Spinoff of the various shower notes....what are your personal standards of etiquette for Thank Yous on gift-giving occasions? If the gift is received in person, is an in-person verbal Thank You sufficient? If Or the phone? Mailed note? Do your kids write thank you notes and if so, to whom - family, friends?

I admit to being bad at this...what's worse is that I'm not ignorant that I should be doing them, I just don't make the time. My mom raised me fine....I just am not following her teachings very well (And it really pisses her off!) .And I haven't been so good with my boys either. I let them call their grandmas to say thank you.....that's what DH does. He has never written a note in his life. It is a little more personal than the notes that I do write....

Just curious what everyone's personal standard is....no flaming!!

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

For birthdays, etc. we do them to the people who expect them. At Christmas, we do them to to EVERYONE -- we have time over the holiday break!

I too was raised to do them after every gift that was given to me but that was also in the day when we did not have an hour of homework every night like my kids do.

Sad, huh!?

I try to send them when I recieve gifts... I'll admit that since being sick, I've been bad at them. I encourage my kids to send them though!

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

Weddings,showers,graduations,anniversaries get a written thank you card

If the gift giver is at the party then a verbal thank you. If the gift giver is not there, a phone call or written thank you (if we know that's what they expect). Christmas gifts get a verbal thank you or a phone call to relatives who may send a gift (not usually the case).

I received thank you notes for birthday parties we were at attendance at and I always feel weird about them. I guess it's because I don't do them and up until we moved here to CO, I never met anyone who did do them for birthdays.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I make my kids write them if the people sent them the gift/money. If it is birthday gifts from their friends then a verbal thank you is fine.

If the gift was given in person I don't send a thank you unless it was over-the-top or VERY thoughtful. But if a gift was received in the mail, thank-yous have to go out within a week.

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Mary

I have my kids write thank you cards for birthday presents given to them by friends at my kids' parties - and we almost always get thank you cards from kids when we give gifts at their parties.

The birthday parties are usually somewhat chaotic - the kids invariably forget who gave them what. I keep a list as they open their gifts (like at a shower) so that they can write a more personal, short thank you later.

When they couldn't write for themselves, I had them color a page, or "write" something, and I wrote the thank you.

I do like to write my own thank you notes as well. Anyone who has done something thoughtful for me gets one - I'm not usually within that old standard "2 week period" but they get one.

There are no occasions under which we don't send thank you notes. And I notice when we don't receive them, but it is rare.

This year the dance teacher here wrote this one great big general email to a mass of her students she said "Thanks to each of you for those thoughtful Christmas gifts!" That's all we got. I thought that was annoying, so I won't be giving her a gift from the girls next year - I don't feel it was appreciated. I am a piano teacher and I teach CCD. I mailed a thank you to each kid, no matter how big or small the item.

But I do think this might be a regional thing - we get lots of thank you notes, and we write them for everything. Not at all flaming anyone who doesn't - I think it depends on what you experienced growing up - both within your family, and from those to whom you gave gifts, as well. I'm sure I wouldn't be into writing thank you's if I wasn't getting such nice ones, myself!

We (me, hubby, and kids) all write our own thank yous. For birthday, Christmas, valentines, easter, whatever the occasion may be. Even if we thank them in person, they will still get a written thank you in the mail.

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I do Thank You cards for pretty much everything, I try to write them that night or the next day, or in all honesty life will take over and I'll just plain forget......and talking about forgetting, I still owe Cuthie one from last summer

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Nicole

If someone gives us a gift we send a thank you whether it was given in person or not. I figure when they get it they get to smile again.

We don't do them for Christmas, because then you are exchanging.

My kids have done them since they were 2 for birthdays. I would write them and then hand them a crayon and have them put a doodle on there. They are expected to write everyone a thank you for birthday gifts, those that came to the party and those who sent one. When they were a little older, I would write out the body on a separate sheet of paper and help them spell whatever it was they received, but they wrote it in their own handwriting. Now, they just do them without help and know they have to. I have gotten comments on my kids sending thank yous every time.

I also sent thank yous out to my girl scouts who used to give me gifts. My kids saw me do it so I was practicing what I was preaching.

When they graduate, it will be the same expectation.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

If I spend my hard earned money on you then you should send me a thank you. If I spent my time making you something I should get a thank you. We are raising a bunch of brats that think they are entitled to gifts for any occasion. My children were taught to send thank yous. Yes, I either call or send thank you notes

I buy a pack of thank you cards..they are always on sale at Target. Keep them on hand to send out when appropriate. I have the child sign his name and thank the person for what they sent.

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Live, Love, Laugh

If I like the gift, I send a thank you note. If I don't like the gift, then I don't. I wouldn't want the gift-giver to give me that type of junk again!

Just kidding. I try to send thank you notes for all gifts, unless I receive it in person and can thank the person then.

ROTFLMAO!

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

It depends on the person giving the gift. Some older people expect a written "Thank you" while the younger generation is okay with a verbal "Thank you". Personally, a verbal is okay with me.

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My kids thank all the relatives in person. They usually thank the kids they invite but I always have them write a thank you note to any friend that came to the party. This way I am sure the parent knows we appreciate it.

We don't send thank you cards for Christmas presents or birthday gifts from family members. We call and say thank you. That seems more personal to me.

When the kids have birthday parties with friends they send thank you cards to each child.

I always give my students a hand written thank you card anytime I receive gifts from them. The exception being at the end of the school year as I don't see them again. Of course when my students give me gifts I always give them a hug and tell them thank you too. In fact, I have a stack of thank you cards to give to my students for the valentine gifts I received.

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Wow, you had me scared there for a minute. Glad to see you were only kidding.

We send thank you notes for all gifts -- even if we verbally thank the giver. My oldest DD puts me to shame -- her thank you notes are written the next day, at the latest, and I don't even have to remind her to do it. I guess I did something right in raising her!

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

I personally and the kids say thank you at the party or place and we call them. Also usually I send them a picture or if they come over they see the item being used, and my kids still somehow even months after they get the gift they could say thank you again when they see them for the same thing.

My kids were not allowed to wear anything or play with anything they got as a gift until the thankyou was written. If someone has taken the time to select a gift for me, I feel obligated to thank them with a personal note. I think it is a gracious trend that is going away, and that saddens me. A handwritten note of thanks takes only a minute but it means so much more.

I agree with everything you just wrote!! If I spend the time to give someone a gift, I expect a Thank-You- I'm really surprised at how many b-day parties my kids have gone to and not a thank you from the child. I will remember that the next year too

My DS is a little hard to motivate to write his, but my DD has them written the next day after receiving. An email doesn't cut it, has to come the ol' fashioned way- snail mail.

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I love to give to others and I never expect anything in return, truly I don't...

What I'm trying to say is if I expected a thank you every time that I gave a gift, it would take away a bit part of the joy of giving.

Know what I mean? It's hard to explain.

Many people have stated that they make sure to thank the gift-giver verbally at the time they are given the gift, and feel that this is enough.

But what's the difference between this kind of verbal 'thank you' and the kind of 'thank you' that a person gets for merely saying "God bless you" or "You look nice" - don't you think the recipient of a thoughtful gift should do just a little more to show sincere gratitude?

I feel that if a gift giver goes out of their way to put thought, time and/or money into a gift that it deserves more than a mere verbal acknowledgement at the time that it's given. A phone call, an email, or a hand-written card are all ways to SHOW that the gift was appreciated. It is a little more work, but it shows the giver that you care beyond the unavoidable verbal 'thanks.' When I don't get such a sign of appreciation (after the party), then it seems to me that my gift wasn't worth the extra effort in their minds.