked each other a lot, but it wasn't till we started sleeping separately that I realized how negatively my poor sleep was impacting our relationship. The past year we have kept telling each other we feel like newlyweds again (not the sleeping together part, the having fun together part and the being starry eyed part ;-).
When we saw some HGTV type show about this trend in new homes of double MBRs we decided that was for us.
It'll be nice someday to not need mess with the futon in the LR every night and morning.
MZ

My parents have slept that way for years and with my dad's snoring I understood (mom and I would bunk in a separate room when we went on vacation) but I always thought I'd sleep in the same room wth hubby. Fast forwarnd 12 years this spring and we've had separate sleeping rooms for well over half our marriage now and trust me - we are NEVER going back. Love him dearly but it just doesn't work - not only do we often sleep at different times, but he snores, I steal covers, he likes the room warm and 1 blanket, I like the room cold with 3 blankets plus his, he kicks - and I punch ..... back when he kicks.

I was looking at house plans recently, although it will be years till we get to build our dream house. I found quite a few designs with either full on dual master suites - or workable plans for that. A few were available online, if you're interested in links op - just PM me.

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Personal I could never do it. There are to many little things in our night time ritual that I would miss and long for......like talking about our days, doing word puzzles together, or holding hands before we go to sleep. But it's your marriage and if it works out for both parties then go for it!

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I think it's great that you've been married for 31 years.... I imagine that takes a lot of compromise and figuring things out. Whatever works for you, do it! I've been married for 1 and hope I can stay married for another 30. Congrats on your dream house!

I too love my husband but between his work hours, sleeping styles and his snoring i would love separate rooms

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"Never loan your car to someone you have given birth too"

also been considering this seriously lately dh likes to sleep in a icebox & me in a oven we havent actually slept in the same room in along time because he works overnights & when hes home I just sleep somewhere else but lately I been wanting my own room I guess one of us will have to take it in the basement if we do it

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mom of 3 greats girls

I think it's a great idea and love it. I'm seriously considering doing this when our oldest goes off to college next year and we have a spare bed. Between DH's snoring, breathing, flipping over, tossing, etc. I can't get a good night's sleep. This has been going on for awhile and has gotten worse lately. Perhaps because I'm going through peri-menopause I'm just more aware of just how uncomfortable I am. I tried ear plugs the other night and they seemed to help a little bit. But I'm so paranoid that there's going to be a fire or something and I'm not going to be able to hear and wake up...weird I know. They aren't the most comfortable things in the world, but they sure beat listening to the snoring. Putting up with this builds resentments and when you don't sleep well, you aren't in the best of moods. I say that everyone should have their own room...or at least their own bed. ~Lisa

IKEWYM about the earplugs... I used em outta desperation but never felt comfortable about what I might be missing when the kids were little. And oy, those suckers really hurt my ears! Earplugs are such a normal part of my fam's life (for moi) that this past Christmas several of the heir force gave me mondo packs of earplugs in my stocking ;-)

I did what I felt I had to do in days of yore re: earplugs, but have decided it's time for more drastic measures ;-)
Snoopy24:
Our bedroom *is* in the basement, and it has become *Mom's bdr*. I can keep the window open and a fan going down there 24/7 w/out negatively impacting the rest of the fam (5 kids still at home and dh). DH usually sleeps on the futon in the LR, a place that is much too hot for this menopausal mama. Kids always complain about what an icebox my room is, but c'est la vie. Someday they will either be going through menopause, have a wife going through it, or have a spouse who is a snoring monster and they will understand why their mama was the way she was at this point (one can only hope, eh? ;-)
Polve: we do all the things you would miss if you sleep *every* night together , but we do it before bedtime. Snuggling in bed each night is one thing I wish we still had. As it is, it is every other night, not too bad for old folks like us ;-) DH is a good cuddler and a very warm form for me, but at this point in life, a decent's night's sleep is paramount.
BTW: dh has also reported that I am cover hog, a restless sleeper, and other quirks re: my sleeping habits. So our separate sleeping quarters are not entirely due to his jet engine snoring ;-)
DH is my Prince Charming, but I don't believe that most fairy tales are realistic.
MZ