Since we've all been discussing parties, etiquette and the like, I have a question that I will need to resolve in a few days, and would love the perspectives found here~

I am having my DD's birthday party at a roller rink. The 1st friend we called to invite was very worried - has never been on skates, etc. The mom said that she would need to be there to help her daughter, otherwise, her daughter would stress too much, and probably would be better off not going. I suggested including the mom in on our list of up to 10 "guests" (there were only nine before this). The mom was thrilled, the kid is fine about it now, and I think everything should be fine.

The problem - I have now had other parents ask if they can hang around/skate also. I have told them that they are welcome to, and that the rink is holding an open skating session anyways. But will the parents expect me to rent their skates/include them on my guest list? I don't want it to seem awkward or rude that one parent is definitely 'in' and is part of the party, while the other parents are expected to fend for themselves, but that IS the case. And I don't think it would be fair to just openly discuss the need for the other mom to be included, as this might embarass her DD.

Is this an awkward, painful party moment waiting to happen, or am I just reading too much into the possibilities here? Any thoughts/experience in similar situations? THANKS for any help!

Here, the parents don't have to pay to go to the skating rink with their kids unless they skate. If parents skate, they always pay for themselves (I've never even heard anyone ask about it, it's just implied). The party guests are guests of the birthday child, not the parents. I can't believe they'd even expect you to pay for them...

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

Here in our area, the kids are that are invited to the party get the free skate rental and parents can pay for themselves if they want to skate. The parents that don't skate usually just hang around. They do not have to pay.

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NSDQ-Nightstalkers Don't Quit!

We no longer have any roller rinks around here but when we did, we got invited to a party. Kids got in free (ie: party giver paid) and I paid for myself. I wouldn't even THINK to ask the other parent to pay for me. 90% of the parents stayed and I saw each one pay alongside me.

If asked, I would say" sure, you can hang out. It's open skate as well. Admission is $xxxx if you want to skate or free if you want to watch, in case you weren't aware. Look forward to seeing you there!"

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Let the Skating rink tell the parents. All you have to do is tell the skating rink people that you will pay for kids only (except the 1 parent) they usually keep a check of how many kids and you pay at the end (or halfway through). They will ask the parent if they are going to skate, if so they charge them at that time, the parent can make the choice to pay/skate or not. They usually don't charge if you are not skating. We did the skating rink party a couple of different times and alot of times the parent will stay and skate or bring other siblings to skate (but not to the party) etc. We didn't pay for any extra people. Now we have in the past paid for extra people at a bowling party we had, but it was much cheaper than the skating party.

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I agree with all the previous posters--do not feel you have to pay for the parents who want to come to watch and/or skate. That is their responsibility. I cannot imagine that the parents (including the original one who asked to come with her daughter) would expect you to pay for them. Don't worry about it....it will take care of itself

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Thanks all! You've relieved my pre-party stress!!

Happy Birthday to your dd! I wanted to add that I bet the other parents won't even know who got in free and who paid..ya know ?

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Live, Love, Laugh

For the parties at our small local rink, parents only pay if they use the rink's skates. Parents who are there supervising their kids or who bring their own skates don't have to pay. You might check with the rink to see what their policy is.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

My DD recently got invited to this, and the parents insisted on having someone there, in case DD fell or got hurt. We paid to get in, food, etc., I didn't assume the parents were paying my way, and didn't ask, I just paid. Good thing, since it wasn't covered. Now, personally, if I "required" a parent to be there, I would pay for the parent to be there.

One time we had a bowling party for DD and some of the parents were invited, too. We covered all of them. Not sure what your financial situation is, or how you feel about that,but, that is just what we did. Each situation is different.

I would be a little concerned that another parent would find out you covered one parent, and not all. But, I wouldn't worry about it, it's really none of their business. If they do find out, just tell them that was your daily Random Act of Kindness.

ETA: Just wanted to add that I would be concerned about hurting someone's feelings if they found out one parent was "covered" and others were not. I wouldn't want to send the wrong message. I guess my concious (sp??) would get the best of me.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

If I asked to hang around and participate in the activity at a birthday party, I would expect to pay my own way. If you had one opening to fill your party quota, it's up to you to decide how to spend it and I think you made a great choice and a nice gesture to the mother of the worried daughter.

I would not be worried that others would find out and be caddy about it. Afterall, you didn't actually cover that parent - if I'm understanding you correctly, this is one of those minimum party size events and you gave up the extra slot first come, first served. I've done this many time over the years, mostly to siblings....no big deal....have never known anyone to get their panties in a wad over it.

JMHO,

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

When we had our boys' birthday parties at the skating rink, I paid for the kids who were invited (we paid upfront before we were allowed IN the skating area/rink part. If there were parents that came along and wanted to skate, they paid. Usually, though, the moms just sat around and talked. Of course, when we cut the cake, they were invited for the cake. The pizza party I had paid for covered just the kids (they were given plates by the skating rink).

I think if parents are going to attend, they should pay their own expenses.